Too many phone conversations?

[CT in ATL]

I'm working with a Protag and her sidekick/best friend and they have to talk a lot, but they can't possibly live together - she makes WAY more money than he (as something of a celebrity) so I can't have them in the same building to discuss their ongoing problem. They do collaborate professionally, but he has an office in the city and she works at (her posh) home.

So I've had to put a lot of phone conversations in the script - as well as phone conversations with the nemesis(s) on the other coast (that one has to happen till the heroine travels). I do have him and her meeting at the office and various restaurants - even once in the park - and at her house several time too. But I can't help thinking I've got way too many phone calls. They are very short scenes - maybe a page - and propell the plot forward (set up the next scene) quite nicely.

My question: Does it scream "amateur" to have a lot of two-sided (we cut back and forth to see both characters) phone conversations in a script? Or should I change most of those phone calls to having (at least the two main characters) meet in person for the exposition?

Thanks.

[Salazkin]

I'm no expert, but since no one else is weighing in -- phone conversations are pretty bland by nature; drama-killers, if you will. Reduce their number to the extent possible (I don't know how many you have, but say, for argument's sake, you shoot for reducing the phone conversation screen time by two thirds). Be creative in bringing the geographically distant parties together or consider ways to convey the information without dialogue (thus eliminating the conversation altogether). If, for a particular scene or exchange, you absolutely can do neither, then keep the phone conversation. But by combining these methods, you may be able to reduce the screen time devoted to phone conversations and replace it with action or more colorful face-to-face exchanges.

My two cents.

[Winter in New York]

You might like to have a look at the original script of 'She's Got Mail' to see how Tom and Meg's two sided internet chat was handled on screen. May spark some ideas for you.

Winter in New York

[noh1]

You know, phone conversations are very static. VERY static. Even with cutting back from person A to person B.

IF you HAVE to put them in your script, then treat it like a dinner scene. Have the people doing something interesting while they're talking.

Like, getting dressed. Cooking. Something.


However, I would really try to cut as many of them OUT of your script as possible, if at all possible. Outside of a couple of movies, you don't see very long phone scenes. They are always short, and to the point. Ask youself, why would that be?

[pantalone]

The phone has always been a great gimmick. Dial M for Murder, Scream, any cop film with tapped lines, ransom movies, the up-coming Cellular. I like when the phone represents something else, like safety or escape in The Panic Room. But simply as a means of facilitating conversation it is pretty dull.

Rhett
Frankly my dear, I don't - hello? can you hear me now? I was saying, frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

So get the characters together. Have them do lunch. Have them in a dinner party. Have go grocery shopping. Something, even if you establish a morning coffee, afternoon tea or whatever is hip, then get them face to face.

[Deus Ex Machine]

I agree that phone conversations are very static. Thanks God for cell phones. Have them taking a bath, running in a marathon, riding a roller coaster, shopping or something interesting to watch while they talk on the phone so it isn't so static.

Also find more ways to limit the phone conversations and have them interact. You are a creative person, be creative. maybe they join a bowling league or meet in a ball room dance class and talk then.

HTH

[Ravenlocks01]

You've Got Mail often does the Internet chat/emails as VO while we watch the characters doing something more interesting.

[jimjimgrande]

i agree with the thoughts above in that phone conversations can get very static. Your characters need to be doing something.

Also, I if you're going to do it, make it into a "thing", like they constantly talk to each other on the phone - sometimes just to ask one question, then hang up - maybe give them a shorthand - and have them call at inappropriate work moments so they have to pretend it's somebody else - stuff like that - make it fun and funny. If you're going to use it go all the way.

on second thought - disregard my advice completely - i just thought of something I'm working on where I can use what I just said.

It's bad advice - do not heed it.

[wcmartell]

Others have weighed in on the static/visual consideration, so let me poke you with a pointy stick over the dramatic elements.

Phone conversations are like full body condoms. You take two people in a dramatic situation, and you put them in different rooms? That's a drama killer.

A couple of things to consider:

1) Is there any way to replace the phone conversations with face-to-face conversations?

2) Why did you come up with a story with phone conversations in the first place? Why are you avoiding the drama? Hey, I'm not saying it's easy to reveal emotions on the page - we both know where those emotions are coming from (we are our own characters) - but that's part of the job. So close your eyes, grit your teeth, and jump into all of those painful, messy, emotions. Find the story that puts your characters together so that their emotions boil over and explode into drama. Get those folks off the phone and right in each other's faces.

- Bill

[CT in ATL]

You've *all* given me good ideas - thank you! Now I can think of more ways to get them face-to-face or do something while on the phone. Again, your creative brains have given me a lot more ideas of ways to go. So thanks.

[pantalone]

I wanna second what martell said. Having a character make pasta while she's on the phone does not make it visually appealing. Unless of course this is a food movie like Like Water For Chocolate.

Everybody talks on the phone these days. Which, in my mind makes it better for farce than for a dramatic instrument. I mean, for chrissakes, people talk on the phone in public restrooms!