Christmas Contest ( Entries )

[Mark Somers]

Moderator edit: list of titles vs. authors can be viewed here (http://messageboard.donedealpro.com/boards/showpost.php?p=485807&postcount=45) in the Rules thread.

DEATH TAKES A HOLIDAY


FADE UP


INT. CAFETERIA

The lights are dim.

A row of black-cowled figures line a table, scythes cocked and close at skeletal hand.
A grim beeper goes off, and one of the figures pulls a pager from his robes...

DEATH ONE
Well, damn... I got Bettie Page.

Death One grabs his scythe and motivates.

The other figures MUTTER.

DEATH TWO
You *******...

DEATH THREE
Lucky stiff. She was hot.

DEATH TWO
No sh*t. Me, I've got Billy Graham on hold. That's gonna be a fun trip back.

DEATH THREE
Yeah...
(finger bones clacking)
... blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah.

Death Three lights a cigarette, then winces through the smoke... winces but for lack of flesh. Rolls his skull instead.

DEATH THREE
Well, speaking of blah, blah, blah... here comes the fun tourniquet.

DEATH FOUR winnows up to the table and settles down with his tray.

DEATH FOUR
Hey, guys.

DEATH THREE
Hey.

DEATH TWO
Word.

DEATH FOUR
Great news... I got a transfer.

Death Three and Two look at each other.

DEATH TWO
So... who's taking over the Disney beat, then?

DEATH FOUR
Damned if I know, damned if I care. I'm all done killing cartoon mothers is all I know.

DEATH TWO
Good on you.

DEATH FOUR
You know what a pain in the ass this has been?

DEATH THREE
(sarcasm)
Why, no... you've never mentioned that.

DEATH TWO
You killed Bambi's mother, you prick.

DEATH FOUR
Exactly. This job sucks enough as it is-

DEATH THREE
Well, there's the security...

DEATH FOUR (CONT'D)
-without having to go home and having Death, Junior give you the stinkeye.

DEATH THREE
I don't think that has anything to do with your job.

DEATH FOUR
Hardy-freaking-har. It has everything to do with the job. I try to be a good father, spend some quality time with the kid, which just has to be some damned Disney movie on the player, and then every time a mother figure gets whacked he looks up at me with those big ol' empty sockets and says, "Was that one you, Dad?"

DEATH THREE
No gratitude, kids these days...

DEATH TWO
Lie to him. Say, "No... it was Carl here-

DEATH THREE
Hey.

DEATH TWO (CONT'D)
-that took out Dumbo's mother."

DEATH FOUR
Dumbo's mother didn't die. Besides, I'm not going to lie to my son.

DEATH TWO
It's not lying. They're freakin' cartoon characters. They're not real.

DEATH FOUR
Yeah, tell that one to Ariel's mother. She was down on her hands and... um, fins when I showed up with the scythe.

DEATH THREE
I'll bet she was...

DEATH FOUR
Shaddup. The point is, kids take the Disney jobs more seriously than if...
(shakes his skull)
No matter. I'm done with that beat. Junior's in for a surprise when I walk in with some bigshot's head between my nails...

Death Four's grim beeper goes off. He looks down... his bones RATTLE.

DEATH TWO
What?

DEATH FOUR
Just who in the hell did I piss off?
(SIGHS)
I just got Santa Claus.

DEATH TWO
Whoa.

DEATH THREE
That sucks.


FADE OUT

[Mark Somers]

THE GIFT OF THE SEX WORKERS ( Part 1 0f 2 )



EXT. BACK ALLEY, DOWNTOWN L.A. - DAY

Sun beats down on a row of multicolored Christmas trees,
gleaming amid the grime, and trash, and **** of the city.

The THUM of a compressor pulls us into a large lockup:

Sweaty IMMIGRANTS work spraying reject Christmas trees,
shellac, then white or red paint, then glitter.

One worker COUGHS a lung, we back off.

EXECUTIVE MISTER (O.S.)
Santa baby, **** yeah, all the
****in' jingle way down, ****ing,
candy cane lollipop ****toy bitch-

We follow the sing-song expletives to find:

SANTOS, 20 hard years so far, full SANTA SUIT, beard and all,
on his knees blowing the EXECUTIVE MISTER for all he's worth.

EXECUTIVE MISTER
Oh santa baby, Baby, SANTA BABY!!

Santos pulls down his fake beard and spits.

SANTOS
Merry Christmas, boss.

The Mister fumbles a couple of twenties.

SANTOS
So you, umm, maybe wanna take a
look at my headshots now?

EXECUTIVE MISTER
Oh. I'm sorry, I'm not- I'm just a
lawyer. I don't really know anyone.

Santos' tweaky eye puppydogs, the Mister ponies up a few more
bills.

As the Mister retreats, O'HENRY, Irish 42, arms down to his
knees, fists like shovels, lumbers out of the shadows.

O'HENRY
Sonny Jim, ya always get 'em with
dat headshots line. ****in sweet as-
(imitating)
Would you like to see me headshots?

O'Henry cracks up laughing.

Santos peels a twenty off and hands it over, religiously
splitting the rest-- left sock, right sock, underpants.

O'HENRY
We been at this **** for hours,
you're like a ****in machine, time
for some Christmas shopping now,
right?

SANTOS
If you gotta need man, O.K., but I
gotta work.



INT. MISTRESS COURTNEY'S LOFT - DAY

Torture equipment adorns the walls.

A GREY HAIRED JOHN is on his hands and knees, MISTRESS
COURTNEY'S six inch red spike pushed into his shoulder.

MISTRESS COURTNEY
****ing Cristal, you bought me
Cristal! Do I look like a Cristal
girl to you? Who do you think I am?

GREY HAIRED JOHN
I'm sorry Mistress, sorry mistress.

MISTRESS COURTNEY
WHO DO YOU THINK I AM, ****BAG?

GREY HAIRED JOHN
You are the great and wondrous
Mistress Courtney and my lowly gift
was the most expensive they had at-

MISTRESS COURTNEY
At the ****ing corner store you
bitch! Does the great and wondrous
Mistress Courtney deserve to have
her Christmas present from Jack's?
Get on the bench.

GREY HAIRED JOHN
I am very bad, perhaps I should
clean the mistress's toilet.

MISTRESS COURTNEY
GET-ON-THE-BENCH.



