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Qazworld
12-16-2006, 10:50 AM
let's put the votes here.

thank you

Boobsie Malone
12-16-2006, 10:59 AM
Sorry Qaz!

My votes are:

3pts to ihavebiglips
2pts to marktwainweck
Tie: 1pt to frankts1 (for great concept) 1pt to IndieMe (for well-writtenedness)

I read most of these yesterday and then digested. These are notes on the entries that stayed in my mind. But, wow, everyone did a great job!

Mark Twain Weck: Sh*tty Santa

I love the flashback of Santa having to go through security. Really awesome. I like the idea of Santa being in the toy plane. But, it kind of comes out of nowhere.

Ihavebiglips: BELIEVING IS BELIEVING

I love this story. I thought about it long after I read it. It’s very relatable. And written extremely well (a few too many Shane Black-isms – though). The only thing I found lacking in this story was maybe seeing Ronald do something bad. I’m not sure I’m right on this one. I guess if I were hired to do the rewrite: I’d show Ronald doing something “naughty” and therefore not getting the bike. Then, years later, I’d show him deserving the bike, and him pouring bleach in the G&T. And, I’d have Santa turn up with the bike, and drink the G&T. I could totally be wrong about this. But something felt a bit off about the ending. That said, this is written very very well, imo. The characters are great. It’s possibly my favorite piece.

Fortean:

This is a really great concept. But, something in it was lacking. I just don’t know if I buy Lynn going insane after Santa burns up. However, that said, this is a really really great concept!

Frankts1: Rock On Ebeneezer

Okay, I loved the first half of this entry. Bob Marley was a stroke of genius. Chuck Berry, however… I found him lacking. I would have loved to have seen someone else, I think. Sid Vicious, or something. I love the fact that this poor kid’s name is Scrooge. I think this is a really great concept. As in, I think I’d love to see this filmed!

Ylekot43: Stranger than pulp fiction

I don’t know man. I guess if you’re going to copy and paste, and only change a word here or there… you should make sure you take references to “Jules” out. The concept itself was fun. But, I’d like to have seen you push it further.

Csparks:

Another great novelty entry. But, the story was lacking and incoherent. I think you could have pushed yourself here and ended up using this entry as a sample!

Sc111: Santa Baby

If the side-contest hadn’t been this idea, I think I would have liked this idea a lot better. It’s really something that’s outside the norm in Christmas stories. But, as it was part of the side-contest, it just felt a little too on the nose. I understand that that doesn’t seem fair, but the thing that is great about Dubya’s entry is that we don’t see the sex with Santa. An entirely different idea came about from the germ of an idea. I guess, once it became a challenge for multiple people I’d like to have seen you reach a bit outside the concept. That said, it’s very nicely written!

Clueless: Unstable

Great title. Some great moments here. Loved that you went for comedy! Some of the best moments are moments only the reader would get to enjoy, such as “an old hag, Hagus The Oldus…” Would have liked to have seen some more of these moments for the viewer!

Dubya:

Slightly trite and treacle. But, that’s what Christmas stories are all about. Felt a little Lifetime Movie of the Week, though. However, major props for having the sex with Santa off-screen and delving into a different story. You probably assumed I would hate this, no matter what. But, I don’t. Hate it, that is. I expected a little better from the self-proclaimed “Best Writer Ever,” though. More props for even entering.

KWVillen

Some great comedic moments. Would love to have seen it if you’d had more time to devote!

IndieMe: Santa’s Gift For Joey

This is a great entry. It’s a little sad, a little freaky (the guy reaching down his pants), and a little awesome, giving Joey the medal for bravery! I really liked this story and concept a lot. And, it’s a story well told!

Sara:

Your entry was really, like extremely well-written. But, I didn’t get the ending? Why did Holly shoot him? Because the target had a daughter? I just got a little confused. But, again, the writing is incredibly strong!

