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View Full Version : TOUCH OF NOIR 2: NEO-NOIR (Contest guidelines)


Adam Isaac
04-03-2010, 06:25 AM
TOUCH OF NOIR is our noir short script contest. If you're interested in entering, read or print this post.

For those unfamiliar with film noir and exactly what it is, please refer daily, to my signature.

CONTEST GUIDELINES:
Page limit is set at (8) pages maximum.
Submission time frame is between APRIL 4-MAY 12.
Writers may submit (2) entries into the contest.
Anyone who enters must vote. Additional judges will also participate
Results will be posted on MAY 6.
PM all submissions to me!



POOL OF NOIR THEMES:
(The following is a list of typical Places and Players found within film noir, it is UP TO YOU to decide what your noir story will be, but these may be of some help)

DIMLY LIT APARTMENT-Shadows dominate, furniture is spare, thin walls tell secrets.

DARK ALLEY-Wet asphalt, turned over trash cans, barking dogs, the echo of footsteps.

DESERTED CAFÉ-Makes Hopper’s Nighthawks look like Time Square on New Year’s Eve. A past-her-time waitress mops up while the short order cook broods behind the greasy counter.

LONELY BAR-Weathered barkeep pours himself one for every two he pours his only customer. Smoke curls around their heads and the sound of wet tires on asphalt can be heard as cars pass by outside.

ABANDONED WAREHOUSE-Broken windows, a maze of stacked crates teeter ominously, exposed pipes drip unknown liquid, only one way in or out.

LOW-BUDGET HOTEL-Long, dark hallways and stairwells lead to spare, claustrophobic rooms. Flashing neon visible through Venetian blinds, ratty bedspread and tattered rugs adorn.

Use your imagination...you can set your story anywhere, really.


(PLAYERS):

THE DOOMED HERO
THE PRIVATE DICK
THE AGING GANGSTER
THE FEMME FATALE
THE DOORMAT
THE SECRET KEEPER
THE LOW-LIFE
THE ORDINARY JOE
THE ANTI-HERO
THE WRONG MAN
THE CROOKED COP
THE MIND READER
THE FALL GUY
THE GOVERNMENT AGENT
THE AMNESIAC
THE INDEPENDENT WOMAN

Adam Isaac
04-03-2010, 06:35 AM
CLICK ME ALSO! (http://www.crimeculture.com/Contents/NeoNoir.html)

Adam Isaac
04-06-2010, 03:12 AM
I can pay the winner $50 and a bottle of good Pinot Noir

2nd place will be $25 and a bottle of good Pinot Noir


Third prize is: You're Fired!

Adam Isaac
04-16-2010, 11:30 AM
Lames...guess I'll have to post mine first.:eek:

IndieMe
04-18-2010, 10:25 PM
...there's still a couple of weeks to go... I don't start typing until the last day! Early entries are for... whatever that word is...;)

Mad Mat
04-19-2010, 05:19 AM
Lames...guess I'll have to post mine first.:eek:

It was dark, lonely and quiet - just the way I had planned it. My 'substitute wife in a bottle' was going to be nagging me like Hell tomorrow, but tonight we were enjoying ourselves - like there was no tomorrow - just the past.

The streetlight projected my rain-soaked office windows onto the wall opposite. I sat there, mesmorised by the cascading rippled patterns, smiling at the irony of how well these images metaphorically represented my life.

Suddenly my self-serving solitude was shattered. The ripples seemed to leap from the wall as the door was flung open.

Adam 'Knuckles' Isaac, a big lug of man, entered, not too pleased to see me drinking.

"Where's the script?" he growled.

"I've still got two weeks" I countered.

"Yeah? Well just remember, there's a reason why they call it a deadline."

Knuckles was right. It was time to knuckle down.

Adam Isaac
04-21-2010, 12:21 AM
:cool: :bounce:

dpaterso
04-22-2010, 12:05 PM
Did I see something somewhere about limiting flashbacks?

Not that I'm gonna use flashbacks! Flashbacks are for punks!

-Derek

Jcorona
04-22-2010, 12:57 PM
Flashbacks are for punks!

-Derek

Dammit, Dp.

I swear, if you had typed in punk b1tches instead of just punks, I would've given you your first ever 1 out of 5 Dereks.

