Clear but off screen characters

[ulillillia]

Okay, I've done a lot of research in getting 95% of my questions answered, found a plug-in for Word to help format my script (and I like the format better than what I used to have) and I have two new questions:

1. The main bad guy, Seth King (aka Dark King as from what he does), is from another time and not on screen until very late in the story. He but speaks clearly but off screen. Do I have to add the (O.S) technical instruction every time Seth King speaks?

2. When one of the two aliens puts a character in their chest, making them compress to nothing (as atoms are mostly empty space), do I have to have the (O.S.) technical instruction every time here as well?

Seth King and anyone in Knuckles' or Speed's chest speak very clearly, but are off screen. Any special notes I need to add? Thanks.

[Keith Kocaine]

Yeah, I remember you. You ask a lot of questions. Will yuh post a logline? I'm curious what this story is all about.

1. Every time Seth King speaks and he's off screen you must add (OS)

2. If a character is in some kinda contraption, say a car, and speaks but you don't see him, then you add (OS) after the character name.

No need to add any special notes.

[ulillillia]

I've done a lot of research to getting most of my questions answered. I'm now to about where scene 23 from my old versions would've started, which is the climax of the story (the end of act 2) the battle between the heroes, Knuckles and Speed in particular, and the Dark King, the villain.

1. I kind of thought so. Off screen mean, well, off screen not visible in the camera view.

2. This is the one I was most uncertain about. Technically, he *would* be onscreen but so small you can't see them and if you can't see them, they'd generally be off screen, so I see the point.

These just happened to be odd balls that I couldn't get help from from my research and, the biggest source, the help file that came with the formatter plug-in.

A short log line of my story would be something like this:

A mysterious hypernatural evil force causes turmoil all over the world and Knuckles saves the world while making 3 normal humans become supernatural.

[Keith Kocaine]

A mysterious hypernatural evil force causes turmoil all over the world and Knuckles saves the world while making 3 normal humans become supernatural.

*LOL* I like it. I'd love to read a page from your script. If you don't want to post it publically, you could send it to me in a PM. Don't worry about format. That might get messed up by copying and pasting into a PM. I'll give you my feedback on it if you take me up on this. Thanks.

[ulillillia]

Here's what I used to call the first scene in my script as it's the first event: Some things may need to be fixed, however as this part was done without the formatter. Actions take up 9 lines (one set takes more than 15), so I need to bring those down to 5 maximum (as from the help file of the formatter).

Edit: If you'd like to get to the end of what I used to call the first act (there were 8 acts in all), and the first act is almost the same as the first act in the correct format. Go here (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/ulillillia/stories/10elementalmasters/scriptpreviewhome.html) and read the first act past here. It's not in the correct format, but fairly close.

Also, I've created a story board for the script using MSPaint and lots of math formulas (for color calculations). You can see the story board here (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/ulillillia/stories/10elementalmasters/storyboardhome.html) with captions included [I have made it out to scene 10] . That large image at the top of the page is a suggestion for the logo, which shows of a scene in scene 7, which is currently unavailable for public viewing. It shows of the Master Laqualent and the team on a platform with some effects added to it: levitate and defense up. It, too, was created in MSPaint with lots of math formulas (for realism and realistic spacing and perspective). What do you think about the logo?


ACT ONE

EXT. – SOUTH OF MINOT, ND – DAY - TRAVELING

Knuckles glides about 800 feet above highway 83 heading due north about 25 miles south of Minot. There are a few clouds, a 15-mile visibility and a storm forming to the southwest. A few spots of piled up snow line the fields.

40 seconds of silence while the credits roll and theme music plays

KNUCKLES (V.O.)
Hi. I’m Knuckles. That’s me you see gliding at 800 m-p-h. This was the story of my life time and I’ll never forget it! It all started peacefully just as I got used to Earth letting everyone know me well enough. I come from Korona, a huge planet far larger than Earth’s Sun and I’ve been on Earth since June 13, 1996, my 312th Earth-based calculated birthday. When May 27th of the year 1999 started, I saw the strange events start and at 11:07 AM, I got a bad feeling from Minot Air Force Base. It was 45 hours, 33 minutes to the big event I was sensing since 1996.

The city of Minot, population of 44,000, comes recognizably into view.

