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Copywriter2
10-05-2005, 12:17 PM
I've been writing for many years and was just thinking about all of the flakes I've encountered along the way. A few of the biggest flakes:

1. A producer who requested one of my scripts via one of those email blasts. He read the script, then called to say he loved it -- and he wanted a free option. He said he was the founding partner in a very big Hollywood production company, but was now going out on his own. And he said he had $140 million in funding from studios and other investors. I checked him out on IMDB and he did have a couple of credits -- but for small indie type films. I asked him about this and he said most of his credits aren't listed because he was a "behind the scenes guy" who put the financing together. Being naive, I bought into his story. I gave him the free option, then spent the next year doing free rewrites.
All along the way, he kept guaranteeing that it would be produced either via stuidio or his own financing. In the end, of course, nothing happened. Turns out this guy was a total flake. A friend of mine picked up a bunch of my scripts from him and said he works out of a real dumpy apartment -- although it was in Hollywood. Hundreds of hours of rewriting for nothing. LESSON LEARNED: If they aren't going to pay you legit money for an option, don't take it. And don't be so eager to work for someone who claims they are a real producer. Ask plenty of questions and be sure you're completely satisified with the answers.
2. An agent at a very well respected (medium sized) literary agency loved one of my scripts. He told me that they wanted to sign me, but said that I have to come out and meet all the agents -- just as a formality. So I fly out to Los Angeles. I go to the agency and the guy meets with me for about 15 minutes. He tells me that the other agents don't have time to meet with me, but not to worry because I would still be signed. I fly back home, then get a contract in the mail, which I sign and send back. I still figure that I'm in good shape with this agency -- until a producer friend of mine calls me up and tells me that my agent was fired. I called up the agency and am told that yes, he was fired -- and all of his "clients" were released. I tried to plead my case to the owner of the agency, but she would never return my call, email or even respond by letter. I never heard of this agent again. He must have left the business. Rightly so. LESSON LEARNED: Be very careful about what you believe from agents -- unless you know for sure (maybe via google, Done Deal spec sales list, or these threads) that the agent is legit and stable.
3. Another producer optioned a script of mine -- for 2 dollars. He was going to raise the money himself and produce/direct the movie independently. He put together a business plan and had me do extensive rewrites. Then he rewote it himself -- and it sucked. He couldn't raise the money, so he used some of his own money and convinced friends of his to work on the movie on a deferred basis. Well, he shot about one fourth of the movie, then everything fell apart. I now have one fourth of a produced movie, which is awful. The guy turned out to be a terrible director -- and, of course, a horrible producer. LESSON LEARNED: Again, don't accept options that are free, or essentially free. Based on my experience, they are all flakes.

Anybody else want to share their stories about Hollywood flakes? Maybe there are newbies here who could learn from our experiences. Or maybe there are even some of you who have accepted free options that actually did turn into produced films.

roscoegino
10-08-2005, 01:45 PM
I'm glad you posted these experiences. I introduced an idea to a *producer* with supposed *connections*. He wanted me to write on spec promising that one of these big connections would hook him up with some dough to make it. Because I like to write, and because I was excited by the script's concept, I didn't see the sugar being coated. I did, however, stop short of writing the first act when he stopped short of talking money.

I would add to your advice that it would be wise not to tell certain people you write scripts. Talk about films instead. Wait until they move their chess piece. Find out what they've done and more importantly, what they're doing. Use your judgement even before a word comes out of your mouth.


and said he works out of a real dumpy apartment -- although it was in Hollywood



LOL! Like that would be a qualifier of some sort. Some parts of Hollywood look like a white man's version of Watts.

Exit Stage Right
10-08-2005, 02:16 PM
Anybody else want to share their stories about Hollywood flakes? Maybe there are newbies here who could learn from our experiences. Or maybe there are even some of you who have accepted free options that actually did turn into produced films.

Had an actor fall in love with a script of mine. He'd call every few weeks just to stay in touch. It all sounded good...for the first 6 months. When I began to push a little, I got the "I'll get with my attorney first chance I get and we'll draw up an option on it" line. Ah, huh.

Then I heard he'd just been cast in a new TV series, so I called, just to congratulate him. (Yeah, right. Where's my option contract?) Oh, he was just so busy right now, but we were going to do this, I just needed to hang in there with him.

I don't live in LA, but I got my butt out there post haste. We met for lunch. Very pleasant. (Where's my option contract?)

He got me onto the lot. Met the producer, co-stars of his new show. Got a tour of the set. Very interesting. (Where's my option contract?)

Invited me to his house for dinner, cooked it himself. Gave me a tour. (We had the exact same sectional couch. And by the way, where's my option contract?)

Sat in my hotel wondering if I should just give up and go home or not when the single most devious plan I've ever come up with began to take form. He was into the New Age/Native American thing, BIG TIME. Had a shrine of sorts set up in his house with the crystals and pyramids and sweet grass. (Talk about overkill.) Well, I just happen to be half Native American, so.....