Corona

Adam Isaac
04-22-2010, 05:03 PM
Did I see something somewhere about limiting flashbacks?

Not that I'm gonna use flashbacks! Flashbacks are for punks!

-Derek


At this point...f*ck it.:D

dpaterso
04-23-2010, 12:59 AM
Dammit, Dp.
I swear, if you had typed in punk b1tches instead of just punks, I would've given you your first ever 1 out of 5 Dereks.
How sad is my life, that this actually matters to me. I'm sobbin' into my pillow.

At this point...f*ck it.:D
So noted! Tho' you'll probably change your mind once you receive 40+ entries, riddled with hard-to-reformat flashbacks.

-Derek

Jcorona
04-24-2010, 01:12 PM
How sad is my life, that this actually matters to me. I'm sobbin' into my pillow.

-Derek

1 out of 5 Dereks!

You touched my heart after you tried to touch my you-know-what.

Corona :p

Mark Somers
04-24-2010, 07:15 PM
I'm feeling pretty good about winning this year... I'm already up to 40 flasbacks in 8 pages. Pretty hot stuff uh? You know it.

dpaterso
04-25-2010, 07:58 AM
I thought my epic entries in the Feb '08 Touch of Noir contest were winners, but no one agreed! That fateful night, I took my anger out into the streets. They're still turning up the bodies. But they'll never find the faces.

-Derek

Jcorona
04-26-2010, 12:37 PM
I thought my epic entries in the Feb '08 Touch of Noir contest were winners, but no one agreed! That fateful night, I took my anger out into the streets. They're still turning up the bodies. But they'll never find the faces.

-Derek

<------

Corona :|

Adam Isaac
04-26-2010, 12:49 PM
Going to extend the deadline six days.

Jcorona
04-26-2010, 12:57 PM
Thank you, Adam.

<----- I think he needs it.

Corona

cmmora
04-26-2010, 02:34 PM
I just saw Sunset Blvd again. Thank God Billy W. never graced these parts... he may have taken out that "little flashback" he had in his movie.;)

Adam Isaac
04-26-2010, 04:10 PM
I've not given this ToN the full meal deal in terms of advocating the quality noir flicks. In short, I forgot to champion the contest with the movie round-up. I've got time still.

I will either modify my signature or come up with some sort of thread in FILMS.

Time for me to cowboy up.:eek:

ProBono Writer
04-30-2010, 08:23 AM
I'm ready to submit. Where can I send a pdf to?

Adam Isaac
04-30-2010, 09:03 AM
Uh...send it via PM if you don't mind. It will take 3 or 4 PM's, but that's alright. I just cleaned mine out.

ProBono Writer
04-30-2010, 10:19 AM
Done. It's in 3 PMs, but it should run as one long scene.

This was a fun exercise, thanks.

jeffkantoku
04-30-2010, 07:47 PM
Going to extend the deadline six days.

so when's the final day for entries?


thanks :D

Adam Isaac
04-30-2010, 08:33 PM
May 10, 2010

jeffkantoku
05-03-2010, 06:53 PM
Adam,

I was wondering if I could email you my entry rather than clog up my near full PMs with a mutilple PM entry...

possible?

thanks!

looking forward to entering and reading the other entries...!

Adam Isaac
05-03-2010, 09:47 PM
Uh...I guess so. If you think it would be a problem.

jeffkantoku
05-03-2010, 10:33 PM
Thanks. that would help a lot. Should I send it to your gmail address you have in your Profile?

Adam Isaac
05-05-2010, 11:40 PM
yeah. that is for scribe related networking and such. use that one.:)

Adam Isaac
05-10-2010, 01:49 AM
MAY 14, 2010 is the final deadline. I need at least at least 5 entries to have a contest.:|

ProBono Writer
05-10-2010, 02:02 PM
Need me to send a few filler entries under a pseudonym?

Signal30
05-11-2010, 08:16 PM
I'll see what I can do on deadline...

dpaterso
05-14-2010, 06:50 AM
MAY 14, 2010 is the final deadline. I need at least at least 5 entries to have a contest.:|
THAT'S TODAY!!!

Adam Isaac
05-14-2010, 02:51 PM
OK guys, this thing isn't ending until I get at least 5 entries. So...the games are still on!!!

