Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest 2013

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  • Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest 2013

    Thanks to all who submitted entries for this year's Valentine's Day contest!

    The 10 no make that 11 titles are:

    Bestiality
    You Had Me At "Hello"
    It Would Have Been Great
    Valentine's Days
    Bad Romance
    Buick
    Secret Admirer
    No Bunny
    London Underground
    She's The One
    Oysters

    Edit: the results thread is here.

    [SPOILER ALERT] Here are the authors' names for quick reference, whited out in case you don't want to know who wrote what before reading the entries:

    Bestiality - Rich Weems
    You Had Me At Hello - Jai Brandon
    It Would Have Been Great - Colin Holmes
    Valentine's Days - Rene C
    Bad Romance - polfilmblog
    Buick - Centos
    Secret Admirer - Mr. Earth
    No Bunny - sc111
    London Underground - Road Warrior
    She's The One - dpaterso
    Oysters - Umo


    Participants are encouraged to check their own entries for any laundering and reformatting errors (the software isn't perfect and neither am I! Each PDF seemed to have its unique little quirks!). These can be quickly edited, just PM me.

    Everyone is invited to read the entries and pick your 1st, 2nd and 3rd place favorites. PM these to me please, preferably in that order! Comments on the entries are also encouraged, and can be posted in the contest results thread once voting is done with. Tentative deadline for votes is next Friday (22nd).

    ...And please don't vote for your own entry, he added.
    Last edited by dpaterso; 02-23-2013, 01:52 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

    Code:
    BESTIALITY
    
    FADE IN:
    
    INT. APARTMENT - MAIN ROOM - AFTERNOON
    
    Thunder RUMBLES.
    
    Rain PATTERS onto the sill from an open window.    The screen
    has a tear in the bottom corner.
    
    Two rooms, including the bathroom.    Filthy and Spartan.
    
    A mattress on the floor takes up most of the space in the
    room.
    
    A litter box in one corner.
    
    JOHN lies on his back on the mattress, stares at a water
    stain on the ceiling. He's naked, a sheet twisted around
    his mid-section.
    
    GLENDA stares at John with her blue eyes.    She's a Siamese
    cat.
    
    [u](Other than where noted, we don't see any lip movements during
    any conversation; like it's all voiceover.)[/u]
    
                           GLENDA
               Penny for your thoughts?
    
    John stares at the ceiling.
    
    The cat regards John for another moment, jumps off and heads
    to the litter box.
    
    Glenda does her business.   Paws at the litter.
    
    John slowly gets up, shuffles over to the bathroom.    Sounds
    of urination.
    
    He comes back out, goes to the window.    Looks out at the
    rain.
    
    She jumps onto the window sill.   Rubs against his arm.     He
    ignores her.
    
                           GLENDA (CONT'D)
               We could curl up together.
    
    He presses his head against the glass.
    
    Her tail twitches. She jumps down, heads to the mattress,
    and curls up among the stained sheet and pillow.
    
    John stares into the alley below his window.
    
    EXT. ALLEY
    
    A DOG, wet and scraggly looking, pokes around the garbage
    cans in the alley.
    
    INT. APARTMENT - MAIN ROOM
    
    John watches.
    
                             JOHN
                     (whispers)
                 I've never had a dog before.
    
                                GLENDA
                 What's that?
    
                              JOHN
                 Nothing.   I'm going out.
    
                             GLENDA
                 But it's raining.
    
    John takes a couple steps over to a cracked and chipped four
    drawer dresser. He pulls clothes out of it, gets dressed.
    
    Heads to the door, opens it...
    
                             GLENDA (CONT'D)
                 When will you be back?
    
                             JOHN
                 In a little while.
    
    He crosses through the door...
    
                                GLENDA
                 I love you.
    
    And closes it.
    
    EXT. ALLEY
    
    It's a deluge.
    
    John enters the alley, searching...
    
    A SCRAPE behind him.
    
    He turns...Through the pouring rain and the dim light
    
    The snout of the dog sticks out of a garbage can.
    
    John smiles, approaches.
    
                          JOHN
                  (whispers)
              Hey, girl...c'mere, baby...
    
    The snout retreats.
    
                          JOHN (CONT'D)
                  (whispers)
              I've got something for you...
    
    He digs into a pocket, pulls out a piece of beef jerky.
    
                          JOHN (CONT'D)
                  (whispers)
              C'mon, girl...
    
    Eyes glitter inside the garbage can.
    
    John CLUCKS, gently shakes the beef jerky in front of him.
    
    The dog moves forward...
    
    John's eyes light up.
    
    Trembling, the dog emerges out of the garbage can.
    
    She's beautiful. Big brown eyes, a white band around her
    neck, and even as skinny as she is, hair plastered and clumped
    around her...beautiful.
    
    He holds out the beef jerky.
    
    She hungrily takes it, downs it in one swallow.    Licks her
    lips.
    
                          JOHN (CONT'D)
              Haven't seen you around her before.
              What's your name?
    
                          DOG
              I don't remember.
    
                          JOHN
              Dixie. Your name is Dixie. Do you
              believe in love at first sight, Dixie?
    
    They look into each other's eyes
    
    And embrace there in the rain.
    
