If Someone Who's Read Your Script Says

[WriteHandMan]

the concept is unique but the storyline is "superficial", what does that mean? I know what the word means. But what does it mean script-wise ... especially when it's a plot driven action or fantasy?

[Biohazard]

Failure to exploit the concept, perhaps?

Bruce Almighty is a story with a great concept, yet suffers from superficial execution. The concept was not exploited to the fullest.

[JonnyAtlas]

I think they are suggesting that the plot's throughline doesn't really utilize the depth of the concept. Essentially, that the storyline skims along the "surface" of the concept's "water", rather than "diving deep" and grazing the "ocean" floor.

At least, that's what I would get from it.

[Scripted77]

I think they are suggesting that the plot's throughline doesn't really utilize the depth of the concept. Essentially, that the storyline skims along the "surface" of the concept's "water", rather than "diving deep" and grazing the "ocean" floor.

At least, that's what I would get from it.

Agreed. I'd also wonder if there's enough character development happening. Although it's really just a guess since we don't know the specifics.

[WriteHandMan]

Failure to exploit the concept, perhaps?

Bruce Almighty is a story with a great concept, yet suffers from superficial execution. The concept was not exploited to the fullest.


Funny you should mention Bruce because my script is in that vein. Alot of fantasy/comedy movies I've seen tend to be gimmicky. There's the premise but not much else (ok guess my script is following suit.) But which ones would you say do exploit the concept to the fullest?

[Telly]

But which ones would you say do exploit the concept to the fullest?

I would say the film Back To The Future could have been superficial by not fleshing out the time travel concept to it's fullest, but in doing the opposite it embraced the original idea and drove it home in almost every scene. Time travel was the vehicle but could have been minimized, fortunately it wasn't. In Bruce Almighty we have the power of God as the vehicle and it wasn't fully explored.

[Ralphy W]

Bruce Almighty = superficial

Groundhog Day = fully exploited concept

[BattleDolphinZero]

I bet the mean the idea could be a movie, but the script isn't a movie yet.

Sometimes you read screenplays by newer writers and it feels like you're reading the outline with a few more details. Everyone is doing what they're supposed to do, and saying what they're supposed to say, but it feel empty.

Toss out Plotdriven and look at it from a character p.o.v. Ask yourself why what's happening is compelling. It should be compelling because of your central characters.

Vagina.

[Naudikom]

This is what scares me.

[Biohazard]

But which ones would you say do exploit the concept to the fullest?

Ralphy and Telly gave excellent examples.

[Telly]

Vagina.

Dude, I've been a bitter mess all morning. This one word had me rolling on the floor, perfect execution. You sir, made my day and I'm not sure how.

[roscoegino]

Bruce Almighty = superficial

Groundhog Day = fully exploited concept


Yes. GROUNDHOG DAY is a fine example. You think there's no where else to go and ... bang! Ramis hits you with something new. Textbook plotting. And very efficient writing, given that pretty much each sequence is a day. Since then many fantasy/comedies have attemped to duplicate that template ... with few good results.

[BattleDolphinZero]

Dude, I've been a bitter mess all morning. This one word had me rolling on the floor, perfect execution. You sir, made my day and I'm not sure how.

Telly, I do it for you.