DEVIL'S DEADLINE: Sex & Murder Entry Thread!

[Adam Isaac]

THE MOVE
ezread

FADE IN:

INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY

Marissa and Charlotte, mid twenties, both perfect tens, sit at a table.

MARISSA
It was the best ever.

CHARLOTTE
Really, what'd he do?

MARISSA
Are you kidding, what didn't he do, he was a perfect gentleman all night, opened doors, paid for dinner, flushed the toilet.

CHARLOTTE
Flushed the toilet?

MARISSA
Hey, I've dated some guys that, well, I don't wanna talk about it. Anyways it was great, until we got home. Then it was f****** amazing.

CHARLOTTE
Ohh, the sailor mouth, it must have been special.

MARISSA
Yeah he was an animal, the final move he used, wow.

CHARLOTTE
Details.

Marissa looks around the coffee shop, her cheeks turn red. She leans over, whispers in Charlotte's ear.

Charlotte's eyes widen.

CHARLOTTE
You're so damn lucky.

MARISSA
Tell me about it.

CHARLOTTE
So, what's his name?

MARISSA
He told me to keep it a secret, he's in another relationship right now.

CHARLOTTE
You're such a whore.

MARISSA
Tell me about it.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Mike, early thirties, lays on his back. Charlotte straddles him, rides him like a horse.

Mike grabs her waist, flips her on to her back. Looks her deep in the eye, ducks beneath the sheets.

His head stops at her breasts -- then moves lower -- and lower.

Charlotte's face is flush with pleasure, her eyes roll back in her head, she grabs the pillow next to her, covers her face with it.

CHARLOTTE
(muffled through pillow)
Holy crap, ohh my god, ohhh, ohhhh, ohhh, ohh, -- wow.

Mike comes out from under the sheets, lays next to her.

Charlotte removes the pillow, she has a sour look on her face.

MIKE
What's wrong, you didn't like it?

CHARLOTTE
(angrily)
Did it sound like I didn't like it?

MIKE
Sorry.

CHARLOTTE
Where did you learn how to do that?

MIKE
What do you mean, just something I thought I'd try.

Charlotte rolls onto her side, away from Mike. Her eyes narrow.

CHARLOTTE
Uh huh.

INT. ENTRYWAY - DAY

Charlotte stands at the foot of the staircase, scantily dressed in sexy red panties and a half open silk robe.

Mike walks through the door. His eyes nearly pop out.

MIKE
Whoa, I new you liked it.

Charlotte doesn't say a word. She turns around, saunters up the stairs.

Mike eagerly follows.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Charlotte holds the bedroom door open, smiles at Mike as he walks

INTO THE BEDROOM

Another woman lies in their bed, face down.

Mike turns to Charlotte.

MIKE
What is this?

She motions him toward the bed.

Mike moves closer. The woman lies perfectly still, to still. closer. He can see her face --

It's Marissa. Her eyes are missing. Her empty sockets stare back at him.

He wretches back in horror. Covers his mouth with his hand.

MIKE
Oh my god. What have you..

A baseball bat SLAMS into Mike's jaw. He crumbles to the floor.

MIKE
Ahhhh.

His broken jaw dangles precariously to one side.

Charlotte towers over him, bat in hand. She raises it. Swings.

Mike dodges -- to slow. The bat crushes his shoulder.

CHARLOTTE
Just thought you would try something new huh! My ass.

She raises the bat --

Mike comes to his feet, lunges into her. She falls backwards onto the bed.

Mike runs for the door.

Charlotte gets up, follows him

INTO THE HALLWAY

Mike is at the top of the stairs.

Charlotte runs, hits him on the back.

He falls forward --

Down the stairs --

SMACKS his head against the railing --

BANGS his knee against the wall --

Lands awkwardly on his leg, it SNAPS.

He lays still, moans, a lump of bloody broken bones at the

BASE OF THE STAIRS.

Charlotte taps the bat against her hand, slowly makes her way down the stairs.

CHARLOTTE
Something new, never done it before!

Mike looks up at her, then over to his briefcase.

CHARLOTTE
Marissa sure seemed to enjoy it when you did it to her!

Mike rolls on to his belly, reaches forward, grabs the carpet, pulls himself forward.

Charlotte reaches the bottom of the stairs, steps over Mike, walks to the kitchen.

CHARLOTTE(O.S.)
You guys think I'm stupid, wouldn't be able to figure it out?

Mike pulls himself up to his briefcase. From the kitchen he hears a knife SLIDE off a butcher block.

He struggles to open his briefcase, shuffles through the contents, pulls out a cellphone and a small box.

Charlotte walks out of the kitchen with a seven inch KNIFE firmly gripped in her right hand.

Mike sits against the wall, holds a hand up, tries to speak.

MIKE
waaaa, waaa,

He pushes buttons on his cellphone.

Charlotte, eyes on fire, approaches, kneels next to him. She holds the point of the knife against his chest.

MIKE
Waaa, naaa.

She slowly slides the knife into his chest.

Mike pushes one last button on the phone.

With the blade two inches deep she --

suddenly stops when she hears Marrissa's voice coming from Mike's cell phone.

MARISSA
(over loudspeaker)
Hey Mike, hope that article helped, I'm sure she loved it, she went crazy when I told her how great it was when my boyfriend did it to me. Anyways, let me be the first to offer congratulations, she won't be able to say no after you use that move.

Charlotte stands up, looks down at Mike with her big puppy dog eyes.

Mike, knife still stuck in his chest, holds a small box in his hand, he flips it open, a DIAMOND RING sits inside.

Charlotte leans over, grabs it out of his hand.

CHARLOTTE
Oh honey, why didn't you say something?

Mike motions to his jaw.

MIKE
uuuh.

She takes the ring out of the box, slides it onto her ring finger --

It gets stuck on her knuckle. She pushes harder, it won't budge.

Her eyes narrow.

She raises her foot in the air, stomps down on the knife, driving all seven inches into Mike's chest.

CHARLOTTE
You can't even find a ring that fits!

Mike's head slumps to the side.

FADE OUT:

[theblondewritr]

:eek: Whahhh, the bar has been raised!

[Adam Isaac]

LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!!!

Here is a writer who totally understands the intent of this contest. Adult content. Graphic detailing. Tight execution. Not for children.....

Note the symbolism of this action line:
Charlotte walks out of the kitchen with a seven inch KNIFE firmly gripped in her right hand.


Nice.


NOTE TO SCRIBES:
Bring your A-game. This contest isn't practice. There is going to be a lot of serious competition-trust me.

[TDWoj]

LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!!!

Here is a writer who totally understands the intent of this contest. Adult content. Graphic detailing. Tight execution. Not for children.....

Note the symbolism of this action line:


Nice.


NOTE TO SCRIBES:
Bring your A-game. This contest isn't practice. There is going to be a lot of serious competition-trust me.

I think I'll just sit back and watch this one. Wahh!

(Noticed lots of typos. Can't help it - I have to copy-edit everything I do in real life, so...)

[IndieMe]

LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!!!

Here is a writer who totally understands the intent of this contest. Adult content. Graphic detailing. Tight execution. Not for children.....

You ain't seen nothin yet! :eek:

I didn't come down this alley to kiss A$$, I'm here to Kick A$$. :D

(I'm just kidding of course, but I'll do my best)

[dpaterso]

So, we post our entries in this thread?

-Derek

[Adam Isaac]

Yes.

I'm about to post another one.

[theblondewritr]

I didn't come down this alley to kiss A$$, I'm here to Kick A$$. :D LOL! It's time for some Shake N Bake!:rolling:

[ylekot43]

So, we post our entries in this thread?

-Derek


I think you send them directly to Adam.

[dpaterso]

I think you send them directly to Adam.
I dunno y, that's not what msg #7 above says.

Adam? Adam?! :confused:

-Derek

[Adam Isaac]

Yeah, you PM me.

[Adam Isaac]

ROLLING PIN(1 of 3)
Mister Q
EXT. SUBURBAN ROAD - DAY

ERIC PENFOLD (25), gangly frame and geeky look.

It's a glorious day. Birds are chirping, the Sun is smiling
and Eric has a kick in his stride.

He reaches Number 23, skips through the gate and walks up
the garden path.

His blissful smile disappears when he notices the hallway
window has been smashed in. The front door is open ajar. He
cautiously opens it further.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

The place is a mess. There are shards of glass scattered
across the floor. A chair has been knocked over. Signs of a
struggle.

ERIC
Melissa?

No reply, then a painful scream coming from upstairs.
Panic. He's a skinny guy so he scours the room for a much
needed weapon.

A kitchen knife; he doesn't know if he could. The chair;
too big and cumbersome. The electric whisk; what was he
thinking? The wooden ROLLING PIN; perfect.

INT. STAIRS TO LANDING - DAY

Eric creeps up the stairs. More agonizing cries from
Melissa and muffled by the music, the unmistakable,
menacing sound of a deep male voice snarling.

OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM DOOR

This is it. He gently pushes it open and there she is,
stripped naked, a hulk of a man on top of her.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Eric just stands at the doorway. He's not frozen with fear,
he seems confused by the fact that she seems to be enjoying
it.

As she begins to have an orgasm she turns her head to see
Eric gormlessly standing there with a rolling pin in his
hand.

MELISSA
Oh God! No! God! ****!

WAYNE
You like that, baby?

MELISSA
God, no! Stop! Stop!

WAYNE
Stop? Ah, ****, baby, don't say
stop if you don't mean it. I got
a real thing about that.

Melissa climaxes. Use your own imagination for the sounds.

MELISSA
Ah, Jesus, ****, I mean it. Oh
God, please, no, stop, stop!

She points as best she can. Wayne stops, disappointed and
confused, he looks at her pointing finger and swings his
head round. There stands the pathetic figure that is Eric.

WAYNE
Who the fcuk are you!?

MELISSA
Jesus, Eric, what are you doing
in my house? I can't believe
you've let yourself in.

ERIC
The window was smashed, I--

MELISSA
I lost my keys and asked Wayne if
he'd-- look, that's not the
point, just get out! Go!

Wayne takes this as his cue, gets out of bed and stark
bollock-naked paces over. He grabs Eric's face and he
shoves him out of the room.

INT. LANDING - CONTINUOS

Wayne walks over, Eric gathers himself and strikes him in
the chest with the rolling pin. It's doubtful whether the
blow would even produce a bruise.

Wayne punches him in the face. Clearly not his hardest,
just enough to put an end to any more acts of defiance.
Eric falls halfway down the stairs. He stands.

Wayne jogs aggressively down the first few steps just to
scare him off.

WAYNE
Is that your boyfriend or
somethin'?

MELISSA
No, not really. I haven't even
slept with him yet.

WAYNE
Fcuk.

[Adam Isaac]

ROLLING PIN (2 OF 3)

INT. ERIC'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Darkness and silence but for what trickles in from outside.
Eric sits on the couch with a face like thunder. The events
of earlier clearly occupying his thoughts.

He gets up and turns on the television. Happy people. Argh!
He turns it straight off.

He paces around the room trying to fend off the tears as
his emotions bounce between anger and sorrow.

WOMAN (O.S.)
Wayne, wait a minute.

Eric goes over to look out of the window. There he is.
Wayne. His nemesis. Ruiner of Fledgling Romances. Destroyer
of Budding Love. Eric's eyes narrow with hate.

A young girl walks over to him. Much prettier than Melissa.
Eric can't hear what they're saying but he can tell that
they're flirting. Wayne grabs her arse and they share a
brief kiss.

WOMAN (CONT'D)
Call me, okay?

WAYNE
Of course I'll call you,
sweetheart. Take care, alright,
and look after yourself.

They walk off in opposite directions.

ERIC
(murmurs)
Why don't you take care of her
and walk her home you horrible
piece of scum?

The red mist has clearly descended over Eric. He is shaking
with rage. He spots the rolling pin, grabs it and goes
outside.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

He sees Wayne ahead. He looks at the rolling pin but what's
he gonna do?

Eric gets in his car and drives slowly after him.
Wayne turns a corner. A flash of inspiration passes over
Eric. He knows this area and he knows that this is his
chance.

He puts his foot down and speeds around the corner. Wayne
hears the sound of the engine but before he can turn he's
hit and dragged under the car.

Eric grabs the rolling pin from the passenger seat.
Wayne is a heap of mess on the road. Barely alive. He tries
to say something but he hasn't the strength.

ERIC
You think you're some kind of
man? You think you can fcuk with
me? You think you can go through
life ****ting on people without
there ever being any
consequences? Do ya!?

Eric sets about hitting Wayne around the head with the
rolling pin, but it's not like before. With the adreneline,
hate and anger these are solid blows.

ERIC (CONT'D)
How do you feel now? How does it
feel like when someone fcuks with
you? Eh? How do you feel? Tell me
how it feels!

One more whack but then he stops. The realization strikes
him. He's talking to a corpse.

He frantically looks around. He was right to pick this
spot. There's no-one there and no windows overlooking him.
He opens the trunk of his car and with his new found
strength hoists Wayne's body in.

EXT. WOODLAND - NIGHT
Eric digs a grave with the rolling pin. It's been raining,
the earth is soft, this is working.

[Adam Isaac]

ROLLING PIN (3 OF 3)

INT. ERIC'S APARTMENT - DAY

Eric is dressed in best suit, brushing his teeth, leaning
forward to ensure there's no spillage.

The doorbell rings. He's been expecting the call. He rinses
his mouth and puts his toothbrush and paste in a small bag
and carries it downstairs.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

It's not long before they begin banging on the door,
accompanied with the rather clichéd call of:

MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Eric! Open up. I know you're in
there.

Eric looks at himself in the hallway mirror. He adjusts his
tie slightly. He looks pleasantly resigned. Time to face
the music.

He opens the door. His jaw drops. Something worse than the
police.

WAYNE
Alright, mate. Look, I feel
terrible. Not about banging
Melissa because I didn't know
about you two, although, as I
understand it, there ain't really
a "you two" if you know what I
mean. But slappin' you about was
bang out of order and I just
wanna say--

Eric isn't hearing any of this. He's looking at Wayne's
yappity mouth. Not only is he alive but with all those
animated facial expressions he's somehow even more so.

WAYNE (CONT'D)
--not only are we neighbours but
we're blokes. We gotta look out
for each other. Know what I mean?
So whaddya say, is everything
cool?

Wayne offers a hand. A beat. Eric shakes his hand.

ERIC
Crystal.

WAYNE
Crystal cool. Like it. Nice one.
Take care, alright, and look
after yourself.

Eric closes the door and mournfully walks upstairs.

INT. ERIC'S APARTMENT - DAY
Eric picks up the phone and dials 999.
OPERATOR (FILTERED)
999 Emergency Services. What
service do you require?

ERIC
I . . . I . . .
OPERATOR (FILTERED)
Sir, what service do you require?
Sir, is everything okay?
(a beat)
This is 999 Emergency Services.
Do you require a service, sir?

ERIC
I'm sorry, I think I've got the
wrong number.

FADE OUT.

[Adam Isaac]

AUDACITY (1 of 2)
Johny Atlas

FADE IN:

INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - DAY

The body of a NAKED MAN lies sprawled across a king-sized bed
tainted dark crimson. A few stray flies swarm around the mush
that used to be a face.

A few COPS swarm around the room, not unlike the flies on the
dead man's face. CHIEF HAMMETT (49) and a private detective,
STEVEN CHANDLER (34), stare at the mutilated corpse.

CHIEF HAMMETT
An old friend told me there are
three elements to any successful
murder, detective. Premeditation,
assistance, and audacity... This
one has audacity in spades.


INT. A DINGY BAR - NIGHT

The bar bustles with near-homeless alcoholics. One alcoholic,
not quite as close to a cardboard condo as the rest, is FRANK
CAIN (31). Bottle in one hand, glass in the other, he does
his best to catch up with the rest.

He is half way to the bottom of his bottle when JULIA (28)
sits her short skirt and enticing body beside him.

JULIA
You're being just a bit cliche,
don't you think?

FRANK
What?

JULIA
The morose man who lost it all
drinking away his sorrows in a dive
bar. It's been done.

Frank slams back another shot.

FRANK
I'm not exactly concerned with
originality at the moment.

She leans closer to him. He refills his glass.

JULIA
What are you looking for at the
bottom of that bottle?

Frank stares at her for a moment, reaches into his pocket,
and pulls out a photograph. He hands it to Julia.

JULIA
What was her name?

FRANK
Stephanie.

JULIA
She was your girlfriend?

FRANK
Wife.

JULIA
I'm sorry... I'm Julia, by the way.

She puts out a hand. Frank looks at it, and downs a shot.

FRANK
Frank.

Julie takes back her hand.

JULIA
So she's missing?

FRANK
Yeah. I even hired a private
detective. No dice. She's...

He waves his hands in the air.

JULIA
I lost someone recently too.
Want to go somewhere and talk?

He looks up.


INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT

Frank and Julia sit on the bed. Julia's body does its best to
console him.

FRANK
She was my everything, you know?
She just left. Left me alone to be
with that bastard.

She slowly unbuttons his shirt.

JULIA
How do you know she's with him?

FRANK
All the signs were there. One day I
investigated. Found out for sure.

Julia kisses his naked chest.

FRANK
She left shortly after that. He's
been missing too.

Julia pulls off her shirt and mounts him.

JULIA
Who was this guy? Did you know him?

She runs her soft hands over his chest.

FRANK
No. Just some guy she worked with.

She takes off her bra.

JULIA
What was his name?

FRANK
Chris Sanders. I just don't know
what I did wrong.

She unbuttons his pants.

JULIA
It's okay, Frank. You'll move on.

The two make love.

Their bodies writhe.

Twist.

Heave.

Stop. Frank pushes her off.

FRANK
I'm sorry, I just can't..

JULIA
I know. Come here.

She pulls him close. Kisses him. Mounts him. Grinds.

[Adam Isaac]

AUDACITY (2 of 2)


Frank's eyes are distant.


FRANK
I don't know if I can do this.

JULIA
It must be hard to cheat on the
woman you murdered.

Frank's eyes snap to hers.

FRANK
What?

JULIA
Especially with the wife of the man
you killed the same night.

Frank's eyes swell.

FRANK
Oh God.

JULIA
Hi Frank. My name's Julia Sanders.

Her hands constrict around Frank's neck.

JULIA
I knew Chris was ****ing your slut
of a wife. One night I followed
them. Turns out, so did you.



EXT. MOTEL PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Julia sits in her car. She watches as CHRIS and STEPHANIE
enter a room.

The driver's door of another car opens. Frank gets out of the
car and walks towards the motel.



THE APARTMENT BEDROOM

Julia squeezes harder. Frank gargles. Tears stream down his
cheeks.

JULIA
You could have left, divorced her,
let her know that you caught her...
But instead you waited...



EXT. THE MOTEL PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Frank lurks in the shadows by the cars, tire iron in hand.

CHRIS and STEPHANIE walk to a car.

The two kiss. Chris walks to the driver's door.

Frank explodes from the shadows. He bashes the tire iron into
Chris' head.

Blood sprays onto Frank's face.

Chris falls.

Frank hits him again.



THE APARTMENT BEDROOM

Frank's face is purple.

JULIA
The next part I didn't mind...



THE PARKING LOT

Stephanie runs to the blood-splattered Frank. She hits him.

He drops the tire iron.

She hits him again.

He looks at her, grabs her neck, and squeezes.



THE APARTMENT BEDROOM

Frank tries to get a breath. Julia tightens her grip.

JULIA
You wanted to kill her, fine. But
you had to kill my Chris. He was
all I had. He was my everything,
Frank. You took that away from me.

FRANK (INAUDIBLE)
I'm sorry.

JULIA
No. You're not.

