Devil's Deadline & The 2008 Dereks!!! [Archive]

Adam Isaac

07-30-2008, 04:42 AM

DEVIL'S DEADLINE means a 1 year anniversary for these little writing events with little ole ME as your host. You crazies, schemers, and sycophants have made it an awesome year of writing. I have said it before--there's a lot of talent on this forum...and I love it!

So, now that we've come full circle...I want to welcome you all to the first leg of the very first Triple Writing Event that we like to call......................

THE DEREKS
(Yes, that Derek)

***Here's how we begin the party***

I. DEVIL'S DEADLINE: MY FAVORITE VICE

Here's a twisted little writing exercise that centers on the naughty things that people do. Last year it was a SEX & MURDER short script showcase.
This year is a bit more personal. This year we're going to write short scripts that revolve around VICES!
Your vices. Your lover's vices. Even your pet peeve for someone else's vices ARE-FAIR-GAME!
You will write NO MORE THAN (2) entries a person; each entry will be NO LONGER THAN (6) steaming pages.
I won't tell you what to write about, but we ENCOURAGE YOU to be as BAAAAADD as you care to be!
CONTEST DATES: Submissions will begin on AUGUST 10, 2008. Submissions will end on SEPTEMBER 10, 2008.

THE STAKES: We do TOP-SHELF BOOZE or COFFEE OF THE GODS for the weiners of this one.

AND THE DEREK GOES TO: One of the people who enter in this contest...only one can win the first DEREK..........so tell us, pretty people...tell us about YOUR FAVORITE VICE...and welcome to a madman's writing party called:

DEVIL'S DEADLINE!

DROWN THE KIDS AND SHOOT THE NEIGHBORS!
TELL YOUR FRIENDS...TELL YOUR COHORTS...TELL YOUR OWN REFLECTION...AND FINALLY TELL YOUR PSYCHIATRIST THAT IF YOU'RE WRONG, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT!!!

Adam Isaac

07-30-2008, 04:59 AM

Oh yeah, almost forgot....there is one rule: END YOUR SCRIPT WITH A HARD TWIST/SURPRISE/SHOCKING ENDING!

If you refuse, then you will lose.

OzFade

07-30-2008, 06:27 AM

**** yeah!

Adam Isaac

07-30-2008, 07:16 AM

I've got a PM coming your way shortly, Oz. I think we should team up on the second leg of the Dereks. I've got to step out for a minute, be back soon.

Also, a glowing tribute to Professor Derek Von Paterson McOlheimer.

I've picked out the actual DEREK trophies. They're classic.:D

All of this was initially J OFF COURSE's idea. She wanted the Dereks, the masses wanted the Dereks, so they are getting the Dereks.

Devil's Deadline is fun. I think we had 3 or 4 ADULT CONTENT WARNINGS on a few of last year's entries.

dpaterso

07-30-2008, 09:53 AM

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in again!

I'm guessin' gleaming gold 12" sex devices.

-Derek

Adam Isaac

07-30-2008, 10:08 AM

It's a golden man, but it could be a golden bagpipe, or a golden X, or a globe that's half-way blown up, and even a hand giving the middle finger.

There's one that's this crazy looking smiling head too...before I purchase the Dereks I'll need your stamp of approval.

doubler83

07-30-2008, 10:24 AM

Hmmm, vices, huh? Sounds interesting...

Ecrivette

07-30-2008, 10:30 AM

I'm game!

JonnyAtlas

07-30-2008, 12:13 PM

Yeah, this sounds awesome.

twk69045

07-30-2008, 02:45 PM

I've got chills already.

Adam Isaac

07-30-2008, 03:56 PM

Derek needs a logo too.:D This thing won't get out of hand either, we're going to do it comically, but there's going to be value at the heart of it.

I'm thinking (4) total Dereks awarded; having each one stand for a particular skill or area of writing.

It is madness, make no mistake, but there's going to be a method to that madness.

Oz and I are going to come up with some challenging ideas to test the participants in certain areas, and still try and maintain the fun factor as well.