    Above them, Glenda watches through the window.
    
    INT. APARTMENT - MAIN ROOM - LATER
    
    John enters the apartment.
    
    Glenda lies on the mattress, ignores him as he strips naked.
    
    He grabs a towel, dries himself before collapsing onto the
    mattress.
    
    She doesn't move.      Casually licks herself.
    
                             GLENDA
                 You were gone awhile.
    
    John stares at the water stain on the ceiling.
    
    She looks at him.
    
                             GLENDA (CONT'D)
                 You could've told me, you know.        I
                 would've understood.
    
                               JOHN
                 No.    No, you wouldn't.
    
    She puts a paw on him.
    
    Outside, the RUMBLE of thunder.
    
                               GLENDA
                 Why?
    
                             JOHN
                 I...I don't know.      What we had was
                 special, but...
    
                               GLENDA
                 But what?
    
                             JOHN
                 But now it's over.      It's not the
                 same.
    
    Her blue eyes betray nothing, and then
    
    She HOWLS!    HISSES!!    SPITS!!
    
    She scratches him and scratches him and he takes the scratches
    and the pain and he closes his eyes and tears squeeze out
    and lightning CRASHES and the thunder ROARS and his SCREAMS
    join into her SCREAMS and
    
    BLACK
    
    INT. APARTMENT - MAIN ROOM - EVENING
    
    John opens his eyes to the SOUND of rain hitting the window
    sill.
    
    He sits up in the semi-darkness. Scratches cover his arms,
    chest, and back. Blood stains the sheet and mattress.
    
    He looks around.
    
                             JOHN
              Glenda?
    
    No sign of her.
    
    Gets off the mattress, goes to the door.
    
    The chain is still on the door.
    
    Lightning flashes.
    
    The window screen is gone.
    
    He SCREAMS, races to the window.
    
    Rain lashes him as he cranes his head out the window.
    
    Lightning flashes...
    
    And he sees her in the alley, lying on the edge of a garbage
    can, belly up, back broken.
    
                             JOHN (CONT'D)
              Oh, God.     Oh, God...
    
    He staggers to his mattress in the dark.
    
    Sobs rack his body as the thunder BOOMS.
    
                                                    DISSOLVE TO:
    
    MORNING
    
    DRIP DRIP of rain pooling on the window sill.
    
    Sunlight streams through the open window.
    
    He opens his eyes.
    
                             JOHN
              Glenda.
    
    He sits up.
    
    Looks at the still open window.
    
    He hangs his head.
    
    EXT. ALLEY - MORNING
    
    The sun manages to find its way into the alley as John
    shuffles into it.
    
    He stops.   Stares at
    
    Glenda lies belly up, an upside down V on the edge of the
    garbage can. Her blue eyes open and staring at the sky.
    
    A pigeon picks at her carcass.
    
    John runs forward, shoos the pigeon away.
    
    He ignores the flies and cradles her body in his arms.      Holds
    her tight.
    
    INT./EXT. BUS
    
    John sits in the back of the bus holding a shoebox. He lifts
    the lid, shows it to the RATTY LOOKING GUY sitting next to
    him.
    
                            JOHN
                This is my love.   She killed herself
                because of me.
    
    The Ratty Looking Guy stares straight ahead. He rocks back
    and forth ever so slightly, MUTTERS to himself.
    
    Tears drip down John's cheeks.
    
                            JOHN (CONT'D)
                Do you know what love is? Do you
                know how love and lack of love are
                intertwined? Do you!?
    
    Ratty rocks back and forth.
    
    John gazes down at his love in a shoebox.
    
                            JOHN (CONT'D)
                Our love was not meant to be.
    
    EXT. VETERINARIAN'S SCHOOL - DAY
    
    John stands just outside the entrance.      Cash in his hand
    instead of the shoebox.
    
    He's furious.
    
                            JOHN
                Five dollars!? Is that all our love
                was worth??
    
    Debates on going back in.
    
    Shoves the money deep into a pocket, stalks off.
    
    INT. PET STORE - DAY
    
    John wanders through the aisles, comes to the shelves of
    leashes and collars.
    
    Grabs a leash and collar, slips it into his pocket when no
    one's looking.
    
    Takes a package of dog beef jerky as he makes his way to the
    CASHIER.
    
    She doesn't even look at him as she scans the beef jerky.
    
                            JOHN
                They gave me five dollars for my
                love. Five dollars...who can put a
                price on love? A doctor? You?
    
    He hands her the cash.   The Cashier is an automaton; barely
    notices him.
    
                            JOHN (CONT'D)
                Yes, you're right. I have to move
                on. She would have wanted it that
                way.
    
    She hands him his change.   Immediately goes to the person
    behind him.
    
    He exits.
    
    EXT. ALLEY - DAY
    
    He holds out the doggy treat.
    
                            JOHN
                Here you go, girl.
    
    Dixie wags her tail, rushes forward.    Wolfs down the beef
    jerky.
    
    John crouches down next to her, hugs and pets her.
    
                            JOHN (CONT'D)
                Do you know what today is, Dixie?
    
    She looks at him.
    
                            JOHN (CONT'D)
                It's Valentine's Day.
    