Adam Isaac
05-14-2010, 02:53 PM
ATM, I have (3)...about to post the third.

Adam Isaac
05-19-2010, 09:53 PM
OK, contest will end at midnight PST tonight.:)

The Road Warrior
05-20-2010, 07:56 AM
I haven't entered TofN2 but if you'd like another vote at votiing time to add into the voting broth, very happy to do so. These compets were always the soul of this site whilst under Mr Isaac's tutelage.

Adam Isaac
05-21-2010, 11:23 AM
One just came in late. I'm accepting it. This time...I really am calling deadline up.

Will post this one and start the voting.


To all in, you rock.

To those out, you're going to be floored on JULY 4, 2010. It's going to be the defining moment for the entire DD community up to this point in terms of working some positive magic on numerous fronts. I think it's going to be a BIG step forward in bringing back some of that...creative purpose back.

Somewhat timid sequel contest. It's on me for not bringing the full funk force. Some good things aren't meant to come in twos.

OK, so here's the deal, ****-off days are over. We're reclaiming the ship and re-affirming our position in these murky waters.

I've decided not to allow this place go to sh*t.

Where is OzFade and doubler83? They get serious girlfriends or what?

The Road Warrior
05-22-2010, 03:39 AM
I've started to read through the entries Adam, when would you like the votes by?
Is it on a 1,2, 3rd place basis as per usual?

The Road Warrior
05-23-2010, 03:16 AM
Well I've voted, it was tough as I enjoyed all of the entries, I've given a joint 3rd place, with a separate 'originality vote' and if only one can be third I've stated which it's to be.

dpaterso
05-24-2010, 04:08 AM
One just came in late. I'm accepting it. This time...I really am calling deadline up.

Will post this one and start the voting.
Did you add this one to the Entries thread? (Which was last updated on 5/19 - your post above is dated 5/21)

The Road Warrior
05-24-2010, 04:38 AM
I've spoken to our man in Amsterdam, Corona, he's just received a brand new delivery of Dereks at his warehouse [please direct any queries to Corona Supplies Ltd -- delivery hotline -- 555 - 84231 ].

There are ten new statuettes up for grabs, it's a tough economy so we had to let the full size statues go, they were just too expensive due to spiralling metal prices. The new specification is 7.5 H by 2.3 B. Although shorter by 2"-- if you are the proud owner of a pre-2010 Derek and win a second one, Corona advises that you simply store the new statuette elsewhere, he suggests a bathroom window ledge - house guests are unlikely to notice the difference and will admire your achievement whilst they -- [deleted]

Straight out of the box Corona says they're a little dull but definitely not "knock-offs" of the originals, so don't fret as he also promises that before dispatching them to the winners he'll be polishing them, vigourously, with Brasso until they gleam.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brasso .

dpaterso
05-24-2010, 10:18 AM
For some odd reason I'm imagining gold-plated butt plugs. [highlight to view]

Adam Isaac
05-24-2010, 01:14 PM
OK, guys, (6) entries to vote on. Let the voting begin!

PM me your votes. Top 2 get paid Wednesday week(when I get paid--aww yeah!)

The Road Warrior
05-25-2010, 09:17 AM
For some odd reason I'm imagining gold-plated butt plugs. [highlight to view]

I don't think you'll be alone.


(Missed that last entry so will vote again).

Jcorona
05-25-2010, 09:45 AM
For some odd reason I'm imagining gold-plated butt plugs. [highlight to view]

See what dp made out of your post, Warrior? He's nasty.

You guys are crazy.

Corona :p

Mad Mat
05-25-2010, 10:52 AM
For some odd reason I'm imagining gold-plated butt plugs. [highlight to view]

If you knew the 'Dereks' that I know, then you'd be forgiven for thinking the same ...

... you sick bast*rd! ;)

Mat.

