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Jcorona
03-25-2009, 01:45 AM
I seriously wanna thank everybody who entered. :)

Thank you, Dp, for the wonderful idea and inspiration behind the contest and all your help.

Adam, I hope you feel the love that your friends have sent you.

Here are the results . . .




















. . . after the break.

Corona :p

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 01:53 AM
What would you like me to break?

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:00 AM
Our courageous wonderful entrants were:

mtoomey
umo
mcornetto
dpaterso
spyder23
Fortean
IndieMe
flamegrilledwhopper

May I please have mtoomey and umo come forward please.

They do.

mtoomey, you wrote, Coming To a Shelf Near You. Poopcorn, very nasty.

umo, you wrote, The Ladies Room. Very sexy, VERY sexy.

After 78 whopping votes, the voters voted and decided . . . we'll know after the break.

Corona

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:02 AM
What would you like me to break?

Break my head, please?

Corona :)

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:12 AM
A.I. MUSIC
Wa-aaaaaah!

Okay, we're back.

After 78 whopping votes . . . mtoomey . . . you are through to the next round. Congratulations! :)

umo, I loved your short. Loved it! If I could've voted, you would've been one of my top three, most definitely.

A big, tight hug and :love: for you.

Now, may I please have mcornetto and dpaterso step forward please.

mcornetto does, dpaterso trips and falls.

Somebody help him up, please.

Thank you.

dpaterso finally makes it.

mcornetto, you wrote Chuck and Julio Save The Environment and a Whole Lot of Weed and the Planet of the Apes.

dp, you wrote, The Algebra Test and The Biker Bar.

After 78 wild votes . . . mcornetto . . . dpaterso . . . dpaterso . . . dpaterso!!!!! Look at me.

Gah, man, c'mon, get with it.

Thanks.

We'll know after the break.

Corona

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:14 AM
Okay, I'm just typing this here to have a break, okay?

Pretend it takes 2 minutes.

Corona

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:22 AM
A.I. MUSIC
Wa-aaaaaah!

Welcome back.

mcornetto and dpaterso, please hold hands. Not that lovingly and tight, dp.

Thank you.

After 78 tense-filled votes . . . mcornetto . . . I'm so sorry 'cause your short had me busting up in parts and it's a shame you didn't make it to the next round. A shame.

dpaterso, you are through. Congratulations! :)

Thank you so much, mcornetto. Much love, brotha. :)

May I please have spyder23 and Fortean step forward . . . after the break.

Corona

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:24 AM
2 minutes go by.

Corona

dpaterso
03-25-2009, 02:31 AM
I demand a recount!

-Derek

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:32 AM
spyder23 and Fortean, please step forward.

They do.

Thank you.

spyder23, you wrote, The Dream Job.

Fortean, you wrote, Abruptly.

After a DD-wide vote casted a tremendous 78 votes . . . spyder23 . . . do you think you made it?

Fortean, do you think you made it?

Let me look at my card . . . after the break.

Corona

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:34 AM
I demand a recount!

-Derek

:rolling:

I'm gonna laugh for two minutes now.

Corona

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 02:40 AM
I think he might have died laughing.

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:42 AM
A.I. MUSIC
Wa-aaaaaah!

Welcome back.

This was tight.

Very tight.

I mean tight.

spyder23 . . . welcome to the next round. Congratulations! :)

Fortean, loved your set up and ending. Loved it. Thank you so much for entering. :) :) :)

Now may I please have our last two contestants step forward.

flamegrilledwhopper does.

IndieMe is hesitant.

C'mon, IndieMe.

There you go.

flamegrilledwhopper, you wrote, No Man Left Behind.

IndieMe, you wrote, Unrelated.

After 77 . . . I mean 75, no 78 votes, we'll know after the break, okay?

Corona

dpaterso
03-25-2009, 02:43 AM
The unbearable tension! IndieMe's pink silk panties are knotted with excitement, and I know, 'cause I'm wearing them.

-Derek

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:45 AM
I think he might have died laughing.

:rolling:

Hi, mcornetto.

Thank you for entering again. :)

I'm sorry, I'm making this stuff up as I go and I'm tired and horny and I don't know whether I should go to sleep or handle business.

I'm gonna go handle business. I'll be back in 2 minutes.

Corona

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 02:45 AM
Hey wait, Corona told me those were his panties.

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 02:50 AM
Hey wait, Corona told me those were his panties.

Everyone wants to get into those panties.

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 02:51 AM
After dpat's been wearing them, everyone can get into them.

