Pet Peeves in Film

[Big Adam]

I'll get us started:

* I hate, hate, hate it when a character does something completely death defying but has this look of placidity on their face. Most recent example, when Mrs. Smith jumps off the roof of that building with the goddamn umbrella in the trailers to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Her face gives off the emotion of someone ironing.

* An extension to the above is that same placid look when the hero is fighting. Think Underworld.

* Finally, if you get punched or kicked so hard that you fly across the room, you will proably die on impact from the giant creature that struck you. This is constant in movies. Minimum, you will have a shattered skull or broken neck. You won't simply brace yourself when you hit the corner of the room and lose consciousness, only to awaken a few minutes later.

[TwoBitHack]

Chicks who go out of their way to cover their breasts during a love scene or right after when they are lying in bed.

[Deus Ex Machine]

Sex scenes that last longer than 30 seconds.



;)

[refriedwhiskey]

They have pills for that now, Deus.

Ask your physician if Cialis(tm) is right for you!

[Bad Liver]

The female love interest who we're supposed to consider intelligent and sensitive but who dates an obvious jack hole.

[Pen Dragon]

tempered windshield glass that shatters like untempered window glass

overdone lightning, and the use of the same thunder sound effect every movie in history has used. listen for it, i swear hollywood has just one thunder wav in its entire sound effect library

[prescribe22]

This be the one, Pen?

http://wtv-zone.com/caseman/halo/wav/thunder10.wav

[dclary]

Chicks who go out of their way to cover their breasts during a love scene or right after when they are lying in bed.



Along these lines... Where can I get those sheets that only go up to a man's waist, but cover the woman to her neck?

[Big Adam]

Good point about the thunder. Speaking of sound affects, they have those two man screams that constantly are in use. The real gutteral one, then the one made famous by that storm trooper falling to his death. Hear those all the time.

[Medici]

- Hong Kong style fight scenes - slo mo and unrealistic

- Bourne Ultimatum (the 2d one) style fight scenes - quick mo and unrealistic

- poor lighting (Batman Begins, which also suffers from the Bourne problem)

- poor sound (the music ovewhelms the dialogue plus on TV, every channel seems to have their own volume level)

- age/maturity of actors, e.g. Katie Holmes as an Asst. DA w/ 5 years of experience (she damn-near ruined Batman Begins)

[Writer1]

Cops who do this . . .

COP 1
Let's wait for backup!

COP 2
No! I'm going in!

Cop 2 rushes inside towards a certain ambush. Cop 1 shakes his head and follows.

[Big Adam]

Good one...

You don't see it much any more, but the station chief that curses out the buddy cops for killing nine innocent people and the "one more screw up and I'm gonna have your badge" lines.

[Pipe]

1. Fight scenes with quick cuts and/or rollercoaster cam work. I'd actually like to see the fight! I hate this sooo much. I hate this 10x more than any other peeve. That one fight in Bourne Supremacy ruined the whole movie for me.

2. Fight scenes that show the same punch and/or kick and/or whatever in slo mo from 5 different angles. Classic in the John Claude van Damme days. A 10 second fight took up 10 minutes of film.

3. Fight scenes that just don't look right. Like the baseball bat scene at the end of Signs. Hey, if Charlie's Angels fights can look good, anyone's can.

4. Unrequired dialogue. A good example I was sure was going to be ruined but then wasn't. MI-2: the chick injects the virus into her own body, Tom Cruise had just jumped through the wall. And here comes the bad guy, looking at the chick. I was absolutely sure we were gonna hear **** like, "You bitch." ... "I did what I had to do!" ... "Do you know what you've done?" ... "I love him. You're an animal" ... or any one of a hundred different crappy unneccessary lines. But no, he just looked at her, she looked away. Perfect.

5. Crap that shouldn't happen if someone just used one stupid brain cell to think about. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Sean Connery and the kid are in the city trying to capture Mr. Hyde. And Connery is explaining what they're doing as they're shooting at the guy. Like the kid was off sight-seeing that day, or maybe he slept through the preparation work. Or like they'd get all the way into the city, find Mr. Hyde, and start shooting at the guy BEFORE anyone tells the kid what the plan is. Someone somewhere must have thought this was some clever bit of film work to get out some exposition in the heat of the moment. It's boolshi!t and lazy. Stop insulting us.