She pulls a knife from her skirt. She slashes his throat.

The fountain of blood soaks her naked body.

Her eyes blaze. She thrusts the knife into his face.



INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - DAY

Detective Steven Chandler stares at the mangled corpse.

CHIEF HAMMETT
The license in his wallet says
Frank Cain. You know him, I assume?

STEVEN
Yeah. He's my client.

CHIEF HAMMETT
Hope you got yourself a retainer.

STEVEN
Money's the farthest thing from my
mind, chief.

Hammett grunts.

CHIEF HAMMETT
Alright, boys. Let's get this
corpse out of here before the
maggots take it for us.

Steven leaves.



INT. THE DINGY BAR - NIGHT

Julia sits alone at the bar as she nurses a martini.

Steven approaches.

STEVEN
That was quite a scene, Julia.

She looks up, surprised.

STEVEN
Was it worth it?

JULIA
Every minute.

STEVEN
And he deserved it?

JULIA
More than you will ever know.

STEVEN
What did you do with the knife?

JULIA
Melted it.

STEVEN
You know I could lose my license
for this.

JULIA
I know. Thank you, Steven.

He smiles.

STEVEN
Anything for my little sister.

She smiles back.

JULIA
I'm going back to Washington. You
should come up soon, if you have
the time.

STEVEN
I will. Tell mom I said hi.

JULIA
I will.

Steven leaves.

Julia drinks her martini with a smile.


FADE TO BLACK.

[Adam Isaac]

SUBMISSION REMINDER:
PM me your submissions. There is a 10,000 character maximum so you will probably have to send it in (2) or (3) parts.

[RyPa]

Just to clarify: We don't need to have BOTH sex and murder in the story, correct? Would murder alone suffice?

[Adam Isaac]

Mmm...you can do just one if you really want too, but the trend so far is murder and at least some sex.

Whatever's clever....you can do either/or, or you can do both.

[Adam Isaac]

BOB'S SICK AND TWISTED TRIP TO NECROVILLE(1 of 3)
ezread
FADE IN:


INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT


A king size bed sits against the wall in the large bedroom.
A plasma T.V. hangs on the wall across from it. An arched
corridor leads to a spacious


BATHROOM


with double sinks, walk in shower and jacuzzi tub.


IN THE BEDROOM


The door SLAMS open. SARAH, mid forties, middle class barbie
doll, storms in.


SARAH
Hell no, that’s the most disgusting
immoral thing I’ve ever heard.


BOB, mid fifties, gray hair with a healthy beer gut, follows
her into the room.


BOB
What? Come on baby. I even got you a nose plug.


Sarah stops, turns around, glares at him.


SARAH
Oh, that makes it much better. You
tasteless..childish..uhh..there is
no way I’m ever going to give you
a..what’d you call it?


BOB
Blumpkin.


Sarah shivers.


SARAH
Ugh, disgusting.


She walks toward the bathroom. Bob follows.


BOB
Come on, Frankie said it was the
greatest thing ever.


SARAH
Frankie, and his whore of a wife
can blumpkin all they want.


Bob stops in his tracks, his eyes narrow.


BOB
There is no need to talk about my
sister like that.


SARAH
Oh, but Frankie can describe her
depraved sex acts to you?


Sarah storms into the bathroom.


SARAH(O.S.)
You waste away at that useless job
of yours..come home.. sit on your
ass.. watch t.v. and drink beer all
night while you scratch your balls.
And then you have the audacity to
ask me to take those same balls
and..


Bob reaches into his ears, pulls out his hearing aids.
Silence. Sweat sweat silence. He smiles.


Sarah appears around the corner. Her mouth moves angrily,
but not a sound can be heard.


Bob mimics her, tilts his head back and forth.


BOB
Blah, blah, blah. I can’t hear you.


Sarah flips him the bird.


Bob takes off his pants, walks over to the bed, climbs in.


IN THE BATHROOM


Sarah looks in the mirror.


SARAH
You could have done so much better.


Sarah washes her face, reaches for a towel. She hears a car
outside turn the corner.


The headlights from the car shine through the windows for a
moment, and into the dark walk-in closet where a tall
BEARDED MAN, with and axe, hides.


Sarah jumps, yelps when she sees the Bearded Man’s
reflection flash in the mirror.


She spins around, petrified. She stares at the deep dark
closet, rubs her eyes. Stares a little longer. Nothing.


SARAH
Gotta stay away from the scotch

[Adam Isaac]

BOB'S SICK AND TWISTED TRIP TO NECROVILLE (2 of 3)

IN THE BEDROOM

Bob sleeps peacefully. Behind him Sarah stands in the
bathroom, dries her face with a towel.

The Bearded Man sneaks up behind her.

She lowers the towel, screams.

The Bearded Man grabs her, throws her into the tub. He
raises the AXE, swings it down into her.

Bob snores, shuffles a bit, snores.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

The large Victorian house sits at the end of a Cul-de-sac.

A thick layer of clouds blocks the moon. The street lights turn off.

IN THE BEDROOM

Complete DARKNESS.

BOB(O.S.)
Hey honey, you sleeping?

The bed CREEKS, sheets SHUFFLE.

BOB(O.S.)
Honey?

More SHUFFLES.

BOB(O.S.)
Oh, no pajamas. Make up sex, you
read my mind.

More CREEKS and SHUFFLES. Then CREEK CREEK CREEK.

BOB(O.S.)
Oh yeah..yeah..thats okay baby, you
don’t have to do a thing. yeah,
just lay there and take it.

CREEK CREEK CREEK.

BOB(O.S.)
OHHH yeah, Ohh yeah Ohhhhh say can
you seeeeee!

CREEK CREEK..

BOB(O.S.)
Oh, yeah.

CREE..

BOB(O.S.)
(breathing heavily)
I forgive yah baby.

Bob’s feet PLOP onto the floor. Plop Plop Plop, Flick.

IN THE BATHROOM

the lights turn on.

Bob, blinded by the light, stumbles into the bathroom. Takes
a leek. Finishes. Walks to the sink, washes his hands. Looks down at
the tub --

Sarah’s severed head floats in a pool of blood, it stares up
at him.

He jumps back.

BOB
What the holy hell.

He collects himself.

BOB
Honey, there’s a head in the tub.

He looks closer.

BOB
Wait a second. That’s your..

His eyes widen, his jaw drops.

He stands breathless for a moment then reluctantly walks
into

THE BEDROOM

and turns on the lights.

Sarah’s headless naked body lays spread eagle on the bed.

He wretches backwards. Runs into

THE BATHROOM

leans over the toilet to puke -- nothing comes out.

He gets up. Walks to the tub, sits on the edge. Puts his
head in his hands. Thinks.

[Adam Isaac]

BOB'S SICK AND TWISTED TRIP TO NECROVILLE (3 of 3)

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT


A Stray DOG wonders down the road.


The motion sensitive street lights turn on.


The Dog bolts behind a tree, runs head first into the
Bearded Man. The Bearded Man leans down, pets him. They both
walk toward another house.


IN THE BATHROOM


Bob raises his head from his hands. A strange look of
contentment fills his face. He looks down at Sarah’s head.


BOB
Tell me something honey. What’s
more twisted? The fact that I don’t
care that you’re dead..


He looks toward the bedroom.


BOB
..or the fact that that was the best sex I’ve ever had?

He looks down at her, giggles.

BOB
Probably the latter.



He rubs his hands together.



BOB

Guess I better do something with
the body.

He walks out of the bathroom.

Moments later he walks back in, leans against the wall.

BOB
(to Sarah’s head)
On second thought, it’ll probably
be good for at least a couple more
days. What do you think?

Her head bobbles back and forth in the pool of blood.

BOB
Damn, even in death you’re a prude.

FADE OUT:

[IndieMe]

Now that was sick!! ....and fun :D

[Adam Isaac]

ANOTHER SERIAL KILLER (1 of 2)

Jcorona
FADE IN:

EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT

A street lamp lights up a street sign.

On one sign: "CANNERY ROW," on the cross sign: "DAISY STREET."

Three prostitutes hang under the light, just along CANNERY ROW. The prostitute in the middle, BLONDIE, holds out a newspaper as the other two eagerly stare at its headline.

INSERT HEADLINE: "CANNERY ROW SERIAL KILLER STRIKES AGAIN."

The three prostitutes eyeball each other, look up at the CANNERY ROW sign.

The brunette and the redhead scram in opposite directions.

Blondie stays put, stares at the DAISY sign, her forehead wrinkles.

She looks around, dashes over to the DAISY side of the corner and sighs.

A Corvette with a clean-cut JOHN behind the wheel pulls over and stops in front of her. The John fidgets, a nervous smile on his face.

JOHN
H-hi.

BLONDIE
Hi, cutie.

JOHN
I've never done this before. How does it work?

BLONDIE
Well, basically, you give me money and I do everything your wife doesn't.

JOHN
What about your pimp?

BLONDIE
Don't worry about him. The serial killer killed him.

JOHN
That stuff's true?

Blondie nods, looks toward an alley off of CANNERY ROW.

BLONDIE
Look.

The John follows her eyes.

A dead prostitute lies in the alley. Her pimp stands next to her and still pimps her.

BLONDIE
She was number seven. She makes more money now than when she was alive.

JOHN
Why?

BLONDIE
Doesn't say no to anything now. Doesn't even use protection.

The corvette peels away, rounds the corner and screeches to a stop in front of the dead prostitute.

The John hops out, hands her pimp a wad of cash and drags the body into the alley from view.

Blondie slumps, but not for long as an old station wagon with wood panelling and dark tinted windows creeps up and stops in front of her.

The front passenger window slides down three inches and stops.

An eyeball stares at her through the opening.

The window slides back up, back down three inches and stops. The eye stares.

The window repeatedly, quickly slides up and down until it stops three inches open and the eye stares.

Blondie leans in.

BLONDIE
Roll it down all the way.

PASSENGER
It's stuck.

BLONDIE
Then open the door. I gotta see who I'm dealing with.

The door swings open. Duct tape, rope, a shovel, and a book fall out, hit the street.

INSERT BOOK'S COVER: "The Ted Bundy Story."

Blondie takes back, her jaw slacks, her eyes widen.

The PASSENGER and DRIVER could easily pass for serial killers.

Blondie swoops up the items.

BLONDIE
I'm sorry. I should've never asked you to open the door. I need to be more trusting. You guys gold miners?

The Driver and Passenger give each other a look and look back at Blondie.

PASSENGER
Yeah.

Blondie hands the Passenger the items.

PASSENGER
Thanks.
(about items)
Ya' never know what ya' might need out there. The book helps pass time.

BLONDIE
(about book)
I dated Teddy once. He's not as bad as the book makes him out to be.

PASSENGER
Right. How 'bout you date us, sweetie? How much?

BLONDIE
Depends. Whaddaya want?

PASSENGER
Everything.

BLONDIE
How do I know you guys ain't the serial killer?

PASSENGER
'Cause there's two of us.

Blondie slaps her forehead, opens the rear passenger door, hops in and closes it.

[Adam Isaac]

ANOTHER SERIAL KILLER (2 of 2)

INT. STATION WAGON - CONTINUOUS

BLONDIE
I really need to trust more.

PASSENGER
Do you know a secluded spot?

BLONDIE
Of course. I suck snake and lick ass for a living.

PASSENGER
How much to do that?

BLONDIE
Suck the snake?

PASSENGER
Lick my ass?

BLONDIE
Well, that's special -- ten bucks.

The Passenger smiles.

The Driver's eyebrows lower. He chokes the steering wheel.

DRIVER
(to Blondie)
Out.

The Passenger loses the smile, stares at the Driver.

DRIVER
Out!

Blondie doesn't budge.

DRIVER
Out!!!!

Blondie darts out, slams the door.

PASSENGER
(to Blondie)
Wait, don't go yet!

Blondie ponders, crosses her arms and taps her foot.

BLONDIE
You got one minute, Mister.
(counts down)
Six hundred, five ninety-nine, five ninety-eight --

The Passenger clasps his hands in a "thank you" gesture as Blondie continues the count down.

PASSENGER
(to Driver)
Are you crazy? What's wrong with you?

DRIVER
She's too easy.

PASSENGER
Too easy?

DRIVER
It's not about the sex. It's about the hunt.

PASSENGER
We're paying for it. There is no hunt. Look at her, she's gorgeous, smart.

BLONDIE
Five ninety-three, five ninety-two --

PASSENGER
Please, man, do it for me.

The Driver ponders.

PASSENGER
Please?

DRIVER
You really like 'er, don't'chu?

PASSENGER
Nah, I just want my ass licked.

The Driver smiles.

DRIVER
Oh all right. Think she'll lick mine, too?

PASSENGER
Sure. I'll even let you go first.

DRIVER
Let 'er in.

PASSENGER
Hop in.

Blondie can't hop in fast enough and smiles.

BLONDIE
Whew, that minute was counting down fast.

PASSENGER
I know.

DRIVER
Where's the spot?

BLONDIE
Relax, we'll get there in no time. Make a left at the corner and go straight for eighty-two miles.

The dudes stare.

BLONDIE
I'll draw a map.

The Driver stomps on the gas pedal.

EXT. STREET CORNER - CONTINUOUS

The car screeches away.

AGAINST BLACK: "The next night."

EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT

Blondie holds out a newspaper. She's flanked by the redhead and the brunette prostitutes who eyeball the front page headline.

INSERT HEADLINE: "2 GOLD MINERS SLAIN BY SERIAL KILLER."

The redhead and brunette scram.

Blondie drops the paper, strolls five paces over to Daisy Street.

The John in the Corvette from last night pulls up and stops.

The John steps out, leans up against the car, a toothpick in his mouth, his legs crossed. He's confident.

JOHN
You datin', whore?

BLONDIE
I'm not a whore.

JOHN
You datin', slut?

BLONDIE
Sure.

JOHN
How much to do you while you play dead?

BLONDIE
That's special -- five bucks.

JOHN
Get in.

BLONDIE
You sure you're not the serial killer?

JOHN
Do I look like a serial killer?

BLONDIE
No.

Blondie smiles.

THE END

[Adam Isaac]

LOSING FAITH (1 of 2)
Warning: Adult Content

dpaterso
FADE IN:

EXT. PRIVATE SWIMMING POOL - BEACH HOUSE - DAY

Sun oil gleams on perfect legs... a perfect body... huge
perfect boobs. A gorgeous BLONDE sunbathes naked by the pool,
wearing only a pair of sunglasses.

A shadow falls across her face. She pushes her glasses up,
stares in annoyance at two men in dark suits. LOUIS and
HARRY smile, admiring the view.

BLONDE
Hey, who let you in here?

She pushes herself up on her elbows and shouts:

BLONDE
Bertrand? Bertrand?

LOUIS
Bertrand? Big muscular guy?

Harry gives a low whistle and makes a diving motion with his
hand, indicating that Bertrand went down.

BLONDE
What do you want?

LOUIS
We want you, baby.

Harry loops a garrote wire around the Blonde's neck and pulls
it tight. She claws and kicks and thrashes for her life,
but Harry knows his business. WILD SAXOPHONE MUSIC blares
over this drama.

Louis picks up the Blonde's drink, tosses a plastic umbrella
into the pool. He takes a sip, screws up his face.

LOUIS
I hate mango.

The SAX MUSIC stops on an off-key note, Harry steps back,
panting. The Blonde lies limp.

Louis picks up the Blonde's sunglasses and puts them over
her eyes. Louis and Harry walk away, leaving the dead Blonde
gleaming by the pool.


INT. MODERN OFFICE - DAY

Louis and Harry enter, they smile at the cute receptionist,
MARY. Louis realizes Mary's blind, wearing opaque glasses.

MARY
Can I help you?

LOUIS
I'm looking for Miss Svenlaska?

Louis and Harry look at an inner door that says:
"I. Svenlaska - Personnel Recruitment Agency"

MARY
Do you have an appointment?

Harry heads for the inner door. Mary doesn't know.

LOUIS
No, but I don't mind waiting.

MARY
Can I ask your name?

Harry opens the inner door, steps inside, closes it.

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
I'm sorry, you're not supposed to be--

Mary tilts her head, puzzled. Louis sweeps the phone, a
pencil holder, papers, off Mary's desk and onto the floor.

LOUIS
Oh I'm sorry, that was clumsy of me!

He picks stuff up, making as much noise as possible. Mary
doesn't know what's going on.

Harry comes out of the inner office. Louis puts the phone
back on Mary's desk.

LOUIS
I'll come back when you're less busy.

Louis and Harry exit, leaving Mary bewildered.


INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

WOLF FRITZ, sharp suit and slick hair, grins as he opens an
attache case full of white bricks.

FRITZ
Now this here is the good stuff.

He's talking to LAREDO, a cold-eyed cowboy wearing hat and
boots, and SALLY, a gum-popping moll who must be forty if
she's a day.

Laredo gestures to Sally who pulls out a flick-knife, SNICK!
Fritz takes a half-step back, alarmed.

LAREDO
Be cool, amigo.

Sally cuts a brick, pokes her finger into white powder, then
sticks her finger up her nose and SNIFFS. She spasms and
falls back onto the couch, eyes rolling. Fritz is kinda
freaked but Laredo just watches.

Sally pants for breath. She opens her eyes, smiles.

SALLY
It's the good stuff all right.

She reaches for more but Laredo pushes her back. Laredo
tosses a thick envelope to Fritz. Fritz opens it, counts
the money inside.

FRITZ
Uh, not that I don't trust you...

LAREDO
Man's entitled to count his money.


EXT. MOTEL - DAY

Louis and Harry check out a red convertible and a tan sedan
sitting in the sun. They walk to a motel room door and draw
their guns.


INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

A toilet FLUSHES. Laredo and Sally freeze. A big six-gun
appears in Laredo's hand as if by magic. Fritz holds up
both hands, drops his envelope.

FRITZ
No, no, it's just a girl, a hooker.

Laredo gestures for Sally to check it out. Sally kicks the
bathroom door open. Inside, WHIRL, a cute redhead in skimpy
underwear, applies lipstick in the sink mirror.

WHIRL
Do you mind?

Laredo and Sally exchange looks. Sally grins.

FRITZ
I told her to wait in there.

Whirl YELPS as Sally drags her out by the hair and throws
her onto the bed. Sally climbs on top of Whirl and pins her
wrists down.

Laredo touches the barrel of his six-gun to Fritz's forehead.

FRITZ
We had a deal!

LAREDO
We dealt. This is personal. Kneel.

Fritz kneels, uncertain. Laredo unbuckles his belt.

LAREDO
Unzip me, boy.

FRITZ
Oh dear lord no.

[Adam Isaac]

LOSING FAITH (2 of 2)
Warning: Adult Content


On the bed, Sally kisses Whirl hard and feels her up. Whirl
writhes and makes moaning pleasure noises.

Fritz, on his knees, fumbles with Laredo's zipper.

FRITZ
It's stuck.

Laredo thumbs back his six-gun's hammer, CLICK.

LAREDO
This here hog-leg's got a light trigger.

LOUIS (O.S.)
So does mine.

Laredo and Fritz gape at Louis and Harry who cover them from
the door. Laredo's pants fall down around his ankles. He
raises his hands.

Whirl grabs the bedside lamp and smashes it against Sally's
head. Sally tumbles off the bed, legs in the air.

Harry relieves Laredo of his six-gun.

LOUIS
Which one of you joy boys is Fritz?

Fritz gulps hard but doesn't answer.

LAREDO
That would be this here fella.

Louis nods to Harry who pulls Fritz to his feet and pushes
him into the bathroom. Harry goes in and closes the door.

FRITZ (O.S.)
No, wait!

BLAM! Harry exits the bathroom, joins Louis. A glimpse of
blood spray on the bathroom mirror.