The rest of the notes:

J Off Course

What I love about this is how topical it is. It seems like it’s going to be Brangelina picking up one of their orphans, but it’s not! Great entry!

Dpaterson

What an incredible concept – toy inspector goes to North Pole! This could totally be a great holiday feature! I’m confused though – this is part two of how many? I’d like to have seen this as a self-contained short.

Harbinger:

The two parts seem very disjointed to me. Though I really respond well to your theme of revenge, I am having a really hard time linking the first part and the second together. I guess, if pressed, I’d say I liked the second half better! Both, however, were very well-written and evocative!

OzFade:

This is a really beautifully written short. Though I’d prefer to see some story, I love the magic of it all. I think if you were to come up with a story, set in this house, with all the beauty and wonder… it would have taken first, for me – I love me some magical realism!

Yeehi

This isn’t my type of story, I don’t feel qualified to say anything about it! I enjoyed reading it, though!

Haunted1:

This is an interesting concept. I like the idea of the ghost of someone he killed killing him in the same way – did I read this right? Anyway, I love justice themes! But, it got a little convoluted somewhere along the way. As in, I’m interpreting it as X story, but I’m not positive it actually was X story. A quick “clarity pass” should solve any problems. Perhaps the addition of a scene where he’s pronounced: “Not Guilty?” Toward the beginning? I don’t know. I’m just a little confused.

Jcorona

I’m not in love with this entry. Felt rushed to me. Lines like “the finest prostitute, in prostitute clothes…” what are prostitute clothes? And, wasn’t she just having sex? Wouldn’t she be naked? Or, she’s dressed because she was leaving? I don’t know. I love the idea of Damien living large (this IS Damien from The Omen, right?), but something was lacking here for me. I think the novelty of Damien wears off pretty quickly, and at that point, we need a plot to keep us on track! And, this seems to be common more to me than anyone else, but I didn’t get the ending? All of this said, you have a real ear for dialogue. Very smooth and organic!

Bed-and-bones:

The sluglines make it kind of confusing. Flashbacks are great and all, but give us an indication of where we are in time. Especially since this is a story about a clocksmith. Actually, I was confused all the way through. Why did he kill his grandfather? Who were the man and woman screaming? Why was he putting presents in the fireplace? I think there’s a lot more to this story, than two (or so) pages allow. I’d love to see you flesh this out into five pages and really go for it!

Jcorona
12-16-2006, 11:59 AM
I got it narrowed down to 21. I'll be back.

Corona

Jcorona
12-16-2006, 12:00 PM
Okay, I'm back.

1 - IndieMe - SANTA'S GIFT TO JOEY (3pts)

2 - ihavebiglips - BELIEVING IS BELIEVING (2pts)

3 - Mark Twain Weck - SH*TTY SANTA (1pt)

Honorable mention: sc111 - SANTA BABY

Thanks for the early Christmas presents everyone.

Feliz Navidad,

Corona :)

Bellabell
12-16-2006, 12:01 PM
can anyone vote or just those who posted?

sc111
12-16-2006, 12:17 PM
Bella -

Anyone can vote. However I'm having a hard time narrowing down my first choice. Hmmm. Good stuff this year!

yeehi
12-16-2006, 12:29 PM
BestWriterEver 3 points
IndieMe 2 points
sc111 1 point

PS
I am recasting my vote, if I may. BestWriterEver's is the best, for me. I earlier gave my number one slot to IndieMe. Sorry, IndieMe! It is still a lovely story you wrote :)

Boobsie Malone
12-16-2006, 01:38 PM
Were we not supposed to give comments?

sarajb
12-16-2006, 01:56 PM
However I'm having a hard time narrowing down my first choice. Hmmm. Good stuff this year!
I know what you mean! I still don't know. I think I'll read them all, again.
Were we not supposed to give comments?
I love that you took the time, Boobsie. Iím going to try and do the same with some of the entries I really enjoyed.
Sara:

Your entry was really, like extremely well-written. But, I didnít get the ending? Why did Holly shoot him? Because the target had a daughter? I just got a little confused. But, again, the writing is incredibly strong!
Thanks so much. I was sort of banking on the brief clue that she was a mother and that, of course, shooting Kevin was not at all what she had in mind and felt horrified/responsible over what she thought Joel was about to do. Plus, the girl was in danger.