6. Cutting out bits of story to leave to our imagination when it's suddenly flung in our faces so that we can say, "Oh, isn't that clever?" Ex: Ocean's Twelve: Okay it's a heist movie. These guys are heisters. We're gonna see some serious security taken down by some tricky heisters. And poof, super-villain heister's mansion is robbed. Just like that? Come on! This is a heist movie, we actually want to see the heists! I have a feeling the writer just said to himself, "Oh crap, another heist. Well, our boys have already proven themselves. The dude will just wake up next morning and the paintings will be gone. The audience can make the mental leap for themselves." Um, no. It's cheap and it doesn't work. If our gang can rip off the "supposedly" number one heister in the world in the blink of an eye, then whatthefvcck do we need to see the rest of the movie for? What if Roy Schneider had calmly rode out to sea 1 hour into Jaws then come back with a great big shark tied to a pole and muttering, "This isn't the one," what effect would it have on us? It's obvious. This guy isn't in danger. This guy can face Jaws. I don't need to worry.

7. Star Wars Episode 3. Okay, now it's personal. This movie bugs the frick out of me. Anakin just turned waaaay too easily to the dark side. And his moments on-screen with Natalie Portman were very uncomfortable. They had all the onscreen chemistry of roadkill. Portman should have died in a very ordinary way. And the Jedi could have said, "Too bad bud, shouldn'ta screwed the byatch." And then he could have gone berzerk on their butts. And after he got all mad and killed stuff, then he only has one place to go...his friend Palpatine who never asked anything of him, was just there to listen as a friend. But bah, what a mess.

[yvonnjanae]

1. "War of the Worlds" when all the townspeople stand precariously close to the heaving, cracking asphalt right before the aliens spring forth. Living in California, I know that heaving, cracking earth is a bad thing and nothing good can come of waiting to see what is down there

[The Critic]

Great topic,

1. Bad lighting is a big one
2. Movies I can figure out in 15 minutes ie: The Village (boogie man crap)
3. Movies that are painfully boring until the last 15 minutes with little payoff: Hide and Seek
4. Overplaying an actor's perceived positive feature: Jolie's lips in every movie.

[Pipe]

4. Overplaying an actor's perceived positive feature: Jolie's lips in every movie.

Oh good one. I can't remember which movie I watched last with her, but I remember the camera man couldn't draw the lens away from her puss-injected lips. It was gross.

[Ravenlocks]

For some reason I don't like it when movies begin over black. I don't know why, I just don't like it. I guess I want to see what's going on.

[Big Adam]

Great topic,

2. Movies I can figure out in 15 minutes ie: The Village (boogie man crap)


All right, my two cents is that the above mentioned was put there on purpose by M. Night to make everyone feel clever and superior for figuring this out. It was a plant for the real reveal which was the ending that this group was in modern times.

I thought it was very clever on the director's part (regardless of what you M. Night haters have to say!).

[Johnny Stacatto]

amateur, wannabe screenwriters with a superiority complex who pick apart movies that actually get made when they haven't written and/or can't write a sellable script to save their mothers' lives.

oh wait. i thought this thread was "Pet Peeves in Film Forum".

forget i said anything.

[Ravenlocks]

Um. How many professional film critics have sold screenplays? You can know how something works and whether it works well without being able to build it yourself.

Duh.

Moreover, it's kinda dumb for screenwriters not to analyze what works and doesn't work in produced movies. Because presumably in analyzing these movies we'll see things we can apply in our own scripts.

[Medici]

"amateur, wannabe screenwriters with a superiority complex who pick apart movies that actually get made when they haven't written and/or can't write a sellable script to save their mothers' lives."

Move to China you freak.

BTW, Columbian kidnappers freed my mother for an option on my screenplay in lieu of money I didn't have, so there.

[idreamofoscar]

RomComs where protag's' best friends live vicariously through their best friends. They seem content with living boring, empty lives but insist that the protags take a leap to advancement. Case in point: In Maid In Manhattan, JLo's character's best friend insists that she (JLo's character) try on a high-end suit that belongs to a hotel guest. Why for f@%*sake doesn't she try it on herself? It's not like she's fat and ugly.

