Another montage question

[Gr8WhiteNorth]

How would you describe a surgery scene in combination with a voice over coming from one of the doctors?

For instance,

Montage - George's surgery

George lies unconscious on the table. A surgeon begins to cut through his flesh with a scalpel...

Doctor (VO)
We begin the procedure....

The doctor begins to remove a portion of his pancreas....

Doctor (VO)
Once we take out the.....

Etc...

Is this correct or is there a better way of writing it out?

[Deus Ex Machine]

why do you need to label it a montage? If the doctor is in the room talking it isn't VO.

INT. OPERATING ROOM - NIGHT

The Surgeon cuts open the patient's chest.

................SURGEON
...So I was snorting coke last
...night with this chick from the bar
...and woke up in bed with her.

The surgeon exposes the kidney.

..............SURGEON
...And when I peeked under the sheet
...I saw she had a penis.

The surgeon removes the Kidney.

.............SURGEON
....There we go.
..........(apraises the Kidney)
....Hmm. This kidney looks pink and healthy.
....Why did they want it taken out?

............NURSE
....They didn't. You were supposed to
....remove his tonsils.

............SURGEON
....Not again. How many time's
....is that? Three?

The Surgeon reattaches the kidney.

............NURSE
....Fourteen.

[Gr8WhiteNorth]

Deus, your response was hilarious!

What I ment was, I basically only want to portray the most important events of the surgery. For example,

Montage - Buddy's surgery

Buddy's unconscious on the table. The doctor begins to cut him open.

Doctor (VO)
We will remove his pancreas cause it's falling apart...

The doctor finds it and pulls it out....

Doctor (VO)
As you can see, this man ate too much grease....

The doctor places a prosthetic pancreas back inside...

Doctor (VO)
This 'new and improved' pancreas will let him eat McDonalds every day for the rest of his life. Alright, close him up.

End of montage.

Although the procedure itself is really long, we only see the important aspects of the surgery. The doctor explains the important parts that we need to know = VO.

Does that make more sense?

[pantalone]

What makes this a montage? I think you are thinking more about time compression. A real life operation can take hours. I only watch that channel when I am super-stoned on painkillers. Do you want to compress all the nasty steps of the surgery into pictures on the screen? Now, even if the doctor is only telling the surgery students about the wonders of the plastic pancreas (It's recyclable!) and throwing useless organs around like monkey's flinging poo, then that is all I need. If I was directing it and I wanted to show these quarter page over 5 minutes, then I'd grab my OR nurse friend and get specifics.

As far as demonstrating the time issue, if it is really important, please feel free be a bit expository and tell the a patient the process takes 3 hours, and he'll be up and around in two days. With a cute scar.

[Deus Ex Machine]

It still doesn't sound like a montage. The compression you used is the same time compression in my example. I'm still not clear if the doc in the scene is talking or not, if he is talking in the scene then it isn't VO.

[stevhal]

If the doctor was reminiscing about the operation then it would be VO, but it doesn't sound like that's what you are trying to do.

Maybe you could show a lengthy time exposure by the tried and tested clock-on-the-wall cut aways?? A little over used, but does the trick.

When I'm writing first drafts,(and I guess this is still a one-er!!), I will go for the quick fix now so I can carry on with the script. Generally, by the time I've finished, the scene will change anyway, or a clearer way to show the scene will present itself. Maybe the time aspect will become less important, or you will discover a killer way to show this scene. I'd move on with the story, and fix issues like this in re-writes.

Good luck!!