LOUIS
Anyone follows us, gets the same.

WHIRL
Mister?

Louis stops, halfway out the door. Sally rises above the
bed, blood on her face, angry as hell.

WHIRL
I don't want to stay with them.

Louis considers. He beckons, come on. Whirl slides off the
bed, gathers up clothes and boots, snatches up Fritz's money
envelope.

LAREDO
Spend it wisely, darlin'.

Whirl runs outside. Louis backs out, closes the door.

SALLY
Bitch took our money.

LAREDO
Who cares? Come on over here.

Sally shuffles over to Laredo on her knees. We don't see
what she does but Laredo closes his eyes and MOANS.

LAREDO
It's good to be alive, baby.


INT. SEDAN - DAY (MOVING)

Harry drives. In the back seat, Whirl gets dressed.

WHIRL
That was mighty kind of you.

LOUIS
Our pleasure.

WHIRL
What did Fritz do anyway?

LOUIS
Sold dope to the wrong people.


EXT. PRIVATE SWIMMING POOL - BEACH HOUSE - DAY

The Blonde (before Harry killed her) is on her hands and
knees getting serviced by BERTRAND, a bronzed slab of muscle.
The Blonde stuffs coke up her nose and shouts:

BLONDE
Give it to me, Bertrand! Oh! Oh!


EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

Inside the house, watching, is WAGNER, 50s, tight-lipped
with anger. The Blonde and Bertrand's antics are reflected
in the window, over Wagner's face. Wagner turns away and
disappears into the shadows.


INT. SEDAN - DAY (MOVING)

LOUIS
Can we drop you somewhere?

WHIRL
I'd like to show y'all my appreciation.

Louis and Harry look at each other. Sounds good.


INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Naked on the bed, Louis and Harry give Whirl a love sandwich.


INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Expensive good taste decor. Wagner sits in a leather chair,
pours himself a whiskey from an almost empty bottle.

A polite KNOCK on the door. Wagner throws his drink back.
Louis and Harry enter.

WAGNER
It's done? That damn "masseur"?

LOUIS
He's given his last back rub.

WAGNER
What about the bitch who hired him?

LOUIS
She's out of the recruiting business.

WAGNER
The dealer?

LOUIS
Just one more crime statistic.

WAGNER
My slut of a wife?

Louis doesn't answer. Wagner tosses Louis an envelope.

WAGNER
There's an extra hundred grand there.

Wagner looks up at Louis, his wet eyes full of pain.

WAGNER
Just don't make it quick.

Louis looks at Harry, who shrugs and pulls on a pair of black
leather gloves.

WAGNER
I really loved her. You know?

Louis looks out the window while sounds of extreme physical
violence play out behind him to WILD SAX MUSIC. Wagner YELPS
as Harry beats him to death. THWACK. THWACK. THWACK.


INT. SEDAN - NIGHT (MOVING)

Harry drives. Louis wears a thoughtful look.

LOUIS
It's a crazy mixed-up world, Harry.

HARRY
That's what keeps us in business, Louis.

FADE OUT:

[Adam Isaac]

GRAND THEFT (1 of 3)


ylekot43
INT. SLEAZY MOTEL ROOM -DAY

A delicate HAND clinches a chain tied to the bed’s HEADBOARD as it bangs rhythmically into the wall.

Vacant feminine EYES stare at the ceiling -- her mind is somewhere else.

Sheets slide down a MAN’s muscle-ridden back to reveal a TATTOO of the PUERTO RICAN FLAG on his right shoulder blade.

The pace erupts into a frenzy of thrusts, grunts and moans.

The chains tighten around both WRISTS as the headboard slams into the wall again and again.
Silence.

The Man collapses onto the woman -- then rolls over and looks at the ceiling.

His face is worn from decades of hard living.

The Woman sheds a tear:

WOMAN
That’s fifty.

MAN
Marcus told me twenty-five.

WOMAN
Chains are extra.

The Man flicks a Zippo open -- lights up:

MAN
Marcus told me twenty-five.

WOMAN
I don’t care what Marcus told you. Take off...

The Man’s hand cups her mouth shut.

His other hand slides the sheet down below her breast. His lips guide the lit cigarette to within an inch of her nipple.

Smoke pours out his nostrils and across the contour of her chest.

Her eyes grow wide.

He smirks, releases her mouth, and gets out of bed.

WOMAN
*******.

He swigs the last ounce of Tequilla from the bottle and drops in the cigarette.

WOMAN
Well?

He dresses:

MAN
Well what?

WOMAN
Fvcking untie me.

The chains rattle against the headboard.

MAN
Now why would I go and do something like that?

He picks up her purse.

WOMAN
You have got to be kidding. Marcus is going to have your nuts for this.

MAN
Cahones.

He grabs his package.

MAN
I like it better when people call them cahones.

He smells the money from her purse.

MAN
Besides...

He picks up a baseball bat from underneath the bed:

MAN
Marcus is never going to find out.

WOMAN
What are you doing? What the fvck are you doing”

MAN
Marcus has... como se dice`? -- expired.

WOMAN
You’re crazy. You’re fvcking crazy.

MAN
I know. I know. Yo se’.

He raises the baseball bat.

DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Cut.

REVEAL:
The motel room is a movie set.

[Adam Isaac]

GRAND THEFT (2 of 3)

The DIRECTOR raises his head above the camera:

DIRECTOR
That’s a wrap. Nice work Victor.

Victor flicks the chain around the woman’s wrist.

VICTOR
(to Woman)
I think you enjoyed that.

ALICE
Can we keep these?

VICTOR
You gonna’ charge me extra?

ALICE
You’re such an ass.

Alice playfully kicks him.

ALICE
Get me out of these.

The DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY flips through a script as he speaks to the Director:

DP
That’ll never make the final cut. The studio want’s PG-13.

DIRECTOR
I don’t know how they expect me to make a fvcing movie about Grand Theft Auto if we can’t beat up any hookers.

DP
What do you wanna’ do. We don’t even have the “B” scene written yet.

DIRECTOR
Maybe we should call the writer.

The DP and Director look at each other for a second and burst into laughter.

Victor smacks the director in the ass as he walks by with Alice:

VICTOR
Takin’ a long lunch boss.

Victor looks as Alice’s ass.

VICTOR
We’re going to um... go over some lines.

The director spots a pair of chains sticking out of Victor’s back pocket.

DIRECTOR
I want those chains back.

Victor shoot’s the director a wink.

DIRECTOR
This is still my picture.

DP
(vampire impersonation)
This is hardly your picture anymore.

They laugh.

DIRECTOR
Ass.

INT. SET -VICTOR’S TRAILOR -LATER

Typical movie star trailor -- underwear strewn across the floor.

Alice straddles Victor and gyrates.

The same CHAINS tie his wrists to the bedpost.

Alice’s eyes roll into the back of her head as she lets out a deep sigh of ecstacy.

WHACK -- A baseball bat knock’s Alice clean off of Victor and onto the floor.

VICTOR
Holy fvck! What..

VICTOR’S WIFE stands over Alice’s body.

She tosses her engagement ring onto Victor’s stomach.

Alice’s EYES once again stare vacantly at the ceiling.

Victor struggles against the chains.

VICTOR
What the fvck Mariana? What are you doing?

MARIANA
What am I doing? What am I doing!?

VICTOR
I think you killed her.

Mariana stares down upon Alice -- spits on her.

Mariana pins Victor to bed with the baseball bat and rubs Victor’s groin with the other hand.

VICTOR
You’re crazy. You’re fvcking crazy.

MARIANA
I know. I know. Yo se’.

Mariana continues to rub his groin.

MARIANA
Still hard. I think you’re the sick one.

She rubs the bloody bat across his lips.

MARIANA
Silencio mi amor.

She forces his mouth open with the bat and straddles him.

[Adam Isaac]

GRAND THEFT (3 of 3)

The CHAINS hold fast.

MARIANA
Let’s talk about truth. Hard...

She thrusts her hips.

MARIANA
...Simple...

Another thrust.

MARIANA
...Truth.

VICTOR
Mariana...

MARIANA
I said: Silence.

The taps his teeth with the bat.

Victor screams...

SET -BUFFET LINE -CONTINUOUS

The director piles cold Salami onto a plate.

The DP licks donut frosting from his fingers.

Victor’s muffled scream echoes across the set.

DIRECTOR
Wow. They’re really getting into it.

DP
Better hope his wife doesn’t find out. That bitch is crazy.

VICTOR’S TRAILOR

MARIANA
Shhhhhhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. It’ll all be over soon.

Mariana looks into Alice’s eyes as she rides Victor.

MARIANA
She was pretty. She lied to me too.

Mariana stops moving.

MARIANA
You’re soft. You can do it for her but not for me?

She smears blood onto his cheek with the tip of the bat.

VICTOR
No. Mariana no. I love you Maraina.
Mariana raises the bat over her head.

MARIANA
I love you too.

FADE OUT.

[Adam Isaac]

BEIJING DETECTIVE: A MUSICAL (1 of 3)
J Off Course
EXT. A WELL-HEELED RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT, BEIJING CHINA -- DUSK

Two statues, a nude god and goddess, both cloaked in black soot.
A team of five Beijing POLICE OFFICERS climb steps past the statues.
Blue lights from several patrol cars and a fire truck flash with urgency behind them.

The officers stop amidst the smoldering debris of a MANSION in blackened ruin.

One of the officers stands in front of a large gold-leaf mirror; cracked and seared by heat.
He removes one of his gloves and adjusts his tie in the milky reflection.

DETECTIVE LI QIU is impeccably tailored but it is his nose that turns your head. It's as though a modern-day Cyreno found love in the far east and bore a child.

A female hand touches his arm. This is KOY; mouse to Li Qiu's slinky cat.

KOY
Detective Li Qiu, paramedics would
like to transport the neighbor to the
hospital for minor smoke inhalation.

LI QIU
Have you a statement
from him?

KOY
We have.

The officers make their way, stepping over debris towards the back of the ruins towards a large deck area and pool.

KOY
The neighbor said when he was
aware of the approaching fire, he
thought he should warn his neighbor,
Mr. Ling. He found the door open
but noone seemed to be at home.

She points in one direction.

KOY
His bedroom was down that hallway.
The neighbor found Mr. Ling on his bed
in a state of undress in a pool of blood
from what appeared to be several deep
stab wounds.

Li Qiu notices a painting barely singed by the fire. A beautiful young woman in a red dress. He touches the painting with an index finger. The oils reinvigorated by the heat leave a stain on his glove.

KOY
From Ling's bedroom window, the neighbor
said he could see the fire jumping roofs and
trees. He was frantic and called
emergency from Ling's phone.

They arrive on the deck area where the skeletal
remains of shubbery surround a large swimming pool.
Koy motions to some PARAMEDICS and an officer
to escort the NEIGHBOR, a handsome middle-aged
man, away.

As they do so, Li Qiu notices the man's pull-over
sweater seems to ride up on his forearms as though too small for him.

KOY
He didn't want Ling's body to be
destroyed in the fire so he managed to
pick it up and got as far as he could
before he realized he couldn't escape
himself with the burden.

Officers gather at one end of the deck.
They struggle to pull up the victim's body from the debris-strewn pool.
LING, a beautiful, long-haired young man is brought out with his arms outstretched. His life-less, nude body covered in gashes.

Li Qiu stares.


LI QIU
Michaelangelo would have painted
him, minus the over-fed officers of
our fourth precinct.


EXT. BEIJING CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT--NIGHT

New skyscrapers in glittering sterility.

INT. LI QIU's POLICE CAR --NIGHT

Light from buildings reflect in neon waves across the windshield.

Li Qiu drives as Koy beside him speaks quietly on a cell phone.

Koy turns to him.

KOY
The neighbor has checked out fine.
We'll keep him under surveillance.
Ling's girlfriend has been located and has
just returning to her condo unit.

Koy punches in an address on the car's navigation system.

EXT. SWANK GARDEN CONDO COMPLEX --NIGHT

A black mercedes pulls into the parking lot.
A beautiful, sexy young woman, the same in the mansion's painting steps out of it.
This is JIA, in short skirt and leather jacket.

She walks down an open corrider with her keys dangling in one hand and shopping bags in another.

A noise makes her halt. She puts her bags down.

She opens her cellphone and points the dim light in a dark corner where two yellowish eyes stare back at her. A CAT purrs on a nearby ledge.

Jia detaches a little furry mouse toy from her keys and dangles it in front of the cat.

Li Qiu in the shadows startles her.

LI QIU
A bounty without the hunt
makes a lazy cat.

Jia turns as Li Qiu flashes a badge beside Koy.

LI QIU
Detective Li Qiu and this is officer
Koy. Our condolences, but we must
have a word with you.


End of part one.

[Adam Isaac]

BEIJING DETECTIVE: A MUSICAL (2 of 3)


INT. JIA'S CONDO LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

The three in a spare modern living space.
Jia excuses herself and tosses her scarf towards a sofa but it misses.
Li Qiu picks it up and brings it to his nose.

LI QIU
Dior.

INT. JIA'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

Jia seated on a stool, sheds her clothes. A tear drops from her cheek and catches between two perky breasts and continue sliding down past a pierced belly button and towards a downy crevice to glisten as black panties slide up to cover it.

INT. JIA'S LIVING ROOM --NIGHT

Jia sits clothed in mourning black at a baby grand.

Li Qiu and Koy stand nearby.

A BEAT

Jia studies a framed photograph of Ling on the piano.

She sings, (Million Dollar Girl. Links to music at end of script)

JIA
NOT A SECOND OF THE DAY WENT BY
WHEN HE DIDN'T TRY TO BUY HER
WITH HIS MONEY, NEW CARS, NEW CLOTHES
HOPE TO SET A FIRE
WITH HIS KISS, WITH HIS TOUCH,
AND NOTHING WAS TOO MUCH.

She taps lightly at the piano keys, then slams
them in emotion.
She gets up and goes to a window.

MILLION DOLLAR GIRL
HOLDS OUT FOR MORE
LINES HER POCKETS WITH BROKEN DREAMS.
HE GAVE HER EVERYTHING HE COULD,
BUT THE LOVE SHE HOPED HE WOULD,
MILLION DOLLAR GIRL.

KOY
So, you've been shopping the
entire day?

She nods and looks at Li Qiu.

JIA
Detective, have you ever loved
so much you could kill?

Li Qiu shakes his head.

JIA
Neither have I or I wouldn't
still be here.
YOU'VE GOT PLENTY,
THERE'S THE DOOR.

INT. LI QIU'S POLICE CAR -- NIGHT

Li Qiu and Koy in the car in the parking lot.
Li Qiu notices the shadow of the cat scurrying
across a wall with the toy mouse in its mouth.
He then looks at Jia's Mercedes nearby.

The car radio quietly broadcasts local news.

RADIO
Fire today which appears to have
started from the roof of a pottery
factory swept to a nearby neighborhood
of expensive homes. No major injuries
reported.

LI QIU
Remember that nuisance call
you mentioned a few days ago?
That homeless rat catcher who
was seen getting into a black
mercedes?

KOY
Yes, with a gas can.

INT. POLICE STATION QUESTIONING ROOM --NIGHT

An old man in heavy winter coat and white beard, known on the streets as THE BEAR. He sits at a table with Li Qiu, Koy and two officers standing on the other side.

The Bear sings... (Ask The Bear)

THE BEAR
THANKS FOR THE CHAIR
BEEN TOO LONG ON MY FEET TODAY,
CATCHING RATS WEARS YOU DOWN BUT
IT'S PAY.

COLD ON THE STREET,
ALL SO WARM IN YOUR QUESTION ROOM.
HANGING LIGHT LIKE A STAR CLEARS THE
GLOOM.

YOU BROUGHT ME HERE,
I'VE GOT THE ANSWERS YOU THINK,
SO GO AHEAD, BUT I'LL BE CLEAR,
I'VE HAD PLENTY TO DRINK.

SO ASK THE BEAR WHATEVER YOU WILL,
ASK THE BEAR IF HE'S LIKELY TO KILL,
WELL, HE MIGHT FOR A COT AND A MEAL,
FOR THE BEARS' BEEN SWIMMING ALL NIGHT.

I can surely feel the heat in this room.
Global warming don't have a thing over
all those shiny badges.

Li Qiu studies the bear's bag of rat poison as Koy hands him a photograph of Jia.

THE BEAR
She had me fill a gas can. She
gave me a ride and a generous
tip. I remember she'd kicked off
her heels to drive. Old men still
blush, you know.

End of part Two

[Adam Isaac]

BEIJING DETECTIVE: A MUSICAL (3 of 3)


INT. LI QIU'S MOVING POLICE CAR --MORNING

Koy is on the cellphone.

KOY
The bank has confirmed a million
dollars was withdrawn from a joint
account by Ling's girlfriend two days
ago.

The car pulls into Jia's condo complex. Her black
Mercedes is parked there.

EXT. JIA'S CONDO COMPLEX -- MORNING

Koy knocks at Jia's door but there is no answer.

LI QIU
Wait here, I'm going around back.

Li Qiu makes his way down an open corrider.
He climbs a low stone wall and squeezes
through some shubbery.

Before him a plume of smoke from a barbecue.

Jia stands shivering by a gas can staring into
the flames.

LI QIU
You were burning yesterday. I could
smell the smoke on your scarf.

He turns.

LI QIU
That's the pottery factory just
there beyond the trees.

JIA
I loved him so. It wasn't about
the money. I had to prove to him
it wasn't the money...

Ash takes flight from the fire.

LI QIU
Wind is the friend of sailor and
fire. Neither of which is easy to
keep within limits.

He steps near her.

LI QIU
I noticed the neighbor's sweater
was too small as though he just
grabbed whatever was near and
pulled it on. It was Ling's wasn't it?
You must have known about them.

Jia's face begins to crumble in emotion.

LI QIU
The neighbor wasn't certain the fire
would reach the house and destroy
evidence of what he'd done, but he
thought it certain the pool water would
kill any trace of his semen.

JIA
HE GAVE ME EVERYTHING HE COULD,
BUT THE LOVE SHE HOPED HE WOULD.

A hundred dollar bill half-burned away flutters in the air above the fire.

Li Qiu takes out a handkerchief from his coat pocket and gently wipes the tears from Jia's cheeks.

LI QIU
It has been decreed that burning
refuse in the city shall halt until
after the Olympics.

The two alone. The smoke from the fire rising in the air between them to fade anonymously into a camel-skin sky.

FADE OUT

[Adam Isaac]

:rolling::rolling:

BEIJING DETECTIVE: THE SOUNDTRACK

http://media.putfile.com/Million-Dollar-Girl

http://media.putfile.com/Ask-The-Bear

http://media.putfile.com/Beijing-Detective-Theme

[ylekot43]

I think the deadline is too far away. Some of us need a deadline breathing down our necks to get anything done.

[IndieMe]

I'll be submitting two hopefully.

Just have to cut down each one from 15 pages to 7. I hope they will still be understandable after having being trimmed with a chainsaw. :)

[Mister Q]

I've got a good idea for one but it's so gross that a) I think the Mods might disapprove and b) I'm not sure I want to be known as the guy who came up with that filth.

Hmmm, what should I do?

[Adam Isaac]

Still expecting around (10) more from people who are waiting till the last minute.

I may move the deadline up (4) days. I'll decide by tomorrow.

[Jcorona]

I've got a good idea for one but it's so gross that a) I think the Mods might disapprove and b) I'm not sure I want to be known as the guy who came up with that filth.

Hmmm, what should I do?

The topic is sex and murder, Mister Q. Blame Adam. :D

Have you seen PLANET OF THE APES?

