View Full Version : Write your own KILL BILL fight scene...
E J Pennypacker
10-21-2003, 08:28 AM
Okay. The winner gets a punch in the face by, er, Urma. But the point is to write a martial arts scene and then have everyone say there is too much black.
Well, who's up for it... Punk.
EJ
dpaterso
10-23-2003, 02:29 PM
I have this uncomfortable "Been there, done that, got my ass shot off" feeling... pub130.ezboard.com/fdoned...=922.topic (http://pub130.ezboard.com/fdonedealfrm32.showMessage?topicID=922.topic)
-Derek
JohnathanPermelia
10-25-2003, 11:33 AM
are you there
pheaktional
10-28-2003, 03:30 PM
Introducing Chou
__________________________________________________ _
CLANG! Two swords lock into an X.
CHOU
You're about to get cut into
pieces like a fried chicken.
Chou spins - her sword swish through the air missing the
Bride's face by a quarter of an inch.
Now the Bride moves forward and unleashes her furious
attack on Chou who keeps fending off her violent strikes
while stepping backwards.
Chou moves out of the blade's way, her sword glints and...
CU BLADE SLICING SKIN
The Bride recoils. Blood gushes out of the wound soaking
her top. The two fighting women stiffen.
CHOU
You are bleeding.
BRIDE
That's normal. If you're cut
you bleed. It just pushes me
more to reach my goal.
That is... to kill you.
CHOU
Come. Have a stab.
The Bride does so. The blades clash.
__________________________________________________ _
Is it my lucky day, huh, EJ?
Now you. Impress me.
E J Pennypacker
10-31-2003, 01:03 PM
EXT. TOKYO STREET – NIGHT
Slight rain. Neon hangs above from everywhere. A pretty JAPANESE WOMAN makes her way through the heavy nighttime crowd. She walks with purpose.
THE BRIDE watches the woman with contempt and intrigue. She stands under a neon sign that reads: ELVIS LIVES HERE!
                                THE BRIDE (V.O.)
                She doesn’t look much, does she?
                And to tell the truth, she didn’t
                do that much to me... But the one
                thing that brings me to watching
                her from across a street in Tokyo
is the one mistake she made... And
what was that I hear you ask?
               
The Japanese Woman heads into a LAUNDROMAT STORE out of view. The Bride narrows her piercing eyes at the store window.
                                THE BRIDE (V.O.)
                To fcuk with me and on my wedding day.
FLASH!
INT. THE LITTLE CHAPEL – DAY – FLASHBACK
The Bride is being beaten, stomped on, and stabbed by “The Gang Of Four Viper Assassins”. The Bride takes one bloody hit after another. And in between strikes, she glances over at the main door. The only door out of here. And standing there dressed in all black, acting as a watch out, is the JAPANESE WOMAN.
The Bride takes a blow to the face and her eyes roll back into her head.
                                THE BRIDE (V.O.)
                That was her mistake... Her final mistake.
CUT TO BLACK.
TITLE CARD:
CHAPTER FOUR
The Nuisance Of Ninjas
BACK TO PRESENT:
INT. LAUNDROMAT STORE – NIGHT
The Bride motions into the dark but busy store filled with the cities finest washing their pants. She looks around, but cannot find the Japanese Woman.
                                THE BRIDE (V.O.)
                You’re probably thinking “How did she
                track down this next Japanese cannon fodder”.
                Well, after I dispatched O-Ren Ishii, I took
the time to go through a few of her
personables, and disco, I found what I was
looking for.
The Bride pushes through the crowd and makes her way towards the back of the long store, and then something catches her eye. A sign that reads STAFF ONLY and the door beneath if CLICKING SHUT.
The Bride makes it up to the door, and opening it up, she motions inside and down some steps. REVERSE from across the wall, a SECURITY CAMERA films the staff door. The Bride unaware.
DOWN THE STAIRS
The Bride moves.
                                THE BRIDE (V.O.)
                The thing with Ninja’s is they are
                a sneaky bunch. They live by no code
other than to win at all cost. I
personally would not advise you to
trust one as far as your limbs could
project one. Oh, and another thing.
Never, ever, play them at Black Jack.
And stepping onto the final bottom step, she glances around inside
A DIRTY APARTMENT
Dirty in location. But not in style. A tasteful bookcase lines the wall filled with books from all around the world. A fine leather sofa. A 1940’s style stereo playing softly the “Macarena”. A shower running in the b.g.
The Bride glances at something that makes her stop in her tracks. A WEDDING DRESS, hanging on a tailor's dummy. The Bride takes it in. It looks beautiful. She allows herself a smile.