EXT. SAN PEDRO & OLMYPIC - EVENING

Santos signals the IVY LEAGUE MISTER he's chatting up to
wait, and meets O'Henry at the corner.

SANTOS
He wants me to go up to his loft.

O'HENRY
I'm on a thread boyo, I gotta fix.

SANTOS
Just come give him the eyeball so
he's know not to **** with me.

O'Henry gives Santos the eyeball.

SANTOS
You want grease for an eyeball?

O'HENRY
We all got expenses.

Santos pulls a twenty out of his underpants.

They head back to the Ivy League Mister.

O'HENRY
What you working so hard for?

SANTOS
Christmas.

O'HENRY
You spending all that butter, man,
you best come shopping with me.

SANTOS
I'm not buying ****, I'm clean, I'm
getting a special gift for my baby.

O'HENRY
Don't matter what you get her,
she'd rather have the ****.

SANTOS
Not this year she wouldn't.

O'Henry greets the Mister in his own inimitable way.



INT. MISTRESS COURTNEY'S LOFT, ANTE ROOM - EVENING

BETTY-ANNE, 50s, opens the door for a bald INDUSTRY TYPE.

BETTY-ANNE
You did bring a present didn't you?

RAPID TWACKS and SCREAMS issue from behind the curtain.

INDUSTRY TYPE
She sounds angry, maybe I-

BETTY-ANNE
That would just make her angrier.

He hands over cash and a bottle of Cristal with a bow on it.

Mistress Courtney strides out, the industry type drops to his
knees. Courtney rolls her eyes at the bottle of Cristal.

MISTRESS COURTNEY
(to industry type)
INSIDE!

Obediently he crawls through the curtain.

MISTRESS COURTNEY
Betty, just get what you can for
them, cash and quick.

Betty-Anne collects up six bottles of Cristal and leaves.

Courtney pulls out her cell, dials, waits-

MISTRESS COURTNEY
**** baby I missed you? I'm sorry.
You're right, there's no changing
who we are. You come over for
Christmas eve, just us, we'll have
a party. I'm so sorry. I love you.

[Mark Somers]

THE GIFT OF THE SEX WORKERS ( Part 2 of 2 )


INT. METRO BUS - MORNING

The backseat: Santos, used up and smelly, still in the suit.



EXT. DOWNTOWN - MORNING

Courtney, in civvies, cellphone pinned to her ear.

MISTRESS COURTNEY
3.30? Yes, I have cash. O.K., 3.30.



INT. METRO BUS - MORNING

Santos speaks into his cellphone, leaving a message

SANTOS
Cariño, so sorry. I'm clean, three
days chica, I'm coming tonight. I
got a big surprise for you.



EXT. NATIONAL BLVD. - DAY

Courtney steps off a bus, eyes straight up she literally
walks through the DOWDY CHRISTIAN LADY.

CHRISTIAN LADY
Christmas is the celebration of the
birth of our lord. What do you
think would have happened if Mary-

Courtney disappears into a clinic with a pink logo.



INT. BONPOINT BABY BOUTIQUE, BEVERLY HILLS - DAY

Chandeliers, delicate holiday decorations, opulence on sale.

Santos enters in his dirty Santa suit, eyes on a gorgeous
blue and white baby's crib.

An UPPITY SALES LADY is on him immediately, but he grabs the
crib and heads straight for the cash register.

He pulls out his cash, left sock, right sock, underpants.

SANTOS
Four hundred fifty, six hundred,
seven, seven twenty, seven forty,
seven ninety-- eight hundred.



INT. MISTRESS COURTNEY'S LOFT - EVENING

Courtney sets a table for two, wine, take out, paper napkins
folded intricately into snowmen.

Across the table, a Christmas card and arranged in front of
it her clinic receipt reading, "EARLY TERM ABORTION."

The table's centerpiece-- a little dish holding the night's
treats, some pills, some weed, some rocks.

She can't help herself, she fires up a rock pulling deep on a
dirty glass pipe.

The elevator grinds, the doors open.

Santos enters, the fancy crib in his arms.

SANTOS
Happy Christmas, baby.

The pride in his eyes catches the pipe in her mouth and
falls.

************************************************** ******************************

Optional by authors request: http://www.box.net/shared/static/h78dd1oz6v.pdf

[Mark Somers]

A CHRISTMAS STAR ( Part 1 of 2 )


FADE IN:

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The KID, (an 8 years old boy), fidgets at his place next to the end of the dining room table. He wears a white shirt, with a too-tight collar, and clip-on bow tie. A dessert plate sits before him with the crumbs of a long-gone slice of pie.

KID
May I be excused, please?

MOM, (early 40s), at the end of the dining room table, glances away from the dinner conversation between DAD and BILL PUTNAM, (mid 40s), (O.S.), and scowls at having been distracted.

MOM
No.

KID
I'm all finished.

MOM
I said, no. Now be quiet.

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
That was the beginning of the end of the magic of Christmas for me. In a few minutes, I became an atheist.

The Kid looks from his corner of the dining room table, past Dad and Bill, engaged in a MOS conversation, BETTY PUTNAM, (mid 40s), an empty place setting next to Betty, and CARL PUTNAM, (12 years old), to the Christmas tree in the

LIVING ROOM

Atop the Christmas tree, an ornamental star glistens.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (WINTER) - DAY

The Kid struggles with a large snow shovel to clear the driveway of snow.

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
I knew all about Santa, by then; and, knew that if I made any complaint, that I wouldn't be getting anything on Christmas morning.

The Kid stops to wipe the sweat from his brow and looks up at the rooftop of the house, (which hasn't any chimney).

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
We never had a chimney, for Santa to come down, but there was that star.

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The Kid, stuck in his chair, looks out the window into the darkness of the night.

KID
May I be excused, please?

MOM
No.

The Kid looks to see Carl reading a comic book near the Christmas tree.

KID
Carl and Sally were excused.

MOM
The Putnams are our guests. Be quiet.

KID
I want to look for the star.

Bill turns his attention to the Kid, then to Dad.

BILL
What star is that?

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (SPRING) - DAY

The Kid stabs the earth with a weeding tool and pulls another yellow dandelion from the half-weeded lawn.

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
I still had hopes that the story of the wise men and their star wasn't just another Christmas myth.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (SUMMER) - DAY

The Kid struggles to push a lawn mower up a steep slope of the lawn, then wheels it around to pull it up the slope, behind him, instead.