[Pen Dragon]

This be the one, Pen?

http://wtv-zone.com/caseman/halo/wav/thunder10.wav

Pretty goddam much

[Biohazard]

5. Crap that shouldn't happen if someone just used one stupid brain cell to think about.

Like the team going to pick up Mr. Orange at his house in Reservoir Dogs when nobody is supposed to know anything about anyone else? And in the same movie, letting the guy who was just shot in the head drive the getaway car. Smooth move. No wonder why they all got killed.

And speaking of RD, I hate when there's scenes in films that serve no purpose and effect the plot in no way at all. Example: the Lady E car scene.

I also despise when actors don't "sell" their injuries. Someone breaks their arm or ribs or whatever and is running and jumping like they're in the best shape of their lives. Anybody who has broken their ribs knows that is hurts just breathing.

I also hate (perhaps not a strong enough word) unnecessary editing and shaky camera movements (I guess for a "documentary style" feel or some bull****). And action scenes where you can't see anything that's going on...The bourne supremacy is guilty of everything I mentioned in this paragraph.

[NoTalentAssClown]

"Flying camera" CGI shots - the fake camera that whooshes over mountains and under rivers and rubber bands from the earth to the moon and finally settles on Aragorn or whatever. If the shot can't be captured with a real camera, don't fake it.

Stylizing subtitles in any way, shape, or form. See MAN ON FIRE and NIGHTWATCH. It's distracting and ruins immersion. I hope this fad goes away, well, how about right now.

[zz9]

Jean Claude Van Damme.


And swearing in movies for no reason. I love Goodfellas, South Park etc and have no problem with swearing and found the car rental scene in Planes Trains And Automobiles very funny but in the middle of Pretty Woman her friend swears and it's just... wrong. It has no place in the mood of the movie and I assume was put there simply to get a higher rating.

[BeefMissile]

I could list several things I can't stand in films/TV shows but a big one is phone use;

A) How is it that every actor knows every phone # by memory and never needs to look at a note or business card, they just dial. That bugs me!

B) No one ever gets a busy signal or leaves a VM,unless the person they call has been killed or captured by the bad guys.

c) Cell phones always work everywhere, unless someone is trying to kill them!

D) People need to remove their glasses when they talk on the phone. Why? Alec Baldwin made fun of this same thing on SNL a few years ago....

[prescribe22]

"Flying camera" CGI shots - the fake camera that whooshes over mountains and under rivers and rubber bands from the earth to the moon and finally settles on Aragorn or whatever. If the shot can't be captured with a real camera, don't fake it.
Totally agree. I can't stand that. It's one of a number of things that really bothered me about all the LORD OF THE RINGS, SPIDER MAN 1 & 2, and first 2 HARRY POTTERS.

[The Critic]

All right, my two cents is that the above mentioned was put there on purpose by M. Night to make everyone feel clever and superior for figuring this out. It was a plant for the real reveal which was the ending that this group was in modern times.

I thought it was very clever on the director's part (regardless of what you M. Night haters have to say!).

Big Adam, I don't mind M. Night I liked Signs, but I guessed they were in modern times quick. Why send the blind girl unless there was something you didn't want her to see? I even said, "I bet there is a satillite phone in that locked box." I was wrong, but I wasn't surprised by the end.

[Big Adam]

I got ya Critic. However, what you said in your original post is what I've heard many people crow about (including Ebert)...they said this movie was predictable and that they figured out that the village elders were wearing the costumes prior to the true revealing.

Then, when I ask those same people (minus Ebert) "what about the ending?", they smile and say "yeah, that was crazy".

Go figure...

I really apreciate what M. Night was doing in that film. Too bad the film wasn't better. He knew everyone would be trying to figure out the ending the moment they stepped in the theater (due to the previous track record of M. Night films) and gave them this feeling of superiority in guessing the monster piece. Then blindsided most (not all), with the modern day element. Classic.

[Hassan_Chop]

I hate it when I go into a movie thinking it’s going to be awesome and come out knowing it was crap. :|

[TwoBitHack]

The RomCom taxi-chase race-to-the-airport at the end.

[AaronB]

Silencers on revolvers. Although, admittedly, Hollywood has got much better about getting their gun tech and gun history correct.