Telling a story in 5 pages is hard for me. I think I usually cram more than will reasonably fit. Originally, that part was a bit longer and better explained. At least I think it was. It's hard to know, sometimes, if it's really clear or if it's only clear to me.

K, thanks for a FAB contest. I'll be back to vote!

sarajb
12-16-2006, 02:48 PM
Ohhh, Boobsie. I just realized something very important that I cut from the end. Basement windows. Some architect. :|

Qazworld
12-16-2006, 05:47 PM
Were we not supposed to give comments?

i love reading the comments.

sc111
12-16-2006, 05:48 PM
1st choice:

IndieMe SANTA'S GIFT (it had a lot of heart & well written, I could not tell English is not your first language)

2nd choice:

Frankst1 ROCK ON (loved Bob Marley, loved the musician named Scrooge - if you could expand it beyond 5 pages and do all the ghosts of Xmas past/present/future it would be really good. But I understand there was a page limit).

3rd Choice:

OzFade NIGHT BEFORE (no dialogue - all visuals, nice)

Kwvillen
12-16-2006, 07:47 PM
I read every single one of them and it was truly hard to pick this year. Very very competitive.

With that said, my picks:

1st - clueless - Absolutely Hilarious - 3 Points.

2nd - Boobsie - Touching - well-rounded characters. That's Christmas. [Was very hard to choose between yours, IndieMe and clueless, but...] - 1 Point. IndieMe. Same thing. 1 Point.

3rd - sc111 - Very funny stuff - 1/2 Point. ihavebiglips 1/2 Point. Kooky Christmas.

I usually comment on the other shorts, but with 22 Entries this yr., forgettaboutit: :D

Excellent stuff from all of you, and there were a few that I had a VERY hard time choosing for the top picks.

KWV

ylekot43
12-16-2006, 08:37 PM
Indieme - three points -- i'm still deciding on second and third

Bellabell
12-16-2006, 09:03 PM
IndieMe 3 points -- You draw your reader immediately into a different world. Your details, like the rancid milk, speak volumes about your character's upbringing.

BWE 2 points -- Simple and non cluttered. Evokes a powerful emotion. Shows you don't need bells and whistles to tell a good story.

sc111 1 point -- Entertaining with great dialogue. You've always been good at creating unique woman characters.

OzFade
12-17-2006, 01:43 AM
1st place: Boobsie Malone UNTITLED
2nd place: sc111 SANTA BABY
3rd place: Ihavebiglips BELIEVING IS BELIEVING

Boobsie Malone
12-17-2006, 05:43 AM
Awww. Thanks, Oz!

Sara, what'd you leave out?

sarajb
12-17-2006, 09:02 AM
I wrote the last page as the deadline was approaching, which was actually two pages that needed some frantic chopping.

Now, I wonder if it was understood that they were watching Kevin through the basement windows and that Joel looked as though he was going to shoot Kevin at that moment and as Kevin's little girl was running to him.

?

Priya
12-18-2006, 01:08 AM
Sara,

I've reread the ending a couple of times now to try to understand why I was confused. And, I think what's missing for me is not the basement window, but the motivation that she'd shoot him. I love the reveal that his wasn't a real gun, but to get there, I think you'd need to delve deeper into her. Maybe cutting some stuff at the beginning, to make room for a reason why she'd react that way?

I'm just thinking logistics here: If I'm standing next to a guy who's about to shoot another guy and I don't want that guy to shoot the other guy (for whatever reason) I'm not going to take the time to pull out a gun and shoot. I'm gonna tackle the guy.