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
The star was in the Bible, unlike Santa. What I needed a real telescope, and, that, meant being good for Santa.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (AUTUMN) - DAY

The Kid rakes leaves off of the half-cleared lawn.

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
All my savings and twenty-five cents, a week, for a whole year, couldn't buy a real telescope.

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The Kid turns his attention to Bill.

KID
The Christmas star. I've got--

DAD
(interrupting)
Didn't your mother tell you to be quiet! Mr. Putnam isn't interested in your toys.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (WINTER) - DAY

The Kid struggles to drag a metal trash can from the house down the driveway. It tips over and spills garbage. He rights the trash can and cleans up the spill.

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
It was a toy that Santa gave me that Christmas, not a real telescope. It was from a cheap toy store, not from the hobby shop.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

In his pajamas, next to the Christmas tree, the Kid examines the toy store box with great disappointment and anguish.

MOM
You should be grateful to get anything, when I was a little girl, we didn't get store-bought toys.

DAD
Maybe, we can take it back and get something else. I've still got the receipt for it.

The Kid looks at the star atop the tree and sheds a tear.

[Mark Somers]

A CHRISTMAS STAR ( Part 2 of 2 )


INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The Kid uses a cloth napkin to wipe away a tear.

BILL
You see, part of the problem is that you only moved here five years ago. There are a lot of members who've been waiting a lot longer for our committee to nominate them to become a deacon. Betty and I appreciate--

The pop of an exploding ornament comes from the

LIVING ROOM

Sally Putnam, (3 years old), swings a toy telescope like a baseball bat and shatters another ornament on the Christmas tree. A half dozen ornaments drop onto the floor.

BETTY (O.S.)
Sally!

Sally wields the telescope like a club and clobbers the fallen ornaments, one after the other.

DINING ROOM

The Kid strains to rise up in his chair to see what the cause of the commotion could be. Mom pushes him back down.

BILL (O.S.)
Carl, why aren't you looking after your sister?

KID
My telescope!

Sally shrieks (O.S.).

BETTY (O.S.)
Don't grab your sister!

CARL (O.S.)
What am I s'pposed to do to stop her?

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (WINTER) - NIGHT

Betty, Carl and Sally wait inside a car, in the driveway.

Bill, in his winter coat, speaks to Dad at the front door.

BILL
I'll gladly pay for any--

DAD
It's nothing, just a few ornaments.

BILL
You're sure?

DAD
Of course, who doesn't break a few each season. Listen, I'll see you at church, Sunday, and we'll talk some more, without the kids around to bother us.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The Kid sweeps up the shattered ornaments with a brush and dustpan.

MOM
It'll probably work alright with a bit of mending tape.

KID
(fighting back tears)
It's cracked. We can't take it back to the store.

Mom winds "invisible" tape from a dispenser around the telescope tube to bind it together. The telescope's objective lens slides out of the tube and falls onto the floor.

MOM
Oops. I can fix that.

Mom tears off a few more inches of "invisible" tape.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE (WINTER) - DAY

The Kid empties the dustpan filled with the broken shards of Christmas tree ornaments into the metal trash can.

KID (V.O.)
(adult voice)
My father became a deacon, years later; and, my mother continues to sing in the church choir.
(looks up at the stars)
I still go out at night to look at the stars. When I see a falling star, I don't make any magical wish. I know that it's only a speck of dust burning brightly, and soon gone, forever.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Atop the Christmas tree, the ornamental star has vanished.

FADE OUT:

[Mark Somers]

A CHRISTMAS CRIME


EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT

Blinking coloured lights and gently falling snow tell us
it's Christmas Time on this quiet suburban street.



EXT. HOUSE - SAME

A picture perfect home. Like something from a Christmas
Card. Golden light pours out from frost covered windows.

We hold on this image.

TIME CUT TO:



LATER

THE SAME IMAGE, but the golden light has given way to
darkness as the lights inside have been turned off.

A shooting star STREAKS across the sky as --

-- An ominous DARK FIGURE steps into frame and looks up to
the sleeping home. It waits a second then moves towards it.



EXT. REAR OF HOUSE - SAME

Torch in hand, The Dark Figure moves to a set of DOORS,
takes a crowbar from his pocket and quietly works the lock.

CUT TO:

A BILLION TWINKLING COLOURED LIGHTS.

Like God used his paint set to colour the STARS. But these
stars are different. They move ever so slightly.

Pull back slowly to reveal TINSEL. Hanging on a Christmas
Tree and reflecting blinking coloured lights. We're in --



INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

-- And looking at a MAJESTIC CHRISTMAS TREE sitting in
shadow in the corner of the lavishly decorated living room.

There's an audible CLICK and then the sound of a door
opening. The Dark Figure enters the room.



INT. BEDROOM - SAME

DAVID and VICTORIA, late 20's, sleep in a large double bed.

Victoria wakes, reaches out and turns on the bedside lamp.
She listens for a moment and then rolls over to David.

VICTORIA
(whispering)
David.

David doesn't respond.

WOMEN
(whispering)
David!

She gives him a nudge.

VICTORIA
(whispering)
David.

He finally stirs.

DAVID
(tired)
What?

VICTORIA
(whispering)
Did you hear that?

DAVID
No...

VICTORIA
(whispering)
I heard something.

For the first time David's eyes creek open. He listens.

DAVID
I don't hear anything.

VICTORIA
(whispering)
I thought I heard something.

David closes his eyes again.

DAVID
Evidently.

Victoria sighs and lays back down.

DAVID
(smiling)
Maybe it was Santa.

She gives him a playful shove.

VICTORIA
Just go back to sleep.

She reaches out and turns off the bedside lamp..



INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME

A pile of DVD's are slid off a shelf and into an open bag.

The lights are on now and the Dark Intruder is ransacking
the place. It's a real mess.

DVD's, CD's, CASH, JEWELRY, anything he can find is packed
into his bag in relative silence.

He stops, sees something.

The Christmas Tree. Or more specifically, the pile of
expertly wrapped CHRISTMAS PRESENTS that sit below it.

The Dark Figure lets rip an evil grin. But his bag's full.
He looks around for another one. No dice. He heads to the --



INT. KITHCEN - NIGHT

-- and starts to look through draws and cupboards for a
bigger bag. He stops at one cupboard as he finds something.

