Becoming a fake person?

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Becoming a fake person?

    It is stereotypical. I'm becoming it though. Really, really fake. The thing is, I don't feel like that's normal Hollywood. I feel like that's wannabe Hollywood. Insecurity in your creative life seems to translate to being a fake, stupid person. Just a couple of years ago, I could spot these people from a mile away. Whether they were actors, writers, models, etc, you could tell if someone was trying to be your friend for what you could do for them as opposed to just- ya know - being a friendly person. These people clearly were hoping for someone else to make them successful and I easily stigmatized the absent minded fake approach to all they were doing.

    Now though, I am becoming/living it. I am endlessly concerned about what others think of me and I feel like every mistake could be the end of the world. I am finally coming to the conscious realization that I am everything I found annoying and bad a short time ago. I'm not looking for meaningful relationships. I'm instead trying way too hard to achieve natural interaction with the hope that it will lead somewhere.

    The hardest part about it... nobody can tell me it! I love the people I work with, but they are all that way too. I no longer have a naturalistic, normal (you know what I mean) standard to compare myself to by which to objectively say "this is what it means to be yourself."

    This loss of naturalism of course affects my writing as it has my intellect. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that under this current mentality, I will not be able to write anything worthwhile. My genius script idea ceased to be genius when I decided it was genius and that's why it remains unwritten. I'm too attached to what the hypothetical success of the script will get me and I no longer care about the message. That doesn't mean I can't eventually write it, it just means I need a major subconscious shift in approach. The problem is though, I know that too. So if I'm constantly trying to shatter that, aren't I not going to be able to?

    I'm starting to lose my mind and my humanity. Please help me find it again.

  • #2
    Re: Becoming a fake person?

    Originally posted by shortfilmwriter View Post
    It is stereotypical. I'm becoming it though. Really, really fake. The thing is, I don't feel like that's normal Hollywood. I feel like that's wannabe Hollywood. Insecurity in your creative life seems to translate to being a fake, stupid person. Just a couple of years ago, I could spot these people from a mile away. Whether they were actors, writers, models, etc, you could tell if someone was trying to be your friend for what you could do for them as opposed to just- ya know - being a friendly person. These people clearly were hoping for someone else to make them successful and I easily stigmatized the absent minded fake approach to all they were doing.

    Now though, I am becoming/living it. I am endlessly concerned about what others think of me and I feel like every mistake could be the end of the world. I am finally coming to the conscious realization that I am everything I found annoying and bad a short time ago. I'm not looking for meaningful relationships. I'm instead trying way too hard to achieve natural interaction with the hope that it will lead somewhere.

    The hardest part about it... nobody can tell me it! I love the people I work with, but they are all that way too. I no longer have a naturalistic, normal (you know what I mean) standard to compare myself to by which to objectively say "this is what it means to be yourself."

    This loss of naturalism of course affects my writing as it has my intellect. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that under this current mentality, I will not be able to write anything worthwhile. My genius script idea ceased to be genius when I decided it was genius and that's why it remains unwritten. I'm too attached to what the hypothetical success of the script will get me and I no longer care about the message. That doesn't mean I can't eventually write it, it just means I need a major subconscious shift in approach. The problem is though, I know that too. So if I'm constantly trying to shatter that, aren't I not going to be able to?

    I'm starting to lose my mind and my humanity. Please help me find it again.

    I think a great life is one where you get to become what you once critiqued. That way you get to see that whatever you thought was "bad", is actually not bad, its just another step in life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to do things that will further you along... Would you fault a script for having the scenes be conducive to the end result? No, that's part of the script.

    What I think you need to do is, stop confining yourself to who you think you are NOW... That, I can relate to. When I first started doing short videos I just did whatever felt right, once I got fans, I got careful about what I put out, because now I was thinking about the fans... It got to a point where I could no longer even be creative, because I boxed myself in... I thought so high of myself (because of what fans thought of me).. that surely anything I did would just fail in comparison to what I have already done.

    The trick is, I guess to not buy into the new you. Remember what got you to where you are, and try not to lose that... Even if you get to understand how the other half lives, that just makes you a more understanding person... But you, yourself, should not fall into the trap... it will hinder you.

    Also.. This is hard but stop trying to judge peoples intentions so bad.

