How to do this? montage

[Gabyra]

Hi there.

I have a scene where a woman walks down the street, after a very turbulent night. And while she walks, a series of images start coming through her mind. What’s the best way to do this? Dissolve to? Fade in? It’s just three or four cuts, and then back to her. Anyone there kind enough to help me out? Thanks in advance.:D

[dk23]

MONTAGE

A) scene 1

B) scene 2

C) scene 3

END OF MONTAGE

Although, I'm sure many here will tell you to find some way other than a montage to tell the same story. When in doubt, avoid the gimmicks.

Dan

p.s. What exactly is a turbulent night?

[Gabyra]

Thanks Dan, appreciate it. But how do I cut the scene? I mean, she’s walking and right after that I go to the montage? And then come back to her?

p.s. a turbulent night...a turbulent night...you’re right. Hard to tell. I’ll try to find a good explanation though.

[dk23]

she’s walking and right after that I go to the montage? And then come back to her?
That seems reasonable to me. The setting doesn't change, so you wouldn't use a new scene slug. Just add in the MONTAGE.

Dan

[TwoBrad Bradley]

Gabyra,
I've seen montages the way dk suggests, and without the labels (a - b - c).

A bit of caution:
Since, as you said, this happens right after a turbulent night, if she is just replaying events (and why would she be thinking of anything else?) that the audience just saw, you may want to consider deleting the montage.

[E J Pennypacker]

From a stylistic POV I would prefer:

MONTAGE

- Jane winks at a BIKER.

- Jane talks to Biker, but doesn't notice him drop a PILL into her glass.

- Jane knocks back a drink.

- Jane stumbles into the bathroom.

- Jane slaps a Biker around the chops, leaves...

END MONTAGE

---

So I would drop A, B, C or 1, 2, 3.

The above Montage would be useful for the audience to see *if* there contained *new information* that the audience had *not* seen. Say for example, poor old Jane not noticing the PILL in her drink. That way, the montage would be justified.

EJ

[dk23]

For what it's worth, the format I suggested (which seems a bit choppy to me) is from Argentini's Elements of Style for Screenwriters.

I agree that there are probably better ways to illustrate what you want to do, as I alluded to originally.

To my way of thinking, a montage is more of a directorial decision than a writing one, so it should be avoided unless there's a very clear and compelling reason to include it.

Dan

[Deus Ex Machine]

I'd do a slight variation of the suggested approach.



EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Jane drifts down the street, straightening her clothes.

MEMORY FLASHES:

- In a bar, Jane winks at a BIKER.

- Jane talks to Biker. He hands her a drink.

- Jane stumbles into the bathroom, slumps against the wall in a daze.

- The biker walks in, locks the door and opens his pants.

BACK TO:

Jane crumples against a wall. Tears stream down her face.




I think "MEMORY FLASHES" in this case is more effective at communicating clearly and succinctly what is happening than using "MONTAGE" would be.

I'd avoid using something like "but doesn't notice him drop a PILL into her glass." because we are seeing her memory and there is no way she could remember something she is unaware of. It violates the POV of the memories to include something like this in them.

My 2 cents.

[E J Pennypacker]

Deus --

A good point about the MEMORY FLASHES, nice touch.

But... *if* you were to use either MONTAGE/ SERIES OF SHOTS, it would therefore indicate that these were not her *memories*, but rather snap-shots of the evening from an unbiased POV.

Maybe I'm stepping away from the original Q post here. But I think either is fine, depending on whether or not the POV is from Jane (per example MEMORY FLASHES) or from the audience (MONTAGE/ SERIES OF SHOTS).

EJ