How do you use 'BAD HUMOR" when a Producer gives you an Outline to work with?

[Ben]

Let's take a very theoretical and academic question. If a producer wants you to write some dialogues/scenes using the following premise --what would a sample look like...

HERE IS THE PREMISE FROM AN OLD "CRACKED" MAGAZINE THAT YOU HAVE TO APPLY --

"Why Is A Gun Better Than A Girlfriend

1. You can trade in your old 44 for a new 22.
2. You can have one gun at home and another when you're on the road.
3. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he'll probably let you try it out.
4. One gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
5. Your gun stays with you even when you run out of ammo.
6. Guns don't take up much closet space.
7. Guns function normally every day of the month.
8. Your gun will never ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
9. A gun doesn't mind when you go to sleep after using it.
10. AND, you can buy a silencer for a gun!"

Looking forward to the best sample. So here is the chance to show off of skills. You don't know who's reading this forum.

Cheers,
Benjamin Ray
www.hollywoodtoronto.com (http://www.hollywoodtoronto.com)

[Rathmon]

Are we to use all of these points, or just a selection?

[mtoomey]

Guns aren't covered in maggots after being locked in the trunk of your car for 2 months.

you did say "bad" humor.

[Ben]

Hey Rathmon,

Max five.
Min three.

Cheers,

[Droz]

You could just write a dialogue scene including jokes based on this material. The bigger question is what is the overall movie about.

[cynicide]

Let's take a very theoretical and academic question.
Okay, let's! This should be a barrel of goddamn monkeys!

If a producer wants you to write some dialogues/scenes using the following premise --what would a sample look like...

Wait wait wait, I thought this was going to be theoretical and academic. Now you're getting all practical and ****. Hmm, is English your first language?


HERE IS THE PREMISE FROM AN OLD "CRACKED" MAGAZINE THAT YOU HAVE TO APPLY --

Whoops, looks like it isn't. And yeah, old Cracked magazines are a huge source of material for those writing screenplays. At least they are for people recovering from massive head trauma; I understand it's all part of the rehabilitation process. You're very brave, Ben.


"Why Is A Gun Better Than A Girlfriend

1. You can trade in your old 44 for a new 22.
2. You can have one gun at home and another when you're on the road.
3. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he'll probably let you try it out.
4. One gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
5. Your gun stays with you even when you run out of ammo.
6. Guns don't take up much closet space.
7. Guns function normally every day of the month.
8. Your gun will never ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
9. A gun doesn't mind when you go to sleep after using it.
10. AND, you can buy a silencer for a gun!"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How witty!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Looking forward to the best sample.

You are? Why? There's NOTHING FOR A MOVIE HERE! Movies are STORIES. Scenes are PARTS OF STORIES, and often small stories unto themselves. What you've posted has nothing to do with any story. It's a series of cheesy jokes not even worthy of an email forward. And any dialogue that involves a character spouting idiotic crap from an old Cracked Magazine had damn well better be pointing the ****ing stupidity of the character who's saying this nonsense.

So here is the chance to show off of skills.
Why, oh why, would anyone want to take the time to do anything with this fetid pile of stupid? And what skills, exactly, would be involved here? I mean, I guess humoring the brain damaged is a skill screenwriters could employ, but don't we have better uses of our time?

You don't know who's reading this forum.

I hope your caretakers are reading this forum. Anyone else who's reading this particular thread o' wonder in search of writing skills is doing the equvalent of mining for gold in a Portopotty.

Cheers,
Nope

Benjamin Ray
www.hollywoodtoronto.com (http://www.hollywoodtoronto.com)


The reason for the rage in response to your silliness? You're asking people to waste their time for your amusement, without making any contribution to anything yourself. Go find something better to do, like sleeping or alchemy.

Oh, and Merry Christmas!

[jillybob]

I think Ben's point was, what if a producer gives you something you don't find funny, and tells you to work from it and make something of it.

Producers/studios buy source material all the time -- non-fiction articles, books, etc -- and want a writer to make a movie from it. And, of course, if you do assignment writing and you want to eat, pay rent, etc, you may well have to write something you're not passionate about.

I don't know that the source material Ben picked is really represnetative of the sort of thing a producer would bring a writer, but I get what he was going for, point wise. He just tried to make a fun activity of it.

At least that's my understanding of what was supposed to be going on here. I could be wrong.

[Ben]

Hey Jillybob,

You're right on this.

More of a practice exercise.

I saw a documentary on how TV shows are written.

Usually you have the lead creative who throws tons of ideas to the junior/ quirky writers and expect samples.

Another example, lets say if a producer or a "very" senior writer asked for some funny dialogues to be written in 2 hours and the topic must involves guns and riffles and characters like LARRY THE CABLE GUY -- this can be a stressful task.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/813379/larry_the_cable_guy_health_inspector/videos/larrythecableguy_heathinspector_022406.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_the_Cable_Guy

But if you have a collection of good and bad material, then this can be easy. Of course you can always use GOOGLE.

But what if your internet is not working and you have less than one hour to finish.

Hey, maybe I'll do tons of research on that level before I query a TV producer, from the TV show 'MY NAME IS EARL"

www.nbc.com/My_Name_Is_Earl/

Hey I know that's a long shot but....


Cheers!