IndieMe

07-30-2008, 07:31 PM

What if I don't have any vices? What if I don't know anyone who has vices? What if I'm perfect?

Let's have a drink to me being perfect! :D

Adam Isaac

07-30-2008, 07:35 PM

What if I don't have any vices? What if I don't know anyone who has vices? What if I'm perfect?

Let's have a drink to me being perfect! :D

Baby, maybe you're just CUSTOM MADE! WOOO!!!

Fortean

07-30-2008, 11:17 PM

What if I don't have any vices? What if I don't know anyone who has vices? What if I'm perfect?

Let's have a drink to me being perfect!

أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ta%27awwudh)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحي
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basmala)
Surah Al-Baqarah 2: 219 (http://www.qurantoday.com/BaqSec27.htm#Verse2:219)

Being a damned atheist, one of my favourite vices is citing prayers and scriptures to the religious.

OzFade

07-30-2008, 11:28 PM

Adam shoot that pm over and lets get this shlt started

Fortean

07-31-2008, 01:11 AM

Another of my favourite vices:

When in doubt, use the letter 'Z'

Ze will love you for it.

Z?

...Canuckz laugh their azzez off, when Yankz dizcover the metric zyztem (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_system) while viziting Canuckiztan and cannot convert theze meazurez to their United Ztatez cuztomary unitz.

Arroway

07-31-2008, 01:59 AM

in.

:devil:

twk69045

07-31-2008, 02:49 AM

lol fortean. Best vice imaginable.

J off course

08-02-2008, 09:47 AM

Adam Isaac

08-02-2008, 10:03 AM

I meant ze.

Signal30

08-03-2008, 11:07 AM

Five weeks seems like a long time to crank out six pages.

Just sayin'...

Fortean

08-03-2008, 01:44 PM

Five weeks seems like a long time to crank out six pages.

Well, that could be another vice (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrastination) around here.

IndieMe

08-03-2008, 03:09 PM

My last script for another site :eek: was a 12 pager that I wrote in less than 4 hours on the eve of the deadline. I was tipsy :o too, but people really dug that one. So, I'm going to wait until the eleventh hour, then pop a few cold ones and see what happens. That's two vices right there.. :D

twk69045

08-03-2008, 05:30 PM

I get a feeling Fortean's going to win all four slightly used Dereks.

Fortean

08-04-2008, 03:10 AM

I get a feeling Fortean's going to win all four slightly used Dereks.

[Open appropriate music (http://www.resologist.net/Slimy%20Viper.mid), (Gaston Borch's "The Slimy Viper"), in another tab, or window.]

To my delight, recently, an exceptional circumstance allowed me to savour an unrestrained old vice of mine, (which could be readily transformed into a short screenplay). It's perfect for this writing exercise. Thus, unless my competitors have been sentenced to death, (or committed to an insane asylum), the sins they've committed, (or will admit to, in this exercise), are most likely misadventures, by comparison. Did I feel any guilt, or remorse, for what I did? Nay! Do I care about any prizes, winning, or getting anyone's vote? Ha! I'd merely challenge your minds and let you wonder what, (if anything), you'd do given the same circumstance.

dpaterso

08-04-2008, 03:38 AM

I played the music while reading your post, the lights dimmed and a machiavellian chuckle echoed from my laptop speakers.

-Derek

mcornetto

08-05-2008, 03:55 AM

This one sounds like a bit of fun. I'll give it a go.

Fortean

08-05-2008, 04:49 AM

I played the music while reading your post, the lights dimmed and a machiavellian chuckle echoed from my laptop speakers.

Eh! Are you sure it was Machiavellian, (capitalized)? Not Nietzschean (http://www.resologist.net/Liszting%20In%20Der%20Sturm.mid)? And, no sulphurous odor, too?