[LatteAddict]

People browsing through numbers in a phone book, and, when finding the right entry -- TAPPING it.

What is that about? Is that finger trying to draw the actor's attention to the phone book? Or has it confused the phone book with the world wide web? And tries to double-click it...?

Really, does anybody TAP stuff they read?

Oh, or NOD silently to yourself when you make decisions?

Oh, or TALK TO YOURSELF to convey important information, while alone in the room?

/LA.

[zz9]

Cars on mountains and the brakes fail and no one thinks to change gear to slow down. Or scrape along the wall. Even worse is the case where they have been sabotaged and now the gear lever doesn't work either! How do they do that?! How come the brakes never fail in the parking lot at 3mph? How does the gear lever work fine until then but know when the brakes have gone?

And don't get me started on helicopters. If the engines fail helicopters can do a safe landing. It's happened without some passengers even noticing there was an emergency. If they're shot smoke is very unlikely to come from the tail. Jet engines do not cough and splutter like a '73 Pinto on a cold morning.

Jean Claude Van Damme. Seriously.

Computers that can enhance a grainy security camera still frame to the quality of a 5megapixel digital camera.

Plots (Oceans 11, Mission Impossible etc) that depend on the baddies doing EXACTLY as predicted to interact perfectly in some incredibly complex plan. No thought is ever given to the possibility that they might do something else, or get distracted, have someone else with them or take a different route home or whatever.

[Biohazard]

Plots (Oceans 11, Mission Impossible etc) that depend on the baddies doing EXACTLY as predicted to interact perfectly in some incredibly complex plan. No thought is ever given to the possibility that they might do something else, or get distracted, have someone else with them or take a different route home or whatever.

I love when the opposite of that happens. Someone sets up a perfect plan and everything goes completely wrong. It's fun seeing the character try and fix things before everything goes to sh-t.

[Mac H.]

One pet peeve is when a hidden bomb or bug has a FLASHING RED light on it - despite the fact that it's meant to be hidden.

The sad thing about this pet peeve is that I found myself doing exactly the same thing in a script, because I couldn't figure out a more elegant way to draw the audience's attention to it.

Very sad.

[Big Adam]

Computers that can enhance a grainy security camera still frame to the quality of a 5megapixel digital camera.


Great one! You can't go a week without watching TV or a movie where the lead in the scene is standing over the shoulder of a techie and utters the oft repeated words "Can you enhance that image?"

Then through a series of clicks and mouse drags, Voila!, perfect screen clarity that does indeed reveal their client did not rob the liquor store.

I will also add to this the techie clearing the distorted sound file. "Can you remove some of that background noise?" "I can try." Voila, they hear the sound of something that is indigenous to a specific city.

[JesseNC]

I too have a major pet peeve for images that are small like a license plate being blown up to full size without any sort of pixelation.

I hate it when people get wet and their clothes and hair are dry 2 minutes later.

I hate generic scream tracks. There's this one female track that I can pick out and I hear it a whole hell of a lot.

The Day After Tomorrow: Jesus, don't get me started.

First sequence. Yeah, he can hold on to an ICE BERG by his arms. Oh and when he slips (Far too slowly) he's got a cowboy's reaction time to pull out his trusty ice pick, which he's somehow managing to grip with thick gloves on, with one hand.

Then we have the water wall in NYC. Yeah, the freaking ocean plowing into an old library wouldn't destroy the foundation or anythig.

-150 degrees and a fireplace keeps a room warm. Wait, don't fireplaces have drafts?

Old payphone working under water. Riiight.

Cell phones working after the wall of water incident.

The cargo ship floating through the city. Those things require so much ballast, the whole library would be underwater and then some before a ship could casually stroll through.

Now for Armageddon. I don't think a gun would fire in space. Key word: fire.

Made in Taiwan method rules, but I don't see it working on a spaceship.

I'm sure the crash landing didn't damage the panels on the outside of the ship. Oh, nor did it damage the heat shield on its nose dive into spike land. It was fine for reentry, really.

Michael Clark Duncan can go to space but Justin Timberlake can't.

Independence Day:

Jeff Goldblum finding a pattern in a satellite signal before anyone else. Being able to tap into this signal on an iBook.

