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InScription production
01-19-2004, 12:07 AM
FADE IN:



INT. GARY'S APARTMENT - DAY

ON TELEVISION

An old black and white movie graces the screen. The couple
on screen embrace as they gaze into each other's eyes. True
romance in the making.

They slowly start to move in for the kiss.

Closer and closer. Her lips linger close to his.

They kiss! The first kiss. Sparks fly.

A BEER CAN SLAMS AGAINST THE SCREEN.

Beer sprays everywhere.

MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Bah!

The television set is small and old. A coat hanger acts as
an antennae.

A TELEVISION REMOTE

Crashes against the t.v screen as the couple passionately
kiss again.

MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Damn!

Shuffling is heard. The handle of a broom appears and
jerkily edges towards the channel button on the television.

It hits it's mark. The channel changes. News.

The broom handle hits the button again.

Drag racing appears on the television. The broom is
lowered. The man content with what is showing.

The broken remote lays on the wooden floor amid a sea of
newspapers, decaying food, pizza boxes, beer cans and other
debris.

A fly rises from the litter strewn floor and drifts lazily
across the room.

This is were we get our first glimpse of the apartment. To
sum it up in one word: Messy.

All many of garbage lines the barely visible floor. A rat
pokes it's head out of a hole in the peeling wall.

The fly continues it's flight past the kitchen. A pile of
dirty dishes overflow the sink while cockroaches scatter
around opened cans of baked beans and tuna.

Now the fly passes a window. The daylight is extremely
harsh due to the dark apartment. Buildings loom outside.

A HAND

swipes at the fly who zips out the window.

The hand belongs to GARY - the gruff voice heard earlier -
who at the moment loafs in an old leather worn armchair.

Unruly black slab of hair, heavy black stubble on his chin,
bloodshot sunken eyes, extremely overweight -- Gary's
present appearance.

If you look up the word 'Slob' in the dictionary there
would be a picture of Gary to accompany it.

Gary rubs his armpit and then smells his hand. Not liking
what he smells he wipes his hand on his boxers - the only
thing he is wearing.

Using the broom again Gary slides a box of pizza towards
him. He leans down and opens the box.

One slice of pizza is left. Gary shoos an exploring
cockroach from the slice and takes a bite.

Gary crunches hard on the stale pizza. He pulls a bit of
mould from the crust and finishes it.

A car on the television flips and crashes. Gary lets out a
'yahoo' and laughs. Chunks of pizza fly everywhere.

He coughs - chokes - desperately searches for a beer -
empty, empty, nearly empty - Gary finishes the beer and
pounds his chest with his hand.

He lets out a gigantic burp and smiles gleefully to
himself.

Crushing the can on his head Gary takes a shot across the
room like a basketball player.

The can hits the bin - which by the way is overflowing with
garbage - and falls to the floor.

GARY
Three pointer!

A low BEEP BEEP BEEP is heard.

Gary looks at his watch. Presses a button. The beeping
stops.

Gary groans and with great difficulty rises to his feet.
Surprisingly Gary is quite small. Only four feet tall.

He staggers, due to his excessive drinking, and steadies
himself.

He walks across the room and for the first time we notice
that on his back are two small, tattered angel wings.

Not big enough to allow him to fly though.

Gary slides a hand down his boxers and scratches his nether
regions with pleasure.

He staggers over to a cluttered table and snatches up a
card.

He staggers over to a window. Next to the window is a small
silver box. Gary slides the card in and presses a button.

A DING is heard.

GARY
(muttering)
Bloody job.

From a cardboard box on the floor labelled "Love @#%$",
Gary takes a crude contraption similar to a crossbow and
sets it up on the windowsill.

He then delves back into the box to protrude two small red
arrows and inserts them into the crossbow.

Gary checks his watch, takes the handle on the crossbow and
looks out the window waiting.

Sure enough outside on the other side of the street a
WEALTHY BUSINESS MAN in a suit briskly rounds the corner.

An ELEGANT LADY heads towards the man. They haven't noticed
each other yet.

Gary rolls his eyes, sighs and aims the crossbow at the
business man.

PWHANG. An arrow is released. The red streak zooms towards
the business man and hits him.

The man stops in his tracks. Red tingles over his body and
disappears.

Gary aims the crossbow. The elegant lady nears the business
man.



EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

PWHANG. The second arrow is released. Like a red streak it
zooms out the window.

BUT

It misses it's mark by a long shot. It wasn't aimed at the
elegant lady. It was aimed at

A HOOKER

The Hooker stops. Stunned. Red tingles over her body before
disappearing. She turns and sees the business man. He sees
her. Smiles.

And in a dorky kind of way the two embrace each other.



INT. GARY'S APARTMENT - DAY

Gary chuckles at his wrong doing.

He dives back into the box protruding two more arrows and
sets them into the contraption.

He checks his watch...waits. Now. He looks out the window.

A MALE TEENAGER waits at a bus stop. A FEMALE TEENAGER
saddles up next to him. The two don't notice each other
yet.

Gary takes aim.

PWHANG. The red arrow streaks out and hits the female
teenager. Red glow.

PWHANG. The next arrow is shot.



EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

The red streak of the arrow narrowly misses the male
teenager and hits a SAUCY LADY behind him.

The female teenager and the saucy lady exchange looks
before they passionately and madly start to kiss.

The male teenager notices. A big smile spreads across his
face as he watches.



INT. GARY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Gary snorts. He watches the ladies in action. He licks his
lips. His eyes glance over to a well used porno mag on a
table.



INT. GARY'S APARTMENT - LATER

The bathroom door is closed. All is quite.

FLUSH

The bathroom door opens. Gary exits adjusting his boxers.
He drops the mag on the table as he makes his way to the
kitchen.

Just as messy as the rest of the apartment. He opens the
fridge and inspects the inside.

Some mould, a six pack of beer and cans of tuna.

He grabs a beer and makes his way back to the window.

He checks his watch again. Looks out the window and spies
his next victims.

Gary rests the beer on the windowsill and loads two more
arrows into the crossbow.

Gary cracks open the beer. Foam sprays everywhere.

GARY
@#%$!

Gary knocks the crossbow and it fires. Both Arrows.

PWHANG PWHANG



EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

The red streaks fly across the street, rebound of the
footpath, rebound off the opposite building and fly
straight back at Gary's window.



INT. GARY'S APARTMENT - DAY

The first arrow hits Gary who falls to the floor glowing
red.

The second arrow misses and rebounds comically off
everything in the apartment.

PING PING PING PING PING PING PING

The arrow shoots around madly before dashing out of Gary's
front door mail slot.



INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - DAY

And hits

A LADY IN RED.



INT. GARY'S APARTMENT - DAY

A soft knock is heard at the door. Gary rises from the
floor and opens it.

A seductive lady in a short cut red dress stands at the
door. Her name is VERA.

Gary is dumbstruck by her beauty. He finally works up the
nerve.

GARY
Hi.

VERA
Hi.

Gary offers a hand.

GARY
I'm Gary.

Vera shakes his hand.

VERA
Vera.

GARY
Do you wanna get something to
eat?

VERA
Sure.

Gary closes the door behind him as Vera and Gary walk off
down the hallway hand in hand.

An unusual pair. Gary with wings and only in his boxers
with a beautiful blonde lady.

A RED DEVIL'S TAIL

slips out under Vera's dress and sways back and forth as
she walks.

A very unusual pair.

The End