Here. Try it again. I've corrected a few questionable notes, as well as added the flute and first violin parts to its midi file. (http://www.resologist.net/Slimy%20Viper.mid)

IndieMe

08-19-2008, 09:44 PM

Okay, so I've read the submissions so far....
I know you people are hard at it. Submit your entries soon please. I'm taking notes this time, but not enough scripts to take notes on so far.

It's up to you if I should read your script or Aftonbladet with my morning Diet Mountain Dews! :D

Fortean

08-19-2008, 11:57 PM

I'm taking notes this time, but not enough scripts to take notes on so far.Tell us Indie, what's your vice?
Then, we'll know you're not so nice!
Write that entry, it's a short.
We all wonder, when you report,
"I'm a perfect pixie, not a naughty trixie,"
We know you're not that sort.

Write, but not too long * * keep on doing it.
Write, just how you're wrong * * we'll believe it.
Tell, a nifty story, not too filthy, watch your reputation.
Tell, and we'll see * * some flirtation.
That evil truth * * you've tried to hide.
Write, all night and day, don't let it slide,
If you don't, you'll be our prey! (http://www.resologist.net/Vamp.mid)

Adam Isaac

08-20-2008, 02:50 PM

Come on, peepz. Only two entries entered so far...keep digging.

12IronMonkeys

08-20-2008, 05:30 PM

I really need to check this folder more often. I didn't know we had restarted something here, as it seemed to die for a while.

I'll toss it around my head and will try to submit one or two as well!

IndieMe

08-21-2008, 06:48 PM

Tell us Indie, what's your vice?
I believe there's a character limit on posts...
Then, we'll know you're not so nice!
Never said I was. ;)
Write that entry, it's a short.
We all wonder, when you report,
"I'm a perfect pixie, not a naughty trixie,"
Wherever you get your info may not be as reliable as you might have thought. :D

Write, but not too long * * keep on doing it.
Write, just how you're wrong * * we'll believe it. You're easy...
Tell, a nifty story, not too filthy, watch your reputation. That will be tough... I like filthy and my reputation's been what it is since I was "this high".
Tell, and we'll see * * some flirtation.
That evil truth * * you've tried to hide.
Write, all night and day, don't let it slide,
If you don't, you'll be our prey! (http://www.resologist.net/Vamp.mid)
Really??!! I LOVE playing a prey...
Is that a vice? :o

dpaterso

08-22-2008, 03:33 AM

Come on, peepz. Only two entries entered so far...keep digging.
I was aiming to start writing one hour before the deadline. On a stolen laptop. They always come out better that way.

I've also received hate emails warning me that if I enter, I'm a dead man.

Bring it on, beyotches! I'm right here! Come and get it.

-Derek

Fortean

08-22-2008, 01:25 PM

...keep digging.

Gee, I thought someone was going to admit, (with their entry), their incestuous necrophilia, (tho that'd be an old familiar plot 'round here).

Yes, Indie, that could be a vice, ("playing a prey," that is).

IndieMe

08-22-2008, 02:34 PM

Gee, I thought someone was going to admit, (with their entry), their incestuous necrophilia.
I'm glad you said that. That was my idea for a script, but I wasn't sure how that would go over with you guys...

I still remember the luke warm reception to my other necrophilia script. :D

IndieMe

08-29-2008, 05:48 PM

Whoa!

I'm reading as fast as I can trying to keep up with these entries!!! :D

Arroway

09-02-2008, 12:36 PM

what the hell happened to this forum? did everyone go out and get a second job? no time to write anymore?

i don't care. i'm still sending something in.

dpaterso

09-02-2008, 01:59 PM

Deadline's the 10th. Over a week away. I'm still in casual laid-back mode.

-Derek

Adam Isaac

09-02-2008, 06:03 PM

what the hell happened to this forum? did everyone go out and get a second job? no time to write anymore?

i don't care. i'm still sending something in.

Yeah, but you're the man. :cool:

Have 3 new entries to post.

Adam Isaac

09-08-2008, 08:58 AM

RogerT PM me your submission.

doubler83

09-08-2008, 12:46 PM

I dunno if it's been mentioned, but when does voting open? From the 11th?

