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ihavebiglips
05-01-2007, 11:51 AM
The April death toll of American servicemen and women in Iraq surpassed one hundred. As we move into May and near Memorial Day, I move that we have a contest to honor the troops.

Nothing specific, just something with a military theme. Anything goes, from a study on human nature using kids playing army, to an actual war piece, to a character study exploring the aftermath of war.

Anything goes.

Also, DD being a global community, this is not intended to focus on the American military but the soldier him/herself. If you want to use a set piece similar to that cool little opening Mac H had using the virus outbreak in WWI, feel free. If you wanna write about a Nazi struggling with the genocidal task at hand, feel free. If you want to write about Japanese WWII hero 2nd Lt. Hiroo Onada finally surrendering to his old commander in 1974 on Lubang Island in the Phillipines, feel free.

If you wanna write about Beetle Bailey or Klinger, feel free.

What do you guys think? I missed the last contest due to the fact I was moving back to the US from my post in the South Atlantic, but I caught the gist of it. If any of you more experienced contest runners wanna lend a hand, feel free.

I'll even match Adam's gift of booze from the last one.

Any takers?

J off course
05-01-2007, 01:06 PM
Could I enter a musical set during the Boer War* or
is that too much of a bore?

Big?


*always heard that war mentioned on Jeopardy but
hell if I know what they were fighting about.

I'm in.

Signal30
05-01-2007, 01:10 PM
I'll give it a shot...I need to work more in the shorts headspace.

How many pages?

JonnyAtlas
05-01-2007, 01:22 PM
I'd take part. It would be new territory for me.

Adam Isaac
05-01-2007, 01:51 PM
Could I enter a musical set during the Boer War* or
is that too much of a bore?

Big?


*always heard that war mentioned on Jeopardy but
hell if I know what they were fighting about.

I'm in.


:rolling:

What is it with you and scoring your shorts? That's awesome.

Adam Isaac
05-01-2007, 01:58 PM
I'm all in.

I've never done military. This will be good, now give us guidelines or give us death!:cool:

Like the motivation behind it...I was actually pre-planning our Halloween contest last night, and was going to start a thread urging someone to host one(or two)to keep things flowing until Fall.:cool:

dpaterso
05-01-2007, 02:35 PM
Could I enter a musical set during the Boer War*
*always heard that war mentioned on Jeopardy but
hell if I know what they were fighting about.
British Empire vs. South African Dutch settlers (Boers) seeking independence from Imperial rule. Can't understand why -- who wouldn't want to be ruled by Britain?

-Derek

OzFade
05-01-2007, 10:00 PM
If you want to use a set piece similar to that cool little opening Ozfade had using the virus outbreak in WWI, feel free

When did I write that?

ihavebiglips
05-01-2007, 10:54 PM
When did I write that?

**** if I know. I thought I remembered some Aussie writing it. I'm a drunk. I think it was... um... nevermind, it was someone else... um... it's on the tip of my tongue, but it exists. If he that wrote it reads this, I'm sure he'll show his face.

PS - Oz, dude, I've read some of your work. I like your work, alot, and I think you know this. Consider my confusing your work with something else I read on here and liked, and consider that a compliment. I liked that opening. Being a drunk blood puking drunk (as my brother pukes off the balcony), I did the math. Note... my abacus is in the shop. Sorry for the confusion.

PPS - I just searched and found it. It was Mac H.... the Four Horseman ****. Sorry again, my magical realisim compadre. Won't happen again.

PPPS - Mac H. - sorry for atributing that to someone else, as you can tell... I liked it.

PPPPS - I haven't apologized this much to anyone outside of my girlfriend. Ever. Not that my apologizing to her was ever warranted. It's just something we men find ourselves doing.

ihavebiglips
05-01-2007, 11:00 PM
I'm all in.

I've never done military. This will be good, now give us guidelines or give us death!:cool:

Like the motivation behind it...I was actually pre-planning our Halloween contest last night, and was going to start a thread urging someone to host one(or two)to keep things flowing until Fall.:cool:

You know what? I want to go long. I know it can be hard to write something poignant in five pages. I want to say, I don't know... eight to ten, but that might fauck us logistically. How about some feedback from you folks on a copacetic (remember this word, we military folk used it on a regular/semi-regular basis) page count. Not to sound like I'm lacking in leadership... I just believe in democracy vs a republic.

thatcomedian
05-01-2007, 11:10 PM
Could I enter a musical set during the Boer War* or
is that too much of a bore?

Big?


*always heard that war mentioned on Jeopardy but
hell if I know what they were fighting about.

I'm in.

Well, if you are going to do a musical about a war, that is the war to do it about.

thatcomedian
05-01-2007, 11:12 PM
British Empire vs. South African Dutch settlers (Boers) seeking independence from Imperial rule. Can't understand why -- who wouldn't want to be ruled by Britain?

