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Naudikom
03-22-2008, 06:08 PM
VOTING STARTS APRIL 1ST - PM ME WITH YOUR VOTES AT THAT TIME

MIXED TAPES

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING

An alarm clock goes off.

It fills the room with nature sounds blasted at a volume that makes them into something far more unpleasant than nature sounds.

WILLY (27) sits up in a brown sleeping bag, laid on a sheetless, blood stained Futon. He has long, stringy hair and a black goatee.

He slams the alarm off and pulls a Metallica shirt over his scrawny frame.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

In a grimy kitchen with grease stains covering the walls, Willy walks over and fires up a stove top tea kettle.

There are uncleaned skillets all over the stove.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Willy walks over to the tape deck in the living room. It is a small tape deck/CD Player on the floor next to a pile of dirty laundry.

Willy searches around on the floor until he finds a tape that is still in its wrapping. He takes it out and puts it in the tape deck.

He hits record on the tape deck and play on the CD Player. An asinine, teen dance song fills the room.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Willy walks back into the kitchen, takes the boiling water off of the stove. Picks up a coffee mug and checks its cleanliness with his finger.

Satisfied with his check, he pours the water in and adds a spoon of instant coffee.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Willy walks back over to the tape deck. He hits stop, pops in another CD, and hits play/record. A pop-punk/emo song about breaking up fills the room.

INT. BATHROOM - DAY

Willy splashes water over his face with his cupped hands at a dirty sink. He gargles a bit of the stream and starts shaving all around his goatee with a used razor.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Willy walks back over to his tapedeck. He pops out the pop-punk CD and puts in another. A super sappy, teen R and B love song fills the room

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Willy bends over his gas range and lights a cigarette on an exposed burner.

He takes a deep drag, walks over to his phone and dials. It rings twice.

WILLY
Hello, Officer Pettigrew? Yes, I was wondering if it would be OK if I went to the grocery store this morning.
(beat)
Just some eggs and milk and sh@#, sir.
(beat)
Yes, sir. One hour, sir. Thank you, sir.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Willy pops the tape out of the tapedeck, writes something on it, then flops down on his Futon.

He fishes around on the ground and finds an anklet. He shakes his head in disgust and snaps the anklet on. A red LCD light starts blinking in a lazy rhythm.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY

Willy walks over to a beat up pick up truck in his driveway. He throws his jacket in the back and walks around and gets in.

EXT. FRONT YARD - DAY

CASSIE (15) is standing in a school girl’s uniform with blue tights and plaid skirt. She is listening to headphones and bobbing to the rhythm.

Willy’s pickup truck drives by and its break lights come on.

Cassie looks over, confused.

Willy hops out and waves a pleasant smile. Cassie takes her headphones off and starts to turn away.

WILLY
Hey, there! Hi, hi!

Cassie doesn’t look up.

WILLY
Are you shy?

He grins.

WILLY
That’s OK. My name is Willy Phelps. I’ve got something for ya’.

She still doesn’t look up. Willy takes the tape out of his back pocket. He starts to walk towards Cassie but she looks down and turns away.

Willy holds up his hand.

WILLY
Ok. Ok. Ok.

Willy kneels down and puts the tape on the grass. He backs away slowly.

WILLY
It’s OK to be smart and not talk to me. Look, I’m going to leave this tape right here on the ground. If you like it, just do me a favor and come to the address written on the front.

Willy eyes her up and down.

WILLY
You can stay dressed like that. It’s all good.

Willy bows a shallow bow.

WILLY
All right then.

Willy walks back to his truck, gets in and drives off. Cassie hesitates for a beat and walks over and picks up the tape.

Naudikom
03-22-2008, 06:12 PM
UNPROTECTED SEX

INT. GYNECOLOGIST'S OFFICE - DAY

MEGAN (20’s) in a paper gown, sits on the examination table. She fidgets in her seat and coughs once.

DR. ANDREA (40’s) with hair pulled back in a pony tail and horn-rimmed glasses, steps in.

DR.ANDREA
Megan, you were here a month ago. Is everything alright?

MEGAN
I’m fine, Dr. Andrea. I just have an itch down there...
(points to crotch)
... and in my throat.

With one eyebrow raised she glances at Megan.

DR.ANDREA
You didn’t have unprotected sex did you?

Megan cringes, nods with embarrassment.

DR.ANDREA
Let’s have a look.

Megan lies down, puts her feet in the stirrups.

Dr. Andrea takes her seat between Megan's legs. With her brow furrowed she leans in.

DR.ANDREA
Hmmm...

She pokes around some, puts something in a jar, stares at the contents closely.

MEGAN
Did I tell you I’m getting married?

DR.ANDREA
No you didn’t! Congratulations!

She gets up, removes her gloves and puts on a new pair then moves over to Megan's face, touches her chin.

DR.ANDREA
Open wide.