Corona

[dpaterso]

Just have to cut down each one from 15 pages to 7. I hope they will still be understandable after having being trimmed with a chainsaw. :)
Split it into two separate scripts, search/replace the character names in the second script so they're different from the first, and submit both. Everyone will think you're arty because the stories are disjointed as hell. No need to thank me, I'm here for you.

I've got a good idea for one but it's so gross that a) I think the Mods might disapprove and b) I'm not sure I want to be known as the guy who came up with that filth.
Hmmm, what should I do?
But now we know how filthy you are, you've just admitted it, so you might as well go ahead and do it, you beast. Worst that can happen is the thread gets moderated, right? Tho' Adam has been posting adult content warnings where appropriate.

Have you seen PLANET OF THE APES?
Hell yes I know what you mean, those ape-women were hot, weren't they? Ooh la la baby, shake that hairy primate ass! Er... that is what you mean?

-Derek

[Adam Isaac]

Simians!

[Jcorona]

Hell yes I know what you mean, those ape-women were hot, weren't they? Ooh la la baby, shake that hairy primate ass! Er... that is what you mean?

Dp, yup, but I hate to break it to you if you don't know already, that was make-up they had on. I seen Charlton Heston after.

Have you ever tried to get up close to the TV and peek under an ape's skirt? I haven't.

Corona

[IndieMe]

I've got a good idea for one but it's so gross that a) I think the Mods might disapprove and b) I'm not sure I want to be known as the guy who came up with that filth. Hmmm, what should I do?
Don't worry about it. My two scripts feature masturbation, rape and beheadings.
...There's a reason I don't use my real name here. What would my family think? :D

[theblondewritr]

LOL- that's all I have to 'say'...I mean 'type'. Minus the sex and murder, things are going well with my entry. Adam, please don't move the deadline (no pun intended) up. My .02 :(

[Adam Isaac]

Alright. See, I know there are a lot of writers entering who aren't able to technically write full-time, so that's the reason behind the lax deadline. I have a personal schedule for my: feature scripts, comic scripts, and my short story anthology--plus my regular job six days a week. Assembling a solid short takes me about 8-10 full hours of writing time. I haven't had time to put these hours in yet, and would assume I'm not the only one.

The deadline is also set at 25 days because I wanted your best efforts; rather than your quickest. This varies depending on how fast you find a story to tell. In no way am I saying if you turned your's in the first or second day it isn't your best effort.

Everyone has different schedules, so I'm accommodating part-time and full-time writers.

I'll move up the voting date by a couple of days.

I know of at least (4) writers who are very busy, but are still planning on entering. Add in mine and that makes (5). There's probably going to be a lot of submissions next week that I don't even know about. We'll leave things as they are as far as submission deadlines, and shorten the voting deadline since reading is always quicker than writing.

[OzFade]

I still want to enter but I just don't have the time.

[dpaterso]

Heck it's only the 19th. Plenty of time! :eek: I'm working on mine, just shrinking it down a tad...

-Derek

[Adam Isaac]

DATE NIGHT (1 OF 2)
RyPA


FADE IN:

INT. UPSCALE HOUSE – NIGHT

EMERELL GOLDSTEIN (40’s) throws open the front door.

EMERELL
Honey, I’m home!

A FRYING PAN WHIZZES PAST HIS HEAD - -

EMERELL
--The hell?

MARYBETH GOLDSTEIN (40’S) appears in the kitchen doorway wielding a whisk.

MARYBETH
You’re late for dinner you sonofabitch!

Emerell slowly looks down at his watch.

EMERELL
It’s three past seven…

MARYBETH
This is the one night all week we get to spend together and you’re not on time! You don’t respect me!

A solitary tear falls down her cheek. Emerell rolls his eyes.

EMERELL
Ah, lovey-dovey, I’m sooo sorry. Can you ever forgive me?

MARYBETH
Don’t patronize me, Mr.!

Emerell loosens his tie, drops his briefcase.

EMERELL
Tell you what. Go make me a plate of chicken, woman.

MARYBETH
‘Scuse me?

EMERELL
And a scotch.

MARYBETH
You bastard.

Emerell ignores her, strolls into - -
LIVING ROOM

MARYBETH
Don’t ignore me.

Emerell sits down on a sofa, takes his shoes off.

EMERELL
You’re hard to ignore anymore, baby. What with that pot-belly.

Marybeth steams.

MARYBETH
Well, since we’re being so straightforward with one another… I’ve been having an affair! How about that?

Emerell stretches his legs, airing out his socks.

EMERELL
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re a whore, what a ****ing surprise.

MARYBETH
With your brother.

EMERELL
My brother?

MARYBETH
And your sister.

Emerell stands and faces her, fists clenched.

EMERELL
I should never have paid for those implants.

MARYBETH
I have needs! And your little prick doesn’t cut it!

EMERELL
It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.

MARYBETH
Well the water’s pretty ****ing placid then.

EMERELL
You’re so loose I’m amazed you feel anything anymore!

MARYBETH
Yeah? And you’re barren. You’re not even a man anymore!

Emerell throws up his hands.

EMERELL
You stabbed my sack with a letter opener, you freak!

MARYBETH
You left the toilet seat up. I warned you countless times!

Emerell loses it. He grabs a vase and HURLS IT AGAINST THE WALL.

Marybeth’s jaw drops. She marches over to the fireplace and picks up an urn.

EMERELL
Don’t you dare…

Marybeth chucks the urn to the floor - - IT EXPLODES IN A CLOUD OF ASH.

EMERELL
That’s my dad!

Marybeth squats down over the ash. She scoops up a handful, lifts it to her nose - - SNOOOORT!

EMERELL
That does it!

Emerell storms into the - -

DINING ROOM

The table has a spread of food for two. Emerell unzips his fly and promptly urinates all over the tablecloth and entrees.

EMERELL
Here’s some seasoning, skank.

[Adam Isaac]

DATE NIGHT (2 of 2)


Marybeth stares in horror. She lets out a PRIMAL YELL and runs into the - -

KITCHEN

She grabs an eight-inch chief knife, eyes wild with anger.

DINING ROOM

Emerell throws a salt-shaker at Marybeth as she reappears in the doorway.

CLUNK - - It ricochets off her forehead.

Marybeth lunges at Emerell, thrusting the knife and ripping his suit-jacket.

Emerell tears the jacket off. He swings it in front of him, keeping his spouse at bay.

She side steps the coat and swings down - - CHOPPING EMERELL’S PINKY OFF.

He HOWLS in pain, clutching his hand.

Marybeth thrusts again - - Emerell grabs her hand and throws her into a gun cabinet - - GLASS CRASHES, CUTTING HER FACE.

EMERELL
Guess you’ll need some more work done, huh?

She turns and flings the knife at her husband - -

- - Emerell grabs a plate, deflects the projectile.

Marybeth picks up a chair, holds it over her head.

MARYBETH
I guess you should know I was the one who killed your dog.

EMERELL
My Fluffy?

MARYBETH
Yes, your Goddamned Fluffy!!

SHE HURLS THE CHAIR, KNOCKING EMERELL OFF HIS FEET.

He lands hard in the doorway, dazed. Marybeth strolls over and grabs the sliding door to the kitchen. She SLAMS it repeatedly on his head.

MARYBETH
Quit.. bleeding.. on.. the.. floor!

Emerell kicks out, connects with Marybeth’s stomach. She falls backwards, CRACKING her head on the table.

Emerell wipes blood out of his eyes, gets up.

EMERELL
Well I posted explicit photos of you on the internet! Ha!

He dives on top of his wife, wraps his hands around her throat.

DING-DONG!

They both look up at the doorbell.

Emerell releases his grip. They rise to their feet, dust off and straighten their clothes. Then glare at the interruption.

Marybeth heads over and opens the door.

EXT. HOUSE

STANLEY GOODWIN (60’s) stands outside, worried. He looks at the nasty cuts on Marybeth. Then glances at Emerell in the background, busy wrapping his head in gauze.

STANLEY
Is everything okay? Gurdy thought she heard quite a ruckus over here.

INT. HOUSE
Marybeth grabs Stanley’s ear and drags him inside.

STANLEY
Hey, oww!

MARYBETH
I can’t stand nosey neighbors!

She shoves him towards Emerell who punches him in the gut, followed by a knee to the head.

Marybeth jumps on Stanley’s back and chokes him. He claws at her arms but soon loses consciousness and falls to the floor, dead.

Marybeth releases her iron grip.

MARYBETH
Some people.

Emerell smiles, brushing Marybeth’s hair out of her face.

EMERELL
I want you so bad right now.

Marybeth rips open her blouse and reveals a pair of badly lacerated breasts.

MARYBETH
Me too. Just put our neighbor in the freezer and come up to bed.

She moves to the stairs, Emerell hesitates.

EMERELL
Vacuum my dad and we got a deal.

FADE OUT:

[Mark Twain Weck]

SURPRISE!! I'm Ba-ack!!:bounce:

Hello all my Done Deal Buddies.:D

Bloody Hell! I go away for a few months and come back to this.

Blood'n'guts all over the place.:eek: I see I've got some work to do.

I got a little something cookin' for this bloodfest but it seems a bit lame by the standards set so far.

Never mind. It should be good for a giggle or a smirk. Stay tuned.

By the way... Way to go Derek with your Phoenix Agenda. Good one. Is it out on DVD yet?

Mark.

[Adam Isaac]

MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING (1 of 3)
(Adult content)
dpaterso

FADE IN:

EXT. STRIP CLUB - NIGHT

Topped by a naked girl in pink neon, whose big boobies blink
on and off.


INT. STRIP CLUB STAGE - NIGHT

Close on big boobies, owned by the hottest brunette you ever
saw. SANDI, 20s, performs a slow, sensual strip.

Her audience, BUSINESSMEN and HUSBANDS, silently watch her.


INT. BACK STAIRS - NIGHT

TWO BOUNCERS on the landing watch MATTY climb upstairs.
Matty's so good-looking he's pretty, he dresses impeccably,
his hair's immaculate.

MATTY
Mr. Grogan is expecting me.

The Bouncer opens the door, Matty goes inside. The Bouncer
closes the door and sniffs the air in disgust.

BOUNCER
Jeez, is that freakin' pansy wearing
after-shave or perfume?


INT. GROGAN'S OFFICE - NIGHT

GROGAN, 40s, a shark in a silk suit, rises to greet Matty.

GROGAN
Hey Matty, thanks for coming.

MATTY
What can I do for you, Mr. Grogan?

GROGAN
Let me show you something.

Grogan opens window blinds. His office looks down onto the
strip club stage. There's Sandi, wearing just a G-string,
shaking her big boobies at the hypotized audience.

MATTY
Oh, my. Can we spell "slutty"?

GROGAN
She's my fiancée.

MATTY
She's a very talented girl.

GROGAN
I gotta go out tonight. It's
business, I can't take Sandi with
me. I need someone to protect her.

MATTY
You think her life is in danger?

Grogan snaps the blinds shut.

GROGAN
The only thing that's in danger is
every man in the room, whenever Sandi
walks in. I trust my guys. But
Sandi's like an electrical storm.
She blows men's fuses. Makes them
go crazy.

Grogan glances significantly at Matty.

GROGAN
Most men, anyway.

MATTY
I'm surprised you allow her to dance.

GROGAN
She says if I don't, she'll get a
job somewhere else. Sure, I could
strong-arm her, but I want her to be
here of her own free will. Yeah, I
know that sounds sappy. Go ahead
and laugh, I don't care.

MATTY
I think she's fortunate to have such
an understanding person in her life.

Grogan shrugs and nods, modestly taking the compliment.

MATTY
So you want me to look after her?

GROGAN
Just till I get back. Take her out
somewhere. Entertain her.

Grogan gives a wad of cash to Matty.

GROGAN
Don't let her out of your sight,
okay?

MATTY
You can count on me, Mr. Grogan.


INT. MATTY'S CAR - NIGHT

Matty drives through slick neon city streets. Sandi looks
gorgeous in a tight black dress. She eyes Matty, curious.

SANDI
How long have you known Groggy?

MATTY
Oh, quite a while. Mr. Grogan and
my old boss were friends.

SANDI
Where are we going?

MATTY
I thought we'd hit a couple of clubs.

SANDI
Take me where you usually go.

Matty thinks about that for a moment.

MATTY
All right.


INT. DANCE CLUB - NIGHT

Thumping dance music, dazzling lights, a dancing CROWD,
predominantly semi-naked male. Among them, Matty and Sandi
dance. She goes at it with wild abandon, drawing smiles
from other dancers.

Watching them from the bar area, a smoking hot BLONDE and
her three PALS. Sandi notices the scrunity. A look of mutual
dislike crackles between Sandi and the Blonde.

Sandi leans close to speak to Matty. He nods. Sandi heads
for the LADIES ROOM. A good-looking GUY slides into Sandi's
place to dance with Matty, who doesn't mind at all.


INT. LADIES ROOM - NIGHT

Sandi touches up her make-up in the mirror. The dance music
swells as the door opens and the Blonde and her three Pals
enter. The last girl shuts the door, cutting off the music.

Their eyes meet in the mirror. The Blonde holds up a flick-
knife. The blade SNAPS open. Sandi just smiles.

[Adam Isaac]

MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING (2 of 3)
(Adult content)

INT. DANCE CLUB - OUTSIDE LADIES ROOM - NIGHT

A very concerned Matty pushes through the curious CROWD that's
formed outside the door. He squeezes inside.


INT. LADIES ROOM - NIGHT

Matty enters, stops, looks around. The Blonde and her Pals
lie scattered on the floor. Red spatter on the walls, on
the floor, everywhere.

Sandi leans over a sink, washing her face. Matty spins her
round. She's OK, there's not a mark on her.

MATTY
The hell happened here?

SANDI
Blondie and her cute little friends
wanted to play rough.

A SECURITY GUY kneels and turns the Blonde over. Her face
has been slashed. Security Guy looks at Sandi. She smiles
and waves the flick-knife. Matty grabs the knife.

MATTY
Come on, we're leaving.

SECURITY GUY
You ain't going nowhere.

Matty straight-fingers Security Guy in the throat, kicks him
in the nuts, chops him on the neck. Security Guy goes down
like a felled tree. Matty drags Sandi out of there.


INT. DANCE CLUB - OUTSIDE LADIES ROOM - NIGHT

Matty and Sandi push through the crowd.


EXT. PARKING LOT OUTSIDE DANCE CLUB - NIGHT

Sandi leans against Matty's car, arms folded. Matty hurries
outside, he's got something hidden inside his jacket.

SANDI
About time.

MATTY
Get in!

They climb in, Matty starts the engine and zooms out of there.


INT. MATTY'S CAR - NIGHT

Driving, Matty dumps cassette tapes on Sandi's lap.

MATTY
I got the security tapes.

SANDI
I can see why Groggy likes you.
You're a very useful person to have
around.

MATTY
I can see why he told me not to let
you out of my sight. You're one
crazy bitch.

SANDI
Yes I am. Does it turn you on?

Matty just drives. Sandi lights a smoke, closes her eyes.

SANDI
Do you know where Groggy's going
tonight? Did he tell you?

MATTY
He just said it was business.

SANDI
He wants to marry me but he won't
tell me things. I have to find out
from other people. Twenty million
dollars. Shh, I'm not supposed to
know.

MATTY
What are you talking about?

SANDI
He's collecting money he's owed.
That's a lot of zeroes, huh?

MATTY
I guess.

SANDI
Drugs money. Whore money. Blood
money. He's so sweet, but he won't
tell me nothing. It's like he doesn't
trust me. I had to screw Jimmy to
find out about the twenty million.
A man shouldn't keep secrets from
his fiancée. Don't you think?

MATTY
A fiancée shouldn't screw other guys.

SANDI
I can get past the guards. Surprise
him before he puts it in his safe.
You and me. Ten million each. What
do you say?

MATTY
I think you're nuts. Why me?

SANDI
Because you don't work for Groggy.
Because you can handle yourself.
And because I trust you.

She strokes his sleeve, feeling the material.

SANDI
And because ten million would buy a
lot of good-looking suits.

Matty thinks about this, long and hard.


INT. GROGAN'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Grogan opens the door and turns on the lights. He carries a
fat attaché case to his desk. He swings a hinged painting
aside to reveal a wall safe, which he opens. He opens the
attaché case and smiles at stacks of money.

SANDI (O.S.)
Hi honey, I'm home.

Sandi points a gun at Grogan.

GROGAN
Bad idea, baby. Put that away unless
you really want to get hurt.

BLAM! Sandi smiles at Grogan through the cloud of gunsmoke.

Grogan touches his chest, inspects the blood on his hand.

GROGAN
Stupid. Bitch. How far do you think
you'll get? How far...

Grogan collapses, dead as a wooden duck.

[Adam Isaac]

MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING (3 of 3)
(Adult content)

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

The Bouncer comes running, but Matty steps out and beats the
Bouncer to a bloody pulp, smashing him down. Sandi arrives
with the attaché case.

MATTY
What happened to Grogan?

SANDI
We broke up. Let's get out of here.


INT. MATTY'S CAR - NIGHT

Speeding through the neon city. Sandi turns to Matty. She
places her hand on his crotch.

SANDI
I knew it was an act. Pull over.


EXT. MATTY'S CAR - DARK ALLEYWAY - NIGHT

The car rocks on its springs, Sandi GASPS with each bounce.

SANDI (V.O.)
Oh yeah baby. That feels real good.

BLAM! As the gunshot sound fades, the car stops rocking.

FADE OUT

[Adam Isaac]

UNTITLED (1 of 3)

habronic
INT. MAX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Opulent and gaudy, Donald Trump would love it.

MAXWELL SHUFFLER III, mid-20s, dressed in nothing but boxer
shorts, a policewoman's hat, and clutching an orange
traffic cone, snores loudly as he sleeps on his Italian
leather sofa. He's a Trust-fund baby to the Nth degree.

His cellphone rings, the dulcet tones of 50 Cent's "In Da
Club" assault our ears.

Max stirs, looks at the clock on the wall and groans:
4:22AM. He checks the caller ID before he answers.

MAX
Babe, it's like four o'clock in
the morning. This better be--

He sits bolt upright.

MAX (CONT'D)
Wait, just calm down. Give me a
minute to... Give me a minute to
wake up here, okay?

He reaches for a cigarette, lights it, takes a deep drag.

MAX (CONT'D)
Alright, now define terrible.



INT. LIVING ROOM - ABBY'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Sparse, but tasteful. ABIGAIL STICKLEY, a gorgeous, girl
next-door type in her mid-20s, sits on her couch, staring
off into space as she absent-mindedly chews on her
fingernails--

--A knock at the door. Abby jumps, startled by the noise.

She moves to the door, peers through the eyehole. She
sighs in relief, opens the door.

On the other side stands Max. She throws her arms around
him in a tight hug.

MAX
It's okay, babe, I'm here now.

Max shuts the front door. Abby paces back and forth in the
middle of the room.

MAX (CONT'D)
I always thought it was bad luck
for the groom to see the bride
before the wedding.

ABBY
This isn't exactly the best time
for your jokes, Max. I'm
slightly unhinged here.

Max stops her, grabs her shoulders.

MAX
Yeah, I can see that. Now, tell
me what you've done that's so bad
you gotta drag me over here in
the middle of the night.

Abby leads him around the corner to the hallway--



INT. HALLWAY - ABBY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

The lights are out, it's too dark to see. Max gropes the
wall for the light switch, flicks it on--

--A WOMAN, mid-20s, lies motionless on the plastic hall
runner. A thick, jagged gash runs along the left side of
her head, long blonde hair matted with sticky, red blood.

Max covers his mouth in shock as he sees her. He turns to
look at Abby, but she won't meet his gaze.