                                THE BRIDE
                Revenge is mine. Bitch.
The Bride suddenly swishes her head towards a TV MONITOR showing the view of the “staff door” in the store. WHIZ! A four point shuriken star IMBEDS into The Brides chest. She glances down to it. Bitter.
                                THE BRIDE (V.O.)
                I said sneaky right? Well, how’s that for sneaky.
The Japanese Woman steps out from behind a wall emotionless, towel around her slender form obviously ready for a shower.
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                They said you died. Then come back to life.
                                THE BRIDE
                They said right.
                        (pulls out shuriken and pocketing it)
How long do I have?
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                You have two minutes.
                                THE BRIDE
                Then I had better get a move on.
Japanese Woman pulls out a ninja-to and The Bride pulls out her katana. Both face off. Both hesitant.
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                What are you waiting for? To die?
The Bride attacks, with Japanese parrying. Then both stand off again.
                                JAPANSES WOMAN
                First should be the aching muscles. Then
                the fever. Do you have that yet?
                                THE BRIDE
                No.
The Bride attacks again, this time liberating a corner off the Japanese Woman’s shower towel. She steps back and recomposes.
                                JAPANSES WOMAN
                Close.
                                THE BRIDE
                But no cigar.
The Bride brings it on again. Japanese plays safe and parries, and when close enough, kicks The Bride back into the books case.
The Bride is showered in books. She shrugs them off. Sweats a little.
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                You can hide your lies, but not your
                sweat.
                                THE BRIDE
                Okay, I admit, it’s getting a little hot here.
                                JAPANSE WOMAN
                Good.
The Bride kicks a book at the Woman, who parries it, and taking advantage of the distraction, unsheathes the shuriken, and throws it at her and – THUNK!
The Japanese Woman looks down at the four point star protruding out of her chest.
                                THE BRIDE
                Snap.
The Japanese Woman snaps it out of her body and throws it to one side.
                                THE BRIDE
                Now seeing as you are a Ninja of sorts. I’m
                trusting you played it safe and coated all
four points of that thing. Now unless the
same point hit me which hit you, I’d say
we are both in the same boat, right?
                JAPANESE WOMAN
I have more time than you.
                THE BRIDE
I’ve got all the time in the world.
The Bride brings on another attack. SLASH – PARRY – DODGE – CUT
The Bridge unarms the Japanese Woman with a flick of the wrist. Leg sweeps her, and the Japanese Woman lands with a THUMP on her back. The Bride towers over her, wipes away some sweat. Katana pointing at the Woman’s throat.
                                THE BRIDE
                Now I win. You lose. Where is the antidote?
The Bride swoons a little. But recomposes herself. Katana still at the Woman’s throat. Japanese allows herself a smirk.
                                THE BRIDE
                As you can tell. I don’t have much time. And
if your Casio wall clock is anything to do by,
I should be dead right about... Now. So you
will forgive me if I sound rude and tell you
only once more before I cut off your fcuking
pretty head, just where do you keep the antidote?
                               
Japanese Woman sense she isn’t kidding. The Bride brings back her katana ready to strike down. The Woman maintains a defiant look. The Bride shrugs, and WOOSH -
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                Okay!
- THE BLADE SKIDS TO A STOP just short of her throat.
The Woman blinks.
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                It’s over there. In the brown box.
The Bride looks at the little BROWN BOX next to the sofa. She motions over, flicks it open with her katana, and in there is a LITTLE BLUE BOTTLE. The Bride opens it up while keeping an eye on the Woman. She picks up the bottle and looks it over with woozy eyes. Her face sweats some more. Then she looks down at the vulnerable and sweating Japanese Woman.
                                THE BRIDE
I know you are about to get married. I see the
bridal dress when I come in. I know you want to
live. I know you still want to walk down that
long aisle and give someone, anyone, a big fat
smooch. It gives you more of a reason to live,
doesn’t it? A reasons to get out of bed every
morning and face this crappy world.       
The Japanese Woman doesn’t respond.
                                THE BRIDE
                Well, maybe that’s just me.
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                I need some of that potion too. You only
                need to drink a little.
The Bride flips open the cap and holds the drink to her lips.
                                THE BRIDE
                Bottoms up.
The Bride drinks. GULP – GULP – GULP – HALF LEFT IN THE BOTTLE – GULP – GULP – GULP - ONE QUARTER LEFT IN THE BOTTLE – GULP – GULP – GULP – ITS ALL GONE.