Or, maybe it's as easily orchestrated as: you have Joel getting a bead on the guy, Holly tells him to drop the gun. He turns to face her, and she's got her own gun on him. Maybe a flock of doves fly as one in the air (because suddenly this is a John Woo short). Joel's finger strokes the trigger. Holly's trying valiantly to keep her hand from shaking. Joel smirks and pulls the trigger. Holly's self-preservation kicks in and she shoots Joel in the heart. He falls to the ground. Blood pooling into the snow. She's still standing. Wait. She's still standing? She doesn't appear to have a scratch on her! She's as confused as we are.

Then she sees it. Joel's "gun." PEACE ON EARTH.

Uh. Maybe.

sarajb
12-18-2006, 08:42 AM
I was hoping since she was 90 lbs it would be understandable that she couldnít just tackle him. She does try. But, I see what youíre saying. In the heat of this moment, I didnít set up her reaction to be believable enough.

In any case, youíre right. I cut too much from the most important part. I ran out of time. :\

Nice touch on the ending, btw. :) Priya. :D (do you feel liberated?)

Priya
12-18-2006, 04:25 PM
Hey! I feel... nothing. Which was the point :)

I hope you don't misconstrue any of this -- it was a very well-written short! As you say, with time it would have been perfect!

Tony R
12-18-2006, 04:36 PM
I feel like such a tool for sending you that PM, Priya. :rolling:

bed-and-bones
12-18-2006, 08:20 PM
3pts - sc11

2pts - OzFade

1 pt - BestWriterEver

OzFade
12-18-2006, 08:40 PM
Come on guys put your votes in...when does the voting round end btw?

Qazworld
12-18-2006, 08:53 PM
Voting ends xmas eve.

we still have time.

IndieMe
12-18-2006, 08:56 PM
I will!

Just haven't read all of them yet. :)

Would the writers like comments on their scripts or do we just vote?

I'm new here.

OzFade
12-18-2006, 09:00 PM
I'm going to write up some comments...as to why or why not I didn't like the short etc etc. Nothing big just a couple lines.

But comments are not obligitory.

Priya
12-19-2006, 02:12 AM
Tony,

Don't! Good looking out!

I'll be the first person to PM you should anyone ever register as Tony... uh.

:)

sarajb
12-19-2006, 09:42 AM
...with time it would have been perfect!Well, let's not get nutty.

I really am rereading all of these, btw (all 21 of them), and should have my votes/comments in the next couple of days. Loved reading them all.

J off course
12-19-2006, 04:25 PM
Hard to vote. All the entries were entertaining. Those that were
meant to make me laugh made me laugh and those that were
thoughtful made me think. :rolleyes:

First of all, I just have to see Clueless's name and there's a big
smile on my face and as usual he got me laughing so hard..but...

my votes go to

3pts- KWVILLEN. Since this is the Christmas/HANNUKAH contest,
I could swear I heard a jewish comedian reading his entry as I
read it. Really made me laugh.

2pts- SCIII- She has a knack for creating characters that if I
was an actor, I would jump at playing. This is no exception.

1pt-BESTWRITEREVER- Gave me a James Brooks vibe. I can picture
Bestwriterever having a beard.

:afro: Stand on your head and this is him.

Good stuff everyone!

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 05:19 PM
OKAY PEEPS

PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER 1 TIME. PLEASE ALL BEGIN SHARPENING YOUR DAGGERS AND POINT THEM MY WAY.

I thought about this for a while. Considered and reconsidered. I've read a fair few scripts and I have a vague idea, when reading work on DD, how it would transfer in page count.

The contest rules stipulate....

Five page maximum.

[Any entrants submitting a short with more than 5 pages will be automatically disqualified].

Now I thought about saying something for ages and after a while I figure screw it. Rules are rules.

Let me preface all this by saying, I'm not a great fan of my entry. As Boobsie says it feels disjointed. I also think it finishes a little ubruptly and feels rushed at the end there. This is because editing it down was difficult. I killed a few babies here and there and in the end it felt disjointed.... but those were the rules.