                             DIXIE
              What's that?
    
                          JOHN
              A day for lovers.
    
                          DIXIE
              A day just for us?
    
                          JOHN
              I wouldn't lie to you.
    
                          DIXIE
              What about her?
    
                             JOHN
              She's gone.
    
    She licks his face.
    
                             DIXIE
              I love you.
    
                          JOHN
              I know, baby. I love you, too.
    
    He pulls out the collar and leash from his pocket.
    
    She takes a step back.
    
                          JOHN (CONT'D)
              Just until we get home. Promise.
    
    She allows herself to be collared.   He attaches the leash.
    
    They kiss and lick each other.
    
    Hugs her once more and he leads her out of the alley into
    the sunlight.
    
    They almost run into a GUY.
    
    John stops.
    
    The Guy has a COCKATOO on his shoulder.
    
    John stares.
    
                             DOG
              What?
    
                             JOHN
              Nothing.
    
    They continue on, Dixie scampering ahead.
    
    John glances back. Sees the Cockatoo and its beautiful
    plumage disappear around the corner.
    
                         JOHN (CONT'D)
             I've never had a bird before.
    
    
                         END

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

      Code:
      YOU HAD ME AT "HELLO."
      
      FADE IN:
      
      INT. AIRPORT - NIGHT
      
      JERRY sprints through an empty airport, determination etched
      across his face.
      
      
      INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME
      
      A GROUP OF WOMEN sit around gossiping, DOROTHY among them.
      
                           SMART-ASS
                 Well the way I see it, the problem
                 is they all think the same. And
                 they use the same head to think
                 with.
      
                           MS. OBSERVANT
                 That's profound, Alice.
      
                           ONE-LINER
                 MEN ARE DOGS!
      
                           KNOW-IT-ALL
                 The neural pathways of the penis
                 inhibit a period of sustained,
                 intellectual thought. Henceforth,
                 it's hard for men to conceptualize
                 the consequences of their actions.
      
                           LUSTY
                 I'm sorry, guys, but this is kinda
                 off topic. Anyone else hate these
                 holidays? Makes me feel even more
                 divorced. And it only gets harder--
      
                           SMART-ASS
                 Divorced?! Patty, you've never had
                 a man in your life!
      
      
      EXT. HOUSE - SAME
      
      Jerry exits a taxi, flowers and heart-shaped box in hand. He
      looks to the house.
      
                           TAXI DRIVER (O.S.)
                 Good luck, man.
      
                          JERRY
                You're gonna wait, right?
      
                          TAXI DRIVER
                Homie, whether you strike out, or
                knock it out, my time is money. So
                I ain't goin' nowhere til I'm paid.
                Ain't got no valentine waitin'.
      
      Jerry nods, returns his attention to the house. Takes a deep
      breath.
      
      
      INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME
      
      Dorothy interrupts the chatter...
      
                          DOROTHY
                I have a confession to make. I've
                sat here listening to you all tell
                your sob stories and you know what?
                None of you know what the hell
                you're talking about.
      
      Dorothy gets up, dishes in hand, makes her way to the
      kitchen...
      
                          DOROTHY (CONT'D)
                Especially you, Francine!
                Seriously, "neural pathways of the
                penis?" What the freak does that
                even mean?!
      
                          MS. OBSERVANT
                Sounds like someone needs to get
                laid...
      
                          DOROTHY
                I agree.
                    (looks to Lusty)
                You've gone forty years without a
                man, yet continue to go on and on
                about a divorce that never
                happened? You've got to get married
                first, Patty!
      
                          MS. OBSERVANT
                Actually, I was talking about--
      
                          DOROTHY
                I'll be in the kitchen. Come and
                get me when this nonsense stops.
      
      The chatter starts again, drowning the room in white noise.
      Dorothy bumps into a lamp, drops dishes on the floor.
      
                             DOROTHY (CONT'D)
                   **it!
      
      The front door opens, Jerry steps in unnoticed.
      
                             JERRY
                   Hello?
      
      The women continue to gossip. He makes his way through the
      living room...
      
                             JERRY (CONT'D)
                   Hello?!
      
      The chatter fades. All eyes look to the new guest.
      
                             JERRY (CONT'D)
                   I'm looking for my wife.
      
      Dorothy rises from behind the lamp shade, eyes fixed on
      Jerry. Starts to move to the kitchen...
      
                             JERRY (CONT'D)
                   Wait!
      
      She stops.
      
                             JERRY (CONT'D)
                   Okay. Just... okay.
      
      The couch potatoettes look to each other with contemptuous
      eyes, a clear disdain for Jerry.
      
                             JERRY (CONT'D)
                   This is gonna happen now. Right
                   here. This is where it has to
                   happen.
      
      Jerry sets the flowers and heart-shaped box on a table, his
      gaze never leaving Dorothy.
      
                             JERRY (CONT'D)
                   I'm not letting you get rid of me.
                   How about that? Ha!
      
      More bug-eyed glances.
      
                             JERRY (CONT'D)
                   I'm normally good at these
                   speeches. Usually my specialty,
                   but...
      
      Jerry drops his head, finds courage at the pit of his
      stomach...
      