He pulls a BISCUIT TIN from the cupboard and gives it a
slight shake. He puts it on the work top and opens it...

And there's that grin again. The Tin is full of money. A
not so secret any more stash of cash.

He pockets the loot and goes on looking for another bag.



INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The Dark Figure has found a new bag and steps back into the
living room. He heads right for the Christmas Tree.

He squats down and starts to pack the presents into the new
bag. He doesn't see what we see just behind him.

Two SHINY BLACK BOOTS and a pair of VELVET RED PANTS.

BLACK BOOTS
Tut, tut, tut.

The Dark Figure flinches as he realises there's someone
stood right behind him. He shakes his head... Damn.



INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

There's a loud bang. Victoria opens her eyes and gets up.

VICTORIA
(to herself)
I definitely heard something that
time.

She looks to David who's dead to the world and rolls her
eyes. She slowly slips out of bed and out of the room.



INT. STAIRS - NIGHT

Quiet as a mouse she creeps down the stairs, straining to
hear anything out of the ordinary.

There is a sound. But what the hell is it?

As she reaches the bottom of the stairs the sound gets...
Louder isn't the word... More distinct.

It robs her of her confidence. She reaches out and takes a
large lethal looking candle stick from a window ledge.

She takes a deep breath and moves towards the living room.



INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Where there's some major magical **** going on.

Over the BROAD SHOULDER of a man with FLOWING WHITE HAIR we
see a pile of DVD's magically fall into place on a shelf.

By the SHINY BLACK BOOTS and moving up to the VELVET RED
PANTS we see a stack of CD's appear in steel CD RACK.

A BLACK GLOVED HAND waves over an OPEN DRAWER as Jewelry
reappears. When the drawer's full the it quickly shuts.

SUDDENLY THE LIVING ROOM DOOR SWINGS OPEN and Victoria
barges in, holding the candle stick like a baseball bat.

But the room is empty and untouched. A perfect Christmas
Card image.

If one was to look real hard they may see the faintest
sprinkling of what could only be described as MAGIC DUST.

It hangs in the air in the rough shape of a LARGE ROBUST
MAN. But just for a beat. It's gone before Victoria saw it.

She steps into the room and looks around. All is well. The
strange sound is gone.

She puts the candle stick down, shrugs, turns and leaves
the room switching the lights off as she goes.

We're left in the darkness and looking at the beautiful
sight of a Christmas tree full of light and magic.

FADE TO BLACK:

FADE IN:

On the Dark Intruders face in profile. Tilt 180% to see --



EXT. FRONT GARDEN - NIGHT

-- the Dark Intruder is on his back on thick layer of PURE
WHITE SNOW. He struggles a little... His hands are tied up.

We hear footsteps and move down his body to his feet. They
are also tied. We see the legs of a man in Black Boots.

After a beat the man walks away. We hear animal noises,
wooden creaking and the slight tinkle of slay bells.

Then in an explosion of speed, the Dark Intruder is dragged
out of frame FEET FIRST.

The sound of SLEIGH BELLS slowly fades into the distance.



EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

The same Perfect Christmas Card image.

Something streaks across the sky above leaving a trail of
magic dust behind it we --

FADE OUT:



THE END

[Mark Somers]

SLAUGHTER CLAUS ( Part 1 of 2 )


FADE IN:

INT. CAR -DAY

TINA (30’s), a cosmetic surgery veteran wearing sunglasses. Flashes of Xmas decorations can be seen outside the window as she drives through town square.

LITTLE GIRL (O.S.)
Can I listen to my new cd Mommy, please???

CASSANDRA (6), stares right through us. Her eyes are dark and hypnotic. Her smile is not charming, it’s wicked.

TINA
Alright...just a second.

A CD is held up and quickly shoved into the cd player.

TINA (CONT’D)
Here you go.

A song starts to play and it’s a haunting piece, yet the violin is beautiful. Cassandra’s eyes are closed, eerily they open.

CASSANDRA
When I hear this song it makes me sad.

TINA
Some songs are sad Cassandra.

CASSANDRA
Not like this one.

TINA
Why is that?

CASSANDRA
Because this is how I feel when you die.

TINA
When I die?

Silence.

CASSANDRA
We all die tonight, mommy.

TINA
Keep talking like that and Santa won’t be visiting us tonight.

CASSANDRA
Mom,
(tears roll down her face)
Santa’s already dead.

TINA
Cassandra!!!

INT. HOUSE - EVENING
Xmas dinner and a full house of chaos: kids running around and adults drinking like it’s already New Years. Cassandra is in a corner by herself, as if she’s waiting for something to happen.

Cassandra’s brother, CHESTER (11), is curious and bored. He walks through the fray to a back window. With his fingers he opens a blind. Frightened, he runs to their dad yelling at the top of his lungs.

In the kitchen, CHUCK--urban red-neck with a cowboy hat.

CHUCK
What in god’s name is wrong with you?

CHESTER
Pa, they’re scary people in the backyard!

EXT. BACKYARD
Lights illuminate the backyard of a house.
The door swings open with Chuck and the curious Xmas party looking for scary people. Chester squeezes through to his dad.

CHESTER
They were everywhere, I swear.

Laughs.

INT. HOUSE
Cassandra is giving her mom a macabre stare.

TINA
Stop staring at me!

EXT. BACKYARD
It’s a creepy silence until hundreds of mutant elves emerge from the shadows, hungry. A blind from inside opens up. It’s Chester, wide-eyed.

INT. HOUSE
Scream! He runs to his dad and glues himself to his legs.

CHUCK
That’s it! I’m going to beat your ass.

The windows shatter and the door blasts open. Mutant elves explode into the room hacking away with their sickle-swords. The foul sounds of carnage echo off the wall as bones are cracking; flesh ripping open from their dagger like teeth. The screams are horrifying.

EXT. FRONT YARD
A fireball? No, a sleigh pulled by a dozen vampire deer with flaming antlers and bright red eyes.
Holding the reins, a ghoulish sight: SLAUGHTER CLAUS. Behind him are thousands of marching mutant elves.

The sleigh lands in the street as the elves swarm him. A hat hangs on his worm infested dreadlocks and instead of a beard, he has skin hanging from a decaying jaw. His skin secretes a greasy film that drips off his clothes.

He is approached by one of his creatures.

MUTANT ELF
The blood is fresh my master.

SLAUGHTER CLAUS
(smelling the air)
Let’s feast.