He slowly creeps forward, touches the woman's shoulder. He
pushes her, twists her onto her back. Blonde hair covers
her face. He brushes the strands aside to see who it is--

--He jumps back like he's been zapped with a cattle prod.

MAX
Oh my God. It's Rachel.
(he looks at Abby)
You've-You've killed one of the
bridesmaids.



INT. LOUNGE ROOM - ABBY'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Abby sits on the couch. Max paces back and forth.

MAX
Start from the beginning. We'll
get your story straight, then
we'll call one of Dad's lawyers.

ABBY
I was asleep, there was a knock
at the door. I answered it, and
there she was. She came in and
she started talking about how you
loved each other, and how you
were going to run away together.

MAX
What? She said that? That's
crazy.

ABBY
That's what I thought. Then she
told me I wasn't going to get in
the way of her happiness and she
attacked me. I don't remember
much, but we fought and in the
middle I grabbed your baseball
bat and I hit her over the head
with it. I didn't-I didn't think
I hit her that hard--

MAX
Wait. My baseball bat?

[Adam Isaac]

UNTITLED (2 of 3)

INT. KITCHEN - ABBY'S HOUSE - NIGHT


A metal baseball bat, wrapped hastily in yesterday's
newspaper, sits in the middle of the table. Smears of
blood, chunks of sinew, and strands of long blonde hair
decorate the top of the bat.

MAX
I thought I'd lost it.

ABBY
You forgot it last Tuesday.

MAX
Oh God, Abby. It'll have my
fingerprints all over it. I'm a
Shuffler, I can't be caught up in
something like this.

ABBY
The police won't think--

MAX
--Yes, they will. They'd love to
charge someone like me with this.
Get their names in the paper. Oh
God, father would cut me off...

ABBY
Then maybe we can...

MAX
Maybe we can what?

ABBY
We could hide it. Like on CSI.

MAX
No. No, we can't do that.
(beat)
And don't they always get caught
on that show?

ABBY
I know how to do it right.

MAX
This isn't TV land, Abby.

She grabs his face in her hands, looks him dead in the eye.

ABBY
Trust me.



EXT. CEMETERY - DAWN

A Peaceful and quiet corner of the cemetery. Tucked in the
back, hidden from the view of the road, an empty, pre-dug
grave.

Max walks towards it, slung over his left shoulder is
Rachel's body, wrapped up in the plastic hall-runner. In
his right hand he carries a heavy, metal shovel.

Abby walks alongside him, a workman's bag slung across her
chest, a bag of lye clutched in her arms.



EXT. EMPTY GRAVE - CEMETERY - DAWN

Max dumps the body next to the grave.

MAX
How'd you know there'd be an
empty one?

ABBY
I didn't. But I figured most
people get buried on the weekend,
and they usually dig them the day
before.

Max grabs the shovel, eases himself down into the grave.

MAX
I don't think this is gonna work.

ABBY
We dig down another couple of
feet, put her body in, dump the
lye in and fill the dirt over the
top.
They bury the guy today and then
it's just another grave in a
cemetery full of them. No one
will ever know.

Max looks up at her with trepidation.

ABBY (CONT'D)
There's nothing to worry about.
I can keep a secret if you can.

Max nods his consent. His shovel bites into the thick,
dark dirt of the grave's floor.



EXT. EMPTY GRAVE - CEMETERY - DAWN

A large mound of dirt sits next to the grave. Max, his
shirt stained and sweaty, throws the shovel out of the
grave.

Abby drags the body to the edge, grabs the end of the hall
runner and pushes the body into the grave. The corpse
spins like a top as it tumbles, Max tries to catch it, but
it lands awkwardly on the grave floor.

He looks up at Abby, disgusted.

MAX
Give her some dignity at least.

He moves her into a more restful looking pose, straightens
out her legs, closes her eyes. He stares at her face.

MAX (CONT'D)
I don't think this is right,
Abby. We can't do this to her--

--Plane tickets and passports, wrapped in a plastic cover,
land on the ground beside him. Max picks them up, realises
what they are. He turns to look up at Abby--

--In her glove-covered hands a snub-nosed .38 and a potato.

She shoves the potato onto the muzzle of the gun.

[Adam Isaac]

UNTITLED (3 of 3)

MAX (CONT'D)
What're you-What're you doing?

ABBY
Did you think I was just another
one of your stupid bimbos, Max?
Did you think I wouldn't find
out?

MAX
Abby, I don't-- Find out what?

ABBY
It seems the travel agent liked
me enough to call to find out why
my fiance was replacing my name
with someone else's on our
honeymoon tickets.

MAX
She-She rang you? Abby, it-it's
not what you think.

ABBY
What I think, Max, is that you
were planning to ditch me at the
altar and run away with one of my
best friends.

MAX
Abby, it wasn't like that--

ABBY
No? What was it like then?

He's at a loss for words.

ABBY (CONT'D)
I invited her over last night,
tried to make her confess. No
matter what I did to her she
still wouldn't tell me the truth.
In her own way I think she really
did love you. It almost made me
feel sad when I had to bash her
skull in with your baseball bat.

MAX
Abby...

ABBY
Your father told me you'd done
this before. But I had hoped
that I could change your wicked
ways.

Abby cocks the hammer, points the gun at Max.

MAX
Abby, please. I love you...

ABBY
What do you know about love?

She shoots him, right through the heart. He drops to the
grave floor, dead.

She quickly opens her bag, puts on a breathing mask and a
pair of goggles. She drops the bag of lye in the grave and
slowly climbs down.



INT. GOTHIC CHURCH - DAY

High ceilings, granite pillars, wooden pews. A stunning
stained glass window.

Abby, gorgeous in a white wedding dress, sits on the front
left pew, her head in her hands as she sobs.

GUESTS slowly file out.

MAXWELL SHUFFLER II approaches her cautiously. He places a
hand on her shoulder in support.



INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - SHUFFLER ENTERPRISES BUILDING - DAY

Modern and Corporate. A Large, wooden conference table
dominates the room.

At the end of the table sits Maxwell Shuffler II, looking
pristine and corporate. Across from him is Abby, dressed
down in jeans and a jacket. She looks miserable.

Maxwell slides her a print-out of a travel itinerary. She
picks it up, reads it.

ABBY
Rachel? My Bridesmaid?

MAXWELL SR.
I'm afraid so. They never got on
the plane, but...

He passes her another piece of paper, a cheque. Abby reads
it -- $5 million dollars.

MAXWELL SR.
I am so very sorry, my dear. Of
all of them you were my favorite.
I'm getting quite sick and tired
of cleaning up after my son's...
indiscretions.

Abby wipes away a tear, offers a slight smile.

ABBY
Well, perhaps he's learnt his
lesson this time.

[sc111]

Love to enter - may not make the deadline. Still - great contest, Adam. :)

[dpaterso]

Love to enter - may not make the deadline. Still - great contest, Adam. :)
Hey babe, who ya tryin' to kid? <slap, slap> A hot doll like you could write 5 pages with one hand tied behind her back, capiche?

Yo Mark, where ya been?
By the way... Way to go Derek with your Phoenix Agenda. Good one. Is it out on DVD yet?
Thanks! Truth to tell, I... don't know. The piece of string between the UK and Canada seems to have snapped. Damn seagulls!

-Derek

[Arroway]

adam, i've been trying to pm my script for a couple days now but your mail box is full.

i would email it to you but you don't have an address listed.

:confused:

also, how do i make sure the private message preserves my formatting? anyone?

[Adam Isaac]

Sorry, got them all.

Wow! Lot of entries the last two days. Been flossing a 101+ fever the past few days. Sorry for the delay.....LET THERE KILLINGS!!

Posting them now...

[Adam Isaac]

AVON CALLING (1 of 3)
Deacon Blu
FADE IN

EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY

CHELSEA (27) walks briskly up the driveway of a Mac-mansion. She's toting a hard mauve case on wheels. She rings the doorbell. ROBERT BELL (42) a thin good looking man opens the door. He tilts his head and looks at her in disgust.

CHELSEA
Hi, I'm representing Avon. Is the lady of the house in?

Robert holds his stare.

CHELSEA (CONT'D)
Avon sells-

ROBERT
Yes, I know Avon.

Robert's eyes meander to Chelsea's cleavage.

ROBERT (CONT'D)
Sure, come on in.

INT. FOYER

Robert closes the door as he checks out Chelsea's ass.

ROBERT
Wait here.

Robert walks upstairs. Chelsea pulls out her receipt book and flips it open. A flyer drops out. She picks it up.

INSERT FLYER: 30K in sales wins a free trip to the conference in SUNNY FLORIDA!

Chelsea slides the flyer back in her receipt book over a handwritten note circled in red.

HANDWRITTEN NOTE: $384 to go!

Chelsea looks up to see Robert has donned a wig and a dress. Chelsea hugs her mauve case defensively. She steps toward the door. Robert as Roberta speaks in a candy coated falsetto voice.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Hello. I'm Roberta.

Robert as Roberta shakes Chelsea's hand delicately.

CHELSEA
I'm Chelsea.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Let's have some tea. I'm just dying to see what you have to offer.

Robert as Roberta takes Chelsea by the arm and walks her down the hall to the kitchen. He suddenly stops and looks hard into Chelsea's eyes.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA (CONT'D)
Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to go out and buy make-up?

Chelsea is stymied.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Chelsea sits at the dining table. Her back is to the sliding glass door. She is surreptitiously checking to see if it's locked. Robert as Roberta is busy preparing a dainty tea set.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
You know, I need to buy a ton of make-up.

Chelsea's eyes gleam. She looks at Robert as Roberta and smiles.

CHELSEA
Really?

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Oh yes, it takes more and more make-up to keep me looking good these days.

Chelsea sets her purse on the table. She pulls out her receipt book and strokes it thoughtfully.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA (CONT'D)
Do you have a preference?

CHELSEA
Cash.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
For tea dear, for tea.

Chelsea warms to the idea of making a big sale and turns on the charm.

CHELSEA
Oh of course, I'm sorry. Whatever is the least trouble.

Robert as Roberta holds up a milk jug.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Is two percent okay?

CHELSEA
Oh sure.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Robert can't stand skim and there's no way I'm drinking whole and keeping these thighs.

CHELSEA
Robert?

Robert as Roberta points up to the second floor.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
My better half. As much as I hate to admit it.

CHELSEA
I'm sorry. I'm not very worldly, Robert is your...?

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Pain in the tushie.

Robert as Roberta laughs through his nose.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA (CONT'D)
I'm joking of course. He wears the pants and that's fine with me.

Chelsea gives a couple nervous chuckles and takes her coat off. The kettle whistles and Robert as Roberta fills the tea pot and brings the whole set to the table.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA (CONT'D)
I need the works.

Chelsea's eyes light up and they both share a moment of silence that gets shattered when Chelsea's fingers snap open the latches of the mauve case.

[Adam Isaac]

AVON CALLING (2 of 3)

INT. KITCHEN - LATER THAT DAY

Robert as Roberta has a lot of make-up on. He is looking into a hand held mirror comparing the two sides of his face.

CHELSEA
How about nail polish? Let's match to your lipstick.

Chelsea unscrews the top off a bottle and takes the brush-in-cap. She reaches in her kit for a pad of tissues. Robert as Roberta shoves his hand closer and accidently hits the bottle. It falls and spins with a force, splashing deep red polish as it spins.

CHELSEA (CONT'D)
Oops, Not to worry.

Chelsea quickly pulls five tissues out. Robert is captivated by the spill. Chelsea wipes up the polish and smears the tissues with glossy redness. Robert stands up abruptly. His voice drops several octaves.

ROBERT
I have to go.

Robert sprints to the stairs.

CHELSEA
Oh, well okay, I'll just clean this up here then. Don't worry.

Chelsea nervously cleans up the polish. She carries the red stained tissues to the sink. The trash bin isn't under it. She tries a few more cabinets but doesn't find the trash. She spins around and runs into Robert.

CHELSEA (CONT'D)
Oh. Hello.

The wig and the dress are gone. He still has all the make-up on. He's wearing black pants and a wife beater t-shirt. He hits Chelsea in the head. She crumbles to the floor.

INT. SPARE BEDROOM - SOMETIME LATER THAT DAY

Chelsea wakes up and runs to the window. She's on the second floor and it's a sheer drop. She checks the door but it's locked on the outside. She can hear the muffled voices of Robert and Robert as Roberta fighting. She rummages through the desk and finds a letter opener. She works the latch and opens the door.

INT. UPSTAIRS HALL

Chelsea can hear the argument coming from behind the door just at the top of the stairs. It's her only exit so she tip-toes closer; letter opener in her fist.

ROBERT
That bitch is just like the rest!

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
No! She accepts me for who I am!

ROBERT
Because you were going to buy four hundred bucks worth of Avon crap!

Chelsea is almost to the door.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
She's my friend!

ROBERT
Get out of my way ****!

The door rattles. Chelsea turns around and ducks behind the nearest door.

INT. DARK LINEN CLOSET

Chelsea hears a high pitched scream. She hears a door crash open. It sounds like a struggle so Chelsea peeks out.

Robert has his hands around his own neck. His face is almost purple and he's gasping for air. He runs hard into the wall then swings himself down to the floor. He tries to get up but trips and falls backward down the stairs.

Silence.

INT. UPSTAIRS HALL

Chelsea sneaks to the top of the stairs. Robert is lying motionless in a heap by the front door. Chelsea walks down.


INT. FOYER

Chelsea steps over Robert and opens the front door. She stops, turns, and sees through the hall into the kitchen. On the table, her purse, car keys dangling. Chelsea steps back over Robert and tippy-toe-runs to the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN

Chelsea grabs her purse. She looks at her samples spread out on the table and starts throwing make-up back into the kit.

INT. FOYER

Robert groans and rolls over.

[Adam Isaac]

AVON CALLING (3 oF 3)

INT. KITCHEN

Chelsea stops, looks, and panics. She drops what's in her hands, grabs her purse and coat, leaving the sample kit behind she flings open the sliding glass door and runs.

EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY

Chelsea runs around the back of the house to the front. She walks fast down the driveway to the sidewalk and turns left.

Chelsea pulls her keys out and remotely unlocks her car parked further down the street. She flips open her cell phone and dials 9-1-1. She puts it to her ear when a sprinting Robert hurdles the neighbor's hedges and tackles Chelsea. They tumble into the street. Chelsea's cell phone skids to the gutter. Robert climbs on top of her. He's a seething mass of anger.

ROBERT
I'm going to put you off Avon forever!

Robert pulls back his fist to strike. He shudders and blinks hard. He looks around wondering where he is. He has switched into Robert as Roberta. He notices Chelsea squirming.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Oh my God! Chelsea we have to get out of here NOW!

Chelsea swings her arm and knocks Robert as Roberta off her chest then runs to her car. Robert as Roberta shudders and blinks hard again.

Robert growls as he runs after her.

Chelsea gets in her car and locks it. Robert arrives at the passenger's window.

ROBERT
You forgot your kit, Avon bitch!

He punches the window splitting the skin of his knuckles open. Chelsea starts the car. The punching on the window turns to slapping.

ROBERT AS ROBERTA
Let me in, we'll get away together!

Robert as Roberta is frantic. Chelsea puts the car in gear.

Robert jumps on the hood and starts pounding his bloodied fist into the windshield. Chelsea screams and Robert as Roberta screams in harmony as he hangs on for dear life.

Chelsea sees a very large maple tree. She guns it.

Robert senses the danger. He flips over on his back and screams.

The car smashes into the tree. Robert flies off the hood and thuds into the huge maple. He drops back on the hood, then tumbles to the ground.

Chelsea gets out of the car. She peers over the hood to the ground.
Robert is a bloody, broken mess. His mouth mutters something over and over. A whimpering Chelsea kneels down to hear Robert's dying words.

ROBERT
This is Mary Kay territory.

FADE OUT

[Adam Isaac]

MANHOLE (1 of 3)
(Adult Content)
Mark Twain weck

FADE IN:

EXT: CITY STREET – USA – DAY

The street is alive with the hustle and bustle of traffic and pedestrians.

A pavement manhole is exposed and a protective mesh barrier is erected around it. A Works Department vehicle is parked close by.

Sitting with his legs dangling into the hole is... PETE, 25 with curly blonde hair and almost girlish looks.

He looks around at the passing pedestrians, paying particular attention to the women.

He rubs his crotch.

PETE
(lazy Australian drawl)
Aw Geez! I’d kill for a root, Mate.

MALE VOICE (O.S.)
A what?

PETE
A root.

P.O.V. – LOOKING DOWN INTO THE MANHOLE

Inside is another workman, BILL, a big strong African American in his 40’s. With tools in hand, he looks up from his work on an electrical junction box.

BILL
A root of what?

STREET LEVEL...

A gorgeous Honey walks by. Her jeans emphasise her firm butt.

Pete makes obscene gestures at her with his tongue.

PETE
(quietly)
A root of that.
(to Bill)
A root. – You know. Some pu**y. Some arse. A piece of tail. A bit of nookie. – You know. A f**k.

BELOW GROUND...

BILL
A root? Is that what you Ossies call it?

STREET LEVEL...

Pete continues to gaze at passing Babes.

PETE
Aussies. It’s Ozz-zees. Not Ossies.

A Busty Girl walks by.

PETE (cont.)
Christ! Look at the **** on that! Ooooh!

Pete holds his hands as if cupping large breasts.

Busty Girl hears him and hurries on her way.

PETE (cont.)
I thought you’d know all about roots... C*nta Kinte and all that.

BELOW GROUND...

BILL
It’s Kunta. Kunta Kinte. Not C*nta and...

STREET LEVEL...

PETE
Whatever. I’d still kill for some of it. – How about you? Gettin’ any?

BILL
I’m married with three kids. What do you think?

[Adam Isaac]

MANHOLE (2 of 3)
(Adult Content)

STREET LEVEL...

PETE
Probably not.

BELOW GROUND...

Bill’s expression says Pete is probably right.

BILL
Anyway, I thought you were gay or something.

STREET LEVEL...

PETE
Gay!! Christ! I hope not.

BELOW GROUND...

BILL
Hope not? Whaddaya mean, hope not?

STREET LEVEL...

PETE
Well, if I am Mate... Geez, I’ve turned down a lot of roots.

Pete laughs at his own joke.

PETE (cont.)
F*ck me! You oughta see this!

Two Women, twins, absolute stunners, cross the street towards him.

BILL (O.S.)
What?

Pete ogles them.

PETE
Awww. Too much. I’m seein’ double. Aww. I’m dreamin’. Don’t wake me Man. This is beautiful. Awww.

The twins smile sweetly at Pete as they pass.

BILL (O.S.)
How long since you’ve had some, Pete?

Pete stares after the twins as they disappear into the crowd.

PETE
Aww. Forever Mate. But one night with those two and I’d never need it again. I’m tellin’ ya. You shoulda seen ‘em. Awww. I woulda given to them something fierce. Made their eyes bug out. All four of them.

BELOW GROUND

BILL
You really should have more respect for women, Pete. – One day you might have a daughter and...

STREET LEVEL

PETE
Nah. F**k ‘em Mate. That’s all they’re good for. – Have you got a daughter?

BILL (O.S.)
Two.

PETE
How old?

BELOW GROUND

Bill replaces the cover on a junction box and tightens the screws.

BILL
Nineteen and Sixteen but...

PETE (O.S.)
Do they f**k?

Bill freezes.

BILL
Listen Pete. You really want a... a root?

PETE (O.S.)
Yeah! Sure! You gonna line me up with your daughters?

Bill flips the screwdriver around in his hand and makes a stabbing motion with it.

He looks at it with fire in his eyes then calms down.

BILL
I tell you what Pete...

Bill deliberately drops the screwdriver on the ground.