    The more you live and find yourself in the other side of the fence, you will realize there is no "bad" reason to do something.... Just different reasons, but as long as that something is being DONE... then accept it, appreciate it, and keep creating. I SHOULD NOT care if someone wants to be my friend to just make a movie, I should care if they can help me make a great movie...

    Even the purest of people that can come up to you and say "hey I want to work with you just because I love it, not because of money"... Even they are fulfilling some type of need. So be it money, career, love or whatever fuzzy feelings one gets while creating, people do things out of a need... No need, is BAD, or better than any other.

    Hope some of that made sense.
    Last edited by Mpimentel; 10-27-2015, 10:54 AM.
    "We're going to be rich!" - 1/2 hr COMEDY written/directed/edited by me, I also act in it.
    SUBTITLED
    Episode 1 (Beef pills)
    Episode 2 (African commercial)
    Episode 3 (Brenda's rescue)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Becoming a fake person?

      Ok. In certain ways, I'd take it easy on myself if I were you, shortfilm.

      I would argue many relationships start out as people being fake, posturing, presenting what they think others want to hear. It's like dating someone and for the first six months, you have no clue who they *really* are.

      But relationships that start as work often turn into legitimate relationships. I'm still friends with my former manager for example and check in on him. There is no benefit to this for me from a career perspective. I just like the guy.

      One thing to keep in mind. Over the years I've met many people that could start or reignite a career, but none of it means anything without content.

      So it's important to shift your focus to the work. Come up with undeniable work and those important work relationships will form organically.

      How, you ask? I don't know. They just do.

      Look, the real problem is that everyone thinks they are better than they are. They wonder why their script isn't opening doors, but the truth is that it isn't undeniable. This is a difficult reality to embrace.

      But you must write scripts if you want to be a writer. Period. I think part of your frustration comes from the lack of work. Is this correctable for you?
      Last edited by madworld; 10-27-2015, 10:32 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Becoming a fake person?

        Holy crap... GET OUT OF LA!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Becoming a fake person?

          Travel in a developing country. Fall in love. Have a baby. Take a road trip. Hike the Pacific Coast Trail. Have your heart broken. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or with needy children. Go see a weird play or art exhibit. Backpack through Eastern Europe or Southeast Asia. Sit by a dying person's bed and hold their hand. Learn to surf or rock climb or kayak. Ride a horse or an elephant or a rickshaw. Get drunk and stay out all night singing karaoke with strangers in Koreatown...etc.

          Live life, then write about it. You will never be fake doing that.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Becoming a fake person?

            When I lived in L.A. (actually moving back next week to try TV writing) and worked in the music business I only "networked" with people I actually enjoyed. It's just not going to work well any other way.

            But I love this advice:

            Originally posted by sfire8 View Post
            Travel in a developing country. Fall in love. Have a baby. Take a road trip. Hike the Pacific Coast Trail. Have your heart broken. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or with needy children. Go see a weird play or art exhibit. Backpack through Eastern Europe or Southeast Asia. Sit by a dying person's bed and hold their hand. Learn to surf or rock climb or kayak. Ride a horse or an elephant or a rickshaw. Get drunk and stay out all night singing karaoke with strangers in Koreatown...etc.

            Live life, then write about it. You will never be fake doing that.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Becoming a fake person?

              Originally posted by sfire8 View Post
              Travel in a developing country. Fall in love. Have a baby. Take a road trip. Hike the Pacific Coast Trail. Have your heart broken. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or with needy children. Go see a weird play or art exhibit. Backpack through Eastern Europe or Southeast Asia. Sit by a dying person's bed and hold their hand. Learn to surf or rock climb or kayak. Ride a horse or an elephant or a rickshaw. Get drunk and stay out all night singing karaoke with strangers in Koreatown...etc.

              Live life, then write about it. You will never be fake doing that.
              Love, love, love your advice, sfire8, except for the bolded part. Someone who hasn't done the things you suggest AND who is so preoccupied with what others think shouldn't be bringing a child into their narrow world. A baby deserves better.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Becoming a fake person?

                I find copious amounts of bourbon helps.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Becoming a fake person?

                  Just leave, seriously.

                  You don't think there are fake people outside of Hollywood? You don't in other industries, people aren't looking you first as "what can this person do for me?"

                  You call this fake, but I say it's completely real. The people you are running into are focused on achieving the career they want. And you know what, they're the ones who are probably actually going to make it. This is an industry based on relationships. People are trying to make the relationships that matter.