-Derek
Ahem

OzFade
05-01-2007, 11:17 PM
All good Lips.

5 - 10 pages should be ideal. Heck just make the max page limit 10.

If I can think of something I'll be in.

Fortean
05-02-2007, 05:21 AM
Hmmm...! (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bc/BurningofWashington1814.jpg)

Harbinger
05-02-2007, 05:42 AM
Yep, I'm in for this one. Great idea for a contest.

Lets have some guidelines then Lips! Deadlines and the like.

dpaterso
05-02-2007, 05:52 AM
Hmmm...! (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bc/BurningofWashington1814.jpg)
Hmph.

During the War of 1812 much of Washington was burned by British troops in retaliation for burning Upper Canada's Parliament Buildings in the Battle of York (present day Toronto) leaving the White House gutted.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_House#Early_use.2C_the_1814_fire.2C_and_rebu ilding

-Derek

ihavebiglips
05-02-2007, 07:00 AM
Alright, folks.

Ten page max military themed short. I'll say due on the thirtieth, maybe some of you will see something on Memorial Day that will inspire you.

Am I missing anything else? Adam, how did your prize offering work out, logistically? Derek and Adam: how did you guys deal with the formatting issues?

You can e-mail me submissions at ihavebiglips@yahoo.com. I'll post them on the board, anonymously. You can e-mail me or PM me your votes. First through third place with the 3,2,1 points system seemed reasonable enough to me. Feel free (and I encourage it) to add any comments you have on the submissions. I'll add them when the winners are announced, like Derek did for the Valentine's Day contest.

30 May 2007. 10 page max. Present Arms! Fire Away!

dpaterso
05-02-2007, 07:40 AM
I received the St. Valentine's Day contest entries in all kinds of formats, but ended up having to boil them all down to the lowest common denominator, plain text. Shame for those who'd gone to great lengths to produce a nicely formatted entry, but I just couldn't duplicate this every time when posting in forum. An admin nightmare, actually. :) Adam's system of splitting plain text entries over 2 or more PMs seems ideal by comparison.

-Derek

ihavebiglips
05-02-2007, 07:49 AM
I received the St. Valentine's Day contest entries in all kinds of formats, but ended up having to boil them all down to the lowest common denominator, plain text. Shame for those who'd gone to great lengths to produce a nicely formatted entry, but I just couldn't duplicate this every time when posting in forum. An admin nightmare, actually. :) Adam's system of splitting plain text entries over 2 or more PMs seems ideal by comparison.

-Derek

Sounds about right. Plain Text it is, folks!

Fire in the hole!

OzFade
05-02-2007, 08:31 AM
Okay I've got an idea and am running with it.

ihavebiglips
05-02-2007, 08:51 AM
Okay I've got an idea and am running with it.

Great, man. Looking forward to it.

Oz has cast the gauntlet, ladies and gentlemen.

ihavebiglips
05-02-2007, 08:54 AM
Could I enter a musical set during the Boer War* or
is that too much of a bore?

Big?


*always heard that war mentioned on Jeopardy but
hell if I know what they were fighting about.

I'm in.

Bring it on. Sounds Brechtian.

Harbinger
05-02-2007, 08:57 AM
I've got a corker of an idea brewing! Just hope I find the time now.

Good contest, Lips. Gives me a chance to write a piece I've wanted to write for a while.

Adam Isaac
05-02-2007, 11:03 AM
You know what? I want to go long. I know it can be hard to write something poignant in five pages. I want to say, I don't know... eight to ten, but that might fauck us logistically. How about some feedback from you folks on a copacetic (remember this word, we military folk used it on a regular/semi-regular basis) page count. Not to sound like I'm lacking in leadership... I just believe in democracy vs a republic.


Make it 5-7 pages.

Short Script skill competitions shouldn't take 8-10 pages. We're busy as ****e with our own work/projects, so if everyone hands in a 10 pager it will effect the outcome of how many people actually vote.

Passer-byers see a thread of shorts that take two-three minutes apiece to read, and they read them....they see a thread of shorts that takes five to six minutes to read, and they pass on voting because they decide not to read them all.

Your show though. 5-7 is plenty of time to show everyone what you got, in my opinion.

Adam Isaac
05-02-2007, 11:04 AM
All good Lips.

5 - 10 pages should be ideal. Heck just make the max page limit 10.

If I can think of something I'll be in.


If 8 ain't enough, you may be suffering from E.D.:D

Harbinger
05-02-2007, 11:06 AM
I second the above from Adam. Seven pages is ample.

Too many ten page entries and DD'ers, busy bees as we all are, will be a little more reluctant to trawl through them.

OzFade
05-02-2007, 11:09 AM
There should never be a minimum page length for shorts. I do agree on a max though.


I hope E.D means Enormous Di...well you get the idea.

Adam Isaac
05-02-2007, 11:18 AM
Alright, folks.