                           JERRY (CONT'D)
                Tonight our little project, our
                company... had a very big night. A
                very, very, big night.
                    (beat)
                But it wasn't complete. It wasn't
                nearly close to being in the same
                vicinity of complete, because I
                couldn't share it with you.
                    (beat)
                I couldn't hear your voice, your
                laughter, that funny little thing
                you do with your teeth... I miss my
                wife.
      
      Dorothy scrutinizes Jerry with disapproving eyes.
      
                           JERRY (CONT'D)
                I miss her and I want her back. No,
                I need her back. You're my other
                half, Dottie. My one and only
                valentine.
                    (beat)
                You complete me.
      
      A long pause. The women swivel their heads back and forth, a
      live tennis match in progress.
      
                          LUSTY
                Well I don't know what she's going
                to say, but babe, you had me at
                "hello!"
      
      Jerry looks to the rotund woman...
      
                             JERRY
                I'm sorry?
      
                          LUSTY
                Don't be. You did it for me, babe.
      
                          ONE-LINER
                MEN ARE DOGS!
      
      Chatter crescendos...
      
                          JERRY
                Ladies! Ladies! Can I have a moment
                with my wife?! Please?
      
                          KNOW-IT-ALL
                Sir, you're incapable of processing
                the pain for which you caused this
                woman. Dorothy deserves much more
                than your fickle phallus can offer.
                As such, I think it's in the
                interest of both parties--
      
                          DOROTHY
                STOP! Just... stop!
      
      The talking heads quiet once more. All eyes shift to Dorothy;
      this is her moment. She looks to Jerry...
      
                          DOROTHY (CONT'D)
                You're an ***hole.
      
                          JERRY
                I know, Dottie. I'm an ass and I'm
                gonna do everythin--
      
                          DOROTHY
                Shut up, Jerry! Let me say what I
                have to say.
      
                          JERRY
                Okay, that's fair. Go ahead, I'm
                sorry.
      
                           DOROTHY
                You're an ***hole... And for as big
                of a jerk as you are, it hurts to
                admit that I still love you.
                    (beat)
                I don't want to go on without you,
                Jerry. I don't. But things need to
                change. Oh boy, do they need to
                change. From now on--
      
                          JERRY
                I can change, Dottie. I'll change
                it all, I swear. This marriage is
                gonna--
      
                             MS. OBSERVANT/KNOW-IT-ALL/SMART-ASS
                SHUUUT UP!
      
                          MS. OBSERVANT
                Let the girl speak! Damn!
      
      All heads swivel back to Dorothy. She looks to Jerry once
      more, condemnation clouds her eyes.
      
                           DOROTHY
                I see your listening skills remain
                top notch.
                    (beat)
                You know, I don't think you've
                heard anything I've said. This is
                one of those things, Jerry. You
                have to stop--
      
                          JERRY
                I'm sorry, Dottie. Please, say your
                piece. I'm just gonna shut up and
                listen now. Truly sorry.
      
                          DOROTHY
                Yes, you are. And your sorry ass
                can get the **ck out of my house!
                **CK YOU, JERRY!
      
      Dorothy storms off to the kitchen.
      
      The women look to Jerry, their bug eyes burn a hole through
      his soul. Awkward.
      
                          LUSTY
                So... Your place, or mine?
      
      The cabbie peeks through the doorway...
      
                            TAXI DRIVER
                Yo, `cuz?
      
      He finds Jerry.
      
                          TAXI DRIVER (CONT'D)
                What's the word? Rollin' out, or
                what?
      
      Jerry nods, looks to Lusty...
      
                          JERRY
                Get your coat.
      
      She jumps up happily.
      
                          MS. OBSERVANT
                Both of you ought to be shamed!
                Shamed!
      
                          TAXI DRIVER
                Don't hate, lady.
      
                          SMART-ASS
                Someone's getting action tonight!
      
                          KNOW-IT-ALL
                That's not an appropriate take on
                this situation, Alice. But in
                weighing the unique circumstances
                regarding this case, it is
                incumbent upon me to say - for
                Patty's sake - "finally."
      
                          LUSTY
                Happy "V Day," girls!
      
      Jerry and Lusty exit with the cabbie.
      
                             ONE-LINER
                DOG!
      
      
      EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
      
      The taxi pulls away from the house. Shrinks, as it travels up
      the road...
      
                           LUSTY (O.S.)
                Babe, we go together like ham and
                cheese. Rice and beans. Peanut
                butter and goddamn jelly!
                    (beat)
                You complete me.
      
                          TAXI DRIVER (O.S.)
                Damn, that's some philosophical
                **it right there!
      
      (O.S.) Jerry GROANS.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

        Code:
        IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT
        
        FADE IN
        
        Cash. Lots of it. The machine counts and sorts. Feminine
        hands wrap the notes into packets and scribble on the
        wrappers. The packets are added to a growing stack.
        
        
        INT. FIRST NATIONAL BANK BRANCH - DAY
        
        CINDY BRODY, 24, cute, blows her auburn hair out of her
        eyes and positions the last of the packets. Taps the keys
        of her computer and turns to MRS. ANTONIO, 50, short,
        fat, grumpy and waiting at the teller window. Cindy hands
        her the receipt.
        