Jeff Goldblum knowing exactly where his wife is in the Whitehouse by triangulating a signal with one point of reference.

Jeff Goldblum writing a computer virus that works on Alien technology, that he sends over a network that is somehow compatible with his iBook.

Will Smith's girlfriend escapes wall of fire by sitting inside a doorway in a tunnel.

30 second timer on nuclear weapon. Why not 60 or 120? How's an alien going to disarm it?

No bullet proof glass in super violent alien observation room. Alien not realizing it could break through the glass using one of the corpses. Alien only giving Bill Paxton a headache.. Oh, and the evil genius plan to destroy the earth's resources through consumption.

Firing little missles at a 15 mile wide object. It's almost like throwing stones at the ground and then wondering why the ground isn't being destroyed yet.

That is all.

However, I thoroughly liked all three movies. They're just filled with little unconscious "Ugh" moments.

[zz9]

Independence Day really bugged me. The whole plot hinged on the aliens using OUR satellites to co-ordinate their attack. Ther're a super advanced race who have crossed the vast reaches of space but they are incapable of synchronising watches. The have to use OUR satellites. By transmitting a countdown.

Imagine the Japanese in WWII transmitting "One day, nineteen hours seven minutes and forty seconds until we attack Pearl Harbour. One day, nineteen hours seven minutes and twenty seconds until we attack Pearl Harbour.One day, nineteen hours seven minutes exactly until we attack Pearl Harbour. One day..." at maximum strength across the Pacific and just hoping we didn't work out what it meant.

[AaronB]

"Now for Armageddon. I don't think a gun would fire in space. Key word: fire."

Actually, it probably would. Both the primer and the propellant are a mixture of fuel and oxidizer, so no ambient oxygen is necessary.

[Biohazard]

Does anyone else hate the line "It has begun"?

[whitenavel]

When a woman keeps her shirt on during a sex scene.

[JesseNC]

When a woman keeps her shirt on during a sex scene.

That's not very abnormal depending on the length of the relationship. First time, yeah, that could be weird because half of the guys interest is seeing the boobies for the first time.

After 3-4 years of getting down, you start to remain more and more clothed.

[Cheese]

Great one! You can't go a week without watching TV or a movie where the lead in the scene is standing over the shoulder of a techie and utters the oft repeated words "Can you enhance that image?"

Then through a series of clicks and mouse drags, Voila!, perfect screen clarity that does indeed reveal their client did not rob the liquor store.

I will also add to this the techie clearing the distorted sound file. "Can you remove some of that background noise?" "I can try." Voila, they hear the sound of something that is indigenous to a specific city.


True story. I worked at a small production house a few years ago, and a guy from the FBI came in with a security camera tape (VHS, mind you) that he wanted to pull a still from. Once I digitized the footage and isolated the frame with the clearest shot of the suspect, he said, "Great. Now, can you enhance that for me?"

From the F-freakin'-B-I.

[Big Adam]

True story. I worked at a small production house a few years ago, and a guy from the FBI came in with a security camera tape (VHS, mind you) that he wanted to pull a still from. Once I digitized the footage and isolated the frame with the clearest shot of the suspect, he said, "Great. Now, can you enhance that for me?"

From the F-freakin'-B-I.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you? That's a great story!

[TwoBitHack]

Eastern European locations.

It seems like 90% of the DTV stuff is shot there.

[zz9]

Once I digitized the footage and isolated the frame with the clearest shot of the suspect, he said, "Great. Now, can you enhance that for me?"
I would have grabbed one of the pictures on the "Bert Is Evil" site and given that to him.

[whitenavel]

That's not very abnormal depending on the length of the relationship. First time, yeah, that could be weird because half of the guys interest is seeing the boobies for the first time.

After 3-4 years of getting down, you start to remain more and more clothed.


Hmm, sorry to hear that Jesse. My ex and I were in the long long term relationship and get butt as$ naked every time we did it. And that's how it should be in the movies.

[sasqits]

During a shoot out between a bunch of bad guys and one good guy - the good guy doesn't get hit but he hits all the bad guys - while never having to reload his gun, yet he's able to hit the bad guys while they reload.

An unarmed good guy takes out an armed bad guy and continues on knowing he'll have to face more armed baddies, but he doesn't stop to pick up the gun of the guy he just took out.