Ten page max military themed short. I'll say due on the thirtieth, maybe some of you will see something on Memorial Day that will inspire you.

Am I missing anything else? Adam, how did your prize offering work out, logistically? Derek and Adam: how did you guys deal with the formatting issues?

You can e-mail me submissions at ihavebiglips@yahoo.com. I'll post them on the board, anonymously. You can e-mail me or PM me your votes. First through third place with the 3,2,1 points system seemed reasonable enough to me. Feel free (and I encourage it) to add any comments you have on the submissions. I'll add them when the winners are announced, like Derek did for the Valentine's Day contest.

30 May 2007. 10 page max. Present Arms! Fire Away!


The PM split method worked well. It's easy for the submitting writer and the person(you)posting submissions.

Prize offering? habronic & Deacon Blu opted for donation to the Special Olympics in honor of Clary's wife(I matched their winnings of $35). Then I shipped out a $50 bottle of Asyla Scotch to Arroway, which he recieved without too much hassle. RyPa got a DOUBLE INDEMNITY DVD...hopefully, he recieved it.

Determined this after Devil's Deadline: AUSTRAILIAN winners set-up a PAYPAL account and award them through this method. Shipping to CANADA, UK, and EUROPE varies and requires some form of negotiation between winner and sender(shouldn't be too much of a hassle). If shipping booze...remember to pack it in snugly in a Fed Ex tube or something...it will bust if it isn't cushioned from within. Money Orders will work, as will PayPal anywhere in the World(unless I am mistaken on M.O.'s).

Thanks for hosting this one, Lips. I think everyone benefits from maintaining a consistent level of activity in the Writing Exercises Forum. That way, if you want to compete--you'll always have that option open.:cool:

ihavebiglips
05-02-2007, 11:31 AM
I second the above from Adam. Seven pages is ample.

Too many ten page entries and DD'ers, busy bees as we all are, will be a little more reluctant to trawl through them.

Makes sense. 7 pages it is.

Okay. Officially (for now... snort): 30 May 2007. Midnight. Military theme. 7 page max.

Adam Isaac
05-02-2007, 04:54 PM
I'm starting tonight.


http://www.gifflix.com/./data/media/15/hax0r.gif

dpaterso
05-02-2007, 05:13 PM
Being a real man, I shall start at 11pm on the 30th, and will only use one finger.

Only one entry per member allowed?

-Derek

ihavebiglips
05-02-2007, 05:34 PM
Being a real man, I shall start at 11pm on the 30th, and will only use one finger.

Only one entry per member allowed?

-Derek

Is that the standard you guys use? I don't mind multiple entries.

dpaterso
05-03-2007, 03:52 AM
Readers might mind. :)

Adam limited # of entries to 2.

So naturally, I had to submit 2.

If you said 10's the limit I'd probably submit 10.

Hmm, I'm seeing a pattern here.

Maybe 1 is enough. Or 2. Or whatever you decide, for thou art like unto a god.

Are you missing your volcano?

-Derek

Jakkal
05-03-2007, 04:28 AM
I'm starting tonight.


http://www.gifflix.com/./data/media/15/hax0r.gif

Is it bad that I got all of the jokes? Maybe I should lay off the video games.

ihavebiglips
05-03-2007, 04:36 AM
Readers might mind. :)

Adam limited # of entries to 2.

So naturally, I had to submit 2.

If you said 10's the limit I'd probably submit 10.

Hmm, I'm seeing a pattern here.

Maybe 1 is enough. Or 2. Or whatever you decide, for thou art like unto a god.

Are you missing your volcano?

-Derek


Um... two sounds good, you prolific freak!

dpaterso
05-03-2007, 05:02 AM
I'm starting tonight.
http://www.gifflix.com/./data/media/15/hax0r.gif
Me pissamapants laffin. Dis iz not funny contst! Yoo die n00b!

Um... two sounds good, you prolific freak!
Hey, I am not prolific! Just bored.

-Derek

Arroway
05-03-2007, 12:36 PM
reporting for duty...

i hope more people enter this time. were shooting for at least thirty entries right?

ihavebiglips
05-03-2007, 12:41 PM
reporting for duty...

i hope more people enter this time. were shooting for at least thirty entries right?

I would hope so. The subject matter lends itself to drama quite readily.

C'mon fools!

Fall in!

Adam Isaac
05-04-2007, 09:12 AM
What a strangely enjoyable story I've come up with. I was really worried I'd bomb on this one. This is really going to be a cool contest.

ihavebiglips
05-04-2007, 09:14 AM
What a strangely enjoyable story I've come up with. This is really going to be a cool contest.

Yeah, and remember - considering the subject matter a lot of you might find these things turning into viable feature ideas.

ihavebiglips
05-08-2007, 05:56 AM
Hello! Hello! Hello!

Hello. Hello. Hello...

hello... hello... hel...