Slaughter Claus exits the sleigh as the elves clamor.

EXT. HILLS OVERLOOKING THE TOWN
Hope has arrived. Reindeer carrying Santa’s elves crowd the hills over the ravaged town. BUT Santa isn’t leading them, it’s an angelic, rosy cheeked young woman (18), dressed in a red body suit with stripes of white fur around her neck and wrists. She is ARTICA, daughter of Santa Claus.

She is approached by her elfin general, REX, as she looks down.

REX
Artica, we’re ready to attack.

ARTICA
We must stop Slaughter Claus before he spreads his death and destruction across the globe. Millions of children expecting presents will wake up only to find their final breath awaits them.

She walks up to a high ledge to address her army.

ARTICA
For our father! We must avenge his death and return the spirit of Xmas.

Loud roar of cheers. Artica jumps on a horse, spiraling down the hills, starting the deluge of invaders towards the inferno of burning buildings.

EXT. TOWNE SQUARE - MAIN ST.
Thunder from the reindeer’s hooves. The mutant elves wait in anticipation of the giant army’s arrival.
They engage. It’s a clash of two great forces, waves of energy ripple at impact. A blood bath ensues as both sides mount heavy loses. Artica stands out slashing the mutant elves at will with a battle axe, advancing.

[Mark Somers]

SLAUGHTER CLAUS ( Part 2 of 2 )


In front of town hall.

A large explosion by Artica, but she’s not in harms way. It’s Slaughter Claus whipping a chain of fire as he walks towards her. She accepts the challenge and pulls out her candy striped nunchaku. They whistle as she swings them skillfully into her battle position. He approaches.

ARTICA
Hello Uncle. Mother asked that I deliver this message to you, personally.

She attacks, swinging her nunchaku rapidly yet effectively. Slaughter Claus is only able to react. He regroups and his chain of fire wraps around her feet knocking her down. He whips her mercilessly in his retaliation. It’s brutal as she absorbs blow after blow of Slaughter Claus’ fury. She’s in trouble, he senses victory.

SLAUGHTER CLAUS
Merry Wickedmas, Artica.

Rex attacks Slaughter Claus from behind, but he’s no match as he is instantly slain by one fierce blow.

Enraged by his death, she manages to grab her nunchaku. Slaughter Claus strikes at her. She blocks his chain with her nunchaku, but it knocks her back down. She leg sweeps him to the ground and cart wheels to her feet with one hand.

She tosses her nunchaku and reaches behind her back drawing two thin white swords in a graceful stance.

ARTICA
Finished?

Slaughter Claus unveils his fire-sword and flamed shield. His eyes are fixed on Artica as he charges like a bull. Slaughter Claus and Artica fight to a standoff with a matched intensity. A stare down.

SLAUGHTER CLAUS
Let me introduce you to death!

He moves in for the kill, but she gives him her best shot with a round house kick and it stuns him. She twirls her swords to a stabbing position and thrusts them violently into his heart. Slaughter Claus is shaking and convulsing. A sinister scream permeates through the town.

EXT. HILL OVERLOOKING THE TOWN
Artica is leading her army back into the hills, they are victorious yet the mood is modest. Artica moves forward with the wind blowing her hair back.

INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
A chimney suddenly shakes and spews dust. A bag drops down, full of presents. We see Artica emerge. She winks and disappears back into the chimney.

[Mark Somers]

THE HONEY MOVERS ( Part 1 of 2 )


INT. TRAIN -- EVENING- SOMETIME IN THE MURKY FUTURE

A wobbling carriage creaks under the weight of somber PASSENGERS
bundled up for winter.

Through the carriage windows; a wintry mist. Lightposts bathe in amber light the edges of a crumbling city and patches of snow, dirty, trodden.

A woman's voice, kind, mature.

WOMAN (V.O)
Yule. The word hardly carries
the joy it once did.
Difficult times numb the
language, break the spirit.

On a MOTHER and small SON. The mother cradles a brightly colored Christmas cookie tin in her lap.

WOMAN (V.O)
Children no longer dream of
sugar cookies. Rats long ago
finished off our sugar stocks.

The mother opens the tin. It's chock full of buttons of all sizes and colors. She picks one out, a yellow one. She hands it to her son who pops it in his mouth and sucks.

MOTHER
Butterscotch, Kenny.

WOMAN (V.O)
Sugar is a staple of our past.
Our staple now--- uncertainty.
But there is something that
remains, something as sweet.
As valuable as gold and as
risky to move.

On a girl, REESE. She's barely
fourteen, petite with a pretty face with
bright blue eyes in a preoccupied stare
out a frosted window.

WOMAN (V.O)
And the dangerous task of
transporting it lies with most
delicate of creatures.

EXT. TRAIN -- EVENING

The train slows under an overpass. Three GOONS in shadow leap from the overpass onto the train.

They gather for their next move, frosty breath escaping over their scarves.

INT. TRAIN

Two of the goons scurry down an aisle. Passengers stiffen, never meet their eyes.

Reese breaks from her stare and spots them. With a surprising athleticism jumps over the passenger at her side and hurries down the aisle.

The goons take chase.

The child grabs the tin from his mother, overturns it sending buttons spilling out everywhere onto the aisle.

The goons run, slipping on the buttons, sail with flailing arms and legs onto their backsides.

Reese escapes to another carriage, turns, breathless, to see if she is being followed.

GOON
A fairy is easier to
catch.

A beefy arm circles her neck with a strong
grip. She can't possibly move.

GOON
I've caught myself
a sweety.

INT. MANSION-- EVENING -- LATER

The goon pulls Reese down a dimly lite hall to a large drawing room.

MR. BOULDERSIZE, old and grim, who carries his heartlessness on his sleeve, stands by a fireplace.

BOULDERSIZE
Is there not a better
Christmas gift for a Bouldersize
than a taste of heaven?

He approaches Reese who squirms in the goon's embrace.

Bouldersize removes her coat, tosses it to the floor.
He places his thumb and index finger on her chin, grins.

BOULDERSIZE
I'm simply the best
at sniffing it out, you know.

He reaches for a hairclip on her tied-up hair and pulls it out. Reese's hair falls revealing a canvas bag tied with a ribbon on her head.

Bouldersize unties the ribbon, pulls the canvas bag down to reveal a chunk of hardened honey glistening with a sheen of unhardened coating.