People in horror movies who trip while running from the bad guy and then aren't able, or take forever, to get back up. They deserve to die.

[greyghost]

Someone who hears a noise in a darkened house and wanders around in fear looking for the source of the noise but never turns on a light.

[Hairy Lime]

One pet peeve is when a hidden bomb or bug has a FLASHING RED light on it - despite the fact that it's meant to be hidden.

The sad thing about this pet peeve is that I found myself doing exactly the same thing in a script, because I couldn't figure out a more elegant way to draw the audience's attention to it.

Very sad.You could make it tick.

[zz9]

An unarmed good guy takes out an armed bad guy and continues on knowing he'll have to face more armed baddies, but he doesn't stop to pick up the gun of the guy he just took out.
When the hero is breaking into the fortress/factory/mansion full of bad guys he sneaks through the fence, sneaks up some steps, hides from guards, sneaks up to a door, and then, very loudly cocks his gun. NOW YOU DO THAT? What if you were attacked before? Wouldn't it make sense to have done that BEFORE you put yourself in danger?

People who are being shot at taking 'cover' behind car doors, wooden walls, etc. Rounds from any half decent weapon will go through these things, and then them, like butter.I recently saw Broken Arrow where army guys in a helicopter are shooting at Travolta in a boxcar and he takes cover behind the side of the boxcar! I could throw a donut hard enough to go through that!

People following other people in cars and never being spotted. There was aTV series in the UK ten years ago where the detective had a bright red 1930s open top car. He could follow people for miles, about fifty yards behind them, and not once did anyone look in their mirror and wonder why that funny little car has been behind him for the last twenty minutes.

[Cheese]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you? That's a great story!

I tried to explain how it doesn't work that way, but all I got was a blank stare. I ended up running the still through the "Sharpen" filter in Photoshop.

You'd be surprised at how many very intelligent people I run into that just assume there's an "Enlarge and Enhance" function in most video editing software.


But in the FBI's defense, how hard must it be for law enforcement personnel to watch bad guys get blown off their feet by the force of a single bullet?

[Biohazard]

People following other people in cars and never being spotted. There was aTV series in the UK ten years ago where the detective had a bright red 1930s open top car. He could follow people for miles, about fifty yards behind them, and not once did anyone look in their mirror and wonder why that funny little car has been behind him for the last twenty minutes.

Yeah, I get paranoid just driving 8 minutes from work to my house at the end of the night.

I did find a good way of ditching people who might be following you. Drive slowly up to a green light, wait for it to turn yellow, and when it turns red, go through at the last second. I did this a few times but I'm pretty sure now that nobody was really following me.

[English Dave]

People following other people in cars and never being spotted. There was aTV series in the UK ten years ago where the detective had a bright red 1930s open top car. He could follow people for miles, about fifty yards behind them, and not once did anyone look in their mirror and wonder why that funny little car has been behind him for the last twenty minutes.

Bergerac! I know! And on Jersey where every cop is on nodding terms with the whole island anyway. You could see the ''let's give him a gimmick'' conversation.

Like Sonny in Miami Vice living on a yacht and having a pet alligator. Thank God that got ditched pdq.

[Fortean]

overdone lightning, and the use of the same thunder sound effect every movie in history has used. listen for it, i swear hollywood has just one thunder wav in its entire sound effect libraryHere's why. (http://hollywoodlostandfound.net/sound/castlethunder.html)

In foreign lands, away from the beaten track, natives easily understand English, (only needing a little bit of prompting, by slowly shouting English at them), seldom make syntax errors, and sound like Americans using phony accents.

People, who are shot by guns or hit by an exploding object, tend to die immediately after grasping their stomach, chest, or head, (and, maybe leaping thru windows and into the open), and seldom suffer gaping wounds, scream in agony ceaselessly, or struggle to get under cover away from more gunfire.

Tho toilets and outhouses are now seen, (and used), but, I've not yet seen a film in which an "adult woman" agonizes and loudly protests that she desperately needs a "toilet" to go "pee," "now!" Like, this hasn't happened to anyone here, (usually, after they've left the bar that's closed its doors, the theatre that's shut down, or exiting the gas station back onto the interstate highway), and no "toilet" anyplace to be found?