So my entry, like I'm sure a lot of people who stuck to the rule, suffered because of the page number constraints.

I'm trying to justify the next paragraphs you'll read, because I feel guilty for doing it (especially as a few of them were very good), but it's not fair on those who adhered to the rules to allow someone that didn't, to win. I know it's only a mess about contest, but rules are rules and fair is fair. Bear in mind the page counts bellow are used with Final Draft, with most spacing reduced to the lowest amount permitable.

EDIT I hearby DISQUALIFY, From my vote, as per the rules.

INDIEME - This is the one I feel most guilty about. First all cause it's very good. Secondly because English is not your first language and you probably easily could have cut it down.

5 and a quarter (about 14 lines over) pages.

BESTEVERWRITER - I know you were doing well so another one I feel guilty for.

5 and a quarter pages (12 lines over)

FORTEAN - Good entry. Sorry.

5 and a half pages (more than 20 lines over)


There were a few that went over by about 2 lines, but I made allowances for them. Maybe the formatting was slightly different. Anything over ten lines can't be attributed to format changes.

I realise this makes me public enemy number one in the eyes of those above, but sometimes rules aren't made to be broken.

I give my Points to...

3 pts - IloveBigLips - as per normal excellent writing. The irony that the mother didn't get him the bike and for that will share the fate meant for Santa was a great touch.

2 pts - Boobsie - Great writing. The part where The kid lets himself in and still admits there's no Santa even though he didn't have to very nearly got you the win, But, if you look at my entry, I have a soft spot for dark comedy/dark quirky drama evident more in Lips entry.

1 pt - SC11 - soft core santa porn....only, well written santa porn. great dialogue.

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 05:28 PM
Harbinger,

I just cut and pasted Fortean's Entry within MM, and it is below the 5 Page Count. It stands to reason that the other entries are also.

KWV

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 05:35 PM
Well In Final Draft, adhering to the format rules stipulated by the Nichols website and that famous script-based information on margins

12 point Courier

Action
Left 1.5 inches
Right 1 inch

Dialogue
Just over three inches per line.

They all go over. I've never used Movie Magic but something strange is going on there.

But end of the day, you're the moderator of the contest. I'll just disqualify them from my points.

And I'll leave that post there. It's up to the other voters what they make of it.

EDIT- I just checked and double checked and they're all still over. It seemsto me like Movie Magic are pulling a fast one. Their margins sound wayyy off. Sounds to me like a certain software company is trying to keep writers happy with dodgy formatting.

I'll stick to good old fashioned Industry Standard Final Draft :)

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 05:54 PM
Harbinger,

If there is a discrepancy between soft wares than it shouldn't affect the outcome of the votes. It wouldn't make sense to penalize someone who, for all intents and purposes, followed the five page maximum guideline and are within the limits with MM Software and a few lines over with FD.

That's just ridiculous, IMHO.

KWV

IndieMe
12-19-2006, 05:55 PM
These are the entries I hearby DISQUALIFY as per the rules.

INDIEME - This is the one I feel most guilty about. First all cause it's very good. Secondly because English is not your first language and you probably easily could have cut it down.

5 and a quarter (about 14 lines over) pages.

:) Well, the fact that you said it was very good, is good enough for me.

I'm new here and I just learned about the contest last wednesday. I basically wrote it in one sitting, a second one to look for errors. Then I spent hours trying to get it posted here. :D

If anyone ever gives me feedback, just know that I ALWAYS take advice and suggestions seriously.

I will post my votes this weekend.

Thanks for reading! ;)

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 05:57 PM
None of the entrants are disqualified, because they are within the 5 Page Maximum Limit, according to MM.
That's good enough for me.

Carry on,

KWV

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 05:57 PM
Oh I just want to add, I feel for the people that entered genuinely thinking that their entry was under 5 pages. I appreciate that it wasn't your fault. Bygones and all that. we'll say no more about it, It's Christmas... although I won't be changing my vote.