He sticks a finger in the coating, brings it to his lips and savors the taste.

He looks Reese over, she stands forlorn, defeated.

BOULDERSIZE
Life's a sticky business, isn't it?

INT. MANSION- MOMENTS LATER

Bouldersize places the hardened honey in to a pan on the fireplace. Reese looks warily at the what he is doing.

REESE
You were once a good man
Mr. Bouldersize. Now all you
bring is hurt and misery for
everyone.

BOULDERSIZE
Somethings harden and go
bad. But to my pleasure, honey's
not one of them.

REESE
I need to use the
bathroom.

BOULDERSIZE (fixated on the honey)
It's a perfect golden
color, smell's peculiar, though.
Must be from old Texas colonies.

REESE (fiddling in place)
Honestly, I need to go.

The Goon follows her concerned look to the honey and back to her.

GOON
Boss, I think it's a ---

Bouldersize motions to let her go.

Reese takes off running. Time slows as she looks back with eyes, wide, frightened.

She makes it to the bathroom, slams the door.

INT. BATHROOM

BOOOOOOOM!! The door splinters with a blast. Smoke pours in as she crouches for cover in a corner.

[Mark Somers]

THE HONEY MOVERS ( Part 2 of 2 )


INT. MANSION

Reese stumbles out of the bathroom, coughing from the smoke.
Bouldersize's lifeless arm sticks out from under some smoking rubble.

A hole in the ceiling sends a ray of moonlight
to fracture into a thousand rays in a cloud
of dust. Shadows of young girls, the other MOVERS move about like
fairies with voices, quiet and gentle, except for one, this is KEEBLER.

KEEBLER (approaching Reese)
You're not a pretty sight.

REESE
I bet you've been practicing
that all day.

Voices break the tension between the two.

VOICES
Come! Look!

The two follow the voices into a grand space.

The other movers surround a huge Christmas
tree of metallic branches.

One tiny girl stands by a large spinning wheel of
colored lights that illuminate the tree.

TINY GIRL (a slight lisp)
I've never ever seen
aluminum.

Another mover with glasses examines
a branch of the Christmas tree.

GIRL WITH GLASSES
Actually, it's a chinese
reproduction.

On Reese's eyes as she looks up at the tree.

INT. TRAIN -- EVENING

Another train, another wobbling carriage with
somber passengers on a journey somewhere.

WOMAN (V.O)
I'm no longer delicate.
Well, my children and husband may
think so, and well, I enjoy it that way.

On the WOMAN, those bright blue eyes
make it no mistake, this is Reese, now
an older woman.
She sits with her loving HUSBAND and
two shiny CHILDREN.

WOMAN (V.O)
I see them sometimes,
The Honey Movers.

On a YOUNG GIRL, pretty, petite.
Her face is weary as she stares out at snow
fluttering down outside her window.

WOMAN (V.O)
Their missions have only
grown more dangerous. They travel
now with guardians, recruited from
dark alleys with the stench of
alcohol.

The girl lifts her sweater from under her
coat to cover her nose from the smell of
the gaunt, unshaven GUARDIAN seated
next to her.

She turns from the window. The woman
and her meet eyes.

The woman smiles lovingly, mouths
the words in a whisper,

WOMAN
Merry Christmas.

The young girl turns back to the window.

WOMAN (V.O)
Maybe, I thought, I
was wrong, but then---

The young girl turns back. Her eyes hold
suspicion, then soften.


EXT. TRAIN -- EVENING

The train wobbles down a track. Light glows
from its windows to gild flutters of fresh
snow.

WOMAN (V.O)
Her lips moved against the
worn cotton of her sweater.
Four times moved. "Merry
Christmas", I'm certain of it.



FADE TO BLACK

[Mark Somers]

BILLY'S BOOGIE BALL ( Part 1 of 2 )


FADE IN:

WHITE
Eight years old, alone against a white background.

BILLY
My name is Billy and I pick my nose.

Billy sticks his finger up his nose and moves it around.

BILLY
Mom thinks it's disgusting. Dad calls it digging for treasure. I sort of agree with Dad --

Billy pulls a large slimy boogie from his nose and smiles at his find.

BILLY
But for me it's much more than treasure, for me boogies are a way of life.

INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY
It's decorated for Christmas. Boys and girls sit at long institutional tables. Billy sits at the end of one, across from TOMMY. Both have their fingers up their noses.

BILLY (V.O.)
My best friend Tommy is into boogies as much as I am.

Both pull out a plum boogie at the same time, much to their pleasure and much to the distress of the nearby children.

BILLY (V.O.)
Only he likes to eat them.

Tommy pops his boogie in his mouth and smiles as he chews. Billy gives him a slightly disgusted look but the nearby children dry retch.

TOMMY
It recycles the protein!

BILLY (V.O.)
I could never eat a boogie. I'm more of what you would call a collector.

Billy pulls a ball out of his pocket that looks like it's made of green threads. Then he puts his freshly picked boogie on the ball.

Tommy is in awe of the ball.

BILLY
It's every boogie I've ever picked.

TOMMY
Lemme see.

BILLY
No! You'll eat it.

TOMMY
I only eat my own.

Billy reluctantly hands the ball to Tommy. Tommy rolls it over in his hands, fascinated. Billy is proud.

INT. HOME
Billy enters the front door, with his finger up his nose. MOM is in the kitchen.

MOM (O.S.)
You better not be picking your nose again, young man.

Billy quickly pulls his finger from his nose.

BILLY (V.O.)
How does she know?

MOM (O.S.)
Remember what Santa gives to nose-pickers.

Billy can't remember.

BILLY
Hair on their palms?

MOM (O.S.)
Billy!

Billy shrugs.

INT. BILLY'S ROOM
Billy takes the boogie ball from his pocket and stares at it with a loving smile. He places it gently on his dresser.

Behind him the door to his room is ajar. An eye peers in.

INT. BILLY'S ROOM
The morning sun streams in the window. Billy turns over and yawns, then he snuffles.

He sticks his finger up his nose and moves it around. Then Eureka, the biggest boogie ever seen comes from his nose.

BILLY (V.O.)
The last day of school before Christmas break was the worst day of my entire life.

He looks at the dresser, the ball is gone.

INT. KITCHEN
Dad sits at the table absorbed in the paper and Mom serves him a bacon and egg smiley face.

Billy's scream makes the room shakes. Mom glances calmly toward the sound.

