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JamesNI
08-29-2008, 01:28 PM
Hello!!

I am currently in the midst of writing an action screenplay, and the first scene involves a boxing match. I have found the descriptions of the actual boxing to be incredibly bulky, and I am wondering, is this kosher?! Should the action be broken up by dialogue? Perhaps a commentator?

What do you think, oh awesome DD minds?!
doubler83
08-29-2008, 01:31 PM
Read Rocky.
Sinnycal
08-29-2008, 01:35 PM
A fight choreographer isn't going to care how the writer envisioned each punch to be thrown. And he shouldn't care, because choreographing fights is his job and he's better at it than you are.

If there are particular beats within the fight that matter to the story, give them, but don't write dense paragraphs describing every jab.
Moviequill
08-29-2008, 01:38 PM
Read Rocky.

and best of all it is readily available

http://www.weeklyscript.com/Rocky.txt
JamesNI
08-29-2008, 01:41 PM
Cheers doubler83 and Sinnycal. Oh, and Moviequill too!

I should of read Rocky, you are 100% right about that. I was reading through Raging Bull while writing, but for some reason, did not think to even look at Rocky.

As for the fight choreographer not caring, I had thought about that, but I guess I got carried away with the description of the fight. I'll cut it down to the important blows!

Thanks!
doubler83
08-29-2008, 01:50 PM
Is the actual fight important, or is the real action outside the ring?
JamesNI
08-29-2008, 02:11 PM
Is the actual fight important, or is the real action outside the ring?

In all honesty, no, not the whole fight, just the end of it.
doubler83
08-29-2008, 02:27 PM
I would maybe just introduce the scene and then skip to the most important part of the fight.

Maybe that's what you were going to do.
JamesNI
08-29-2008, 02:32 PM
I would maybe just introduce the scene and then skip to the most important part of the fight.

Maybe that's what you were going to do.

Well, the scene starts mid fight, approaching the important part. Having looked at a few more scripts briefly, and listening to you guys, I think it's just a matter of cutting down on what doesn't need to be there.
Charli
08-29-2008, 07:12 PM
Describe the overall feel, don't need to state: jab, jab, jab, upper-cut. What point of view? What are you trying to convey?
wcmartell
08-29-2008, 07:34 PM
Action is character.
Action is story.

Any action that is not exploring character or doesn't change the course of the story doesn't matter - so leave it out.

The best action explores character *and* changes the course of the story.

- Bill
JamesNI
08-30-2008, 11:54 AM
Action is character.
Action is story.

Any action that is not exploring character or doesn't change the course of the story doesn't matter - so leave it out.

The best action explores character *and* changes the course of the story.

- Bill

You're a legend!! Cheers for all the advice. I now know where I'm taking. If needed, I can trim what needs trimming on the first re-write.