The Bride puts the cap back on and maintains eye contact with the
sweating woman in front of her.
                                THE BRIDE
                I took an oath. An oath to kill everyone
                who killed me. I appreciate the potion,
                but there is no room for pity in my game.
Japanese Woman sweats even more. Grimaces from her aching muscles.
                                JAPANESE WOMAN
                Then bear me the pain of this poison.
The Bride discards the bottle and nods.
                                THE BRIDE
                That, I will grant you.
The Bride readies her katana over her head.
WOOSH!!!
CUT TO BLACK:
pheaktional
11-01-2003, 04:38 PM
impression checked
I would have thrown the empty bottle of antidote on the floor just out of reach
of the japanese woman. The look on her face sure worth the roll.
btw 'Nuisance of the ninjas' had no ulterior implication or had it? ;)
E J Pennypacker
11-02-2003, 08:57 AM
Well in all honesty, my own personal experience with ninja's has been nothing but a nuisance. :lol
EJ
pheaktional
11-02-2003, 05:10 PM
I had that kinda suspicion.
trinidaddy
11-18-2003, 08:04 PM
ext. mexican market - morning
a landscape dotted with canopy's and push carts and tri-colored tents.
it's populace consists of small families, moderately dressed in denim, novelty 80s clothing ( ie body glove) and mesh baseball caps -- so it is with great ease that we spot --
THE BRIDE
a good head taller than most here, and dressed, literally, to kill in a crocodile dundee inspired leather jacket and matching chaps.
BRIDE (VO)
I'd always planned to visit
south of the border -- but
never under these circumstances.
an ADMIRER in all silver capped teeth pats her behind as she passes.
the Bride siezes his hand and twists. her admirer drops to one knee and relents -- while, in perfect spanish, she explains:
BRIDE
It's okay to look. But no touch.
he rattles off what could only be an apology in spanish, for she lets him go. he flexes his hand before disappearing into the crowd.
BRIDE (VO)
Ms. Fatale had been generous
enough to provide the whereabouts
of an old associate --
the bride approaches a crudely fashioned stand where a sombrero-ed female VENDOR mans the counter.
BRIDE (VO)
-- and that old associate was none
other than --
BRIDE
Budd.
VENDOR
Si?
then the vendor gives pause, gives the bride a cool once over and proclaims;
VENDOR
oooh. he said you would come.
the vendor takes another long, scrutinizing look at the bride. almost too long.
the bride narrows her gaze as well, and unzips her jacket to reveal:
the butt of her hatori hanzo blade. it is fastened to her matching crocodile dundee inspired belt.
BRIDE
Wait. Before you do anything rash,
let me first say this.
VENDOR
Please.
BRIDE
This is between your employer and
myself. i don't know what loyalties you
have with budd and to be perfectly
honest, i don't care.
(beat)
I'm going to kill him today. whether you
die before him or not is on you.
the vendor goes stiff upon hearing the word: die.
VENDOR
I...I was just going to say...good
luck.
BRIDE
thank you.
VENDOR
take that line, there...
the vendor points to a dilapidated autobus.
VENDOR
...route ocho. get off at the last stop
tapulchapek. the ruins. he'll be waiting.
the bride nods, and boards the bus. takes her seat towards the rear.
*okay, not that i'm pulling some some volume one or volume two sh*t, but i have to post the rest tomorrow. leaving work.
trinidaddy
11-20-2003, 07:52 PM
int. autobus ( the eight) -- afternoon
the bride boards and drops her fare into the bucket with a clink. the all too-american looking DRIVER flashes his smile and inquires ( in spanish, of course) :
DRIVER
...where to?
BRIDE
To the bitter end, my friend.
the driver hikes his thumb over his shoulder.
DRIVER
Get comfortable.
the bride finds real estate in the rear of the bus, amidst the
stoic expressions of the other passengers.
INSERT: REAR VIEW MIRROR
the shifty, aqua blue eyes of the driver continue to find her.
she shuts each eye -- the left first, and then the right -- and
channels her energy inward.
BRIDE (VO)
It was while I rode the bus
to what could conceivably
be my death that I got to thinking.
cut to:
int. bathroom (black and white) -- afternoon
the bride is dressed just as that -- in a stunning, white
floral wedding gown.
she beams into the mirror.
BRIDE (VO)
I sought out to end of the lives
of those who tried to end mine.
the bride blots her lipstick, checks her make up and then
pulls a 9mm silver handgun from her garter belt.
the bride stares at the piece, deciding whether to leave this
part of herself behind for good.