Adam Isaac
05-25-2010, 04:59 PM
Here's the official DEREK trophy I chose:

http://servicenarc.com/trophy_man.jpg

Adam Isaac
05-25-2010, 05:03 PM
And the elusive SILVER SCRIBBLER'S SKULL trophy:

http://www.louislejeune.com/segami/images300w/730.jpg

The Road Warrior
05-26-2010, 10:30 AM
I sent in some new votes, using a new 'voting coupon', Corona's face is in one corner, Adam's in the other, and a different star on the flipside from noir, Lana Turner was on mine, what you got?

dpaterso
05-27-2010, 03:16 AM
I've voted! Vote for mine, everyone! Those trophies look awesome and I intend to win both of them thanks to an overwhelming flood of votes from YOU, the people who matter most!

When PM'ing your votes to Adam, write them like this:

1st place - Derek's entry
2nd place - Derek's entry
3rd place - Derek's entry

Adam will know what you mean.

-Derek

Mark Somers
05-27-2010, 08:41 PM
Heeeeey, Derek. Congratulations on your upcoming win.

On a more personal note, does it bother you that Jcorona's kid wears his underwear on his head like they do in Scotland?

dpaterso
05-27-2010, 11:45 PM
Heeeeey, Derek. Congratulations on your upcoming win.
Thank you, I know I can count on your vote, and the votes of your numerous fake userids that you deny all knowledge of.

On a more personal note, does it bother you that Jcorona's kid wears his underwear on his head like they do in Scotland?
Ye dinna understand, we wear the underwear of our dead enemies on our heads and rejoice in their crotch-rot stench. THIS. IS. SCOTLAND.

Adam Isaac
05-28-2010, 06:58 PM
PEEPERS-11 votes
BLOOD MONEY-9 votes
KILL ME TWICE-8 votes
DEADBOLT-6 votes
UNTITLED-5 votes
NAIJA BOY-3 votes


Will have to post the writers of each when I get back to my notebook at the house.

Congrats, and prepare for a big one JULY 4.:cool:

12IronMonkeys
05-28-2010, 08:45 PM
Great work everyone!

I haven't been able to sit down and just write for a number of months now, but by God I fully intend to. I'm going to start keeping an eye on this folder and try to jump back into this. I checked it a while back but it seemed to just about be dead at the time, so I'm very happy to see that the contests are back up and going strong again. :)

dpaterso
05-29-2010, 12:06 AM
Dammit the director changed my script and cost me votes! This was supposed to be the Sheriff of Nottingham's movie, somehow it got turned into a corny gangster pastiche, WTF Ridley, WTF.

Congrats to the winner! And to everyone who had the sparkly awesomeness to write something for the contest.

Jcorona
05-29-2010, 10:00 AM
Congrats to everyone who wrote something and participated. And a big congrats to the winner!

Welcome back, Adam!

Corona :)

jeffkantoku
05-29-2010, 07:08 PM
congrats to everyone who entered and the winner of the noiriest noir!

The Road Warrior
05-30-2010, 12:35 AM
Some gnarly noir there -- congratulations to the winner and all entrants, every entry was a winner imho, darn difficult to choose from that crop of entries.

Mad Mat
05-30-2010, 05:12 AM
Same here ...

... just want to say congratulations to all the entries and a big congrats to the winner ...

... along with a huge thanks to all those who took the time to read the entries and vote - appreciate it ...

... and last but not least, a massive thanks to Adam for running the exercise. It really got the old creative juices flowing and I thoroughly enjoyed coming up with the concept for and writing my entry. So Adam, many thanks mate - nice one.

All the best to you all,

Mat.

dpaterso
06-01-2010, 07:26 AM
No one got any comments?

I scribbled some thoughts as I read the entries, so I could decide which to vote for.

The Road Warrior
06-01-2010, 09:46 AM
It's gone very quiet, like a battlefield in Ran, smoke boiling off the ash-sand ...

I will if you will. but my notes are rough, I will have to refresh. ;)

bioprofessor
06-01-2010, 10:21 AM
It's gone very quiet, like a battlefield in Ran, smoke boiling off the ash-sand ...

I will if you will. but my notes are rough, I will have to refresh. ;)
Kinda waiting for Adam to post the writers' names... :o

Love to read your notes.

dpaterso
06-01-2010, 11:02 AM
Comments follow. Stop reading if you don't want to see 'em. This is just my personal opinion, which ain't worth much at today's exchange rates.