                                CINDY
                  Here, you are Mrs. Antonio.
                  Anything else I can do for you
                  today?
        
        The woman just looks at her. Takes her receipt and empty
        cash bag. Trundles to the exit.
        
                                CINDY
                  Have a nice day!
        
        The bank branch is empty. Cindy turns to her co-worker
        JANINE EVANS a 30-something black woman with a bad case
        of bank teller's butt.
        
                                JANINE
                  Aren't you just too happy.
        
                                CINDY
                  It's Thursday. He comes in on
                  Thursday.
        
                                 JANINE
                  Oh, we know.
        
        She shares a look with the branch manager RICK CERVANTES,
        35, chubby, trying to fight his way up the bank's
        management ladder. He checks the wall clock.
        
                                RICK
                  He's late, isn't he?
        
        Cindy notices the silver BMW pull up.
        
                                CINDY
                  Nope. Right on time.
        
        Cindy fidgets. Rearranges the pens in the cup. Blows her
        hair out of her eyes. Again.
        
        BROOKS RICHARDSON crosses the parking lot. He looks all
        of his 27 years of privilege. Open collar under the
        expensive sportcoat. Italian shoes. Sunglasses that cost
        more than Cindy's car.
        
        Then he's there. Right in front of her. The whitest smile
        money can buy.
        
                                BROOKS
                  Hi.
        
                                CINDY
                  Hi.
        
        Eyes meet. Angels sing. Rick clears his throat.
        
                                CINDY
                  Uhm. How can I help you today?
        
                                BROOKS
                  I seem to have forgotten a deposit
                  slip.
        
                                RICK
                  Right over there at the counter.
        
                                CINDY
                  I have some right here!
        
        Too excited. She slides a slip across the counter. Finger
        tips touch. Were those actual sparks? Brooks pulls a Mont
        Blanc and the fountain pen scrawls on the form. Slides it
        and a check across.
        
                                CINDY
                  How would you like the cash back?
                  Twenties?
        
                                BROOKS
                  Fifties and your phone number?
        
        The smile goes to 1500 watts. Cindy glances at Rick. He's
        watching like a hawk.
        
                                CINDY
                  I'm sorry, sir. It's against bank
                  policy...
        
        Rick smiles triumphantly.
        
                                CINDY
                  ...for me to tell you it's 714-555-
                  3720.
        
        Brooks smiles. Winks at Rick.
        
                                BROOKS
                  Got it. How about dinner next
                  Thursday?
        
                                CINDY
                  That's Valentines.
        
                                  BROOKS
                  Yeah. I know.
        
        Swoon.
        
        INT. BANK - VALENTINES DAY
        
        Cindy wears a pink blouse and an excited, hopeful grin.
        The bank displays a half-hearted attempt at Valentine's
        decorations, but Cindy's station is festooned with pink
        and red hearts, bunting and balloons.
        
        She slides the receipt and a heart shaped lollipop across
        the counter to Mrs. Antonio with a smile.
        
                                CINDY
                  Happy Valentines Day, Mrs.
                  Antonio!
        
        The old woman looks at the sucker.
        
                                  MRS. ANTONIO
                  I'm diabetic.
        
        She trundles off. Leaving the candy. The door is opened
        for her. It's Brooks. Again with the smile. Cindy frowns.
        Checks the wall clock.
        
                                CINDY
                  You're early...
        
                                BROOKS
                  Couldn't wait to see you.
        
        Rick walks through behind Cindy, rolling his eyes.
        
                                CINDY
                  How can I help --
        
        The doors explode in. TWO MEN in black ski masks. Long
        dark coats come open. Shotguns. The police report will
        say that both are medium build. Caucasian. One with a
        slight limp. The other does all the yelling.
        
                                ROBBER
                       (yelling)
                  EVERYBODY! Get down! Now.
        
        Hands go up instantly. The excited Robber moves to
        Brooks.
        
                                ROBBER
                  I said DOWN! Move it pretty boy.
        
        Brooks turns. Eyes go wide. He thinks a beat. If he could
        just -- THUNK! The butt of the gun in his gut. Brooks
        doubles over. Crumples to the floor. Cindy SCREAMS.
        
                                ROBBER
                  SHUT UP!
        
        The gun barrel levels to her wide eyes. She catches her
        breath.
        
        Rick takes a baby step toward the silent alarm switch.
        
        The BLAST of the gunshot freezes him. Everyone looks to
        the Limping Robber. He's blown the security camera off
        the wall. Wires dangle from the smoking hole.
        
        The Yelling Robber points his weapon at Rick.
        
                                ROBBER
                  That's you if you aren't on the
                  ground right ****ING NOW!
        
        Rick hits the floor faster than the camera.
        
        The gun levels on Cindy. A canvas laundry bag is shoved
        across to counter.
        
                                ROBBER
                  Fill that. Now.
        
        She scrapes Mrs Antonio's stack of cash into the bag.
        Hesitates a second.
        
                                ROBBER
                  Don't even think about the dye
                  pack.
        
        He looks around the empty lobby. Points to the door at
        the end of the teller cage.
        