Adam Isaac

09-08-2008, 02:37 PM

Yeah.

Roger...it's not an insult...PM me your submissions.

TheKeenGuy

09-10-2008, 11:58 PM

Unfortunately, because I am too immersed in another script at the moment, I never got around to writing my entry about a man who, having heard about the proclivity of "ladyboy" prostitution in foreign countries, sneaks out to a brothel on an overseas trip and tries to ask for a chick with a penis but, as a result his nervousness and the language barrier, ends up being sexually accosted by a man with a vagina.

I think it would have won.

Adam Isaac

09-11-2008, 08:04 AM

If anyone emailed their entries, I didn't get them.

PM the submission.

Adam Isaac

09-11-2008, 09:57 AM

Judging begins today(9/11) and ends in a week(9/18).

Adam Isaac

09-11-2008, 07:58 PM

And PM those to me too....by the way.

Mark Twain Weck

09-11-2008, 08:11 PM

How do we vote? Is it a 3,2,1 system or just the one we think is best?

Arroway

09-12-2008, 01:38 AM

drag
hockey night
mangia
what happened
liquor lover and lever
vice squad
sleepy bear
lazy boy
clowning around
raw voltage
the deepest cut
remembered

...a nice round dozen. would have been cool to have more but that's not a terrible showing.

dpaterso

09-12-2008, 02:03 AM

Hah! Was just about to post a list of titles.

Vote for your 1st, 2nd and 3rd choices.

As Adam says, PM your votes to him, don't post 'em here.

I'll probably be scribbling some comments as I read the entries, but I won't post these until results are announced.

-Derek

OzFade

09-12-2008, 09:50 AM

Sorry couldn't make this one...was meaning to fire off one at the last second but got my ass kicked by a nasty virus.

Will vote though.

12IronMonkeys

09-14-2008, 07:54 PM

A mixture of a hard week at work, and not being able to wrap my head around an idea strong enough for me to write about led to me not sending one in. I'll try to read the entries and vote though.

I'm going to keep a closer eye on this folder though so I can get in on the next little writing exercise/contest earlier. I hope someone has something planned. :)

Fortean

09-15-2008, 12:37 AM

"Minus" votes for OzFade, (who needs to provide a "sick" note from his physician), and 12IronMonkeys, for lame excuses, instead of "vices."

And, again, no attempts to bribe me for a vote?

What's with these people?

~ Fortean to Adam McIsaacEh? (http://www.resologist.net/Sinister%20Theme.mid)

OzFade

09-15-2008, 06:26 AM

:rolling: Fortean

Actually I had pharyngoconjunctival fever...plus I didn't have an idea for a short.

dpaterso

09-15-2008, 06:57 AM

Actually I had pharyngoconjunctival fever...
Let that be a warning to everyone, never kiss a strange man in a public toilet.

plus I didn't have an idea for a short.
Says the guy mainlining on antibiotics!

-Derek

12IronMonkeys

09-15-2008, 06:23 PM

I bow my head in shame...

Fortean

09-17-2008, 12:20 AM

I recently came upon this little tune, thought it fitting for this exercise, (fixed it up, not having found a decent audio file of it on the Internet), and offer it up, (for your enjoyment and contemplation, whilst voting). Sing along, (if you're that bad).

I AM SUCH A CUTE DEVILISH LITTLE DEVIL (http://www.resologist.net/I%20Am%20Such%20A%20Cute%20Devilish%20Little%20Dev il.mid)

I am such a cute devilish little devil,
I gener'ly have ev'rything my way,
For wickeness is nat'ral to the millions,
So I'll be just a little devilish if I may.
If I want a favor done me by the people,
I have only to beguile them with a smile;
For we all know in this wicked world of sinners,
There's no one like the devil to beguile.

Oh I'm so cute.
Oh I'm so cute.
To worship me it ought to be no sin.
I plague the gay,
Annoy the sport,
The cheat don't pay because I urge him not,
Oh! I'm so cute.
Oh, I'm so cute.
The fate of many I hold by a thread,
And with a smile.
The world beguile.
I'm such a little cute dev'lish devil!