I'd also seriously suggest purchasing FInal Draft. I can't see any way that MM could interpret what was written as under 5 pages. I will hearby be deleting them from my christmas list. As I said, all I can think is that maybe the margins are all over the place.

Or perhaps it's automatically formatted to particular film makers template.

EDIT - Kev you beat me to it :) ....normal service is resumed.

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 06:06 PM
Okay, Harbinger, but my name's not Kev - earlyman75, BROUGHCUT, J off course, and a few others can vouch for me on that: :)

After today's display, you will only know me as KWV:

:rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

KWV

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 06:07 PM
:) Well, the fact that you said it was very good, is good enough for me.

I'm new here and I just learned about the contest last wednesday. I basically wrote it in one sitting, a second one to look for errors. Then I spent hours trying to get it posted here. :D

If anyone ever gives me feedback, just know that I ALWAYS take advice and suggestions seriously.

I will post my votes this weekend.

Thanks for reading! ;)

Rest assured that, had it not gone over on Final Draft, You'd have been first or second in my book, but I gotta stick to my principles.

But it was very good. A great short that, in no time at all, with strong, visual clues and succinct dialogue, manages to pluck the heart strings. An old Vet giving his war medal to a kid living in an abusive household. Excellent heartfelt stuff.

EDIT: Oh and I edited my above post to now read Disqualify From My Vote. Seems a little fairer.

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 06:08 PM
Okay, Harbinger, but my name's not Kev - earlyman75, BROUGHCUT, J off course, and a few others can vouch for me on that: :)

After today's display, you will only know me as KWV:

:rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

KWV

How strange....no idea where that came from then. Brains getting old.

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 06:11 PM
No problem, Harbinger, but I would just like to reiterate:

None of the entrants are disqualified, because all are within the 5 Page Maximum Limit, according to MM.

KWV

IndieMe
12-19-2006, 07:10 PM
I can disqualify myself by letting you know that I did monkey around with the margins in order to fit it into 5 pages. I just wasn't sure how seriously you guys took the rules. Now I know. :o :)

How often do you guys do this sort of excersise/competition thing anyways? After I had just submitted this one, another competition "the best one ever" was announced, I almost entered Mrs. Clause and the North Pole, but elected not too. Didn't want to offend anyone..

J off course
12-19-2006, 07:11 PM
I would suggest Bestwriterever cut his entry to five pages by making
his bartender "straight".

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 07:15 PM
I would suggest Bestwriterever cut his entry to five pages by making
his bartender "straight".


He he he.......ahem.

Although wouldn't that just lead to her scoring. Then the obligatory bedroom scene. A lot of flapping curtains (oo-er), rocket launch stock footage and trains going into tunnels.

At least another half page of action description

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 07:20 PM
I can disqualify myself by letting you know that I did monkey around with the margins in order to fit it into 5 pages. I just wasn't sure how seriously you guys took the rules. Now I know. :o :)

How often do you guys do this sort of excersise/competition thing anyways? After I had just submitted this one, another competition "the best one ever" was announced, I almost entered Mrs. Clause and the North Pole, but elected not too. Didn't want to offend anyone..

They tend to be based around holidays. So there's always a halloween, christmas and valentines day one. Sometimes the odd theme crops up here and there.

Oh and to the rules, I might not have mentioned anything, but for two reasons. The rules specifically state the maximum length added to the fact that those who adhered closely to them were at a distinct disadvantage. And you can almost tell those who were trying to fit a lot into 5 pages because it feels crammed in.

Anyway doesn't matter. Regardless of the rule infringement, I still really liked your work. Especially with english not being your first language. :)


P.S. and it's pretty hard to offend anyone on here. They're all a liberal lot.

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 07:25 PM
:rolling: J off course. Thanks for the vote, btw.\

:)

It was a tough choice with a lot of competition. It's usually like that when I host a contest. People always trying to impress me. It comes with the territory - a curse: :rolleyes:

:D

P.S. I thought yours was very good, too, IndieMe.