Untitled - cute parody, although it had a talking heads vibe, they didn't even leave the office. 3rd

Peepers - Interesting read. Tommy's last lines could maybe do with extra clarity re his informing the husband that someone's porking his wife just so he can win the bet (if I've understood things right...). 1st

Deadbolt - cute little vignette, although I'd have to also say it didn't seem to rise above a domestic shooting. I didn't really get the title? 2nd.

Blood Money - WTF? How is this Neo Noir?? Amateur!

Naija Boy - seemed like a heck of a complicated set-up for such a low-key reveal/realization ending. Gotta confess, half the time I didn't understand what they were talking about, which didn't help.

Kill Me Twice - this one had all the elements, but there's too much explaining needed at the end. Elizabeth's shooting her own mother was almost acceptable, but her shooting her own father was idiotic. Alas there's no chemistry between the leads that justifies Mack's wanting to cover up the murders, which is what really lets the entry down.

The Road Warrior
06-01-2010, 11:19 AM
Kinda waiting for Adam to post the writers' names... :o

Love to read your notes.


You'd never understand them Bio -- will try and write a brief summary on within here, as Derek has, but I voted by identifying the entries I voted for, then comparing them, having come up with a sort of yard stick, for noir elements.
I am a noir fan at least, that means nothing, but I have a large collection of noir flims and books, which helps to some extent. At least it means I'm familiar with the tropes, and influences. The difficulty with the short story is the structure, very difficult to set out and wrap up a piece of noir writing in a few pages.

bioprofessor
06-01-2010, 11:31 AM
You'd never understand them Bio -- will try and write a brief summary on within here, as Derek has, but I voted by identifying the entries I voted for, then comparing them, having come up with a sort of yard stick, for noir elements.
I am a noir fan at least, that means nothing, but I have a large collection of noir flims and books, which helps to some extent. At least it means I'm familiar with the tropes, and influences. The difficulty with the short story is the structure, very difficult to set out and wrap up a piece of noir writing in a few pages.
Maybe, but remember, I read freshman term papers and lab reports for a living.
Thanks for taking part.

The Road Warrior
06-01-2010, 11:51 AM
Maybe, but remember, I read freshman term papers and lab reports for a living.
Thanks for taking part.

Ahh - a code breaker then ! ;)

I'd have liked to have taken part, but to vote at least throws something into the mix, the more who contribute the better, imo, to keep help the compets run well.


My votes btw -
1. KILL ME TWICE
2. BLOOD MONEY
3. PEEPERS

notes to follow, struggling today, but will try to get them down soon in basic form. :)

Adam Isaac
06-01-2010, 12:38 PM
Same here ...

... just want to say congratulations to all the entries and a big congrats to the winner ...

... along with a huge thanks to all those who took the time to read the entries and vote - appreciate it ...

... and last but not least, a massive thanks to Adam for running the exercise. It really got the old creative juices flowing and I thoroughly enjoyed coming up with the concept for and writing my entry. So Adam, many thanks mate - nice one.

All the best to you all,

Mat.


My pleasure. Things will continue to get the creative juices flowing from here on, so everyone better be prepared to cowboy-up and flex those writer muscles.:D :cool:

Adam Isaac
06-01-2010, 12:39 PM
Welcome back, Adam!

Corona :)


Aww yeah!!:cool:

ProBono Writer
06-01-2010, 03:18 PM
be prepared to cowboy-up

Does that mean the next one is a western?

Congrats to the winners and thanks to all for participating/voting.

Mad Mat
06-01-2010, 05:06 PM
Kill Me Twice - this one had all the elements, but there's too much explaining needed at the end. Elizabeth's shooting her own mother was almost acceptable, but her shooting her own father was idiotic. Alas there's no chemistry between the leads that justifies Mack's wanting to cover up the murders, which is what really lets the entry down.

Yeah, that one was mine. Thanks for the feedback - appreciate it. And totally agree.

As Road Warrior said, it's hard to write film noir in 8 pages. I came up with the idea in the morning of the deadline and then wrote the script in the afternoon, night and early hours. The trouble is, I got so carried away with the story and characters that the shortest I could edit it down to was 20 pages !!!

So after a few hours sleep, it was a case of cram as much into the final scenes as possible to try and make sense ... just to get it down to 8 pages ... just to get it in.

But as observed, it didn't quite work - too much going on, too much left out.

