SCREAMS

[rcdiggs]

I'm sure my easy question is answered during the first week of Screenwriting 101, but as I'm limited in time and funds, I'm relying on you. Please excuse my ignorance.

Question: How do you denote screaming in a screenplay?

In action -
The cougar SNARLS at Sarah. Sarah SCREAMS.

or in dialogue.
The cougar SNARLS at Sarah.

SARAH
AAAHHHHHH.

Thanks for your help.
rc

[PurpleCurtain]

The first way is better.

[ComicBent]

Even better:

The cougar snarls at Sarah, who responds with a scream.

[PurpleCurtain]

The cougar snarls at Sarah, who responds with a scream. I don't think that's better. Why create one long sentence burdened with a dependent clause when you can have two short, simple sentences?

It's a matter of taste, of course, but for what it's worth, I'd stick with the original poster's proposal.

Welcome aboard, rcdiggs. ;)

[refriedwhiskey]

Yeah, the original way -- two short, punchy sentences -- is better.

I think it's also worth noting that people in the real world almost never scream unless they're in tremendous pain or certain they're about to die.

[pantalone]

I think when you start discussing sentence length and dangling participles, you are crossing into the realm of style.

[PurpleCurtain]

I think when you start discussing sentence length and dangling participles, you are crossing into the realm of style. Agreed, and I wasn't trying to go there. But when someone started rewriting rc, the original poster, I figured I would chime in and let rc know that his/her original suggestion was fine...because otherwise rc might have started second-guessing EVERY sentence in his/her script, and that is something I think first-time writers shouldn't fret about until they've gotten to FADE OUT. The most important thing, especially with a first script, is just to finish.

That, I hope, is basic. :)

[Deus Ex Machine]

It's better to indicate things like screams, burps, farts and hums in narrative than in dialogue.

[pantalone]

screams, burps, farts and hums in narrative than in dialogue.

What about the transcripts for My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance?

[ComicBent]

Why create one long sentence burdened with a dependent clause when you can have two short, simple sentences?
I knew that somebody would raise that very objection.

I always encourage people to write good crisp prose, but I do not think that a dependent clause creates a problem. In fact, that is exactly the kind of thing that is taught in writing classes. It is better than the awkwardness of having the same proper noun end a sentence and begin the following one, especially when the sentences are very short anyway, as in:

The cougar snarls at Sarah. Sarah screams.

If you want to keep two sentences, at least change the latter to: "She screams."

Of course, the original issue was about capitalization. Perhaps I should have stuck to that. In fact, no capitalization is necessary. Sarah screams = Sarah SCREAMS.

But you are right. Ultimately, it is a matter of style.

[rcdiggs]

Thanks for the replies. I'd written screams in action narrative but just wanted to confirm.

Regarding capitalization of "screams" - I was working under the assumption that all sounds important to the story should be capitalized. Is this not so or is it a matter of style?

rc

[PurpleCurtain]

I was working under the assumption that all sounds important to the story should be capitalized. Is this not so or is it a matter of style?It must be a matter of style, because I always do it and apparently ComicBent never does. :)

For what it's worth, doing it won't get you into trouble, as my scripts have been read by agents, actors, producers, directors and studio execs, and nobody's ever complained about the fact that I capitalize things like "screams." People probably wouldn't complain if I didn't capitalize such things, either. My guess is it's one of the myriad things that really aren't important at the end of the day--so pick the style you like best and do your best to be consistent about it.

The most important thing is that the story is compelling and compellingly told...everything else, pretty much, is just details...

[rcdiggs]

Purple Curtain,

Thanks for the comments. You saved me some formatting time.

Caps or no caps, as long as it's consistent throughout the screenplay. Now that I've taken a breather, back to writing. Thanks gang.

rc

[ComicBent]

Indeed, it does not matter about the caps.

Now, if only I could make my internal reading voice stop SHOUTING every time someone capitalizes a word. :D

[pantalone]

I was working under the assumption that all sounds important to the story should be capitalized. Is this not so or is it a matter of style?

I'd only cap the sound effects. I think of screaming as part of the dialog. Usually.

In action -
The cougar SNARLS at Sarah. Sarah SCREAMS.

Not so much.

But if:

EXT - LA ZOO PARKING LOT - DAY
Zookeeper Dave runs through the parking lot carrying a large dart-gun. He hears a cougar SNARL and a woman SCREAM. It seems to be coming from the otherside of a Hummer.

[rcdiggs]

Comic Bent,
I get your POINT. That must be very ANNOYING. Back to reformatting. Thank God (or geeks) for the "find/replace" function.


Pantalone,

Thanks for the example. Mighty helpful.

rc