My spirit rules the universe entirely,
Of that fact I am very well aware,
For evil is so taking and so pleasant,
There are but few that for the consequences dare.
I am welcomed ev'rywhere by ev'rybody
For if the thing is wrong it's sure to make it
All the more attractive to the world at large,
For they all go in with "may the devil take it."

Oh I'm so cute.
Oh I'm so cute.
To worship me it ought to be no sin.
I lead the weak,
Make wise men fools,
They yield to me and then become my tools,
For I'm so cute.
For, I'm so cute.
They never got the best of me you bet.
Oaths which they take,
I make them break.
I'm such a little cute dev'lish devil!

(Music by Emma R. Steiner. (http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/S?ammem/mussm:@OR%28@field%28TITLE+@od1%28I+am+such+a+cute +devilish+little+devil++%29%29+@field%28ALTTITLE+@ od1%28I+am+such+a+cute+devilish+little+devil++%29% 29%29))

Adam Isaac

09-17-2008, 02:09 PM

Put the Labatt's down, and step away from the microphone...easy now...easy...easier...now down to a whisper...

Derek and I need to decide what the 1st DEREK AWARD will awarded for.

The trophy itself is on order, and is supposed to be a silver Scotsman, holding up a coffee mug in victory.:D

dpaterso

09-18-2008, 08:18 AM

"Least Credible Screenwriter"
"Worst dialogue ever posted on Done Deal"
"Psychologically Disturbed Freakazoid"

-Derek

Adam Isaac

09-18-2008, 08:44 AM

I'm figuring on having you create the categories for all three. Only one given out with this one though.

Everyone has until midnight tonight to PM me your votes.

Adam Isaac

09-18-2008, 08:47 AM

"Least Credible Screenwriter"
"Worst dialogue ever posted on Done Deal"
"Psychologically Disturbed Freakazoid"

-Derek

Remember that whatever the first Derek is for, it doesn't have to be the winner of this contest.

What about: Most Filmable Short?

I do need to try and figure something out to tell Johnny Trophy.

doubler83

09-18-2008, 08:49 AM

"Least Credible Screenwriter"
"Worst dialogue ever posted on Done Deal"
"Psychologically Disturbed Freakazoid"

-Derek

"Least Credible Screenwriter" DOUBLER
"Worst dialogue ever posted on Done Deal" DOUBLER

Thank you! Thank you! :D

Fortean

09-19-2008, 01:37 PM

"Least Credible Screenwriter" DOUBLER
"Worst dialogue ever posted on Done Deal" DOUBLER

Thank you! Thank you!

'Tis tempting (http://www.resologist.net/Temptation%20Rag.mid) to make this a clean sweep, eh?

(Music by Thomas Henry Lodge.)

Somehow, when I think of a "Derek" award, I think of those naughty postcards from Paris with a small feather strategically attached, except, in the case of a "Derek," a scrap of Tartan is attached to the postcard as the kilt on a lass, doing a highland fling.

"You just put your lips together and... blow." ~ TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0037382/combined)No voting results, yet! It's like an American election. Or, is it that our moderator is computing the numbers with logarithms (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Sliderule_2005.jpg/800px-Sliderule_2005.jpg), (a Scottish invention)?

dpaterso

09-19-2008, 02:02 PM

Somehow, when I think of a "Derek" award, I think of those naughty postcards from Paris with a small feather strategically attached, except, in the case of a "Derek," a scrap of Tartan is attached to the postcard as the kilt on a lass, doing a highland fling.
Highland fling: violent maneuver executed by a Scottish woman to remove her husband, after she has attained her shudder.

Or, is it that our moderator is computing the numbers with logarithms (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Sliderule_2005.jpg/800px-Sliderule_2005.jpg), (a Scottish invention)?
Man, I remember logarithms in school. Books of incomprehensible numbers that conquered the world.

-Derek