Called the next day and told him the spirits of my grandfathers had come to me in a dream and said one who hid in the underbrush could not learn to fly and one who lived in the clouds could not learn to hunt until they found common ground, so we must meet on a high place where both could stand on the half-way ground.

He bought it. (Way too easy.)

Met at sunset (my choosing) on some hilltop (his choosing). He started in with the small talk the second he got out of his car, but wouldn't look me in the eye. So I started in on this whole parable about the fox and the hawk. (Totally made it up on the spot.)

I swear to you on my sainted mother's grave, just as I said some silly thing about if the short-sighted fox continued in his role as the great trickster, the far-sighted hawk would see greener pastures and fly away, a hawk came up out of the little valley there, banked right over the top of us and went flying off.

Totally freaked fox out. Confessed he didn't have money for option.

Hawk, thinking fox probably spent it all on fancy leather sectional couch, got on plane. Flew home.

LESSON LEARNED: A hawk may be gullible, but not as gullible as a fox. ;)

English Dave
10-08-2005, 03:01 PM
:rolling:

Love it.

I've a funny story too. I was living in London, completely skint but had LA agents. After a year rewriting a script they decided it was ready to put out. Could I come out for a few weeks? Lease was up on my house, schools were on holiday, creditors were beating down the doors. Screw it. Let's pack up and go. Moved the family to LA.

Found out when I got there my agent's had just split up. Not a good sign. Had a fight with the agent for not telling me this before I left. Got dumped.
Frantically sought new representation. Finally got hip pocketed by an agent at a major firm. Got strung along for months and then was told I was first choice for a rewrite job on a star vehicle for a well known prodco.

Couple of weeks went by. I phoned the agent. Got put through to someone who told me the guy had been fired. No explanation. Tried to ask about the rewrite job. Clunk. Phone down.

Got in touch with prodco and told them this agent guy said I was up for a rewrite job with them but I couldn't get hold of him. They asked me to come in for a meeting.

They were very nice. They explained that not only was this rewriting job fictitious, but they had been at a party a week earlier. Met another agent from said major agency and said they knew another agent there M.... S...... ''ummmmm M...S....isn't an agent, he is the receptionist.'' was the reply.

OOOOOPS

He had been stringing the prodco and several other players along as well. M.... S.... was fired, I was six months down the line on pie crust promises living on tips from a carwash.

Wait.....that wasn't very funny. :|

Copywriter2
10-08-2005, 03:24 PM
Mason, no it wasn't Peter Senese. I don't want to mention his name, but I will say that he claimed to be Madonna's founding partner in Maverick Films. He also said a lot of other things that turned out to be false.

The reason why I brought up the apartment is because he claimed to have financing for hundreds of millions already in place. And he said he would finance the film himself if the studios wouldn't. When my unemployed friend went to pick up the copies of my script from him, he went inside and said the place (his home/office) was an absolute dump. He said it was worse than his own apartment.

Just goes to show that anyone out there can claim to be a producer with money and/or contacts. We, as writers, have to make decisions on whether or not to believe them. I would say that 99.9% of the time it's total B.S. if someone asks you to write on spec (or rewrite your own work on spec) with a promise of great things down the road. This includes free options.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your stories. They're great.

billythrilly7
10-08-2005, 04:50 PM
In my old acting days, when I just began to write, I wrote low budget independent comedy scripts for me to act in.

One was very well liked, but it was a hard thing to pull off, so no one wanted to to or tried to do it, except one "producer." Some part time casting director guy who also managed etc.... One of these types.

Offered me a awful $1 option, but I said that's fine. "If you think you can pull this off, go for it. Draw up the contract, but you have to make sure the contract says 'Billy Thrilly plays role of John.'"

They said "No problem."

They fax the contract to me and it says "The Producer will make every effort to insure that Billy plays the role of John."

Ohhhh...you're gonna make EVERY EFFORT? I appreciate that. Unfortunately, that won't work for me. Goodbye.

I got a few of these stories. One already on the Warner Brothers Pitch thread.

Exit Stage Right
10-08-2005, 10:54 PM
Love it.



Yeah, well it's funny now. Wasn't so funny at the time. I suppose the real point is that like many who are dipping their toes into the HW waters for the first time, I was a little starry-eyed going in. An actor was calling me! And not some actor no one had ever heard of. This guy was well known and he was calling little nobody me! My friends were sooo impressed.

After that trip, I wasn't so starry-eyed anymore. Not only was I about ten times smarter than the guy, we had the same freaking couch! Just took all the glamour right out of it. :rolleyes:

kidcharlemagne
10-09-2005, 10:08 AM
ESR

That's a great story! You should use that somewhere in your writing.

In fact I think there's a story in there. A guy who's getting nowhere in life starts making up Native American parables which to his surprise help him get what he wants. Only later does he realize that each parable unleashes a dark, terrifying side-effect that he has no control over.

Anyway...just an idea...:)