KNUCKLES
It’s 11:12 AM here and I’m about fifteen miles south of the Air Force Base near Minot, North Dakota of the USA. I’m getting some bad feelings of something over there aside one from in Minot. Ya know, I’ve always wanted to make normal humans become supernatural. Maybe I’ll make 3 become supernatural. I can sense where two of them are now, maybe I’ll pick them up after I clear this problem I’m sensing. I’ll equip some extra glides to distribute them to them. Basically, all I can do is give them abilities that don’t take many ability points to learn. One dot one sextillion ability points isn’t much of anything to me at all, whereas it’s a huge amount to puny humans. I should be getting pretty close by now.
(two-second pause)
Uh oh! Someone will break out of jail! I gotta hurry! Going my maximum of 800 m-p-h ain’t bad, though, unlike the cars down below going only 55. I wonder why I can’t seem to pass 800 while gliding, no matter what I do! If I want to go faster, I’ll have to cast a teleport spell.

Knuckles turns right slightly to line up with the road way following curves. He drops out of the glide and falls to the ground accelerating constantly without drag. Upon landing, he slides his feet along the ground decelerating at 100 mph per second swerving around cars to avoid hitting them.

KNUCKLES
Good timing!

Knuckles fully stops in front of the Minimall.

CUT TO:


EXT. – MINOT AFB NEAR MINIMALL - CONTINUOUS

He searches his surroundings then a three-second pause occurs. Knuckles jumps onto the roof of the Minimall.
KNUCKLES
(while jumping)
All right, he’ll arrive here and very soon.
Knuckles sits on the edge of the roof with his feet hanging over the edge. Knuckles waits.

KNUCKLES
Current distance of fourteen hundred fifty feet at a bearing of 14 degrees....

CUT TO:


LATER IN THE DAY

An ESCAPEE from jail is spotted by Knuckles heading toward a CAR in the parking lot near the Minimall. The escapee, in his mid-30’s, is unarmed and in normal prisoner clothes.

KNUCKLES
(jumps off the roof)
Ah, I see him!

When Knuckles lands, he makes a fist so that the fingers cross between the other fingers and brings this fist up to his forehead.

When the fist touches the forehead, a half-transparent, yellow-green, (70C040), circular light band appears around him for 2 seconds while holding his arms up to his forehead.

When the yellow-green glow appears, a banner appears at the bottom of the screen centered saying “vanish”, the name of the spell being cast. The text is white and the banner is a half-transparent 008000 color, which stays on for 3 seconds. The light disappears about the same time the banner does.

Knuckles drops his left arm so it hangs then brings his right arm back so the elbow pokes behind him then jerks it forward with the palm sticking out ahead while stepping forward with his right foot. A diagram of this is found in the image database in the appendix at figure ################.

KNUCKLES
(with emphasis)
Now to take him back to where he belongs!

The escapee finds the perfect car. An AIR FORCE MAN, in his mid-20’s sees the jail escapee.

AIR FORCE MAN
(loudly)
Help!

KNUCKLES
You better stop right now and go back to your jail cell where you belong!

ESCAPEE
(scared)
Who said that!?

The escapee punches the car window. A bright red (color of FF8080) 2891 pops out from the window bouncing like a ball three times then fades away in a tenth of a second. All popup numbers are bold and about 4 inches high. The bouncing lasts for about 1.1 seconds.

Knuckles picks up the crook, runs to the Minimall at 15 mph, then jumps onto the roof carrying the crook all along.

ESCAPEE
(while carried by Knuckles scared)
Huh!? Somehow I’m floating in the air!

KNUCKLES
I got you! First, to take care of you....
Knuckles casts teleport in the same fashion as he casted vanish. When Knuckles jerks his hand forward, the crook disappears in an instant.

CUT TO:


JAIL CELL WITH CROOK INSIDE IT BEHIND BARS – SAME TIME

CUT TO:


ROOF OF MINIMALL BUILDING – SAME TIME

Knuckles fades back onto the view in 1.5 seconds. He jumps down from the roof and runs toward the car with the broken window at 20 mph stopping by the Air Force man’s car.

KNUCKLES
(excited)
That was too easy! Now to fix the broken window the cheapest way, a cure spell.

Knuckles casts cure in the same way as before. When Knuckles jerks his hand forward, a white sparkle, as bright as a 15-watt light bulb, appears going in two complete spirals from the bottom up. At the top, the sparkle heads toward the center of the window, grows, then fades away shrinking.