                                ROBBER
                  Open it.
        
        He shadows Cindy to the door. She steps over Janine.
        Opens the door. He grabs her arm.
        
                                ROBBER
                  Give me hers - Hurry.
        
        Cindy opens the cash drawer. Fills the bag. She's shaking
        like a leaf.
        
        IN THE LOBBY the Limping Robber approaches Brooks. Nudges
        him with the shotgun.
        
                                  LIMPING ROBBER
                  Get up.
        
        Brooks stands uneasily.
        
                                LIMPING ROBBER
                  You're driving.
        
                                BROOKS
                  Look, there's no need for --
        
        The shotgun argues otherwise. It moves to his midsection.
        
                                LIMPING ROBBER
                  You. Are. Driving.
        
        Cindy is marched into the lobby. Hands on her head.
        Fighting tears. The other shotgun in her back.
        
                                ROBBER
                  She's coming with us.
        
        Brooks glares at the robber.
        
                                BROOKS
                  You've got me. You don't need her.
        
        The shotgun waves his direction. The robber admires
        Cindy.
        
                                  ROBBER
                  I like her.
        
        Brooks' eyes are daggers.
        
                                  ROBBER
                  Move it.
        
        The Limping Robber herds them to the door.
        
        BEHIND THE COUNTER Janine and Rick are on the ground.
        
        A shout from the lobby.
        
                                ROBBER
                  ANYBODY moves in the next five
                  minutes, I will blow her head
                  clean off.
        
        Janine looks to Rick. A wordless debate. She motions him
        to the silent alarm. Rick shakes his head "NO."
        
        She's adamant. Finally she gives up on him. Gets to her
        knees. Starts for the alarm button.
        
                                ROBBER
                  I said five minutes.
        
        He's at the end of the counter. Janine's eyes go wide.
        The Robber points his finger at her as a pistol.
        
                                  ROBBER
                  Boom.
        
        Janine lowers herself back to the floor. The robber is
        gone. Rick's expression says he told her so.
        
        
        INT. BMW - DAY
        
        The robbers sit in the back seats, hidden from traffic by
        the dark window tint. Brooks drives. Cindy is stoic but
        scared in the passenger seat.
        
                                BROOKS
                  OK, you're out. Let her go. You
                  don't need her.
        
        Behind him the Yelling Robber nudges the seat back with
        the gun.
        
                                ROBBER
                  You need to remember the only
                  thing between her and this 12
                  gauge is a little Corinthian
                  leather.
        
        Brooks glares into the mirror. Cindy gives him a worried
        glance.
        
                                ROBBER
                  Blindfold her. Do her hands.
        
        Now she's really scared. She holds her hands up. The
        Limping Robber wraps a ziptie around them. Then produces
        a black hood.
        
        CINDY'S POV - The hood comes down and the world goes
        black.
        
        OVER BLACK. The brakes squeal. A turn signal clicks. The
        car accelerates. Brakes squeal again. He should fix that.
        
                                   ROBBER (V.O.)
                     Over there.
        
        Brakes. The engine is shut off.
        
                                   BROOKS
                     Let her go. She is just --
        
                                   ROBBER
                     Shut the hell up.
        
                                   THE LIMPING ROBBER
                     Get out of the car.
        
        TIGHT ON THE BLACK HOOD. The Robber leans in and
        whispers.
        
                                   ROBBER
                     I'm putting a web cam on the dash.
                     It goes to my cellphone. Count
                     backwards from one hundred. You
                     move before zero and pretty boy
                     here won't be quite so pretty
                     anymore.
        
        BLACKNESS again.
        
        Three doors open and close.
        
                                   ROBBER
                     I can just do her here and be done
                     with it.
        
                                   BROOKS
                     If you hurt her...
        
                                   ROBBER
                     What? You'll shoot me in the foot?
        
        Nearby, three doors open and close. Another engine starts
        and the other car pulls away.
        
        Blackness.
        
                                   CINDY
                     Ninety nine... Ninety eight...
                     Ninety seven...
        
        
        INT. BMW - DAY
        
        Cindy sits in the car. Hooded.
        
                                CINDY
                  ... four, three, two... one.
        
        Her ziptied hands slowly move from her lap to the hood.
        She lifts it. Tentatively. Peeks out.
        
        The far edge of a supermarket parking lot. There is no
        web cam on the dash.
        
        ON THE DRIVER'S SEAT - a red envelope. She opens the
        Valentine. Across the red heart, a fountain pen has
        scrawled -
        
        "Sorry about this. It would have been great!"
        
                                                         FADE OUT

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

          Code:
          VALENTINE'S DAYS
          
          FADE IN:
          
          
          EXT. CEMETERY - SAN FRANCISCO - DAY
          
          Long rows of headstones on a hill of well-manicured
          grass.
          
          Loretta (60s), dressed warmly in bright colors, leans
          casually against one of the headstones, sipping wine and
          looking out at the San Francisco Bay.
          
                                     REGINALD (O.S.)
                     Remarkable.
          
          Loretta looks around to see REGINALD (50s), in a gray
          overcoat and hat, strolling slowly towards her.
          