Does that approximate a fading echo adequately?

thatcomedian
05-08-2007, 10:05 AM
Hello! Hello! Hello!

Hello. Hello. Hello...

hello... hello... hel...


Does that approximate a fading echo adequately?

Be patient. Just think of this as a 30 day Ebay aution and this is only the 8th day.

ihavebiglips
05-08-2007, 10:59 AM
Be patient. Just think of this as a 30 day Ebay aution and this is only the 8th day.

Actually, it may have worked. I just got another entry!

But yes, I will relax. Just hoping this isn't one of those contests that get 5 entries.

Carry on, troop.

Mark Twain Weck
05-12-2007, 11:21 PM
Just how strictly is the 7 page limit going to be enforced?:confused:

Already I see a couple of entries that are well over. :eek:

My first draft came in at 8 1/2 pages. I trimmed it back to 7 1/3. That's with proper formatting. I can't go much lower. :(

Without formatting it's right on 7 pages. :D

I trust/hope/pray there will be some leeway. :)

OzFade
05-13-2007, 12:32 AM
Just enter it Mark. I think the main concern is having like 10 pages to read.

Mark Twain Weck
05-13-2007, 12:47 AM
Just enter it Mark. I think the main concern is having like 10 pages to read.

You just wanna see me get disqualified so you can win. Hey Oz?;)

dpaterso
05-13-2007, 03:55 AM
Be patient. Just think of this as a 30 day Ebay aution and this is only the 8th day.
And of course some sneaky son of a bitch is waiting to snatch the item away from you at the very last moment.

Mark, trimming suggestion, cut out all your dialogue lines. If that still leaves you with too many pages, cut out all your action lines. Now you know the secret of lean writing. No need to thank me, you're welcome.

-Derek

thatcomedian
05-13-2007, 08:51 AM
Mark, trimming suggestion, cut out all your dialogue lines. If that still leaves you with too many pages, cut out all your action lines. Now you know the secret of lean writing. No need to thank me, you're welcome.

-Derek
And if it is still too long, you probably have too many wrylies.

Mark Twain Weck
05-13-2007, 08:19 PM
I'll try that Derek and David. Here goes...


FADE IN:

EXT. WARZONE - NIGHT

Peace.

FADE OUT:


Wow!!! It works. Thanks guys. :)

Harbinger
05-13-2007, 11:50 PM
Remember show, don't tell.

How exactly are you conveying 'Peace'. Short answer? you're not.

Gid rid of it.

dpaterso
05-14-2007, 12:09 AM
Harbinger is absolutely correct, that short script has "amateur" stamped all over it. Here's how the pros would do it:

FADE IN:

EXT. UNKNOWN LOCATION - NIGHT

SUPER: Peace.

FADE OUT

...Note the quasi-surreal layered subtextual content that neatly encapsulates the best of Plastique Eurotrash and Japanese Hentai cinema. Feel free to ask questions, we're here for you.

-Derek

Harbinger
05-14-2007, 12:20 AM
Gotta love that Quasi-subtextual gumpf!

Not sure about the use of Super. Always find it a little lazy by the writer. how about ...

FADE IN:

EXT. PEACEFUL WARZONE - NIGHT

FADE OUT:

Now that's the winner!

Mark Twain Weck
05-14-2007, 12:24 AM
Gotta love that Quasi-subtextual gumpf!

Not sure about the use of Super. Always find it a little lazy by the writer. how about ...

FADE IN:

EXT. PEACEFUL WARZONE - NIGHT

FADE OUT:



Hmmm? Dream sequence, right?

IndieMe
05-14-2007, 05:03 PM
Yeah, that one's a contender for a Derek for sure. :)

Since I missed the Sex and Murder contest by two days, but had the scripts already written, maybe I can rewrite the settings into war zones and make one or two characters soldiers... hmm, maybe not.

Got a couple of ideas brewing, but I need a real brew to get really going. :D

dpaterso
05-20-2007, 03:03 AM
Only 11 days to go! I need more entries to read over breakfast, what's wrong with you people?

-Derek

ihavebiglips
05-21-2007, 01:27 PM
Well, Derek's plea for more shorts got us ONE extra entry yesterday.

TEN days left folks, Hopefully Memorial Day weekend (or watching the news, or something) inspires some of you and gives us a better turnout.

Remember, I'm offering the same prizes Adam did for the Sex & Murder challenge.

Mmm... booze.

ihavebiglips
05-24-2007, 10:08 PM
Okay, troops... FALL IN!

You maggots have got one week to scrape your sorry asses into lean, mean, writing machines. D-Day is on her way, and she don't give a good god damn about any single one of you motherless sons of bitches!

Drop and give me seven! (pages, maximum)

Dismissed.