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 02:54 AM
Like all of India, and Russia... And ah Sweden.

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 02:55 AM
A.I. MUSIC
Wa-aaaaaah!

IndieMe, please stop frickin' shaking.

flamegrilledwhopper, IndieMe, after 73 votes.

Huh?

Right, 78 votes . . . flamedgrilledwhopper . . . you were in my top three along with umo, and that's why I hate to say you didn't advance. Your short was hilarious, IMHO. I'm so sorry and thank you so much for entering. :)

IndieMe, welcome to the next round. Congratulations! :) You had the highest number of votes in the opening round, girl. :p

I'm gonna post the final tallies next if I don't fall asleep first because I'm really relaxed now.

I sincerely wanna thank everyone who entered.

THANK YOU. :)

Please, if you didn't advance, please continue to follow the contest and vote for your favorites in the semis and the finals.

Corona :)

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 02:55 AM
I think Jcorona fell asleep while handling business.

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 02:58 AM
I think Jcorona fell asleep while handling business.

Or images of dpat in pink panties are slowing the process.

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 03:09 AM
I think J, went blind.

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:10 AM
:rolling:

I heard that.

I'm typing up the final tallies.

Corona :p

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 03:12 AM
:rolling:
I'm typing up the final tallies.


These things always take longer with one hand, of course.

dpaterso
03-25-2009, 03:13 AM
We're in the middle of high drama here and all you can talk about is my panties?!

So I've put on a couple of ounces over the years... they're still tight where it matters.

But not as tight as JCorona's math. Once he takes off his shoes and starts countin' on his toes as well as his fingers, things really start moving.

-Derek

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 03:17 AM
Yea, how did he get up to 78? If I use my hands and feet I can only count up to 32.

dpaterso
03-25-2009, 03:18 AM
Binary.

But don't say that out loud, last guy who accused JC of being binary ended up in a dumpster.

Wait. 32?

-Derek

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:20 AM
Final tallies:

UNRELATED - IndieMe - (3 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 15)

THE TEST - dpaterso - (3 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 12)

COMING TO A SHELF NEAR YOU - mtoomey - (3 + 3 + 1 = 7)

*PERFECT WIFE - IndieMe - (2 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 6)

THE DREAM JOB - spyder23 - (2 + 1 = 3)

CHUCK AND JULIO SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT - mcornetto - ( 3 )

THE LADIES ROOM - umo - ( 2 )

ABRUPTLY - Fortean - ( 2 )

NO MAN LEFT BEHIND - flamegrilledwhopper - ( 1 )

HOT - spyder23 - ( 1 )

FISH TAILS - dpaterso - ( 1 )

HEROES - dapterso - ( 1 )

* IndieMe advanced with UNRELATED, so spyder23, with THE DREAM JOB, and mcornetto, with CHUCK AND LARRY SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT, take the fourth and fifth spots and move on to the next round, respectively (I never understood why they add respectively like this, that's why I'm doing it).

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my silliness. If I did, I'm sorry, just trying to add some fun.

Due to the result of my stupidity and the tie, there will not be a heads-up final four. Instead, the five remaining contestants will enter new shorts that will be voted on in the same way that the first round scripts were voted on.

The Fab Five are:

#1 ranked, IndieMe

#2 ranked, dpaterso

#3 ranked, mtoomey

#4 ranked, spyder23 and mcornetto, a tie.

Topic for new shorts: anything to do about a screw up, but you can't write about me. I mean I'd be honored, seriously, but NO!

The shorts are due Saturday night at 12:59 PM, west coast time.

Good luck, you guys, and jobs well done.

Corona :)

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:24 AM
You guys got me rollin'.

What's binary mean?

I'm too relaxed to go get the dictionary.

Corona :o

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 03:26 AM
What's binary mean?


It means that you have two digits.

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:31 AM
It means that you have two digits.

I'm still lost. Is that bad?

:rolling:

Corona

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 03:31 AM
You guys got me rollin'.

What's binary mean?



It means you're too relaxed to go get the dictionary.

Mark Somers
03-25-2009, 03:32 AM
I'm still lost. Is that bad?

:rolling:

Corona

Not if you're a one legged camel.

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:34 AM
It means you're too relaxed to go get the dictionary.

You guys are killing me tonight, I swear.

But I ain't gonna roll, I'm just gonna smile 'cause I'm too relaxed.

Corona :)

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:35 AM
Not if you're a one legged camel.

Okay, I'm gonna go get the dictionary.

I'm confused.