                                   REGINALD (CONT'D)
                     There's so much black around here,
                     it's nice to see some color.
          
          Loretta smiles politely at him. On the headstone behind
          her:
          
                            PAUL REDFIELD 1951-1985
          
          Reginald gestures towards the headstone.
          
                                     REGINALD (CONT'D)
                     Your husband?
          
                                   LORETTA
                     Never married.
          
          They stand in silence for a moment.
          
                                   REGINALD
                     Lovely day for Valentine's, isn't
                     it?
          
                                   LORETTA
                          (brightens)
                     I met Paul on Valentine's Day. In
                     a coffee shop, in `67. I was
                     nineteen.
          
          
          INT. COFFEE SHOP - SAN FRANCISCO - 1967 - MORNING
          
          Young Loretta, 19, sits with TWO GIRLFRIENDS, giggling.
          PAUL (23), handsome, playful, serves them their coffee
          orders.
          
          He places a cappuccino in front of Young Loretta. She
          looks at it, confused.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    He mixed up my order. I didn't
                    really care, but he insisted on
                    making it up to me.
          
          Paul, waving away her protests, hurries away with her
          cup.
          
          
          EXT. CEMETERY - PRESENT - DAY
          
          Reginald leans on the headstone next to Loretta.
          
                                  REGINALD
                    Was that his way of asking you
                    out?
          
          Loretta smiles warmly.
          
                                  LORETTA
                    That was his way of asking
                    everyone out.
          
          
          EXT. STREETCAR - SAN FRANCISCO - 1967 - SUNSET
          
          A streetcar rumbles along a street at the top of a steep
          hill. Paul and Young Loretta stand on the doorway
          platform, leaning from a pole.
          
          Paul leans in and kisses Young Loretta.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    Our first kiss was on a streetcar
                    overlooking the Bay.
          
          
          INT. YOUNG LORETTA'S APARTMENT - SAN FRANCISCO - 1967 -
          NIGHT
          
          A simple apartment filled with free furniture and hand-me-
          downs.
          
          Young Loretta, Paul, and SIX HIPPIES smoke hash in a lazy
          circle. Two of the hippies play guitar.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    That was the Summer of Love, when
                    the world came to San Francisco.
                    We were completely caught up in it
                    all. In each other.
          
                                                         SMASH CUT TO:
          
          
          INT. YOUNG LORETTA'S APARTMENT - SAN FRANCISCO - 1967 -
          MORNING
          
          Young Loretta opens an envelope at her shabby kitchen
          table. On the TV in the BG, images of President Johnson
          and the Vietnam War.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    Then my younger brother turned
                    eighteen and was sent to Vietnam.
          
          Young Loretta holds a typed letter. Government
          letterhead. An official-looking seal. Her composure
          collapses as she reads.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    He died less than a month later. A
                    training accident.
          
          
          EXT. CEMETERY - SAN FRANCISCO - PRESENT - DAY
          
                                  REGINALD
                    My sincere condolences.
          
          Loretta doesn't seem to hear, lost in the memory.
          
                                  LORETTA
                    It hit me pretty hard.
          
          INT. YOUNG LORETTA'S APARTMENT - SAN FRANCISCO - 1967 -
          NIGHT
          
          Young Loretta, strung out on the floor, a total mess.
          Drug paraphernalia littered around her.
          
          Paul comes through the door, regards the scene with calm
          rage.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    I tried to hide under a rock.
                    Hashish.
          
          Paul checks her breathing. Pulls her eyelid back. Young
          Loretta begins to vomit so he turns her on her side.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    Paul tried to help, but there
                    wasn't much he could do. The last
                    straw came when I spent our rent
                    on drugs.
          
          LATER
          
          Paul puts on a hat, picks up a suitcase. Looks over Young
          Loretta curled in the fetal position on the floor.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    It broke his heart to leave me,
                    but he couldn't watch me self-
                    destruct.
          
          Paul walks out the door, closes it behind him.
          
          
          EXT. CEMETERY - SAN FRANCISCO - PRESENT - DAY
          
          Loretta has a far-away look in her eyes.
          
                                  LORETTA
                         (quiet)
                    I barely knew he'd left.
          
          Reginald shuffles his feet uncomfortably.
          
                                  LORETTA (CONT'D)
                    It took a few years for me to
                    climb out of that hole. Then I
                    went looking for him. I still
                    loved him.
          
          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - 1973 - DAY
          
          A private hospital room. Paul lies on the bed, hooked up
          to machines to help him breathe.
          
          Young Loretta, now 25, enters hesitantly. Tears in her
          eyes when she sees him.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    I found him in a hospital in New
                    York, in a coma. A car accident.
          
                                                          JUMP CUT TO:
          
          
          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - 1973 - EVENING
          
          Young Loretta reads a newspaper to the sleeping Paul.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    They didn't know if he'd ever wake
                    up. For years I visited him, read
                    to him, talked to him.
          
                                                         JUMP CUT TO:
          
          
          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - 1976 - MORNING
          
          Young Loretta places a Valentine's Day card on the night
          stand next to Paul.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    Every Valentine's Day I'd bring a
                    card. It was our day. I wanted him
                    to know I remembered.
          