Dr. Andrea takes samples from Megan’s throat, places them in a different jar.

DR.ANDREA
So, who’s the lucky guy?

MEGAN
His name is Jim. He’s amazing! Works for the county coroner.

DR.ANDREA
Sounds a bit morbid.

MEGAN
He says he loves it there. Says dead people never complain about anything.

Dr. Andrea studies the specimens under a microscope.
Megan fidgets again.

MEGAN
(embarrassed)
My ass itches too.

Dr. Andrea gives Megan a look of disapproval then gestures for her to lie down again.

She takes samples from Megan’s ass while Megan makes a face of discomfort.

Dr. Andrea strides back to the microscope, checks the samples again, turns to Megan. Shows her the glass jar.

DR.ANDREA
Maybe he likes his job a little too much.

Megan stares at the jar with small white lumps in it.

MEGAN
What is that?

DR.ANDREA
Maggots!

Megan’s eyes roll back into her head. She faints and falls off the table with a big thud.

FADE OUT:

Naudikom
04-03-2008, 10:49 PM
THE WINNER

FADE IN:


INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT

On the stage, the FEMALE WRITER in an elegant evening gown clutches the golden writers' trophy. Tears stream from her eyes, smearing her mascara. At her side, in a colorful tuxedo, the MALE HOST applauds her.


Off the stage, numerous writers circled about dinner tables clap their hands, pound the tables, and clink tableware against wine glasses.


FEMALE WRITER
Oh, thank you--


Boisterous applause drowns out her words. She holds the trophy aloft with her right hand for all to see.


FEMALE WRITER
At long last--
(she winces and drops the trophy)
Ouch!

The Male Host reaches out to steady the Female Writer.


MALE HOST
Are you okay?


FEMALE WRITER
(smiles through tears, rubs her right hand)
Just a sharp pain.

The Male Host retrieves the trophy and hands it to the Female Writer. She raises it up, but only half as high, and smiles at the host, on stage, and then to the host off-stage.

FEMALE WRITER
Owww!


The Female Writer hops into the air and grabs her left foot. The Male Host grabs the airborne trophy before it falls onto the stage. She limps over to the Host and takes the trophy from him again.


MALE HOST
What's wrong?


FEMALE WRITER
It felt like I stepped on a nail.

The Female Writer's gown flies up, as if a gust of wind from a subway vent had revisited Marilyn Monroe. She grabs the hem and pulls it down below her knees, without letting go of her trophy. She looks over to the Male Host.


FEMALE WRITER
I'll be okay.
(desperation overcomes her anger and embarrassment)
No, I'm going---

The Female Writer scampers off the stage, bent-over, still clutching the hem of her gown and her golden trophy.

INT. BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR - NIGHT

The Female Writer races past two BUSBOYS with carts of dirty dishware, stops, and turns to them.


FEMALE WRITER
Washroom! Where's the ladies' washroom?


BUSBOY #1
The ladies' powder room is on the other side of the kitchen. If you go up those stairs, across the lobby--


FEMALE WRITER
Any washroom! I need one, NOW!


BUSBOY #2
That second door, there, is for the staff.


FEMALE WRITER
Gracias!


The Female Writer disappears into the washroom.


BUSBOY #1
Now, do you believe?


BUSBOY #2
Let me try, it, just once.


BUSBOY #1
No, she's had enough, already.


BUSBOY #2
Just once?

Busboy #1 shakes his head and removes a napkin. He reveals a Barbie doll with pins stuck in its right hand and left foot, which now sits in a dish of salsa. Busboy #1 giggles.


BUSBOY #1
It won't work for you, anyway, 'cause you don't really believe in magic.

Busboy #2 snatches the doll up, flings open an exterior exit, and throws the doll into the outside alley. He pulls the exit door shut and frowns at Busboy #1.


BUSBOY #2
There! You never fooled me with your stupid magic tricks. You're such an-

Terrible screams from the Female Writer erupt (O.S.) from behind the washroom door, two doors away.


EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT


Rats tussle. Teeth and claws grab and pull the Barbie doll away from the others. A large rat chews on a bit of salsa. It snatches the doll away from the other rats and runs away with it.

FADE OUT:

Naudikom
04-03-2008, 11:03 PM
THE TENTH, PT. 1

FADE IN


INT. LABORATORY - NIGHT


CHAD and MONTY, both late 30s, over worked, and awkwardly geeky. Theyíre bathed in the blue flicker of a computer screen. Chad clicks away at the keyboard.

CHAD
Itís not pulling anything.


MONTY
The lines are all green, it must be software.

CHAD
Letís call him.


MONTY
Itís twelve thirty dude, you know how he gets.


The windowless laboratory is crammed with monitoring equipment and a myriad of wires all flowing into a black ball fitted over the head of...