KWV

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 07:30 PM
...Now if we can get Harbinger to stop maiming, disemboweling, slashing and killing people in these feel-good contests, he may win one of these things: :D

KWV

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 07:34 PM
hey I got a Silver medal under my belt! Well sort of. It was a joint win for the Valentines Day contest so technically I was second (even though I was third.... if that makes sense) :p

Although for a feel good happy contest this....

- Five page maximum.

[Any entrants submitting a short with more than 5 pages will be automatically disqualified].

Is pretty strict ruling.

Hey I'm just saying is all.

Kwvillen
12-19-2006, 07:36 PM
Fair enough, Harbinger, but think of the likely-hood of people wanting to read through 10 pages or more from who knows what amount of entries.

I dunno. I'm game for a larger pg. count in the future, for whoever decides to throw the next shebang. Hint. Hint: ;)

KWV

True, about the second place win.

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 07:41 PM
I was gona do a contest about 3 stuffed badgers and a bucket of mayonaise I seem to remember.

Never quite got round to it.

I'm just lazy I guess. I nominate blondewriter for organizing the next one.

Just a random DD'er. Throwing her in at the deep end.

IndieMe
12-19-2006, 07:44 PM
...Now if we can get Harbinger to stop maiming, disemboweling, slashing and killing people in these feel-good contests, he may win one of these things: :D
KWV
That's the kind of scripts he writes? Maybe I should try to read some of his work. Disemboweling is good, cleanses your soul.

Incidently, this was the first script I've ever written where no one dies and no sex! :o :D

15 pages seem to be where i do my best, so i would be game too for a higher page count as well.

Harbinger
12-19-2006, 07:52 PM
That's the kind of scripts he writes? Maybe I should try to read some of his work. Disemboweling is good, cleanses your soul.

Incidently, this was the first script I've ever written where no one dies and no sex! :o :D

KWV's right though. My first Entry for Valentine's Day was a jilted lover getting back at his Ex through a Valentine's Day Massacre motif. My second involved burning things. My Chirstmas one was another revenge type thing.

Perhaps I might play one of these contests straight one of these days and write something warm and heartfelt.

I'll give it a whirl on the next one.

Ohh and if you want to read mine, or anyones work Indie, just click their name go to their profile and select 'View Threads started by'.

Alternatively go to writing exercises forum. (back one from here), change the 'Last month' drop down to 'Last year' and you'll see all the previous contests of the year. Makes good reading.

IndieMe
12-19-2006, 08:31 PM
My first Entry for Valentine's Day was a jilted lover getting back at his Ex through a Valentine's Day Massacre motif.

Interesting!
My entry for another website's Valentines Day excersise (no dialogue allowed) was a serial killer with an obsession for a young woman. It was all done in first person and I used heartbeat and breathing to convey his emotions. It was very brutal and graphic. I got the idea from the Gainesville student murders.

The average response I got was "Holy crap that was cool"!

Most people expect me to write family fair, rom-coms or drama that would make Jimmy Stewart proud because I'm a woman, but I prefer to venture into the dark side myself.

I'll definitely check out some of your scripts. :)

OzFade
12-19-2006, 08:56 PM
I used heartbeat and breathing to convey his emotions.

Sounds cool. Yeah there were a ton of great shorts here. I was surprised by the turnout.

How about we open up for a new years themed contest...but erm maybe the deadline can be a week into the new year for...you know...alcohol related reasons :).

BigFatTire
12-20-2006, 09:59 AM
1st Choice - SC111 - Funny stuff.

2nd Choice - Ihavebiglips

3rd Choice - Boobsie "Priya" Malone

IndieMe
12-20-2006, 06:40 PM
Okay, I read all of them.