BILL
(cont.)
I’ll get you a f**k you’ll never forget.

PETE (O.S.)
Woo-hoo!!

[Adam Isaac]

MANHOLE (3 of 3)
(Adult Content)

Bill climbs the ladder to...

STREET LEVEL

Pete stands up and backs away from the hole as Bill climbs out.

BILL
This’ll make your eyes pop out. It’ll blow your mind.

PETE
Great! I can’t wait.

BILL
But first – climb down and get my screwdriver.

PETE
No worries.

Pete climbs down into the hole.

PETE (O.S.)(cont.)
(chants)
I’m gonna get some. I’m gonna get some.

BILL
(under his breath)
I’ll give you some all right.

Bill picks the manhole cover up and holds it over his head.

Pete comes back up with the screwdriver and looks up in horror.

Bill slams the cover down on Pete’s head.

BILL
(with satisfaction)
There! Now you’re ****ed.

FADE OUT.

[IndieMe]

I'll send you two in a couple of days. I think the 28th was the deadline. :rolleyes:

I don't know why I'm always late with everything....I do have four shorts to finish this week and I need to stamp out at least fifteen pages on my horror feature. Maybe I'll call in sick on Monday... :D

[Adam Isaac]

XOXOX (1 of 3)
Angeloworx.

FADE IN:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Bored, SAM(30’s) sits alone in his Grand Deluxe room. He watches the clock turn 12:01 to 12:02am.
He picks up the phone.

SAM
Yes, is this concierge? Can you please send up THE WEEKLY to my room? Thanks... Wait! Um...
(beat)
Never mind.

CONCIERGE
(on the phone)
Sir?

SAM
Uh, do you have, you know, any recommendations?

CONCIERGE
(on the phone)
I’ll send up a business card and THE WEEKLY sir.

MINUTES LATER
Sam opens up THE WEEKLY to the back section. He reads ads for ESCORT services. Finds one and reads...
Full of surprises. A time you’ll never forget. Guaranteed. If you’re not satisfied, the next one is in me. STACY XOXOX.

Sam dials in a hurry. As he’s dialing, a business card lays beside the phone. We can only read “BY REFERRAL ONLY.”

EXT. HOTEL ROOM/DOOR - 30 MINUTES LATER
Sam sticks his head out. He pears down an empty hallway.

DING. The SOUND of elevator doors open. Sam closes the door quickly.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Nervous, Sam opens the door again, leaving it open an inch. He changes his mind and closes it. He rushes to the vanity mirror, brushing off lint and straights up his clothes.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

Sam leaps to the door. Pauses and slumps his shoulder. He forces a yawn before opening the door.

On the other side of the door is STACY(20’s)gorgeous brunette carrying a small shiny purse. Sam’s eyes widen.

STACY
Hey sleepy head. Can I come in?

SAM
Come in.

Stacy strolls in. His eyes fixed on Stacy, Sam takes a whiff of her scent as she passes. She catches him from the corner of her eye.

STACY
You like Piña Colada?

SAM
Is that what that is?

As he closes the door behind him, Stacy holds her hand up.

STACY
Wait, I brought a surprise.

In walks another scantily dressed, gorgeous woman, KIM(30’s). This time, a blonde, but it’s obvious it’s not her natural color. She carries a fancy tote bag.

STACY
Meet my friend, Kim.

Sam finds himself confused. He searches his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash halfway out.

SAM
I only ordered one. I mean...

Stacy signals Kim to say “hi.” Kim looks into Sam’s eyes just for a moment.

KIM
(clears her throat)
Ready for a good time?

She’s as nervous as Sam.

IN THE BEDROOM
Stacy lays her things on the night stand and jumps on the bed. Kim sits in the corner chair with her legs crossed.

Sam comes out of the bathroom.

SAM
Business first?

STACY
We can do that later.

SAM
Really? I don’t know how this works so...

STACY
That’s okay baby. Since tonight is slow for us, we have a deal for you, right Kim?

Kim forces a smile.

SAM
I knew it.

STACY
Wait, you haven’t even heard it yet. The deal is, you get me for the regular fare. But you get Kim for free IF...

[Adam Isaac]

XOXOX (2 of 3)

Sam looks over to Kim. Scanning her from head to toe. Kim opens her legs and exposes her lace panties. Sam looks into her eyes, pleased by her exhibition.

STACY
You can make me come inside 30 minutes. Ladies first, right?

SAM
And if I come first?

STACY
Come here.
(beat)
Is this your first time?

Sam avoids her stare as he walks over to the bed. Stacy sits up.

STACY
This is Kim’s first time too. And if you get me off, ****, it’ll be a first for me too.

Sam swallows a dry throat. Stacy unbuckles his belt. She takes out a condom and rips it open with her mouth.

IN BED - 5 MINUTES LATER
Sam and Stacy are tangled up, sweating. His thrusts are getting faster and faster. She moans louder and louder.

Kim watches intently. She takes out her watch. 12:40am.

20 MINUTES LATER
Stacy’s on top. Sam buries his face in her breasts. Arms wrapped tightly around her body.

SAM
****! ****! OH ****!

STACY
Not yet baby! I’m close.

Kim holds her breath. Sam pushes Stacy off him and turns over quickly.

STACY
Let me see.

SAM
I didn’t! I swear.

Stacy turns him over slowly. Checks under the sheets.

SAM
Let me get on top.

She follows obediently. Sam turns to Kim.

SAM
Are you ready for me?

Kim stands up and goes to the bathroom.

INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
The MOANS penetrate through the bathroom door.

Kim stares at her reflection. Breaths heavily. Her lips quivers as she applies red lipstick.

INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Sam slows down his pace. He winces, fighting the inevitable.

SAM
Are you coming or what?

STACY
I’m almost there. Right there baby. Right--

SAM
****, NO!

He releases a deep winded MOAN. His body slumps on hers.

[Adam Isaac]

XOXOX (3 of 3)

SAM
It’s impossible. You’re too good.

Grinning, he pushes up from Stacy's body.

STACY
You’re sweet. If it’s any consolation, you’ve made Kim happy.

SAM
How--

Sam’s body jerks. His grin fades and his eyes water.

SAM
What the hel--

His body jerks again. And again.

At the same time, Kim jabs a switchblade under his ribs. She struggles to pull it out. But as soon as she does, she stabs him again. Repeatedly.

STACY
Okay, okay, he’s dead.
(beat)
****, he’s still--

She slides from underneath and starts gathering her belongings. She wipes the blood from her body and gets dressed.

Kim stands there frozen with the knife in her hands. Her pale face makes her red lips stand out. Sweat glistens on the top of her lip.

Stacy grabs the knife from her and wipes it clean with a tissue. She shoves it in her purse.

STACY
If you’re worried about the sheets, I know the concierge here. She gets 15% of what you give me.

Kim points at her tote bag.

Stacy walks over and opens the bag. It’s full of cash. She closes it back up.

STACY
Do you want me to stay while you take a shower?

No response.

STACY
Wash up okay. I’ll call my clean up crew half an hour from now.
(beat)
Here’s my card. The first time is always weird but believe me...

Stacy pulls out another tissue out of her purse and wipes spattered blood on Kim’s cheek.

STACY
It gets better.

She hands Kim her business card. It reads “BY REFERRAL ONLY - KILLING TIME? WHEN YOUR LIFE NEEDS EXCITEMENT, CALL STACY XOXOX.”

FADE OUT.

[Adam Isaac]

Love to enter - may not make the deadline. Still - great contest, Adam. :)


Much obliged. Going pretty well. Haven't got (30) submissions yet though. Close though. We'll do another DEVIL'S DEADLINE in the Fall(October/November). Maybe Halloween or thereabouts? You can show off your diamond then.:cool:

[Adam Isaac]

SOMETHING WET HAPPENS (1 of 3)
Arroway-Champeen
FADE IN:

EXT. PINE FOREST -- NIGHT

A lone RIDER travels a thin trail on horseback, his hat pulled
low against the wind and rain.

All around him, the Ponderosa pines sway and bow in reverence
to the storm, their needles WHISPERING praise.

A flash of lightning reveals twin Colt Dragoons in his
holsters.

THUNDER ROARS overhead.

The horse bucks!

The Rider topples off. Hits the ground hard.

He watches his horse dissapear into the darkness. He GROWLS,
punches the earth, splattering mud.

He stands up. Looks down and pats the heavy leather satchels
tied to his belt.

A grin splits his face. One GOLD-CAPPED TOOTH stands out.

He spins, cobra-quick, pistols in hand, hammers cocked, eyes
searching the night.

A sound.

Women SINGING.

Barely audible over the storm.

The Rider's tense posture goes limp. His arms hang. His knees
buckle, the pistols fall from his grasp --

His pupils expand until his eyes are completely black.

He lurches forward like a puppet pulled by strings.

He pushes a sapling out of the way. Enters the forest, leaving
the trail behind.

The darkness swallows him.

He runs. Reckless. Possessed.

The trees seem to bend out of his way. A trail opens.

The mud SUCKS and SLURPS at his boots, finally claims one.

His step does not falter. His boot forgotten.

The SINGING INTENSIFIES.

He runs faster.

The SINGING -- stops.

He stops. His pupils shrink. He notices his boot missing,
his guns gone. He shakes his head, bewildered, scared.

He looks back the way he came. The forest looms, thick and
impenetrable. The trail, gone.

Up ahead, through the swaying trees sits a --

EXT. LOG CABIN -- NIGHT

Eminating warm candle light.

The Rider walks up to the door. Just as he balls his fist to
knock --

The door swings open.

An squaw girl stands inside. Impossibly beautiful. Three
more girls soon join her in the doorway, equally compelling.

RIDER
Any y'all gals speak American?

INT. LOG CABIN -- DOWNSTAIRS -- NIGHT

The storm rages outside the rickety windows. Clay pots
positioned about the floor catch leaking water.

DRIP DRIP DRIP.

The Rider sits on the floor eating fry bread and beans. The
four girls sit around him, watching intently.

In the candle light, everything can be seen more clearly:

The Rider wears a beard, white with age. His face is a webwork
of wrinkles befitting a man with half a century behind him.

None of the girls look older than twenty.

Their beauty is blinding: black hair, bronze skin, pert lips,
and dark almond eyes that sparkle with sharp intelligence.

RIDER/CORDELL
Cordell's my name.

The girls trade glances. Finally, one of them speaks:

PAKWA
My name am Pakwa. These are Muna,
Nascha, and Kasa. We sisters.

CORDELL
Well you're too pretty to be Cocopah.
You Yavapi? Hopi?

PAKWA
Tribe --

She cuts the air in front of her.

PAKWA
No name.

CORDELL
What is this place?

The girls grin.

PAKWA
Pleasure. Man pleasure. You has money?

Cordell laughs, slaps his knee.

CORDELL
Well I'll be good goddamned. Say,
tell me now, do folks wander by here
often?

PAKWA
No. No many.

[Adam Isaac]

SOMETHING WET HAPPENS (2 of 3)

CORDELL
Well, I happen to have a lot of money,
miss Pakwa. Just robbed a bank, you
see. Trouble is, a pack of lawdogs
got their snouts to the ground, trying
to sniff me out. I've a mind to hole
up here a couple days, rest my dusty
bones --

He flashes his gold-toothed grin.

CORDELL
All but one of 'em that is.

He takes one of the satchels off his belt, pulls the tether
and dumps a dozen gold nuggets across the floor.

CORDELL
Now, just what does that buy me?

INT. LOG CABIN -- UPSTAIRS -- NIGHT

Dark. The sounds of sweat-slicked bodies colliding.

A flash of lightning fills the rooms with light --

Cordell ****s Pakwa against the wall. The other three tend
to him with soft hands and softer lips.

INT. LOG CABIN -- UPSTAIRS -- MORNING

Cordell wakes up between the four naked girls. He SIGHS.

CORDELL
Going to hell's a small price to pay
for heaven on earth.

INT. LOG CABIN -- DOWNSTAIRS -- DAY

Cordell sits in a steaming tub. Muna and Nascha scrub his
back. Kasa and Pakwa shave his beard. They finish.

PAKWA
You look baby now.

He rubs his chin. He does look TEN YEARS YOUNGER. A stunning
transformation.

CORDELL
Got a mirror laying around?

PAKWA
No mirrors here.

CORDELL
Too bad...

His eyes alight on a shelf of jars containing a clear liquid.

CORDELL
Is that liquor?

PAKWA
Is medicine.

CORDELL
Does it cure sobriety?

PAKWA
Say again?

CORDELL
Never you mind. Just joshing ya.

PAKWA
Say again?

Cordell SIGHS.

INT. LOG CABIN -- DOWNSTAIRS -- NIGHT

Cordell stuffs himself with more fry bread and beans. The
girls watch him eat.

CORDELL
Ain't y'all hungry?

They shake their heads "no".

CORDELL
Got to keep your figures I guess.

INT. LOG CABIN -- UPSTAIRS -- NIGHT

Kasa, Muna, and Nascha kneel between Cordell's legs, vying
for position, sharing duties.

Pakwa pulls the girls away by their hair, takes a knee.
Cordell puts his hand on her head, lowers her down --

INT. LOG CABIN -- UPSTAIRS -- MORNING

MAN'S VOICE
Wake up!

Cordell wakes up. A pistol wavers between his eyes. The man
holding the gun wears a tin star. A sheriff's deputy.

DEPUTY
Think I found the son of a bitch!

HEAVY FOOTSTEPS. The room fills with men. All of them armed.
All of them wearing stars.

The SHERIFF (44) pushes to the front. Glares down at Cordell.

CORDELL DOESN't LOOK A DAY OVER TWENTY-FIVE. His hair, brown.
His face, wrinkle-free.

SHERIFF
Sorry to bother you son.
(to his men)
Lets go goddamnit. I want to catch
this old wolf before nightfall.

The Sheriff ushers his men out. Their feet THUMP down the
stairs.

The four girls crawl over to Cordell. He looks at them, the
breath still caught in his throat --

CORDELL
They didn't recognise me.

PAKWA
No beard. You look baby.

He rubs his chin.

CORDELL
Sure wish we had a mirror.

[Adam Isaac]

SOMETHING WET HAPPENS (3 of 3)

INT. LOG CABIN -- DOWNSTAIRS -- DAY

Cordell inspects the jars he saw earlier. He uncrews a lid,
sniffs, sticks his finger in and pulls it out -- it drips
off in slimy strings.

CORDELL
The hell --

Kasa appears. Takes the jar from him. Puts it back.

KASA
For us. No for man.

INT. LOG CABIN -- DOWNSTAIRS -- NIGHT

The girls watch Cordell eat. He looks up at them. Smiles.

CORDELL
I haven't felt this good in years. I
don't know if it's the cooking or
something else --

He reaches out and rubs Pakwa's thigh.

INT. LOG CABIN -- UPSTAIRS -- NIGHT

Cordell sinks into a sea of writhing bodies.

INT. LOG CABIN -- UPSTAIRS -- MORNING

A baby CRIES.

Kasa's eyes open.

Nascha's eyes open.

Muna's eyes open.

Pakwa's eyes open.

A baby boy lays between them, its face red, its toothless
mouth open and WAILING.

Kasa reaches in his mouth, pulls out a GOLD CAP. Sets it
aside. Scoops him up in her arm.

Muna slips out of the room.

Nascha SINGS SOFTLY.

Pakwa scoots up against the wall. Spreads her legs. Reaches
down and touches herself. She closes her eyes and MOANS.

Muna returns with two of the medicine jars. She sets them
down next to Pakwa, pulls off their lids.

Pakwa spreads her legs wider.

Muna takes a handful of the goop, reaches down between Pakwa's
thighs and applies it.

PAKWA
So hungry --

Kasa carries the CRYING baby over to Pakwa.

Muna rubs some of the goop across the baby's head and arms,
chest and legs.

Nascha sings LOUDER.

Kasa lowers the baby between Pakwa's legs, out of view.

The muscles in her arms tense as she pushes forward --

The baby's CRIES are suddenly, awfully, muffled.

SOMETHING WET HAPPENS.

Pakwa HISSES in pain.

Sweat beads across her face.

Kasa's elbows lock in full extension.

Pakwa shudders. A look of relief washes over her.

Kasa pulls her dripping hands back, the baby gone.

Pakwa looks down at herself as her stomach grows, becomes
large and round, the skin taut, ready to split --

She crosses her legs, sits up straight, rhythmically BREATHES
in and out, in and out --

Gradually, her stomach shrinks back to normal size.

She licks her lips. Finally satiated.

NASCHA
How was he?

PAKWA
Delicious.

FADE OUT

[Mark Twain Weck]

A possible answer to the RIDDLE. - - - - He kills them all too.

[habronic]

He's already killed her and been convicted of the crime. When he gets released, and finds out she's still alive, he can kill her because you can't be convicted of the same crime twice.

[Adam Isaac]

A possible answer to the RIDDLE. - - - - He kills them all too.

Not a bad answer. These things fascinate me because the answer is usually more obvious than we immediately think it is.

Riddles are such child's play, that they often seem like games for people who get bored easily. I strangle with them for a day or so then move on to the next place.

[Adam Isaac]

He's already killed her and been convicted of the crime. When he gets released, and finds out she's still alive, he can kill her because you can't be convicted of the same crime twice.

Another good one; however, that still doesn't tie-up the answer.


I'm a madman, folks! NOTE IT!! (No hi_t h_re though)

:D

[Adam Isaac]

There's one member who's a real wiz at solving riddles. I want to say it's C-something or other....dude's the best I've seen; save for the puzzle-fiends who surf brain teaser sites all day.

I have a great one to follow this one. Ties in with the competition.

Biggest hint: the last short posted reminded me of this riddle.

[habronic]

He drowns her, then does mouth to mouth and brings her back to life. =)

[Angeloworx]

the man is the executioner and the the people are watching the execution.:|

[Mark Twain Weck]

Another guess at the Riddle.

She's giving birth and to save the baby he, somehow, must sacrifice her. Maybe a cesarean section and she bleeds to death.

How's that?

[Mark Twain Weck]

My third guess.

It happens at a time or place when/where there is no law against it.

Just like when Cain killed Abel. There was no law against it then. That didn't happen until the time of Moses.... or so the story goes.

Now watch someone shoot me down on that one. (SIGH)

[dpaterso]

A man kills his wife. Many people watch him do so. Yet no one will ever be able to accuse him of murder. Why?
They both died together in the same car crash. Or some kind of accident. The wording is "kills" his wife not "murders" his wife.

Hey, is the 25th (dat's tonight!) still the deadline?

-Derek

[Mister Q]

He murdered his wife in front of lots of people then obviously confessed. No "accusations" required.

[Harbinger]

MisterQ took the words out of my mouth.

'Because he confesses.'

It's simple, but that's how they work. Most of the time these riddles are all about analysing choice of words. In fact most of the time you can solve them purely because of the awkward way they're phrased.

In this case you can't make 'Accusations' against a man who confessed. They are no longer, by definition, accusations at the point of confession.

PS. I've been following this contest on the quiet. If I get a moment (or a bolt of inspiration) I may enter. Anyway Liked what I read so far. Good contest :)

PPS. Derek's solution works as well. Using the same 'Choice of word' system.

PPPS. It just occured to me this may not have been the answer to the riddle. Nevermind though. It is a good one.

[Harbinger]

No wait. I just worked it out. This is the lesser known Case of the Invisible man murders. The answer...

The man is invisible.

No wait......

The crime occurred in one of those Mute colonies. .....ohh you must have heard of them. Uhhhh a mute and leper colony......so they can't write it either.

No wait......

It's one of those 'Southern man marries his pig Jezebel.' Not illegal to kill a pig.

No wait....