BRIDE (VO)
The irony of it all was not lost
on me.
she has decided: she removes the clip and tosses the
weapon into the garbage.
the bride gathers her bouquet and readies for her big day.
cut back:
a CHILD sitting beside the bride while in her mother's arms
catches sight of her blade.
BRIDE (VO)
the quesion was simple. the answer,
less so...
the curious child reaches out and runs her little fingers
over the dragon on the blade's handle.
BRIDE (VO)
Is retribution so important that
I would risk losing the life we all
know I'm so lucky to still have?
the bride snaps her eyes open, seizes the child's hand.
the child's MOTHER scolds her little one and apologizes to
the bride in shaky english.
MOTHER
...bery sorry.
the bride isn't concerned. she smiles at the young girl and
the girl smiles right back.
BRIDE (VO)
The answer to that question
is a resounding...@#%$ yes.
the bride feels the shifty gaze of the driver through the rear
view mirror once more.
we hold on her. On the determination and focus in her eyes
and -- through a series of dissolves -- the number of
passengers dwindles down further and further until it is only
the bride that remains.
outside the window, the terrain is looking worse and
worse: it is the middle of the jungle. dense and very
uninviting.
BRIDE
How much more?
DRIVER
Not long, now.
the bride readies herself, fingers dancing along the handle
of her samurai sword when --
-- the bus comes to a grinding HALT. it throws the bride out
of her seat. It sends her blade skittering down the bus
aisle -- now a good ten feet out of reach.
the driver slips a tape into the am/fm radio and wiggles his
fingers into a pair of black leather gloves.
he faces the bride, cranks the volume on the radio. Michael
Jackson's 'BEAT IT' pumps through the shitty speakers.
DRIVER
Black. Mamba.
the bride crawls to the sword, but the driver has already
beaten her there -- his size fourteen foot soundly trapping
it to the floor.
DRIVER
...everyone has their sob story,
and this is mine.
the driver knees the bride in the face. knocks her flat on
her back.
DRIVER
Five. No more and no less -- that is the
number of D.I.V.A.S. Bill chose to operate
with.
he stomps for her neck, but the bride is savy, countering
each attempt with a block before slipping a foot into his
groin and flipping herself upright.
DRIVER
I busted my white ass. I scored better
than half you chumps and beat that
half-wit Budd within an inch of his life, but
alas --
he unloads a series of jabs and uppercuts on the bride with
the speed and precision of a boxer.
DRIVER
-- no dice. I just didn't make the team.
the bride blocks eah attempt with ease. the driver
finally unsheaths the blade -- levels the point at the bride.
DRIVER
Until Bill stepped in with an offer
I couldn't refuse.
the driver jabs the blade UP, AT and OVER the bride. He hits
nothing but air.
DRIVER
If kill the one and only Black Mamba...
with a flick of the blade, his slices a bloody cleft into the
bottom of her chin.
DRIVER
...I finally make the cut.
the driver lunges back with the sword and prepares for his
attack.
BRIDE
Great. Tryouts.
the driver advances, screaming wildly as Michael hits the
chorus.
the bride skips along the wall and punches open the
emergency exit hatch on the bus' roof. she climbs out as --
-- the hattori hanzo BLADE pokes through the roof, within
inches of her hand.
the blade retracts, the bride rethinks her next step just as
the sword SLICES up through her left Asic's sneaker.
the bride screams -- blood pumps out from her foot, the
blade retracts and she rolls off the roof -- hits the ground,
hard.
the driver steps off the bus. the bride tries to stand, gain
her balance.
DRIVER
I even got a codename all picked out...
he gut punches her, then head butts the beaten woman
and sends her off of her feet.
DRIVER
I was thinking...Mongoose.
the bride spits blood, wipes her chin.
BRIDE
...so, the whole snake theme
theme musta been lost on you.
DRIVER
No, it's cute. I get it. but see...it's
the mongoose that always got the
better of...the snake.
**if someone wants to pick up from here, be my guest.
otherwise will write the rest tomorrow. hafta leave
work.
E J Pennypacker
11-25-2003, 10:11 AM
hey daddy --
I liked it. Loved the bit where The Bride gets a sword in her foot. Very personal injury there. Had my toes curled. When you gonna post more?
EJ
trinidaddy
11-25-2003, 06:23 PM
i'll try to finish her up this weekend. I prefer to write at work -- at home is where MY projects take precedent -- but this week has been a bit hairy.
i'm digging this excercise page, though. it's a nice break from working on whatever projects people have cooking -- keeps you sharp.
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