Adam Isaac
05-25-2007, 01:07 PM
R. Lee Ermey came to me in a dream last night. He was on my toilet and all he said was, "Hey peckerface, hand me that gotdamn military short you're writing...you're out of toilet paper."

ihavebiglips
05-29-2007, 07:21 AM
Only twelve entries thus far... come on, folks! :D

OzFade
05-29-2007, 07:41 AM
I might be able to pull out another one if inspirado hits.

ihavebiglips
05-30-2007, 07:07 AM
Mount up!

Deadline's at midnight, maggots!



:fryingpan:

I need a smiley in a 'Smokey The Bear' hat.

OzFade
05-30-2007, 08:28 AM
Okay it's the 31st here...12:28 am.

I'm still waiting for inspirado. Can I have a little leeway if I make the midnight 30th of May deadline on American time?

ihavebiglips
05-30-2007, 08:34 AM
Okay it's the 31st here...12:28 am.

I'm still waiting for inspirado. Can I have a little leeway if I make the midnight 30th of May deadline on American time?

Sure... I figure we can go by L.A. time, seeing as how it's the Mecca of all this ****.

Makes more sense than Zulu time.

ihavebiglips
05-31-2007, 05:19 AM
Good work, troops!

I have three or four entries (which were on time) to post, considering I

a) got drunk

and

b) passed out

last night.

I'll post them today, as I get paid to do real work. Great job everyone. So, wait until I post in this thread again, verifying all entries are posted and final, and then I'll give the voting criteria.

Thanks again!

ihavebiglips
05-31-2007, 07:50 AM
Alright troops... at ease.

15 entries, that's what we got. Please send your votes and comments to me via PM or my email address: ihavebiglips@yahoo.com

Voting structure will be as follows:

3 points for your first place vote
2 for second
1 for third

Anyone that submitted a short will receive 3 points for voting. The reason being (and this was Dpat's sound reasoning) that those that don't vote are receiving votes but not putting votes out there, skewing the final tally in their favor. And, since you can't vote for yourself, there will be a three point value added to your tally for paticipating in the voting process.

Feel free to add comments to your votes, in fact I encourage it. The criticisms can help us improve our writing, and that's the point of the message board, after all.

Thanks again to all who vote, and please - even if you didn't submit an entry - take the time to read these shorts and vote.

Voting will close JUNE 7th, so get reading!

Carry on.

thatcomedian
05-31-2007, 10:18 AM
I don't understand this paragraph.


Anyone that submitted a short will receive 3 points for voting. The reason being (and this was Dpat's sound reasoning) that those that don't vote are receiving votes but not putting votes out there, skewing the final tally in their favor. And, since you can't vote for yourself, there will be a three point value added to your tally for paticipating in the voting process.

Harbinger
05-31-2007, 10:28 AM
Well simply put if there are only two entries to a contest - Writer A and Writer B - and perhaps, for this example, only the people who enter are allowed to vote.

Writer A gives Writer B 3 points.

But

Writer B refuses to vote. Writer B wins despite not voting and Writer A votes to their detriment.

If however Writer A receives 3 points for voting, then regardless of whether writer B effectively cheats by not voting, Writer A still has 3 point for voting.

This makes the score fair at 3 points each.

If Writer B adheres to the rules, they will receive 3 more points for voting, which still tallies up as 6 points each as is fair.

thatcomedian
05-31-2007, 10:35 AM
Well simply put if there are only two entries to a contest - Writer A and Writer B - and perhaps, for this example, only the people who enter are allowed to vote.

Writer A gives Writer B 3 points.

But

Writer B refuses to vote. Writer B wins despite not voting and Writer A votes to their detriment.

If however Writer A receives 3 points for voting, then regardless of whether writer B effectively cheats by not voting, Writer A still has 3 point for voting.

This makes the score fair at 3 points each.

If Writer B adheres to the rules, they will receive 3 more points for voting, which still tallies up as 6 points each as is fair.

So you get 3 additional points for your own entry if you vote but no additional points if you choose not to vote.

Harbinger
05-31-2007, 10:39 AM
Exactly.

That effectively cuts out the non-voting entrants who might receive votes for their work, but refuse to give out votes in case another entries point tally begins to catch them up.

This leaves just one problem. The throw away vote, in which someone who perhaps is in the lead, might vote for the short they know won't win instead of the short they truly like because it's currently in second place.

Still I think, unlike a lot of other sites, we're a proud lot with strong integrity so hopefully that won't be a problem.

dpaterso
05-31-2007, 10:52 AM
Heck, I don't expect any intentional skulduggery (tho' I love using that word). Fact is, Real Life can jump up and slap any of us at any time without warning, so if we get distracted and can't vote for whatever reason, the bonus points will balance the results. It's an equalizer to benefit all, not a punishment. And you don't have to do anything extra, the administrator handles the math for you.

Also, if we're emailing our votes to lips instead of posting them in forum, we won't know which entries are in the lead until the final results are announced. Another equalizer.

-Derek

Harbinger
05-31-2007, 10:58 AM
Very true, Dpat.