No one knows who he is or his name. You can't accuse someone, who effectively doesn't exist, of murder.

No wait....

I think I have got it. He didn't mean to. It wasn't premeditated so the charge is actually manslaughter. Not murder.

No wait....

They all felt, in some way, she'd asked for it. Mow the lawn during the Superbowl/Champion's League Final indeed!


.......................Okay I'm all out.

[DeaconBlu]

Sorry Angeloworx, didn't see yours.

[thatcomedian]

Adam your PM box is full again. Can't send anything.

[Mister Q]

I think that's the least of his worries right now. The poor chaps tucked up in bed with 101+ fever. I'm sure there will be an extension on the deadline if he's too unwell to work on the contest.

Get well soon, mate.

[Adam Isaac]

OK guys. Emptied some more space in PM.

Send away.

Mister Q, see latest PM from me to you.

[Adam Isaac]

RIDDLE ANSWER:
He's a hangman, and she(his wife) happened to be sentenced to death.

The really good one is on its way.

Time for more entries.

[Adam Isaac]

THE LAKE (1 of 3)
RyPa
FADE IN:

EXT. LINCOLN CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

Oppressive dark clouds hang overhead, pushing in on the sleepy coastal town. Hundreds of lights glisten through the pouring rain.

A deep, intense voice begins..

MAN (V.O.)
I like to believe I’m realistic when I
say I’m not a bad guy...

LIGHTNING CRACKS!

EXT. DARK STREET - NIGHT

A lone car sits along the curb, lights off. A dark figure sits inside.

MAN (V.O.)
But there are times when even I
have my doubts.

The driver’s window rolls down. A hand reaches out and throws a wrapper at a metal trash can. It bounces off the rim and into a puddle. The window rolls back up.

INT. REGGIE’S CAR - NIGHT

The man behind the voice -- REGGIE (late 30’s), somber and intense. He lights a cigarette, stares up the street towards--

EXT. DANCE-CLUB - NIGHT

Bright lights and THROBBING BASE carry out into the night. Rowdy teens and drunks mill around the entrance.

TRISH (40’s), blond and curvaceous, exits the club. Holding her hand is a confident, sharply-dressed man, DONNY (30’s).

REGGIE

Watches as they load into an SUV and take off. He starts up his own car, trails after them.

EXT. FOREST ROAD - NIGHT

Reggie’s Sedan maneuvers the winding streets, lights off.

INT. REGGIE’S CAR - NIGHT

OLDIES CRACKLE through on some outworn speakers. Reggie squints up ahead at the SUV.

Suddenly brake-lights illuminate and the SUV turns off the road.

Reggie twists the radio off. He rolls to a stop in front of a long gravel driveway. At the far end, the SUV sits in front of a WOOD CABIN.

INT. CABIN, BEDROOM - NIGHT

Trish and Donny tear each other’s clothes off.

They collapse onto a bed, kissing passionately. Trish gives an evil grin and ducks under the sheets, moving down Donny’s body.

DONNY
Oh yeah, baby, that’s it..

INT. REGGIE’S CAR - NIGHT

Reggie listens in on a mini-shotgun MIC. He holds a headphone up to his cell.

The impassioned sounds crescendo --

TRISH (V.O.)
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah... OOOOHHH!

Reggie raises the phone.

REGGIE
Satisfied?... Yeah... Yes, sir.

He slaps the phone shut, sets his headphones and MIC on the passenger seat.

He opens the glove compartment and retrieves a .45 equipped with silencer. Then opens the door.

INT. CABIN, BEDROOM - LATER

The cabin is dark, silent.

The bedroom door CREAKS as Donny makes his way in from the kitchen.

He glimpses a dark figure across the room, jumps --

DONNY
Jesus Christ- Who is that?

Reggie emerges from the shadows.

REGGIE
Hello, Donny.

DONNY
Jesus- Reggie? What the **** you
doin’ here?

Reggie steps closer, his gun comes into view.

REGGIE
Venture a guess?

Donny glances down at Trish who sleeps soundly.

DONNY
What did you do to her?

REGGIE
Just a little general anesthesia.
She’ll be fine in a couple of hours.
You on the other hand..

[Adam Isaac]

THE LAKE (2 of 3)

Donny’s eyes lock on the gun.

DONNY
Look, man. Any chance you can
just look the other way?

REGGIE
For ****’s sake, Donny. Dermont
has suspected you for weeks.

DONNY
Weeks? This was a one time deal -- She
begged me for it.

REGGIE
Whatever. If I don’t bring you in,
someone else will. Did you really think
you’d get away with it?

DONNY
It crossed my mind.

REGGIE
Well, welcome back to reality. Turn
around.

DONNY
C’mon, just-

REGGIE
Now!

Donny reluctantly turns. Reggie raises the butt of his gun --

THUNK!

-- Donny collapses in a heap on the floor.

EXT. CABIN - NIGHT

The rains have stopped. Donny lies unconscious at the foot of the porch as Reggie backs his car down the driveway. It grinds to a halt.

The trunk pops open -- like a gaping mouth ready to feed.

FADE TO:

INT. SHED - NIGHT

DERMONT (50’s) a tough white-haired man, looks on as a huge hulking thug, BONNER (30’s), opens the room’s large garage-door.

As the door opens -- Reggie’s car backs in. Bonner quickly tugs the door closed.

Reggie steps out.

DERMONT
Where is that pile a ****?

REGGIE
Back here.

He leads the others to --

INT. TRUNK

Donny lies inside, arms and legs tied. A trickle of dried blood on his forehead. He tries to move, grimaces, and vomits all over the trunk.

Reggie glares at the mess. Dermont smiles.

DERMONT
How’s the head?

Not waiting for an answer, Bonner hauls him out. He half-drags, half-carries Donny towards some crude looking restraints hanging from the ceiling over a large tarp.

REGGIE

Hangs back, cupping his mouth as he lights a cigarette.

BONNER

Locks Donny’s feet into a pair of metal cuffs on the floor. He then grabs a hanging loop of rope and wraps it around Donny’s hands, pulls it tight. A large gag is stuffed in his mouth and pulled around his head.

Donny makes a garbled attempt to speak as Dermont approaches.

DERMONT (CONT’D)
What was that? I couldn’t make it out-

He slugs Donny in the gut.

DERMONT (CONT’D)
How was my wife? Everything you
wanted it to be?!

He swings again -- Breaks Donny’s nose. Dermont, eyes wild with anger, grabs a clump of hair and pulls Donny’s face even with his.

DERMONT (CONT’D)
(whispering)
Now you listen, and you listen good.
I want this to last, you understand?
So when you feel like passing out
from the pain, I want you to fight it.
That’s all I ask.

He releases the hair and knees Donny in the crotch -- Donny groans in agony.

Bonner returns, wielding a SLEDGE HAMMER. Donny’s eyes grow -- he struggles fiercely.

[Adam Isaac]

THE LAKE (3 of 3)

WHAM!

Bonner crushes two toes --

Donny’s cries are muffled, he tugs desperately against the constraints.

WHAM!

Three more toes --

Dermont holds up his hand to stop. He walks over to the wall and retrieves a pair of BRANCH CUTTERS.

DERMONT (CONT’D)
Those toes must hurt, huh Donny?
How about we just snip them off and
ease the pain.

He places the blades around Donny’s small toe, squeezes --

DONNY
MMMMMMPPPH!!!

Donny’s eyes roll back, shaking.

The severed appendage rolls away, still bleeding. Dermont motions for Bonner to continue --

WHAM!

Dermont grins, savoring the moment.

EXT. SHED - NIGHT

The garage is secluded, nestled among trees. A short distance away are the still shores of a Lake.

The sounds of the violence reverberate into the night..

FADE TO:

INT. SHED - NIGHT

Bonner rolls Donny’s dismembered corpse up in the tarp.

Dermont approaches Reggie, pats him on the shoulder.

DERMONT
Good work, Reggie. I mean it.
(motions to corpse)
You found him, now lose him.

He hands Reggie a manila envelope.

REGGIE
Yes, sir.

EXT. DOCK - NIGHT

Reggie and Bonner heave the body-bag into a small MOTOR-BOAT.

Reggie hops in as Bonner unhooks the bow line.

The engine ROARS to life and Reggie speeds away from the dock, towards the middle of the lake.

EXT. LAKE - NIGHT

The engine shuts off and the boat drifts to a stop.

Reggie takes hold of the body-bag, propping it up against the side of the boat. With one last shove the body splashes into the water and disappears.

The boat rocks back and forth, settles.

Reggie’s cell vibrates, he answers.

REGGIE
Hi, Trish... Yeah, it’s over... No,
he doesn’t suspect a thing... I know,
me too.. See you soon.

Reggie hangs up.

He takes a minute -- listening to the CREAKING of the boat, the LAPPING of the waves...

Finally, he guns the engine.

FROM HIGH ABOVE

The wake cuts across the water -- moonlight rippling over the waves.

As moments pass, the water grows calm again.

FADE OUT.

[Adam Isaac]

TENTACLE HEADS (1 of 2)
anon
HEAVY ROCK SINGER (O.S.)
Fighting your innermost enemy... This one is tearing you asunder, its ripping you apart. There is no retreat, no surrender. Its all or nothing this time. From this one you cannot hide!

FADE IN:

INT. HQ - TOILET - DAY
CLOSE UP OF AGONIZED EYES.

The eyes are FLYNN’s. (Middle-aged, Hero) Sweat runs down his brow.

FLYNN
Ungh!

CHIEF (V.O.)
... 5 Tentacle Heads...

FLYNN
Oh!

CHIEF (V.O.)
We need them alive.

FLYNN’S TEETH SINK DEEP INTO THE WOODWORK.

FLYNN
Argh!

CHIEF (V.O.)
Flynn, it has got to be you.

FLYNN
Aieee!

CUT TO:

INT. HQ - DAY

The CHIEF, (seasoned, grey, male) is bleak.

CHIEF
Flynn, they have been taking our people for 6 months now. We don’t know why and have to find out. We believe they are based in the Black Caves. That is why I am sending you.

FLYNN
You sent me there before, Sir.

CHIEF
I understand what happened there, Flynn.

FLYNN
Sir, they did things to me there... Things I don’t want to talk about. Everyone has a dark place inside of them. The Tentacle Heads, they know this. They reach in and they find that spot. They touch you there, and afterwards... you are not the same.

CHIEF
That is why I am sending you alone.

EXT. BLACK CAVES - NIGHT

Flynn, sword in hand, intently watches the entrance to the CAVES from the mountainside. He commences his approach. Sliding STONES startle him. He freezes momentarily. There is a SCREECH and he dives for cover. It is only an OWL. As he reaches the entrance his sword is not held highly. He turns and begins to sheathe the blade.

FLYNN, HIS BACK TO THE CAVE:

A pitiful SCREAM echoes from deep in the pitch darkness of the Cave. Flynn redraws his sword, turns and enters.

MONTAGE OF FLYNN NAVIGATING THE CAVES:

- Flynn on hands and knees in crawl-space. His cloak snags.
- Shinnying up a stalagmite, Flynn’s sword falls, shattering.
- Flynn falling into a crevasse, his pack lost to the abyss. His fingers struggle to reach for the surface...

END OF MONTAGE:

VOICE (O.C.)
Give me your handsss!

Flynn blindly reaches for help. The ‘hands’ are green. Flynn is pulled nearly out of the abyss, and is face to face with a TENTACLE HEAD (Cuttlefish faced humanoid)

TENTACLE HEAD
Come to me!

FLYNN
You demon! You will not take me twice.

TENTACLE HEAD
I will ssseed you myself!

Flynn lunges into the abyss, but cannot break free. During the struggle an even more terrifying tendril emerges from the creature’s cowls. Flynn flails to break the grip. He is wrenched away from the crevasse.

TENTACLE HEAD (CONT’D)
Now, you will come!

FLYNN
Aiiee!

INT. BLACK CAVES - SEEDING CHAMBERS - NIGHT

In flickering torchlight, DOC (crazed researcher) is tending Flynn’s head.

DOC
Do not sit up under any circumstances! The seed find the brain through gravity. Raise your legs.

FLYNN
Who are you? Where am I?

DOC
Do not struggle. I have tied your ankles and will hoist your legs. Be absolutely silent!

Flynn is winched into the air, and dangles upside down.

DOC (CONT’D)
You were seeded. Perhaps there is yet hope. They come!

Doc hides as 6 Tentacle Heads approach. They stop at an earlier chamber. SCREAMS are heard from the adjacent room. Flynn swings to glimpse views.

[Adam Isaac]

TENTACLE HEADS (2 of 2)

FLYNN’S POV:

Tentacle Heads disrobing, green, muscular physiques glisten.

Tendrils covering a struggling man.

His screaming head is ripped off, leaving the jaw and brain.

One creature lowers its tentacles onto the brain.

The tentacles detach, slither to the brain, provide it limbs and it scampers into the darkness.

Writhing together, the Tentacle Heads gush white fluids over their intertwined bodies.

DISSOLVE TO:

DOC (CONT’D)
Wake up! You are infected. Your feet are already changing. If you hurry, there is time.

Flynn grabs Doc by the throat.

FLYNN
Cut me down. Explain yourself!

DOC
There is no time to explain!

FLYNN
Talk or die.

DOC
Your feet, you will lose them. These creatures have entered you.

FLYNN
What happened there? What did those things do to him?

DOC
They bred with him.

FLYNN
Are you saying that they had intercourse with him?

DOC
That is what you must tell! Here. My notes. You must get them out.

FLYNN
We are taking everyone. Nobody is left behind here. No one.

DOC
It is too late for the others. Their minds have gone.

FLYNN
You will take me to them, and then you will lead us out.

DOC
I tell you, there is no time! Look at your feet!

Flynn’s feet are green. His toes writhe like snakes.

FLYNN
How many people are alive here?

DOC
They are half-dead, not alive, and soon they will be half-human, like you!

Flynn knocks Doc to the floor.

FLYNN
You look in good shape. How did you manage that?

DOC
It is all in my notes, you fool! You must get out of here!

FLYNN
You are coming with me.

DOC
I am not leaving my life’s work! Nobody has come as close to these creatures as I have.

FLYNN
I have. Start walking.

TENTACLE HEAD (O.C.)
Ssstart running!

FLYNN
At you! Take him! Go for his tentacles! Get that sack over his head! I can’t hold him much longer!

TENTACLE HEAD
Help! Help, my tentacle men!

FLYNN
Now get us out of here!

DOC
This way. Through the slime holes. It is the only chance.

Flynn and Doc beat the monster through the tunnel system. From everywhere the fearsome creatures close in.

FLYNN
This way! We are almost out.

DOC
No. I will divert them. You go on!

No time to argue, Flynn forges on, monstrous prisoner in tow.
In the distance, maniacal laughter chokes off into screams.

EXT. BLACK CAVES - DAY
Flynn and captive trudge homeward.

INT. HQ - DAY

CHIEF
So, these foul creatures are using us as eggs. A shame this madman in the Caves gave you no explanation at all about how he survived down there. But we must start a full campaign, right away. You are a good man, Flynn. I knew you had it in you.

FLYNN
Yesss, Sssir. I did. Thank you

[Adam Isaac]

SEVEN (1 of 2)
broken fingers
FADE IN:

EXT. MERCYTOWN CEMETERY -- LATE DAY

A funeral has just ended.

As the small crowd trickles away into the gray rain, a lone figure makes his way towards the rectory.

It is FATHER MULCAHEY. Plump almost to the point of bursting and huddled under his black umbrella, he hurries to the old stone building, seeking shelter.

He reaches the entrance, opens the door and is about to enter when--

YOUNG MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Father Mulcahey!

The priest turns his weathered face, puzzled and slightly annoyed.

He peers into the rain, unable to see through his glasses exactly who is calling him.

YOUNG MAN'S VOICE
Father Mulcahey! Wait up a minute, please!

A YOUNG MAN bursts from the downpour to appear beside him. Slight and frail-looking in a dress shirt and slacks, he is sopping wet and shivering from the rain.

YOUNG MAN
(slightly out of breath)
Father Mulcahey. Please, if I could just have a moment of your time.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Eh?
(a quizzical look)
Son, it is late in the day. Perhaps if you could come back tomorrow. In the afternoon, perhaps. I'd love to--

YOUNG MAN
Father, please. It's important.
(beat)
It's about Timmy.

Father Mulcahey's face assumes a look of professional sorrow.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Ahhh, Timothy. Yes. We are all, of course, extremely saddened by his untimely demise. For one to die so young is always such a tragedy. Please, come tomorrow and we will--

YOUNG MAN
Father, is it true you go to Hell if you kill yourself?

Father Mulcahey is slightly taken aback by the question.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Son, please -- I know you must be terribly aggrieved that Timothy took his own...

YOUNG MAN
IS IT TRUE?!?!

The young man has drawn closer to Father Mulcahey and stands there breathing heavily; his hair is plastered to his face and he is dripping from the rain.

Wide-eyed and distraught, he holds the priest with his haunted gaze.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Come, let us go inside, my son. I can see you are very upset. Perhaps a cup of tea? Just the thing for a night like this...

Father Mulcahey squints through his glasses at the young man.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Do I know you, son?

The young man walks past the Father and enters through the open Rectory door.

Father Mulcahey shakes his head, folds up his umbrella and follows.

INT. MERCYTOWN CHURCH RECTORY HALL -- EVENING

They stand within the deep gloom of the rectory. The only sound: the patter of raindrops echoing throughout the still, dark halls.

Father Mulcahey flips a light switch. Nothing happens.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Humph, power's out. Must be the storm.

He lights a candle from a nearby shelf and gestures for the young man to follow him.

As they walk down the statue-lined hall, the flickering candlelight seems to cause the face of each stone saint to twist and leer as if alive.

INT. FATHER MULCAHEY'S OFFICE -- EVENING

Father Mulcahey lights a lamp and sets it on a peg that was once used for just that purpose long ago.

The lamp bathes parts of the old stone-walled room in soft orange light while obscuring other parts in deep dark shadow.

YOUNG MAN
Timmy didn't commit suicide, Father. He was killed.

Father Mulcahey turns to regard the young man as if he is crazy.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Son, I know you are distraught. But Timothy Andrews killed himself. There was an inquest, witnesses, people who--

YOUNG MAN
You don't recognize me, do you?

Father Mulcahey peers through the murky gloom trying to get a better look at the young man.

FATHER MULCAHEY
No, I confess I do not. Are you a member of our church? I don't recall seeing you during my Sunday services but--

YOUNG MAN
Michael Berth.

The priest stares blankly. The name doesn't ring a bell.

[Adam Isaac]

SEVEN (2 of 2)

YOUNG MAN
Twelve years ago I was an altar boy for you. In this church. Along with Timmy Andrews.

Father Mulcahey looks perplexed a moment and then an ever-so-slight twinge of fear flashes across his face.

YOUNG MAN
Yesssss..... You remember.
(beat)
Don't you...

Father Mulcahey's eyes bulge as a flash of light reveals a long, wicked blade in the young man's hand.

YOUNG MAN
Yessssss. You do remember that, don't you Father? Those sweet nightsssssss?...

Father Mulcahey's meaty, wide face is shaking with fear and shock. His mouth moves but makes no sound as the young man, MICHAEL BERTH, approaches - cruel blade outstretched.

Michael moves closer. Slowly. Almost sensuously.

MICHAEL
I know Timmy remembered. Just as I did.
(beat)
Just as I do.
(beat)
Just as I have. Every. Single. Night of my life since.

Michael places the point of the blade to the priest's fat neck.

MICHAEL
See, Timmy spoke to me. He suffered as I did. Every day was pain for him.
(beat)
As it is for me.

A trickle of blood makes its way down the priest's neck.