Iím not a professional so donít read too deeply into my comments. IMHO, most scripts were pretty well written, some better than others, but there was no bad writing. Some were really well written, but fell short on the story itself. Thatís a shame since many were submitted several days before the deadline.

I found KwVillenís script to be a VERY nice and amusing read, however the story was incomplete, but you said you ran out of time. Shame that, I would have liked to read that one till the end.

3pt Ė Santa Baby I liked this one. Well written, funny and had a story. Reading it, it didnít bother me to picture Santa and his ďbellyĒ grinding away. It was funny. If I watched this on the big screen however, I probably would have averted my eyes at that sight. :D


2pt Ė S****y Santa This one I really enjoyed too. Enjoyed the writing and found it funny as well. I agree with Boobsie Malone though that the end with Santa inside the toy plane came out of nowhere. I like surprises and twists and your ending was fine, just wasnít as good as the rest of the script. :)


1pt Ė Frostbite I liked this one because I like a little darker stories. And I did find a story here. It was a little confusing at first, but got more clear as it went on. I think this story about revenge would have worked even better if a certain other protruding body part would have been lost due to frostbite as well. Then I wouldíve totally understood his motive for revenge. :)


I enjoyed this little contest thing and look forward to more of them in the future. Iíll be sure to stick to the maximum page count then. ;)

Mark Somers
12-21-2006, 02:37 AM
Hey Joffcourse thanks for the "Welcome back" a little while ago. And thanks for the vote of laughter. :)

theblondewritr, you're one of my favorite writers too.


KW thanks for the votes. And the vote of laughter. :rolling:



Boobsie thanks for the comments. And the vote of ... of funny moments. :)



Oh yea and thanks Harbinger for the vote of fun read. I do have a question though. Do you read to the heads you keep in your refrigerator?


I like Bob Marley, Mon.


Too much good stuff this year.

Everyone have a good year.

Kwvillen
12-21-2006, 12:52 PM
We only have a few more days left for voting.

Where are those votes, eh?????

:)

KWV

Mark Twain Weck
12-21-2006, 10:34 PM
Sorry. I got no time to read all the entries and vote.:(

My computer is in the box and in storage and I'm working in a remote location where people look at me kinda funny when I say "Internet".

Gotta go. Maybe I'll be back in a couple of months.

Cyas and good luck all.

Mark:love:

Kwvillen
12-23-2006, 12:11 PM
Okay, one more day to place your votes. I'm hoping, at least, the paricipants will vote. Come on guys...

:)

KWV

Fortean
12-24-2006, 03:44 AM
My votes will be late for the Xmas Eve deadline, as I've not had the opportunity to read all of the entries, (including those that Harbinger seems to think should be disqualified), to note whose stuff is naughty and/or nice. Sorry, folks, but I'd think working Xmas Eve to allow a workmate to visit with his family on the holidays is a bit more important, (besides, this rule against voting for yourself suggests careful consideration should be made based upon merit, if a suitable bribe hasn't been received).

Using MM, my entry was five pages in length, (and probably needed another two pages for a really good polish). I do have FD5 and never bothered to upgrade, (owing to the bugs in FD7). Last year, I was able to trace Lynn's whereabouts to Vermont, where she is married, has two teenage sons, and has pursued a career in community nursing. As for Randy, I've not heard about him since he went to Fort Dix during the Vietnam War. The Xmas incident in my short screenplay was entirely fictional but was largely based upon these two characters, (as well as a nearby sanatorium, where Randy had once worked as an orderly).

Later.

Well, my workmate's shift ended earlier than expected, so I've had enough time to finish reading all of the entries and decide on my votes, in time for the deadline. And, (since I've not been offered any bribes), here's my votes, (by my own preferences):

3 points to IndieMe's "Santa's Gift To Joey"

2 points to Boobsie Malone's Untitled Screenplay
(Here's why this story wouldn't work in a Canadian setting.) (http://www.canadapost.ca/personal/dec/santa/writesanta/santa-e.asp)

1 point to Yeehi's "Christmas Time"