[English Dave]

Women don't pee in movies. That is a rule! [Okay The Full Monty but that was integral]:rolling:

Come to think of it, outside of a farrely brothers we don't see men pee all that often. But there you go - why let reality intrude on a good fantasy?

As an old ''soap'' producer once said to me - 'we don't do toilets'.....

[bwdial]

John Woo's Windtalkers.
That movie, pretty much singlehandedly, contained every pet peeve I have in a neat and tidy package.
-Full auto, from the hip shootouts that manage to bring down all of the bad-guys, even when they have the protag surrounded.
-Someone getting shot with a Garand M-1 appearing to have been strafed by a P-38. I'm no CSI...but I'm pretty sure the dirt around the victims feet would be largely undisturded by a shot to the chest.
-Tanks that burst into flames and burn like wooden wagons, full of rags soaked in gasoline. I'm pretty sure Sherman tanks were made from a metal other than magnesium.
-Flat, stereotypical redneck characters that only see the value in someone's life when they are saved by that person.
-Flat, stereotypical love interests that appear for no reason.
-Flat, stereotypical "heroes" who get drunk and spit on their own heroism.
-Flat, stereotypical minorities who bear no resentment toward anyone.
-Christian Slater.

[RBoss]

-when someone uses an empty gun (with the action back) to threaten someone else

-improper use of slow motion (see: John Woo)

-actors that can't cry but try to anyway

-the fact that all bedsheets always come up to a woman's armpits but only come up to a guy's waist

[prescribe22]

Like Sonny in Miami Vice living on a yacht and having a pet alligator. Thank God that got ditched pdq.

That was Elvis, man! He was supposed to be the former mascott for the University of Florida where Sonny had been a WR. As the story went, he bit a Georgia player and was Sonny saved him from becoming a pair of boots.

[The White Album]

For those who complained about bad lighting and sound in movies -- yes, this certainly does happen -- but more often than not, those are actually the fault of the theatres you're seeing the movies in. Too many theatres do not change the bulb in the projectors often enough (a common exercise in cost cutting), thus projecting a dim image that may seem like bad lighting. Plus, a lot of theatres don't equalize the sound on their system, like the front speakers are on too low while the surround speakers are way up -- thus making the dialogue barely audible over the background noises. Or the theatre simply has an old sound system that plays like sh-t.

[bwdial]

That was Elvis, man! He was supposed to be the former mascott for the University of Florida where Sonny had been a WR. As the story went, he bit a Georgia player and was Sonny saved him from becoming a pair of boots.



Biting a Georgia player would not carry that stiff a penalty. ;)

[English Dave]

Donning my Mr Angry hat. Do the chicago bears have a real bear loping around the players area? Do the Atlanta falcons have vicious birds of prey hovering overhead? Do the Miami Dolphins have crazed dolphins with ray gun attachments patrolling the end zone. No!

Therefore I find it hard to believe that Miami State would allow an alligator to bite a player. This lunatic piece of back story totally debunked the otherwise excellent work Crockett and Tubbs were doing in both boosting pastel as acceptable mens wear and giving us the rolled up jacket sleeves and no socks look.

[prescribe22]

English:

First, there is no Miami State. It was the University of Florida. Their mascott is a Gator (although they don't have a live Gator roaming around on the sidelines).

That said, LSU does have a real Tiger as a Macott.

And Auburn University does have a real Eagle that does some pre-game flight around the stadium.

But the best example is the University of Georgia. They have have a nasty little bulldog named UGA that did in fact take a vicous snap at an Auburn player. http://www.beussery.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/auburnugaphoto.jpg

:D

[English Dave]

English:

http://www.beussery.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/auburnugaphoto.jpg

:D

Key word!

I'm still trying to figure out why your NFL guys take to the field like a bunch of overstuffed hell's angels with more padding that Kiera Knightly's bra and our brave rugby boys wear nothing but a gum shield and a vacant look. :)

[prescribe22]

I'm still trying to figure out why your NFL guys take to the field like a bunch of overstuffed hell's angels with more padding that Keira Knightly's bra

To protect them from the opposing team's mascotts of course.;)

[English Dave]

To protect them from the opposing team's mascotts of course.;)

Suddenly it makes sense. I withdraw my earlier comment.:rolling:

[bwdial]

Key word!