However, as I said to Adam, I'm now looking at ways to expand the 20 page short (which in itself is too short for the concept) into a feature and that wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for this exercise.

And the feedback is great, because that now gives me some food for thought as I expand the idea.

So again, D, many thanks for the feedback and Adam, many thanks for the exercise.

All the best,

Mat.

jeffkantoku
06-01-2010, 06:16 PM
hey all. I wrote Naija Boy and I'd love to get more feedback on it.

I know mine wasn't very noir-y, but I thought I'd try to amp up the "neo"-y end of things. tried to make an up-to-the-minute modern crime piece, with a downbeat, "betrayal" ending. I think if I may had added more elements of mistrust and distrust it would have leaned more to the noir side of the spectrum.

i thought that the language could possibly be a barrier, but it was an experiment where I hoped the gist or meaning of the scene would be communicated even though not every word was understood. I would be intersted to know if this was the case with everyone.

like Mad Mat said it was very difficult to contain to 8 pages, and probably one of ht e reasons my story has an anti-climactic ending. my characters, concepts, setting, etc. and notes could easily be transformed into a feature.

so thanks to Adam for hosting this contest, I now have some material that I hope to put to use for a future feature screenplay.

Thanks to everyone!

bioprofessor
06-01-2010, 06:57 PM
Peepers - Interesting read. Tommy's last lines could maybe do with extra clarity re his informing the husband that someone's porking his wife just so he can win the bet (if I've understood things right...). 1st

You got it dpat. Agreed, with a bit more refinement, I could have noir-ified the ending a bit more, given the payoff more punch.

This one's somewhat autobiographical. At a family b'day party years ago when I was about 10 yrs old, my older cousin (turned heroin addict later in life) brought me upstairs to his sister's bedroom. He pulled back the curtains to a window that overlooked their driveway and into the neighbor's (a young couple) bedroom. It's a sight and an experience I'll never forget.

I'm in the last stages of revising my action/thriller and had no intention of entering the TON, until I saw how few entries there were - I mean Adam was practically begging - so I did a "what if" and Peepers was born. I've never written a "noir," and had no idea how the hell to approach it other than to make sure I used the word "dark" here and there, and have at least one V.O. segment like when they spoofed noir on the improv show "Who's Line is it Anyway."

Congrats to all the participants and all those who voted. I'm getting pretty good at winning these DD contests - Any chance three wins gets me repped? :)

Adam Isaac
06-01-2010, 08:08 PM
I now have some material that I hope to put to use for a future feature screenplay.

See now, that is the sort of thing we're trying to create with these exercises. If these little 'events' can enable participants to run with something 'bigger,' in their own works...well, that's really the whole point in these things.

It's all about getting better. Always getting better at this crazy craft of our's, so we can start creating better material--the kind that merits more of the right kind of attention and opportunities. F*ck starting another imperfect attempt at *Script Coverage* to get better. Look, you can do all that on your own...we want to exercise the exact same muscles we all use to create and draft-our own-screen stories! Less critical feedback-more good solid practice. You know, on something original, new, and random.

The Road Warrior
06-02-2010, 03:00 AM
I feel this competition blew the dust off the "writing exercises" box, and set out the stall once again.

With 8 pagers, I think one way to go is to have about 40 pages of backstory, sitting there, bristling in the hinterland of the dialogue, like Hemingways The Killers, there's a history, that's hinted at, this is very hard to do, harder than a piece that develops over the three trad. acts of a 120 pages.

Kill Me Twice, felt most like noir to me and crammed in a nicely structured curve, damn hard, so it got my top vote ...

Peepers was solid writing, I suspected it would win, but I dropped it to third because I went with the entries that felt like noir, for example, Blood Money, yes, did feel a bit cliche, no dates given, 40s noir, oft-used character names like Mack, etc, but it had that dirty, hopeless noir feel to it and was edgy, on a second read, saw something there. The entries that had over-the-top events, bordering on the grotesque at times, imperfect motives, got my vote for that reason.