DIAMOND JIM, a middle aged man with bullet hole and knife scars in various places on his naked body. His head is anchored into position with surgical steel bolts around a halo of strengthened steel.


His arms and legs are strapped down. Heís leaning forward in a massage therapists chair. He has a catheter running out of his penis and another one sticking out of the right side of his lower abdomen.


Yellow urine and feces collect in clear bags at his feet.


Three intravenous drip bags feed into Jimís arm.


CHAD
Well?


MONTY
Wake him and do what you can.


Chad hits the enter key, Jimís eyes open.


JIM
What the ****!


MONTY
Kill the speech.


Chad taps some more keys.


Monty turns on a small monitor. A black and white close-up of Jimís face fades in.


JIM
Am I dead? Is this ****ing it? Guards?!? Warden?!?


Chad hits the enter key. Jimís face on the monitor, he can tell his voice is gone and his face is a flushed mixture of anger and worry.


Monty is on the floor checking wires.


MONTY
You ********, the phalanx is unplugged.


Monty plugs a cord in an already overloaded power strip.


CHAD
Goddamn it, Iím sorry.


MONTY
Crisis averted. Letís get on with it. Rolling video.


Monty pushes the record button. Chad starts typing. Monty walks around so he faces Jim. Jim silently screams at Montyís face. Monty laughs and cups his hand to his ears.


MONTY
Whatís that? Sorry, canít hear you. Could you speak up?


CHAD
Okay, roll call. Left arm.


Jimís left arm clenches.


MONTY
Check.


Jimís left arm relaxes.


CHAD
Right leg.


Jimís right leg clenches.


MONTY
Check.


CHAD
Watch his face dude.


Chad types away then smirks as he hits the enter key.

Jimís face contorts. Itís like heís giving a lecture on facial expressions for clowns. Chad and Monty laugh.


MONTY
Thatís awesome dude. Can you animate it?


CHAD
Already did.


Chad types some more and hits enter.


Jim makes kissy faces then licks all around his lips, and finally, his face contorts in a coitus crescendo.


CHAD
I call it, "The Big O".


Chad and Monty laugh together.

Naudikom
04-03-2008, 11:05 PM
THE TENTH, PT. 2

A tall dark man in a white lab coat enters the laboratory. Monty walks over to him.


MONTY
Dr. Hess, we thought youíd gone home sir.


DR. HESS is well into his sixties.


DR. HESS
At ease gentlemen. Are we in?


MONTY
Yes sir, caps are all in, diags all green, feeds and reads are normal.


Dr. Hess pulls out a mini-disc and hands it to Chad.


DR. HESS
After that diag, run this.


Chad opens the DVD tray and slides the disc in. Dr. Hess puts on his reading glasses and looks close at the screen.


DR. HESS
His speech is off.


MONTY
Yes sir. Itís the profanity sir.


DR. HESS
Turn it back on. You donít want to miss this.


Chad types, Jim abruptly stops his silent screams and looks like heís sleeping.


CHAD
Coming on line now sir.


DR. HESS
You recording this?


MONTY
Yes sir.


Jim wakes up.


JIM
****ing Christ on a stick! What the **** is going on!


Dr. Hess studies Jimís face in the monitor. He turns to chad and points at the computer screen.


DR. HESS
Give the KK12 four more nodes. Turn two-fifty-two through three-eighty-one up to one-fifty. Make all the 1500ís an even ten.


Chadís fingers clack away on the keyboard. Jimís face contorts and it looks like heís throwing up but the only thing coming out of his mouth is spittle.


DR. HESS
Try twelve.


Jim coughs and the redness in his face slowly fades. Terror has gripped Jimís face.


JIM
For the love of Christ, what the **** are you doing to me? Whereís my lawyer? I want my ****ing lawyer!


DR. HESS
Run the fifth one.


Chad types.

JIM
Do you ******s hear me Goddamn it! I said I want-


Chad hits the enter key. Jim blinks hard. Suddenly his face flushes red, his eyes tear up, and his nose starts to run.


JIM
Oh my God Iím so sorry.


Jim is racked by sobs. He mumbles admissions to some past crimes through his tears and mucus.


JIM
Janet never hurt no one. Mickey died on my shoes. Memphis Bill, oh why did I ever keep his finger in that jar. Oh God I need hell. I need to burn.


DR. HESS
Switch him over to the ninth one.


Chad types. Jim sleeps for a moment. Chad hits enter. Jimís face is racked with pain. His screams are deafening.


MONTY
(Yelling over the noise.)
What did you do?


DR. HESS
Weíre Gods gentlemen.
(Beat.)
I granted his wish.


Chad and Monty share an uneasy look.


DR. HESS
Keep him on this until he passes out. Then let him sleep. In the morning weíll walk him through all nine.


CHAD
Whatís the tenth one do?


DR. HESS
Disconnects the mind from the body.


FADE OUT