MOM
He's noticed.

Dad shakes the paper.

DAD
You shouldn't have done it.

Billy comes screaming into the room. Mom acts all innocent.

BILLY
It's gone! It's gone!

MOM
What's gone?

BILLY
My --

Billy looks at his Mom and she transforms into a hag.

HAGMOM
Stop picking your nose or you'll go blind.

Then she's normal again.

MOM
Your what dear?

BILLY
Nothing.

Billy turns around and slumps away.

MOM
Have some breakfast.

BILLY (V.O.)
I lost my most precious possession in the world. I could never eat again.

INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA
Tommy pulls a nice sized boogie from his nose.

TOMMY
Whoa! Look at this one!

He extends his finger toward Billy. Billy shrugs and plays with his food. Tommy pops the boogie in his mouth.

TOMMY
You gotta get over it. When you fall off your bicycle you gotta get right back on. Start a new collection.

BILLY
Maybe I'll just collect stamps.

Billy pushes his tray away and walks off. Tommy mouth hangs open and a half-chewed boogie hangs out. SUZY sits nearby.

SUZY
Ewww! That's disgusting.

Tommy pushes the boogie back into his mouth, then he leans in closer to Suzy.

TOMMY
If you think that's disgusting, I read that when a girl turns thirteen...

[Mark Somers]

BILLY'S BOOGIE BALL ( Part 2 of 2 )


INT. LIVING ROOM
Billy listlessly unwraps a present. Mom and Dad watch from the sideline, hopeful.

It's a very expensive MP3 player. Billy tosses it aside with all his other presents: A bicycle, a computer, a game console, a live pony...

Billy sighs. Mom and Dad look disappointed.

BILLY
Mom and Dad tried so hard to make me feel better. Is it possible they felt guilty about the disappearance of my boogie ball?

Billy snuffles. He raises he finger to his nose. Mom and Dad watch with anticipation, but all Billy does is wipe his nose on his hand. Mom can't take it anymore.

MOM
Just pick it! Go on, pick it!

Billy looks at Mom incredulously.

MOM
If I'd known you would sulk like this I would never have thrown away that filthy disgusting ball.

BILLY
It was you...

The doorbell rings. Mom glances at Dad, he doesn't know who's there. Mom answers it. Billy fumes.

It's Tommy. He's all smiles as he hops on in. He ignores everyone else's foul mood.

TOMMY
Merry Christmas.
(to Billy)
Brought you a present.

He hands the gift to Billy.

BILLY
I don't want it.

TOMMY
Open it. Go on.

Billy reluctantly unwraps the present. Under the wrapping is a box, he's curious now. He opens the box and inside is a boogie ball. Billy looks up at Tommy with amazement.

BILLY
How?

TOMMY
I went to everybody on the block and asked for donations.

Billy, all smiles now, gives Tommy a big hug.

BILLY
Thanks Tommy, that's the best present ever.

TOMMY
It's smaller than your old one but...

Mom and Dad look at each other, they smile and then nod.

DAD
We can help with that.

They stick their fingers up their noses and dig around. Billy and Tommy watch with shocked amusement. Then Mom and Dad each pull out great big slimy boogie and present them.

BILLY (V.O.)
Mom and Dad are the best. Merry Christmas everyone!

FADE OUT.

[Mark Somers]

RED ALERT


FADE IN:

INT. WELL-LIT CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Rapid FOOTSTEPS. We float along the corridor, just ahead of
whoever's marching behind us.

We turn a sharp left into another corridor and float towards
a door marked, "C.I.C. - COMMAND INFORMATION CENTER."

A MILITARY POLICEMAN opens the door for us, and we enter--


INT. COMMAND INFORMATION CENTER - NIGHT

Control panels and displays borrowed from SG-1.

SERGEANT PETE BOBBIN sits at his station, watching a radar
scope.

The door is opened by the MP outside, and LIEUTENANT HANK
SPITZBURGER storms in, all spit and polish.

SPITZBURGER
Hell's going on, Sergeant?

BOBBIN
Defense chain lit up five minutes
ago, sir. We have an inbound "X"
range thirty miles, speed five hundred
knots, heading right for us.

Spitzburger peers over Bobbin's shoulder. On the radar scope,
a contact FLASHES near the top of the screen. Little numbers
indicate range, velocity.

SPITZBURGER
Have you communicated with the
inbound?

BOBBIN
Inbound has refused parley.

SPITZBURGER
Have you nominated alert fighters?

BOBBIN
Two border interdiction F-18s are in
the air, estimated time to intercept,
three minutes. He'll be on top of
us before they get to him.

On the radar scope, the contact FLASH is much closer.

SPITZBURGER
We are going to Level One.

Spitzburger takes a key on a chain from around his neck.
Bobbin does the same.

They insert their keys into opposite ends of a control panel.

SPITZBURGER
On my mark, three, two, one.

On "one" they twist their keys at the same time.


EXT. SNOWBOUND WILDERNESS - NIGHT

A remote-controlled missile rack shakes off a covering of
snow, rotates and lifts its nose up so its twin missiles
point at the sky.


INT. COMMAND INFORMATION CENTER - NIGHT

BOBBIN
We have missile lock.

Spitzburger snatches up a microphone.

SPITZBURGER (INTO MIKE)
Unidentified aircraft you are in
violation of military airspace and
will be shot down if you continue on
your present course. Respond please.

They stare at a loudspeaker. It just HISSES.

SPITZBURGER
Unidentified aircraft this is your
last chance. Respond please.

More HISSING from the loudspeaker.

BOBBIN
Inbound will be over us in thirty
seconds, sir.

SPITZBURGER
I authorize you to shoot.

BOBBIN
Shooting now.

Bobbin flips up a protective cover and thumbs a red button.


EXT. SNOWBOUND WILDERNESS - NIGHT

The twin missiles blast from the launch rack and zip up into
the sky.

Seconds tick by... a section of the sky lights up briefly,
like a fireworks display, then darkens again.


INT. COMMAND INFORMATION CENTER - NIGHT

The radar scope is clear.

BOBBIN
Inbound has been destroyed, sir.

SPITZBURGER
Inform Command Six that we have taken
out an unidentified aircraft with
extreme prejudice. Squirt them
details and voice recordings.
Maintain Level One alert for thirty
minutes, then stand down if no further
activity.