Corona :p

dpaterso
03-25-2009, 03:45 AM
Good job, JCorona! Slight problem, I need to take back the 1st place vote I gave to Unrelated and award it to The Test instead, thanks, I knew you'd understand.

Blessed be to the sophisticated and discerning readers who voted for Fish Tails and Heroes. I can't believe everyone didn't. One day these will become classics and the non-voters will look back and say, Damn, I was there, I could have voted for them and got myself some serious street cred.

Go to bed, JC! Tomorrow, you will awaken as a man.

-Derek

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:46 AM
I read the definition.

I'm even more confused now. Whoever invented that word is stupid.

Goodnight, you guys.

Corona :)

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 03:47 AM
Go to bed, JC! Tomorrow, you will awaken as a man.

-Derek

I was just about to go to bed, Dp, but I read that.

What am I now?

Corona :p

IndieMe
03-25-2009, 04:35 AM
I got votes this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :love:

I voted for

The Test

The Dream Job

Fish Tails

Thanks Corona for running this thing! :love:

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 05:29 AM
Well done Indie :-)

Fortean
03-25-2009, 06:29 AM
Final tallies:

UNRELATED - IndieMe - (3 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 15)

THE TEST - dpaterso - (3 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 12)

COMING TO A SHELF NEAR YOU - mtoomey - (3 + 3 + 1 = 7)

*PERFECT WIFE - IndieMe - (2 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 6)

THE DREAM JOB - spyder23 - (2 + 1 = 3)

THE LADIES ROOM - umo - ( 2 )

ABRUPTLY - Fortean - ( 2 )

CHUCK AND JULIO SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT - mcornetto - ( 1 )

NO MAN LEFT BEHIND - flamegrilledwhopper - ( 1 )

HOT - spyder23 - ( 1 )

FISH TAILS - dpaterso - ( 1 )

HEROES - dapterso - ( 1 )



78, 77, 75, 73...? I'm perplexed at the math in this vote count! There appear to be 8 first place votes, 9 second place votes, and 10 third place votes, (for a total of 52 points). At least someone saved me from a last place finish, and I can hold onto my second-round entry for another contest.

Well, call me Mr. Lister, (and, I'll bite, too)! IndieMe got my first and second votes by sheer trickery, (much better writing, along with that darned rule against voting for my own entry); and, spyder23 got my third vote for "Hot."

I'll blame clueless for my poor showing with his advice to IndieMe.

...use the word "ejaculate" a few times. You'll do fine.

I did.

SINGH
Ejaculate?

TUTTLE
Ejaculate.

SINGH
That can't be right!

TUTTLE
Sure, it's ejaculate.This will teach me to take advice from someone who's clueless, eh?

I didn't see anyone else use the word "ejaculate."


I'll look forward to the next round's entries, work upon my income tax return instead of another March Madness entry, (for much more fun and creativity), and enjoy this Merry Madcap (http://www.resologist.net/Merry%20Madcap.mid), (music composed by Mae Bell (http://mainemusicbox.library.umaine.edu/musicbox/pages/full_record.asp?id=KAS_002589&dispimg=0)), without any worry about winning, or losing, it.

zenplato
03-25-2009, 06:36 AM
Indie made it seem like she couldn't write comedy and BAM!

That will teach us to mess with her.

She's the lady!

mtoomey
03-25-2009, 07:26 AM
We are writers, not mathematicians. And many of you are insomniacs. :)

Corona,
are you giving us a theme/topic for the next round?

78, 77, 75, 73...? I'm perplexed at the math in this vote count! There appear to be 8 first place votes, 9 second place votes, and 10 third place votes, (for a total of 52 points).

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 07:39 AM
78, 77, 75, 73...? I'm perplexed at the math in this vote count! There appear to be 8 first place votes, 9 second place votes, and 10 third place votes, (for a total of 52 points)

Thank you, Fortean.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that my stupid but did 6 X the number of entries (12) + 6 more for the extra voter which = 78.

I should've done 6 X the number of entrants (8) + 6 more for the extra voter which = 54.

So, Fortean, you're right, it was an error on my part but the result totals and the outcomes are accurate, except for where did the other 2 points go and the bad news?

I looked over the point totals again just now and . . . swallows . . . I put down that mcornetto had a single third-place vote, when in fact, I should've put down that he had a single first-place vote for a total of 3.

A stupid mistake that I should'n've made when it means so much. :o

That's what I get for clowning around.

So in reality, spyder23 and mcornetto are tied for the fourth spot.

Damn, I'm so sorry.

Now I need to do a tie-breaker . . . fast.