I just went for an example that would clarify the 3 point vote rule the easiest. As I said I don't expect any hoodwinkery ( :) ) , but it was a good way of showing just how the rule works on a few levels.

As I said, this became my favourite scriptwriting forum purely because of the low (or perhaps even non-existent) Troll count and the fact that integrity is a word that means something here........ DO you hear a distant national anthem?

dpaterso
05-31-2007, 11:04 AM
What, "Flower of Scotland"? Yeah. Damn bagpipes!

-Derek

Harbinger
05-31-2007, 11:18 AM
I was thinking the epic...

'You'll Never Walk Alone'

I could still listen to that all day.....despite the AC Milan smash and grab in the final that shall not be mentioned.

....Although technically it's not a national anthem.

ihavebiglips
05-31-2007, 11:50 AM
So, everything under control?

Thanks for handling my light work on the explanatory front, Harb.

Mark Twain Weck
05-31-2007, 02:28 PM
Keeping in line with the theme of this contest, this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rORE1BGXw7Y) can be the anthem. :)

Fortean
06-01-2007, 04:42 AM
Nothing specific, just something with a military theme. Anything goes, from a study on human nature using kids playing army, to an actual war piece, to a character study exploring the aftermath of war.

Anything goes.
Then, here's my suggestion for this contest's "anthem." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQFoOx6RcYI)

ihavebiglips
06-04-2007, 07:12 AM
Final tally... fourteen entries.


So far.... THREE VOTERS.

Arroway
06-04-2007, 10:10 AM
four.

ihavebiglips
06-04-2007, 10:46 AM
four.

Thank you.

dpaterso
06-05-2007, 12:25 AM
I'm coming! I'm coming!

I mean, votes coming soon, I'm reading 'em now and scribbling comments.

...And lo it was done; the electrons were scattered through the ether, and it was good.

-Derek

ihavebiglips
06-06-2007, 06:48 AM
Tomorrow is the last day to vote.

There are FIVE contestants who didn't vote yet (you know who you are)... and we have gotten ZERO votes from people that didn't submit.

This is kind of sad.

dpaterso
06-06-2007, 09:03 AM
Only the folks who happen to look in Writing Exercises know about it, so don't take it personally. Maybe some more sigline and profile advertising from everybody might help? Shot in the dark, but you never know.

-Derek

ihavebiglips
06-06-2007, 09:32 AM
Only the folks who happen to look in Writing Exercises know about it, so don't take it personally. Maybe some more sigline and profile advertising from everybody might help? Shot in the dark, but you never know.

-Derek

I don't feel personally slighted or some ****... I'm not THAT pathetic. I just feel bad for the folks that submitted and hoped for more feedback.

Fortean
06-06-2007, 09:38 AM
Is it too late for me and Gilly to enter?
What a pitiful attempt to get three more votes for themselves, as voting contestants!

No, too late!

Well...

Okay, I'll give you half a vote each, as a consolation prize, (and to irk Harbinger, with half-votes), if they're posted, ('cause we may as well be very inconsistent, if we're goin' to break the rules).

ihavebiglips
06-06-2007, 09:39 AM
Is it too late for me and Gilly to enter?

Sadly, yes.

Then again, Gilly would probably just back out.

dpaterso
06-06-2007, 09:51 AM
On a more positive note, it gives the rest of us a chance to win!

-Derek

Arroway
06-06-2007, 12:24 PM
i too am disappointed about the turnout.

for the NEXT one (knock on wood), i think there should be a stickied thread at the top of one on one section and, at the very least, a small blurb on the main page.

these contests are certainly more laudable and deserving of attention than the majority of inane and worthless threads on this board.

Itís depressing when discussions regarding how in-vogue (beats) are at the moment, and how many brads to use get more replies than a writing contest among peers.


I think it speaks leagues about the mindset of most aspiring ďwritersĒ.



Okay, Iím done. Anyone else want to borrow my soap box?

IndieMe
06-06-2007, 01:09 PM
This is almost the only section I ever check on these boards. Maybe I'm odd...

I almost missed the deadline this time again, simply because I don't come here very often. I thought I had another day. I also tried to combine this contest with an assignment at another site. Trying to kill two birds with one stone. Didn't work out real well, but at least I entered.

When I don't enter I try to at least read and vote on those that did.

I agree that the participation this time was disappointing, especially considering the amount of members here.

PS. If anyone here likes writing shorts, MoviePoet.com has monthly contests for 5 page max shorts intended for the Indie filmmakers looking for scripts.

Jcorona
06-06-2007, 01:23 PM
I personally believe it's mainly because of the topic (and the timing for me) that a lot of folks didn't enter.

I've taken part in the past in some contests purely to have fun. That's it. No other reason. I'm lyin', I'd love to win a Derek. :D

The most fun I've personally ever had on this forum was during the action challenge and I didn't even write a piece.