BOBBIN
Yes, sir.

Spitzburger heads for the door. Before he exits, a telephone
RINGS. Bobbin picks up the receiver.

BOBBIN (INTO PHONE)
C.I.C. go ahead.

As he listens, Bobbin's frown deepens.

SPITZBURGER
What is it?

BOBBIN
Observation station reports falling
debris, sir.

SPITZBURGER
Can they tell what type of aircraft?

Bobbin listens some more, then hangs up.

BOBBIN
That's what's confusing them, sir.

SPITZBURGER
We'll send out a team in the morning--

BOBBIN
Animal guts, sir. And... toys.
Thousands and thousands of toys.

Realization hits them. Spitzburger and Bobbin exchange
horrified looks.


EXT. SNOWBOUND WILDERNESS - NIGHT

A blackened, smoking teddy bear with one eye hanging out
lies on a field of white snow, surrounded by splotches of
bright red blood, a tragic casualty.

Tilt up at the dark sky.

Faint sound of BELLS a-jingling.

FADE OUT

[Mark Somers]

OFFICE PARTY ( Part 1 of 2 )


INT. OFFICE HIGH RISE - NIGHT
Huge office decorated for Christmas. A party is in full swing. A couple hundred people dressed to impress laugh, eat, drink.... Drink some more.

The elevator doors glide open. AXEL MANLY (28) tall, handsome, smartly dressed, a man with big goals in life steps out.

FELIX KATZ (30) could easily adorn the cover of GQ if it wasn’t for the wild mop of hair on top of his head rushes to greet Axel.

FELIX
Where you been man?

Axel checks his watch, frowns.

AXEL
I’m thirty minutes late. Big deal.
It’s not like we have to clock in to party.

Felix takes a big gulp of something bright red in a plastic cup. He leans in to Axel, whispers.

FELIX
The boss s’been asking about you all evening.

Axel stares surprised at Felix.

AXEL
Miss Crenshaw?

Felix smiles, jabs Axel in the side with his elbow.

FELIX
I think she wants you.

AXEL
C’mon. She can have any guy she wants.
Why would she want me?

FELIX
You should see her tonight.

Felix make a WOW expression.

FELIX
I bet she’s the single reason we have global warming.

He drains the rest of the red stuff, burps.

Axel’s eyes widen. Felix turns to see what got his friend’s attention.

In slow motion, a vision worthy of worship by all men, yes, all men floats across the floor towards Axel and Felix.

MISS SOFIA CRENSHAW (35) long shiny raven hair that cascades down her shoulders and back. A perfect 10 body barely covered in a silky red dress with a black belt. Huge green eyes and full red lips that spread into a wide smile, perfectly framing the white teeth that also match the white fur on the sexy Santa hat on top of her head.

AXEL
...oh God...

FELIX
Goddess...

Sofia, delightfully giggly and tipsy gives Axel a hug.

Axel stands speechless with his mouth agape.

Sofia gazes into his eyes then speaks with a sultry voice.

SOFIA
Axel, I’ve been waiting for you all evening.

AXEL
You...you have?

SOFIA
Tonight is a very special night. I have a big surprise for you.

AXEL
You do?

She winks at him.

SOFIA
Something that will make you feel very very good.

A nervous giggle from Axel. Astounded expression from Felix.

SOFIA
But first you have to be a very good boy...
and do what I tell you to... You think you can do that for me?

Axel and Felix both nod yes. Yes!

Sofia pulls out a black silk scarf, ties it over Axel's eyes.

Felix jaw drops to the floor.

SOFIA
No peeking or I will be very disappointed in you.

Axel swallows.

AXEL
I promise I won’t.

Sofia takes Axel's arm, leads him away from the party down a corridor, into a--

BOARDROOM

--then guides him into a chair on the short end of the big table next to the door.

SOFIA
Wait here. I will be right back.

She exits the room, closes the door behind.

[Mark Somers]

OFFICE PARTY ( Part 2 of 2 )


AXEL (V.O.)
Am I the luckiest guy or what? She wants me.
She wants me bad.

There’s a loud gurgle from his stomach.

AXEL (V.O.)
Ah, ****. I wish I hadn’t eaten that chili for lunch...
Maybe she’ll be a while... I can’t help it.

He grimaces then lets out a big thunderous fart.

AXEL (V.O.)
Ahhh. That feels better... jeezus that one reeked.

He makes a face of disgust, waves his arms around in front of his face. He stands up, pulls his jacket off, waves it at the noxious odor, puts the jacket on then sits back down.

After a moment he crinkles his nose, opens the jacket, raises his arms one at the time, smells his arm pits.

AXEL (V.O.)
That’s it! I’m never eating chili again.

He puts his hand in front of his mouth, exhales into it, smells his breath.

AXEL (V.O.)
Damned onions!

Suddenly horror on his face.

AXEL (V.O.)
****! I can’t let her see those!

He jolts out of his seat, unbuckles his pants, pulls them down. Underneath he wears red silk boxers with tiny little bells on them that jingle when he moves. In front is a very crude picture of Santa with a giant erection and the text “come sit on Santa’s lap?”.

Axel pulls the boxers down as well.

AXEL
(to “little” Axel)
Don’t get exited yet my friend.

He works fast to get his shoes and pants off then back on again. He sticks the boxers into his jacket pocket then sits down just as the door opens.

Sofia walks in, she has something in her hand.

SOFIA
I’m back...

She strides up to Axel, places a fancy name display on the table in front of Axel.

The display reads “Regional Director of Operations, Axel Manly.

She removes the scarf from his eyes with great anticipation.

SOFIA
Open your eyes.

Axel opens his eyes. He stares at the name display then slowly looks up at the other end of the table where one woman and three men in their sixties in fancy suits and grim faces stare back at him.

Pure horror on Axel's face.

SOFIA
Merry Christmas and congratulations
on your promotion Axel.

[dpaterso]

There be 9 entries - pick your 1st, 2nd and 3rd favorites and PM the 3 titles to clueless (http://messageboard.donedealpro.com/boards/private.php?do=newpm&u=150).

DEATH TAKES A HOLIDAY
THE GIFT OF THE SEX WORKERS
A CHRISTMAS STAR
A CHRISTMAS CRIME
SLAUGHTER CLAUS
THE HONEY MOVERS
BILLY'S BOOGIE BALL
RED ALERT
OFFICE PARTY

-Derek