I'm still trying to figure out why your NFL guys take to the field like a bunch of overstuffed hell's angels with more padding that Kiera Knightly's bra and our brave rugby boys wear nothing but a gum shield and a vacant look. :)

Normally, I would take umbrage with your remark about our brand of football, but your insult of Keira Knightley's breasticles require that I challenge you to a duel.
Pistols at dawn!
:p

[NoTalentAssClown]

Our football players wear pads because we're bigger, stronger, and we hit harder.

[WordzNPicturez]

Our football players wear pads because we're bigger, stronger, and we hit harder.

That's their excuse and they're sticking by it. :p

[Cheese]

Key word!

I'm still trying to figure out why your NFL guys take to the field like a bunch of overstuffed hell's angels with more padding that Kiera Knightly's bra and our brave rugby boys wear nothing but a gum shield and a vacant look. :)

Yeah, that vacant look? Seems like a pretty strong argument for pads, my friend.

[AaronB]

Mmm, Kiera Knightly...

[Pencey]

Pipe named some good ones. What really bothers me about these kinds of contrivances and inexplicable circumstances is that it DOESN'T bother other people. That just perpertuates the laziness of future writers who don't feel they need to be clever anymore...that anyone will put up with illogical crap.

I blame Speed and that ridiculous "freeway-jumping bus" scene for all that's come after...

[BottomlessCup]

*Long, flashy CGI credit sequences ala Spiderman. They bore the piss out of me. Credits belong at the end of the film. Period.

*Gratuitous non-nudity. Like background strippers with clothes on. Or women engaged in vigorous sex with their panties still on.

*The lack of swears where they belong. I don't care if it is PG; high-school bullies don't call you a "freakin' doofus" or threaten to "kick your butt." Etc.

*Any scenario whereby a protagonist survives a simultaneous attack by more than about six foes. Missile, melee, whatever. Bullsh*t.

*Quirk for quirk's sake.

*Style over substance.

*Jokes that were in the trailer. You've heard/seen it like five times, so it's not really funny anymore. But you thought it was really funny the first time, so you kinda feel obligated to laugh in the theater. Sucks.

*Characters smoking in the third act. Not because I'm against smoking. It just reminds me it's been an hour and a half since I had one.

[vanpet]

*Jokes that were in the trailer. You've heard/seen it like five times, so it's not really funny anymore. But you thought it was really funny the first time, so you kinda feel obligated to laugh in the theater. Sucks.

>> yeah it's true. they should make jokes in the trailer that are NOT in the movie...

[Cheese]

>> yeah it's true. they should make jokes in the trailer that are NOT in the movie...

At the risk of opening myself up for loads of criticism, does anyone remember "Spaced Invaders" from sometime in the mid-80's? I distinctly remember the trailer being full of one-liners that were never in the feature.

[tabula rasa]

Well, I've never been shot? But I'm pretty suspicious of heroes who are shot through the shoulder, then proceed to throw punches, run, pull the dangling babe back up onto the ledge, etc. Adrenalin is a good pain-eraser for a few minutes maybe ... but if you're shot and bleeding and then you run and jump and fight ... as long as your heart's pumping your blood is pumping OUT etc.

I liked DIE HARD for Bruce Willis at least showing that he's progressively more beat-to-hell and running on empty (even if, yes, he keeps kicking ass vs the villians)

And then there's the old saying re screen nudity: if you can't do the skin, don't do the role. I've seen stars avoid nudity (artfully) where lesser actors would've been nekkid, that's okay; but when the story suffers or the pacing suffers or the characterization suffers because of false modesty ... whazzup wi'dat?

The film experience is to touch you and move you: SCARE ya or THRILL ya or BREAK YER HEART or MAKE YA LAUGH or ... yes, TURN YA ON.

'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' as the story goes. Make it play real.

[Ravenlocks]

At the risk of opening myself up for loads of criticism, does anyone remember "Spaced Invaders" from sometime in the mid-80's? I distinctly remember the trailer being full of one-liners that were never in the feature.
I don't remember Spaced Invaders, but the trailer for October Sky (whenever that came out; it was ages ago) had four scenes that weren't in the final cut of the film. That must've irked me since I still remember it.