phone conversation

[cynicide]

First of all, it's always nice to find a message board that's both helpful and (mostly) civil. Thanks in advance for the help.

I'm writing a comedy and have one scene that's a fairly long phone conversation involving 4 people and 3 phones. The way I have it right now, the location bounces around from one place to antoher, because I think it's funnier that way. Without changing to location, I don't think it would read right. I'm also not using full slugs, just BILLY'S HOUSE or JANIE'S ROOM, etc. (man I come up with awesome names) So my question is, is this right, wrong, going to drive someone batshit, make the scene flow better? By writing it this way, does it seem like I'm trying to do someone else's job?

[Deus Ex Machine]

What you are doing is fine. You can also just indicate that you are intercutting them and avoid indicating the jump to each room because their actions and/or dialogue indicate a cut to them.

INT. JANIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Janie talks on the phone with Billy, Suzie and Frankie.

INTERCUT:

................JANIE
...So, like, I was totally not impursed.

................BILLY
...Impressed.

................JANIE
....What?

................BILLY
...The word is "impressed".

.................JANIE
...What did I say?

..................FRANKIE
...Impursed.

..................SUZIE
...That is so weird, 'cause I bought a purse
...today. Freaky.