I had a way I was going to do it but I'd like to hear any suggestions before I do it, in case I hear of a better way than mine. I already feel like an a$$.

Help?

Corona :(

mtoomey
03-25-2009, 07:45 AM
Dance off. Two minute dance routine (any style is acceptable, though hip hop dancing is preferred). Post it on You Tube by 8am and we all vote for our favorite. It doesn't get any easier.
MT



Now I need to do a tie-breaker . . . fast.

I had a way I was going to do it but I'd like to hear any suggestions before I do it, in case I hear of a better way than mine. I already feel like an a$$.

Help?

Corona :(

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 07:48 AM
We are writers, not mathematicians. And many of you are insomniacs. :)

Corona,
are you giving us a theme/topic for the next round?

Hi, mtoomey. :)

You're right, I'm not a very good mathmetician but I did screw up royally, 100% my fault.

I know I mess around a lot, too much, but I am honest and would never mess with the voting and needed to clear the air.

I will be giving out a topic as soon as the tie-breaker decides the 4th placer, to be fair to that person.

Somebody please call me names.

Corona :(

Fortean
03-25-2009, 07:49 AM
Simple. Don't count any of the votes for IndieMe. She's disqualified. Make up any excuse. Done deal.

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 07:49 AM
Dance off. Two minute dance routine (any style is acceptable, though hip hop dancing is preferred). Post it on You Tube by 8am and we all vote for our favorite. It doesn't get any easier.
MT

MT, you're making me feel worse.

Corona :(

mtoomey
03-25-2009, 07:58 AM
well....if you don't want to do a tiebreaker, you could just have all 5 people enter this round and rather than a "head to head" battle, we all vote for our favorite 2. Top 2 move on to Thunderdome.

Though I'm still partial to the dance off. I can't access you tube from work, so they better start movin' soon if they want my vote.

MT

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 08:12 AM
well....if you don't want to do a tiebreaker, you could just have all 5 people enter this round and rather than a "head to head" battle, we all vote for our favorite 2. Top 2 move on to Thunderdome.

Though I'm still partial to the dance off. I can't access you tube from work, so they better start movin' soon if they want my vote.

MT

This, I like!

It's fair and I'd rather not yank anybody.

I'm sorry about no head-to-head battle in this next round, but their will be one-on-one-ness in the finals!

Both spyder and mcornetto are in . . . deservedly so.

Top two advance to the finals.

Topic: anything to do about a screw-up.

And you can't write about me. You have to create. :p

Thanks, MT!

Corona :)

umo
03-25-2009, 09:33 AM
Congrats to the finalists. Your entries were awesome! :bounce:

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 09:47 AM
Congrats to the finalists. Your entries were awesome! :bounce:

So was yours, Smoke.

Corona :)

Jcorona
03-25-2009, 10:21 AM
I'll look forward to the next round's entries, work upon my income tax return instead of another March Madness entry, (for much more fun and creativity), and enjoy this Merry Madcap (http://www.resologist.net/Merry%20Madcap.mid), (music composed by Mae Bell (http://mainemusicbox.library.umaine.edu/musicbox/pages/full_record.asp?id=KAS_002589&dispimg=0)), without any worry about winning, or losing, it.

Thank you for the theme music, Detective. :D

I think you got lucky, Lady. Do it again. No pressure.

Corona :D

mcornetto
03-25-2009, 02:20 PM
So in reality, spyder23 and mcornetto are tied for the fourth spot.


Perfectly alright. I was actually relieved I didn't have to hustle out another comedy before Saturday.

Code7Films
03-25-2009, 04:51 PM
What a ripoff... Umo should have been in the top 2... :eek:

IndieMe
03-25-2009, 10:25 PM
Indie made it seem like she couldn't write comedy and BAM!

That will teach us to mess with her.

She's the lady!

I didn't think they were funny myself to be honest with you.

Hey, maybe I should stick to stuff others think is funny'ish???

My latest idea is a quadraplegic (sp) woman who gets sued by a young buff guy for sexual harassment... I guess not. :|

Back to the drawing board...

dpaterso
03-26-2009, 01:40 AM
I didn't think they were funny myself to be honest with you.
Too bad! You got votes! Deal with it! :D

My latest idea is a quadraplegic (sp) woman who gets sued by a young buff guy for sexual harassment... I guess not. :|
Methinks the fun part (dark/sick fun) would be the sexual harassment itself, i.e. finding out how she actually does this, and his reaction, rather than the gets sued part. So fun potential is there, I just don't think you've highlighted the right place.

/opinion

-Derek