You done did good, ihavebiglips.

I haven't read any of the entries (but I will read all, hopefully sometime soon) so unfortunately won't vote.

Props to everyone who did participate.

Corona :)

Harbinger
06-06-2007, 07:06 PM
I agree with everything said. I thing Biglips did a great job as host.

I also hope my vote got there, because DD seems to have gone a bit nuts on me. PM's went a bit weird.

Anyway enjoyed the chalenge and at the risk of revealing myself as a contestant, I was very proud of my entry.

I look forward to seeing the eventual outcome.

OzFade
06-06-2007, 11:16 PM
I think maybe the theme could have had some impact on the level of participation. I know for me I'm not really a big fan of war films so writing one doesn't really strike my fancy.

However (and I'll join Harbinger on the outsing ourselves as contestants) I used the theme and turned it around to something I did like and I had a lot of fun actually.

I was here for this one and I'll be here for the next one.

Signal30
06-06-2007, 11:21 PM
Isn't the challenge (for aspiring screenwriters) in taking a subject you have absolutely no interest in, and seeing how well you handle it?

Jcorona
06-06-2007, 11:43 PM
Isn't the challenge (for aspiring screenwriters) in taking a subject you have absolutely no interest in, and seeing how well you handle it?

Not for me, not right now. I'll do that once I hopefully start getting paid.

Right now, I purposely write what I enjoy and am passionate about so that A) I produce decent work, and B) finish it!

Corona

dpaterso
06-06-2007, 11:54 PM
Isn't the challenge (for aspiring screenwriters) in taking a subject you have absolutely no interest in, and seeing how well you handle it?
Yep, plus writing to deadline while staying within length limits.

-Derek

Signal30
06-07-2007, 02:08 PM
Wait a minute... were comments due with the votes?

ihavebiglips
06-07-2007, 02:54 PM
Wait a minute... were comments due with the votes?

They weren't DUE, just preferred and appreciated. If you got some, feel free to send them to me and I'll post them. Feedback is always good.

ihavebiglips
06-08-2007, 07:37 AM
Okay... the votes are in, the winners establishes.

In the spirit of democracy, I'll open this up for feedback. How would you folks like to see the votes/comments? We didn't get many comments, but I was planning on just pasting them into the bottom of the entries in the other thread, and naming the winners (1-3) in a new post in that thread, opening up post-contest discussion, back-slaps, and **** talking.

Let me know, troops.

Harbinger
06-08-2007, 08:05 AM
Sounds good to me, Biglips.

I'm on tenderhooks (although I'm not sure that's how it's spelt)

*Much biting of nails*

ihavebiglips
06-08-2007, 08:19 AM
I'll be posting these comments and votes through out the day, but you guys might want to wait a few hours before viewing it in completion.

I'm at work, trying to do this on the sly and waste time as I coast into the weekend.

IndieMe
06-08-2007, 12:19 PM
We didn't get many comments

I'm not the best reviewer in the world, but I'll try to write something up over the weekend. Might not be for all of them though, but a short comment is probably better than none. :)

Fortean
06-08-2007, 01:30 PM
Rot13 Chggv atzlf ubegf perra cynlv agbny rtoyr sbezn gjnfn qnhag vatgn fxnaq vjnfc rnfrq gbfrr ubjgu roybp xfbsr apvcu rerqg grkgj rerer erceb qhprq Pnajr rkcrp gnjva areol midnig ht?

dpaterso
06-08-2007, 01:52 PM
By zvqavt ug? Entirely possible!

I should have known! I should have guessed!

-Derek

dpaterso
06-09-2007, 05:04 AM
I'll be posting these comments and votes through out the day, but you guys might want to wait a few hours before viewing it in completion.
War is hell, and ditto the past 24 hours!

We're chewin' our fingernails here!

-Derek

Adam Isaac
06-14-2007, 11:31 AM
i too am disappointed about the turnout.

for the NEXT one (knock on wood), i think there should be a stickied thread at the top of one on one section and, at the very least, a small blurb on the main page.

these contests are certainly more laudable and deserving of attention than the majority of inane and worthless threads on this board.

It’s depressing when discussions regarding how in-vogue (beats) are at the moment, and how many brads to use get more replies than a writing contest among peers.


I think it speaks leagues about the mindset of most aspiring “writers”.



Okay, I’m done. Anyone else want to borrow my soap box?


I know. I'm a piece of sh*t.

I still stand by what I said though, this idea was awesome, but it humbled me big time. I gave it three hours of spinning before the only military voice I heard in my head was R. Lee Ermey's. My core was about military dogs(do they even have dogs in the military?) completing a mission for a wounded soldier. 100% fictional...but to be honest the idea was just too damn...furry for me...weak effort on my part. I read the first four and was 180 off on the entire vibe...lame excuse really.