When the sparkle disappears, the window’s cracks disappear the same time a bright green (color of 80FF80) 3488 appears. The green numbers rise at a constant rate of 8 inches per second for 1.1 seconds and the same font as the red ones.

AIR FORCE MAN
(very happily)
Thanks! How did you fix my window so quickly and with with the green number I saw? What happened to that guy?

KNUCKLES
I fixed the window by casting a cure spell. The green number indicates how many hit points were restored. As for the bad guy
(one-second pause)
I made him warp to jail so he can’t break out again. Sorry, but I gotta go. I came here because I was sensing something and I guess it wasn’t as bad as I thought. My next destination is Erik Ramstad Middle School of Minot, south of here. Bye!

Knuckles jumps 91 2/3 feet in the air (he jumps starting at 50 mph decelerating at 20 mph). While going up, he gets into a squatting position.

Near the top of the jump, Knuckles jumps again as if on something solid and springs up another 91 2/3 feet. At the top of this jump, Knuckles lowers both of his arms so his elbows point straight down then jerks both arms up. This creates a sudden, white flash that fills the screen.

At the top of this jump, Knuckles starts to glide due south. While gliding, he accelerates at a constant rate of 5 mph per second forward and goes down at a constant rate of 2 feet per second.

Two seconds into the glide, text appears at the bottom left corner of the screen saying “11:18 AM Central Time – 45 hours 27 minutes remaining” stretching 3/4 the way across the screen in an even-width font (like Courier).

[Keith Kocaine]

Amazing. I can't quite decide if this is the work of a genius or a madman. Thanks for posting the page.

There's a lot of technical stuff which needs work. But overall it reads very much like something from Ed Wood. The man behind Plan 9 From Outer Space.

I've been spending some time reading your links. I'm unable to determine if you intend this s/p to be a live-action feature or animation.

Your logo is fine for now. The main thing is to concentrate on the story.

[ulillillia]

I'd prefer it to be computer animated, but I doubt I have any say on how it is done. I just hope it doesn't end up as a series of drawings. The script itself, now that I've finished the reformatting, happens to be 322 pages. Yeah, I know that's long, it may end up being broken apart into a trilogy or something as with The Matrix (as far as I've heard, I've only seen about 5 minutes of that movie total).

[Keith Kocaine]

The dialogue is charming. Don't worry about the 322-pg length. If I was co-writing this with you, I'd mainly change the descriptive action lines. This would reduce the page count by at least 50%.

For future reference, when writing you need not concern yourself with color codes or mathematical calculations. In any case, one can't accelerate at the rate of 5 mph. That's a velocity.

[ulillillia]

As long as the values are close, that's all I care for. Sure, have 780 mph (slow motion recording of 100 mph for example) or 820, as the human eye can't detect much of a difference between 780 and 800. Picture 800 randomly placed dots. Now picture an identical image to the right but having only 780 dots and different from the one on the left. The human eye can't tell much of any difference.

Now, imagine you're going this fast and you go down at 2 feet per second. For quite some time, you can't tell if you're going down or not especially at the high speed of 800 mph and with random height changes of the terrain. The colors are in the same way. Because I only know the name of about 20 colors, maybe just a bit more, I use numbers to help get some greater accuracy. Red is FF0000, light red is FF8000 dark red is 800000. There's quite a difference between FF0000 and 800000, so I wouldn't care too much if it was changed by 16 units (from FF0000 to EF0000) as the human eye can't tell that much of a difference. All colors I have are rounded to the nearest 16.

As far as the "can't accelerate at 5 mph", I may have just forgotten to put a "per second" after the end. I still need to edit my script for bugs like this.

[cynicide]

ulillillia said
As far as the "can't accelerate at 5 mph", I may have just forgotten to put a "per second" after the end. I still need to edit my script for bugs like this.

Yeah, that's what you need to edit...

I HIGHLY suggest reading other sci-fi screenplays before continuing with this one. I promise they're not as dense as what you posted. No one knows what color red FF80000 is. No one. No one can look at something red and say, hey that's FF80000. So read screenplays, read screenplay books, and don't think that any studio is going to say, sure, we'll do a trilogy, mr. unknown screenwriter.

Good luck.