MICHAEL
So, yes - I know he was killed. Killed by the memories of what you did to him. To us.

FATHER MULCAHY
P-p-p-please.... I..I..... Have mercy, young man. I-I-I....

Father Mulcahey is blubbering in terror.

MICHAEL
Mercy? You mean like the mercy you showed us?

Michael presses the knife a little deeper into the priest's neck. More blood flows.

Abruptly he pulls the knife away from the priest's neck, lowers it.

MICHAEL
I... can't. Heaven help me but I can't.

Michael raises his hand to the cowering priest's neck and gathers the blood with his fingers.

He stares at it, as if in wonder, then draws a crude symbol on the priest's forehead.

He then leans forward and gives Father Mulcahey a deep kiss.

The priest looks down and can see through Michael's wet slacks that he is erect. His face becomes hopeful. And hungry.

MICHAEL
Take off your clothes.

The priest hesitates, unsure if Michael means what he thinks he means.

MICHAEL
You heard me - TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!!

Father Mulcahey rapidly begins to disrobe.

Michael steps back and stands before him - tense, quivering with emotions he cannot control.

He unbuttons his shirt. Removes it.

MICHAEL
See what you have made me.

Every inch of his body below the neck is covered in tattoos. Runes and glyphs intertwine in patterns that seem to writhe with power.

MICHAEL
God forgive me, I cannot stop myself.
(beat)
What have I become?

He removes the rest of his clothing. He is fully erect.

He raises his left arm to reveal six thin scars lined along his forearm - some fully healed, some newly healed and a few scabbed over yet.

He brings up the blade and slices anew - to create a seventh.

Blood begins to trickle down his arm as tears fill his eyes.

FATHER MULCAHEY
Michael. Listen, my boy... T-t-there is no greater love than man for man. We--

MICHAEL
SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT - THE FVCK - UP!

Father Mulcahey cowers naked before Michael. He is shivering, huddled. His tiny penis is also erect.

The room smells of Blood. Fear. Power.

MICHAEL
Abyssus abyssum invocat!
Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit - Azazel Dahaka!

The meager light seems to dim. The room becomes chill.

Tears stream down Michael's face. His eyes alight with an inner glow.

MICHAEL
De profundis Grerzazel! Donna nobis pacem!

The world shifts. Unseen currents stir the air. Energy crackles throughout the room.

Is it a priest's office? Or something else? Something darker.

VOICE (O.S.)
GREZZ A KESH! KRISH NAK OGGHRA! KUR ADEGGA MAKEL!

A being materializes behind Father Mulcahey.

Both beast and man, it fills the room with an overpowering smell of musk and brimstone.

It is Large. Feral. Powerful.

It seems here, yet not - and its voice rumbles across the room like not-too-distant thunder.

DEMON
KRISH AGNUZZ MAKEL? KUR DOKK ASHTA?

MICHAEL
Yes.

Before the priest can react, the demon has him in its grasp.

It licks its lips and snarls into Father Mulcahey's ear.

DEMON
MMMMMMM... KURDA KASHKEL. MUKTA....

FATHER MULCAHY
No! No! Michael! Please! I didn't mean -- Urk! Ack!!

Father Mulcahey's eyes bulge and his voice chokes in mid sentence as the demon's grip tightens.

It growls - then thrusts.

DEMON
GRUSH.... GRUSH AGRAMAAZ...

Strange, unintelligible sounds emit from Father Mulcahey as blood drips to the floor.

It is not from his neck.

MICHAEL
Salva veritate. Manus manum lavat.

Michael lowers his arm.

MICHAEL
The covenant is kept, Grerzazel. By the bonds of our kindred, we consummate our agreement and part again.

DEMON
KERDRAG MAKEL. KRISH AGAGEL. ZERRA.

A blinding flash of light fills the room, followed by a prolonged scream of pain and horror.

When it has faded away, all that remains is Michael, limp and naked.

MICHAEL
Seven down. Six more to go...

He sighs, puts his clothes back on.

As he leaves the priest's office he stops and rips a large crucifix from the wall.

He carries it with him past the watching saints.

FADE OUT:

[Adam Isaac]

SCRATCH OFF (1 of 2)
The Unknown (by author's request)
INT. LIVINGROOM - NIGHT

Laura early 40's, dark brown long hair, a few grey hairs. She is wearing Kathy Lee Gifford or Jacquelyn Smith Kmart dress. She has a slight pear shape. In another five years she will be a total bosc. She is sitting on the loveseat, watching Wheel of Fortune.

LAURA
Mark you're missing it. It's so easy even you could get it.

MARK ALLMAN, 40'S with brown hair and brown hair plugs comes in carrying a small plate with strawberry short cake on it.

MARK
Here ya go.

Mark sits on the sofa.

LAURA
Oh, could you hand me my purse.

Mark a little agitated gets up and hands her the purse, which weighs a ton and looks like the cargo net they load ships with.

LAURA
I bought some scratch off tickets.

MARK
Oh, why do you waste our money on that junk.

LAURA
Our money, I make twice as much as you.

Laura laughs to herself and starts scratching.

LAURA
One Liberty Bell.

Mark is concentrating, trying to hear the next clue on wheel of fortune.

LAURA
Two Liberty Bells.

Mark is looking at the tv but is now also listening for the third Liberty Bell.
LAURA
A cherry. Awww.

MARK
A dollar down the tubes.

LAURA
Actually two dollars. I bought two. Guess we'll have to cancel our round the world cruise.

She starts scratching.

LAURA
Or maybe not.

LAURA
One Liberty Bell.

LAURA
Two Liberty Bells.

Mark is not listening at all this time.

Laura scratches and then stops.

LAURA
Oh, my....I

Mark looks at her.

MARK
What did you win something?

Laura just stares up at him.

MARK
What? Two bucks? Ten?

Mark gets up and goes over and looks at the ticket.

Three Liberty Bells.

MARK
Holy ****.
LAURA
We won. A million dollars.

MARK
Yes!

LAURA
I can't believe it. Do you know what we can do with this.

Mark is pondering.

LAURA
Oh, I have to call everyone and tell them the good news.

Laura rushes toward the diningroom.

INT. DININGROOM - NIGHT

LAURA
I'll call Angie first.

Laura looks around. Where is the address book?

MARK
Don't you know her number.

LAURA
She just changed it.

Mark looks around.

MARK
I'm not sure...Oh, here it is.

He picks it up from the edge of the china cabinet.

LAURA
I told you to always keep it on the table where the phone is. It can never get lost that way.

Laura opens the address book and picks up the phone.

LAURA
I swear if your head wasn't attached--

Mark grabs the phone cord and wraps it around Laura's neck and squeezes. No more talking, just the sweet sound of girgling.
Mark looks down at the address book while strangling her.

MARK
Why is Angie under G?

Laura doesn't try to answer she just tries to breathe but can't.

MARK
Oh, that's right. She is your godmother. How did I last as long as I did.

Pulls even tighter. Laura goes limp. Mark looks around. He takes the slack part of the phone cord and throws it over the chandelier and hoists her up.

He turns to the H's in the address book. It reads "Suicide Prevention Line"

MARK
H for help.

[Adam Isaac]

SCRATCH OFF (2 of 2)

EXT. MARKS HOUSE - LATER

Lt. Dennis Kilcher, late 40's and dishwater blond and Lt. John Sinclair, mid 40's garbage disposal brown hair are interviewing Mark.



LT. JOHN SINCLAIR
Suicide huh?

MARK
Unfortunately.

LT. DENNIS KILCHER
We found the suicide prevention number in her address book. Do you know--

MARK
Oh, she called them a few times. Never actually tried before.

LT. JOHN SINCLAIR
You say you got those marks on your hands trying to get your wife down?
MARK
Yes.

LT. JOHN SINCLAIR
But you didn't get her down.

MARK
I couldn't then I realized it was, you know, too late.

LT. DENNIS KILCHER
Get along well with--

MARK
Oh, yeah. We were very happy. I guess it is just some genetic thing.

LT. JOHN SINCLAIR
Did either of her parents kill themselves?

MARK
No, but maybe they were just carriers.

Sinclair looks at Kilcher then Mark

LT. JOHN SINCLAIR
Carriers?

INT. COURTROOM - DAY

Mark is seated at the defendents table. Judge is late 50's with bushy hair that is receding.

JUDGE
Has the jury reached a verdict?

JURY FORMAN
Yes, your honor.

JUDGE
What is your verdict on the charge of murder in the first degree?

JURY FORMAN
We find the defendent Mark Allman guilty.

INT. CELL - NIGHT

A whistle blows. All the cells shut. Mark is on the top bunk. When the door slams shut he jumps and then lays back down. In the bottom bunk is ED JOHNSON. He is large and muscular with Charles Manson eyes.

Ed gets up and looks at Mark.

MARK
Wha--

Ed grabs him and throws him to the ground. Ed puts him in a head lock until Mark loses conscienceness. No bruise marks.

Ed pulls Marks pants down and starts ass ****ing him. But something doesn't feel right. He pulls out. Puts his fingers in Marks ass and pulls out a baggy. He opens it up and takes out the lottery ticket.

ED
One Liberty Bell, Two Libert Bells, Three Liberty Bells.

Ed starts to scream but then remembers where he is.

ED
Oh, man this is my lucky day.

He goes back to ass ****ing Mark.

FADE OUT

[Adam Isaac]

REMINDER TO SCRIBES:

YOU HAVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO MAKE THE DEVIL'S DEADLINE. SORRY, NO EXCEPTIONS(EVEN FOR ME).

VOTING BEGINS WHEN...

I POST THE OFFICIAL VOTING/RESULTS THREAD IN THE MORNING(~ 9:00am EST).

LASTLY...

PLEASE READ ALL THE ENTRIES BEFORE CASTING YOUR OFFICIAL VOTE. EVERYONE WHO SUBMITED A SHORT MUST VOTE.


THIS HAS BEEN A KICKA$$ SHORT COMPETITION, AND YOU CAN BE SURE WE WILL DO ANOTHER CHALLENGE IN THE SAME CREATIVE VEIN AS THIS ONE, LATER IN THE YEAR. I DON'T PUT A CEILING ON MY TOPICS--WE GET ENOUGH LIMITS ALREADY BY JUST BEING SCREENWRITERS. I THINK WE REALLY ALLOWED EVERYONE TO MAINTAIN THEIR OWN CREATIVE CONTROL AS TO WHAT TO WRITE, AND THAT KICKS A$$! NO LIMIT WRITING IS OUR MOTO.

[Adam Isaac]

I'll post the remaining entries that make it in before midnight in the morning.

[Adam Isaac]

THE BARTHOLOMEWS (1 of 3)


Mister Q
INT. MANSION HOUSE - DAY

A diamond chandelier; trophy heads of a grizzly, a tiger, a
lion and a giraffe hang on the wall; a knight's shining
armour stands proud.

The look is completed by an elderly butler, JENKINS,
walking across a Persian rug carrying a silver platter; on
it a toilet roll. This is just the lavatory!

SEBASTIAN BARTHOLOMEW III (18), sat on the throne, groans
out a large turd.

JENKINS
Are you done yet, sir?

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
NearlyywWWWwwraaaarr!!!

PLOMP PLOMP SQUISH SQUIRT SPLAT! Sefton stands, Jenkins
flushes the chain then proceeds to wipe Sefton's butt.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III (CONT'D)
You know I can have anything that
money can buy but few things give
more pleasure than the
satisfaction afforded to one by
going for a humongous dump.

JENKINS
Another of Doris's homemade
curries was it, sir?

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
As a matter-of-fact, Jenkins, it
wwaaaARRR!

Another huge explosion of the brown stuff. Sefton turns to
see Jenkin's face covered in it.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III (CONT'D)
Say, why don't you go clean
yourself up, Jenkins, I think I
can manage from here.

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
Mother!

HENRIETTA (O.S.)
In the kitchen, dear.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

HENRIETTA BARTHOLOMEW (50's), make-up caked on her taut
skin, sits at the table smoking a cigarette through an
impossibly long filter.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
Mother, have you seen Boris?

HENRIETTA
What's he done now, dear?

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
That little imp of a brother of
mine has been in my wing meddling
with my Latvian girl. She's the
only one I'm keeping at the
moment. Heaven knows what he's
done to her. I had a magnum of
champagne brought up and she
jumped out the window. Who's
going to blow me tonight? It's
just not the same when Jenkins
does it.

HENRIETTA
I really wouldn't know, dear. Why
don't you ask your sister?

Sefton storms off in a huff.

Henrietta lifts up the tablecloth. A young boy is down
between her legs. She grabs his hair and pulls him back.

HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Boris! Did you hear that?

Boris's expression is blank, his face is covered in juices
and pubic hairs.

HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Never mind, we'll talk about it
later.

She pulls him back in and wraps her thighs around his head.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

The front door opens and in enters SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
(45), a true dandy with a slick moustache.
Sefton III is being given a blow-job by a young blonde.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Shefton shun, remove ya shaushage
from ya shishtersh mouth.
There'shhhomething I need to
discussh with ya. A.Esh.A.P.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
I'm trying, Father, I'm trying.

Casandra feverishly chomps on his bit, causing great pain
as Sefton tries to free himself.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III (CONT'D)
Argh! F@*k! Good GARGHHH!!

[Adam Isaac]

THE BARTHOLOMEWS (2 of 3)

The bell on the old, wooden intercom tinkles. The light for
"GRANDPA'S ROOM" illuminates. Sefton II picks up the phone.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Yesh, Papa? . . . uh-huh . . . I
think I hear her coming, I'll
ashk. Dorish, honey!

DORIS, the maid, all twenty-eight stone of her, waddles in.

DORIS
Yes Master Bartholomew?

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Papa wash wondering if you
wouldn't mind awfully giving him
on of your shpeshial bed bathsh.

Doris takes out a chocolate bar from her blouse pocket.

CLOSE UP on BAR "FAST ACTING LAXATIVE"

She undoes the wrapper and shoves it in her mouth.

DORIS
Tell him I'll be up soon, Master.

Sefton II watches her elephant-like posterior sway out of
the room and shudders at the thought.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
(into phone)
Yesh, Papa, she ate the whole
goddamn lot . . . Of coursh I
will. What day ish it, Tueshday?
I'll she ya firsh thing Thurshday
to she how ya shaping up . . . I
shaid on Thurshday firsh thing .
. . I shaid . . . What if I pop
on up Friday morning to check
that you're all alright up there?
How about that? Okay, then. Good.

Casandra is now lying on top of her brother in the sixty
nine position, still working away like a savage beast.

Sefton Bartholomew II marches over.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II (CONT'D)
Cashandra, you'll have ta play
with ya brother later.

He puts a hand on her shoulder.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
No, Father! Don't! Don'--

Sefton II pulls her back sharply.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
AARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II (CONT'D)
Shefton, I need to shpeak t'ya.
Meet me in the shtudy.

INT. SHTUDY - DAY

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Ya shee the thing ish shun, my
shweet mother, god blessh her
cotton socksh, ish on her way
over and we both know what dat
meansh. She'sh gonna want me to
be shaking my shnake in her
cheeshy cake, if ya know what I'm
shayin'? She'sh gonna want my one
eyed shailor to rattle the keysh
of her hairy jailer. If ya get
what I mean, shun. She'sh gonna
be wanting me ta--

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
I understand exactly what you're
shaying, Father. Grandma's on her
way over and she's going to want
you to give her a right good
seeing to. She always does. What
I don't understand is why on
Earth you're telling me all this.

[Adam Isaac]

THE BARTHOLOMEWS (3 of 3)

Sefton II paces around, overwrought with worries.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Well, the thing ish, shun, ash
much ash it painsh me ta shay it,
the fact of the matter ish, I
shusht don't find her attractive
no more. But how'sha man
shupposhed ta tell hish own
mother dat? I'm shupposhed to
love her like no other.
I gotta tell ya, it'sh eatin' me
up inshide.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
Father, that's an absolutely
shocking thing to say!

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
I know shun, I know, but factsh
ish factsh. And sho I'm ashkin'
ya, from dish day forth, will ya
take over for me? I'm shure my
mama won't mind.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
Natually I'd be delighted to, but
thanks to your daughter and her
god-awful blow-jobs it won't be
today or any other day for about
a fortnight, I say.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
What ya talkin' about, shun? Your
shishter givesha fine piesha
head.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW III
Well not today she didn't. Oh,
look, here comes Grandma.

Sefton Bartholomew II spins around to look out the window.

His Mother's Rolls Royce is making its way down the mile
long driveway.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Where'sh Borish?

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Henrietta, have ya sheen Borish?

Henrietta is lent back on the chair approaching ecstasy.

HENRIETTA
This had better be important,
darling.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
More than you know.

Henrietta digs the heel of her stiletto into Boris's chest
and pushes him back.

HENRIETTA
Boris, your Father wants a word.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
(to Henrietta)
Wash he any good?

HENRIETTA
Good? No-ones given me that much
pleasure since Grandma passed
away.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Great!

DING DONG.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Jenkins walks toward the front door. CREAK. CRACK. He looks
up, a bed falls in through the ceiling landing square on
him.

Sat on the bed is Doris who in turn is sat on Grandpa
Bartholomew. There's faeces everywhere.

The family all run in having heard the commotion. Doris
stands, revealing two legs hanging out from her buttocks.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Shweet mother of mershy! You got
my papa shtuck up your assh!

Everyone rushes over and start pulling at the legs. Doris
holds onto the bedpost.

Eventually they pull him free, only to reveal that his head
is missing.

DING DONG.

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II (CONT'D)
Oh my God! The headshhhtill up
there!! Borish, Shefton, grab a
cheek and pull it back, I'm going
in. I won't bury a Bartholomew
without their head. Not for a
third time.

DORIS
Are you mad, Master?

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
I'm shertified, honey, but
what'shat gotta do wid the prisha
bread?

DORIS
I mean are you angry that I've
killed your father?

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Nonshensh, Papa would'nt've
wanted it any other way. Kind of
ironic I guessh. Killed by the
the thing that gave him the mosht
pleashure in life; your enormoush
shapeshifting shaggy assh!

DING DONG DING DONG!

HENRIETTA
Where on Earth is Jenkins?

SEFTON BARTHOLOMEW II
Shtand back! I'm going in!

Sefton and Boris pull back the flabby cheeks as their
father forages in.

PULL BACK to REVEAL: a television screen; the television
set; two GUYS sat on a couch watching it.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

The guys continue to watch; mouths agape yet perversely
transfixed.

GUY #1
Damn, man! What is this show?

GUY #2
It's called The Aristocrats.

FADE OUT.

[Adam Isaac]

The hold-up is over. Was waiting on the author's edit before posting the voting thread. The last short was originally submitted at 5:30pm on 3/23/07. The author merely needed to space dialogue from action in their script.

Just letting everyone know.

[dpaterso]

I make that... 20 entries? And that's not bad for any DD contest. Well done, all.

THE MOVE
ROLLING PIN
AUDACITY
BOB'S SICK AND TWISTED TRIP TO NECROVILLE
ANOTHER SERIAL KILLER
LOSING FAITH
GRAND THEFT
BEIJING DETECTIVE: A MUSICAL
DATE NIGHT
MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING
UNTITLED
AVON CALLING
MANHOLE
XOXOX
SOMETHING WET HAPPENS
THE LAKE
TENTACLE HEADS
SEVEN
SCRATCH OFF
THE BARTHOLEMEWS

-Derek

[ylekot43]

Impressive field -- great work guys -- i'm ready to vote.

[Adam Isaac]

Floor's your's, ylekot. April 6 is the new deadline.

If voting dies off after the 4th or 5th we'll call it good.

[Jcorona]

I

[Adam Isaac]

Ya!