                  If you want to have friends, join a book club in Des Moines.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Becoming a fake person?

                    I just poked 'ma belly (jiggle jiggle). Yep, it's real

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Becoming a fake person?

                      Originally posted by UnequalProductions View Post
                      You don't think there are fake people outside of Hollywood?
                      There are absolutely fake people outside of Hollywood. I have no intent to leave the industry either. Re-read my post. I wasn't calling Hollywood fake. There are genuine people in the business, and I want to be one of them. I don't want to be the stereotype that also exists.


                      Originally posted by UnequalProductions View Post
                      People aren't looking you first as "what can this person do for me?"
                      Depends on who you're talking to. You can be out and about, stopping by any coffee shop, and wanting to just hang out and have a good time. Unfortunately, 80% of everyone you encounter wants to tell you about what they "do" and the dialogue always has the subtext of their internal dialogue that screams "what if you know someone?"

                      Originally posted by UnequalProductions View Post
                      You call this fake, but I say it's completely real. The people you are running into are focused on achieving the career they want. And you know what, they're the ones who are probably actually going to make it. This is an industry based on relationships. People are trying to make the relationships that matter.
                      This is where I disagree. I remember being in a group of industry-ish people at a bar. We were talking film, and then an exciting topic related to what I do was mentioned, and I reacted in an excited way mentioning how I was involved. Simply for the fact that I thought it was fun to talk about. Most of the people in that group were on the same page, but one of them went from having one ear in the conversation with the rest of their attention elsewhere to suddenly being interested. Eyes lit up, smile came to their face and they wanted to be my best friend (sorry, this sounds like horn tooting; please realize I at least aspire to not think too highly of myself). They suddenly sang my praises and flatteringly compared my looks to an actor I am never otherwise compared to. Later,this person liked things I posted on facebook, and commented on things in a rather schmoozy way. Had I never mentioned my involvement, this person would not have cared. They were only interested in what I could do for them.

                      To make this a little less pretentious, I want to acknowledge that this happens all over the place with people who hold "real" power.

                      This is not to say I think people should not be ambitious. Quite the contrary. Ambition though is exercised in your dedication to building your skillset. If it a conversation happens to result in work, then great, but that should not be your reason for talking to someone unless that context was implied from the beginning.

                      Originally posted by UnequalProductions View Post
                      If you want to have friends, join a book club in Des Moines.
                      I feel like you're trying to fight a battle against an enemy not present. I completely agree that if one does not like film, they should not be in the business. I am usually the one to say something similar. There are real, and there are exploitive people in film as there are everywhere. I am recognizing that I have become the kind of person I once observed as being inauthentic, and that I never wanted to become. I still want to be in the film industry, but I want to be a real person while doing so, and that's what I'm trying to figure out.
                      Last edited by shortfilmwriter; 10-27-2015, 05:27 PM. Reason: sentence structure and missing words

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Becoming a fake person?

                        I think you misspelled "adult person".

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Becoming a fake person?

                          If you don't want to be the person you're becoming, stop being that person.

                          I'm not being flippant, either. I work with people who are selfish, arrogant, negative, lazy, and down right mean as a snakes.

                          The fact of the matter is that you have to live in your essence. You have to know when you're not being true and make a course adjustment.

                          No one can do anything to help you accept offer advice. Consider the advice and chose a path and live in your essence.

                          You can't control other people. What they do or what they say.

                          Focus on what you can control-- your choices and your actions.

                          Live in the moment and most of all, be grateful-- there are people in the world who are starving to death and being murdered in civil wars.

                          This is something you can do-- take control of your life and the writing will follow.
                          "Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy b/c you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say." -- Edward Snowden

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Becoming a fake person?

                            Find a way to share your passion and knowledge (and not just about movies) with those who can't help your career. Teach a free class for beginnng screenwriters, get involved with a mentoring program, give free script feedback to newbies. You can still talk your game, but you can enjoy it for the personal interaction it is, people with a shared passion, instead of worrying how it can help you get ahead.
                            But still do those industry get-togethers. You need to take care of your career, as well. Besides, they also are looking for folks to share their passion with. Just don't let it drive your ego...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Becoming a fake person?

                              You think Hollywood is fake? Try being a librarian. They're all phony.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X