Naija Boy, Jeff, I enjoyed it, it was confusing at first, but I took it that you were going for a big pay-off. At first we're disorientated, 'where is this piece set, why there, what's this about ...' then we're brought to the shores of the USA, and we see that we've had our pov switched, I'm not an American, but I felt something along the lines of, 'the crimes we commit in some distant third country part of the world...'
However, where I felt it fell down Jeff was in the moment, on the page there's got to be something to snag us, intrigue, whatever, to draw us in, we were waiting and not being snagged enough, cinema works like that to me, we live moment to moment, dimly aware of where we've been, and where we are going. But 10/10 for originality!

I could have easily placed Deadbolt in the top three or the untitled piece-- it was about giving the votes to someone. To those writers - well done.

Congrats again to everyone -- we're here to improve craft and share in something as writers, always a good spirit around these things that rarely happens on the boards.

dpaterso
06-02-2010, 06:33 AM
However, as I said to Adam, I'm now looking at ways to expand the 20 page short (which in itself is too short for the concept) into a feature and that wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for this exercise.
Most excellent!

I doubt if anyone remembers "Fish Tails" from last year's March Madness contest, a whackjob tale about... fish hit-men (it's on my short scripts (http://mywebc.vs120132.hl-users.com/mypage/shorts.htm) webpage with the rest of the losers). Anyways, I was racking my brains and at the last moment decided to adapt Fish Tails into Blood Money -- which I like better. And the writing activity has made me look at a couple of other scripts from yesteryear, which are tickling my brain cells again. Heck, everyone's a winner!

The Road Warrior
06-02-2010, 06:43 AM
This cat Bio needs taking down, down you hear me! Three wins, indeed.

I may try for this July contest, what's it about ?

Until then, I'll be wracking my brains, and wacking my shaloo-ba-doo-ba, until some good ideas come!

Apologies, if Shakespeare can include all of those saucy puns, it's good enough for dd ...

The Road Warrior
06-02-2010, 06:48 AM
I've changed a little guys, it's start of the month, flush out that stale old avatar, get over to imdb, get yourself a bright new pic, sig, location quip, and if poss. a hyperlink to clips, and assoc. "educational material".










ps - "Educational Material" Derek, wasn't that what Billy Connolly once referred to porn mags as, in a sketch, for 'research and educational purposes', only whenever he took them down off a top shelf ... or perhaps that was Jasper Carrott.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI95r6nzVZ0

bioprofessor
06-02-2010, 07:13 AM
... Peepers was solid writing, I suspected it would win, but I dropped it to third because I went with the entries that felt like noir ...


Hey, what'd ya want? I had darkness, swirling cigarette smoke and an omniscient VO dude retelling a crime! ;)

Seriously, thanks for the feedback and to Adam for doing the thing.

This cat Bio needs taking down, down you hear me! Three wins, indeed

FLASH, SHLI-TINGGG.

Bioprofessor unsheaths his Ninja sword...

SWOOSH

... slices through Road Warrior's suspenders. OMG, Cupid boxers!

The Road Warrior
06-02-2010, 07:24 AM
Bio.

ahh, my blunder, your entry 'felt like noir', but went with the particular noir feel of the others, would be a better description, damn, someone knows my underwear choices. That was a secret.











edit to add: -- "a shaloo-ba-doo-ba" is an ancient Japanese sparring board, it comprises an oak stem and two wooden arms, and is at first beaten with the pupils inner arms, at advanced levels a fist is used to strike. It's "saucy" because ancient warriors once adorned their posts with etchings of admiring maidens ... shame on you Derek for thinking otherwise, I know that ;) you did?

dpaterso
06-03-2010, 01:47 AM
edit to add: -- "a shaloo-ba-doo-ba" is an ancient Japanese sparring board, it comprises an oak stem and two wooden arms, and is at first beaten with the pupils inner arms, at advanced levels a fist is used to strike. It's "saucy" because ancient warriors once adorned their posts with etchings of admiring maidens ... shame on you Derek for thinking otherwise, I know that ;) you did?
:shifty: I've never etched an admiring maiden onto my post, I get all my porn from the internet.

Adam Isaac
06-11-2010, 06:25 AM
Can the top 2 PM me their info, so they can recieve the $ & pinot noir, please.:cool:

bioprofessor
06-11-2010, 10:53 AM
Can the top 2 PM me their info, so they can recieve the $ & pinot noir, please.:cool:

Info?