I'm on my second Soul Hunter graphic novel, and that bump was in the name of promoting not disrespect...I met with Q that day too(anybody seen him lately?). Apologies, but I officially know there's no way I can enter every one of these...I can be all over the place sometimes...I'm 4 years into my writing career, I shouldn't overplay my hand like that and not follow through.



Don't forget the fabulous DD femmes...they account for a portion too, and they're all pretty damn good too. 14 entries is damn fabulous.

I know, blah-blah...excuses-excuses...I actually like being called out, reminds me of my pops at the dinner table when he used to say to me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE BATHROOM DAY AND NIGHT? GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE!!

Adam Isaac
06-14-2007, 11:43 AM
They weren't DUE, just preferred and appreciated. If you got some, feel free to send them to me and I'll post them. Feedback is always good.


I ****ed up, lips. I knew the dog idea was an omen...to what? Well, who really knows? 50% effort in finding my flow...I apologize.

ihavebiglips
06-14-2007, 12:05 PM
I ****ed up, lips. I knew the dog idea was an omen...to what? Well, who really knows? 50% effort in finding my flow...I apologize.

Don't sweat it, dude. There will be other contests.

****, this idea was kind of inspired by your contest anyway... I even said I'd match your booze offer. (Though Harbinger has yet to PM me his booze order) :D

PS - yes, the military uses K-9 units in the same capacity the cops use them (MP's and in the AF, SPs)... also EOD uses them to find bombs, but I'm not sure about rescue dogs. A little research goes a long way. Sounds like a cool idea, though.

Keep on truckin', brutha.

IndieMe
06-23-2007, 10:33 PM
I know I'm late as usual and maybe no one will read this, but this is a few comments regarding the winning scripts.

Enemy mine:

Very well written for sure. It felt very authentic.
The dialogue carried the piece.
There was a lot of dialogue. The dialogue was good, but left me wanting a few more visuals to go along with it.
The author might get mad at me here, but I also felt that it was a little ďpreachyĒ . Iím not sure preachy is exactly the word Iím looking for (English is hard for me) but I felt there was perhaps a little too much trustworthiness towards the ďarabĒ. I like to believe everyone is a good person, but considering the current situation in the Middle East, I think the British crew might have been more suspicious.
Regardless, this one was my #1 vote

Wings of Eagles;

Well written, but I really didnít care for Yodel at all. Maybe he was just a tad too cocky for my taste, I donít know. I felt he was a wreckless selfish person. Even though he ďsacrificedĒ himself in the end, I didnít really care. Donít take this personally though, Iíve read quite a few of your scripts on your website and I enjoy your writing.

The Dying Song:

I think this one was the best written script of the contest. I did however only vote for it in third place. Reason... as well written and plotted as it was, I could see the whole story unfold very early on. I thought it was very predictable. Still, it was in my top three and I congratulate you on winning.

As far as my own entry goes, well, all I can say is ďdonít wait to the last minute, and maybe 3am ainít my prime!

Anyways, I love these excersises and look forward to the next one.

dpaterso
06-24-2007, 04:51 AM
Thanks Indie, appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.

I briefly considered an alternative ending for Enemy Mine but couldn't make the Arab's being shot at the end feel real enough without turning one of the squad into a total psycho or an accident-prone idiot. I also had a radio play in mind which is maybe why it feels dialogue-heavy.

Wings of Eagles didn't work for me either, it's a bigger story squeezed into too small a space, I fear too much characterization was lost in the process. But, it had airplanes, and some readers just love airplanes. :)

-Derek

J off course
06-24-2007, 09:19 AM
Derek, was that snide airplane remark directed at me?

I curse you with the sour milk of a thousand ADULT GOATS.

:p

dpaterso
06-24-2007, 02:14 PM
Snide airplane remark?! Nothing could be further from the truth -- I rejoice in your airplane fetish! You are the wind beneath my wings.

And I fully appreciate as how you felt it necessary to specify "adult goat" in your remarkable entry. Underage goat milking is reviled in many cultures, and rightly so.

PS - I just noticed - happy 4,000th post to me. I need to get a life.

-Derek

IndieMe
06-24-2007, 03:01 PM
But, it had airplanes, and some readers just love airplanes. :)

I don't know if it was a snide remark or not, but I'm actually quite fond of planes and pilots. Got a Christen Eagle even, so I enjoyed it, just didn't care for Yodel. :)

Fortean
06-24-2007, 07:35 PM
You are the wind beneath my wings.

...PS - I just noticed - happy 4,000th post to me. I need to get a life.

-Derek

And, maybe, a license for your sporran (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/6234290.stm)?

...do they even have dogs in the military?...
Yeah, Rin Tin Tin's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rin_Tin_Tin) mother wore combat boots! We should hear more about this later this year. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493443/combined)

Lots of dogs still serve in the military. I question why they aren't used more often to try to track down the people planting IEDs in Afghanistan and Iraq.