          
          INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - 1979 - DAY
          
          Young Loretta, now 33, wearing a waitress outfit. She
          strokes Paul's hair lovingly.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    But I never kissed him. I wanted
                    to, but I didn't know if he still
                    loved me.
          
          
          INT. HOSPITAL NURSE'S STATION - LATER
          
          Young Loretta leaves Paul's hospital room, passing a
          nurse's station. Five nurses stand around a television.
          On the screen is a news report about a large anti-nuclear
          demonstration in Times Square.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    Then came the anti-nuclear
                    protests and the country was in
                    turmoil again.
          
          
          EXT. TIMES SQUARE - 1979 - DAY
          
          A crowd of protestors, large and unruly, faces a double-
          row of New York Police officers in full riot gear.
          
          Loretta stands in the crowd holding a sign: NO NUKES!
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    I got swept up in that, too.
                    Things really got heated after the
                    Three Mile Island accident.
          
          The crowd rushes forward, crashes against the line of
          police. The officers club protestors with batons.
          
          Loretta wrestles away a baton and raises it--
          
                                                         SMASH CUT TO:
          
          
          EXT. CEMETERY - SAN FRANCISCO - PRESENT - DAY
          
          An ambiguous smile on Loretta's lips.
          
                                  LORETTA
                    I was arrested. They gave me seven
                    years.
          
                                  REGINALD
                    Seven? What did you do?
          
                                  LORETTA
                    Aggravated assault on a police
                    officer.
          
                                    REGINALD
                    You--? Oh my.
          
                                  LORETTA
                    I was angry. And, as a violent
                    offender, they put me in a maximum
                    security prison.
          
          Loretta strokes the grass beside her.
          
                                  LORETTA (CONT'D)
                    I missed Paul terribly. Missed
                    seeing him in the hospital.
          
          INT. PRISON VISITOR ROOM - 1982 - DAY
          
          Booths with seats on either side, separated by thick
          glass. Black telephones to let prisoners speak with their
          visitors.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    For two years I dreamed of him
                    lying in that bed.
          
          A guard escorts Young Loretta along the occupied booths.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    Imagine my surprise when he came
                    to visit me.
          
          Young Loretta comes to an empty chair. Across from her,
          through the glass, sits Paul. She stops short, caught in
          conflicting emotions.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    Eight years in a coma, and then he
                    just woke up.
          
          Paul picks up the telephone and gives Young Loretta a
          questioning look.
          
          Young Loretta leaps for the phone, clutches it to her
          ear.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    He told me he couldn't stop
                    thinking about me. All I could
                    think of was how good it was to
                    hear his voice again.
          
                                                         JUMP CUT TO:
          
          
          INT. PRISON VISITOR ROOM - 1985
          
          Paul in different clothes, different hair style. Young
          Loretta looks the same.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    He visited me often and we talked
                    and talked, always separated by
                    glass.
          
          Paul holds his hand up to the glass. Young Loretta places
          her own against his.
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    But we were together. And then,
                    one day...
          
                                                         JUMP CUT TO:
          
          
          INT. PRISON VISITOR ROOM - 1985
          
          Young Loretta argues with a guard. The guard looks at his
          clipboard, shakes his head.
          
                                  LORETTA (V.O.)
                    ...he stopped coming.
          
          
          EXT. CEMETERY - SAN FRANCISCO - PRESENT - DAY
          
          Loretta looks off into the distance.
          
                                  REGINALD
                    Was it someone else?
          
                                  LORETTA
                    I drove myself nuts wondering just
                    that. I imagined the worst things.
                    Someone prettier. Someone younger.
          
          Loretta drains her glass. Takes a deep breath, collects
          herself.
          
                                  LORETTA (CONT'D)
                    As soon as I got out I came
                    looking for him. I deserved an
                    explanation.
          
          She touches the headstone, runs her fingers over Paul's
          name.
          
                                  LORETTA (CONT'D)
                    I found it, here. A brain
                    aneurism.
          
          Reginald gives her a sorrowful look, his heart breaking
          for her.
          
                                  LORETTA (CONT'D)
                    I was relieved!
                         (beat)
                    I'm ashamed to say it, but I was.
          
          Loretta pulls a Valentine's Day card from her purse and
          holds it to her.
          
                                  LORETTA (CONT'D)
                    I've been coming here every year
                    since. I talk to him, read him the
                    news, or a book.
                         (beat)
                    It's not much different from when
                    he was in a coma.
          
                                  REGINALD
                    Did you ever love again?
          
          Loretta looks aghast.
          
                                  LORETTA
                    Ever love--? I never stopped. He's
                    the love of my life.
          
          They stand in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
          
                                  REGINALD
                    May I interest you in a cup of
                    coffee?
          
          Loretta smiles at him but shakes her head.
          
                                  LORETTA
                    That's very kind, but I'd like to
                    get back to my date now.
          
          Reginald smiles, his face sad.
          
                                  REGINALD
                    Happy Valentine's Day.
          
                                  LORETTA
                    Yes, it is. Thank you.
          
          He walks back the way he came as she refills her glass
          and stares out over the Bay.
          
                                                          FADE OUT.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

            Code:
            BAD ROMANCE
            
            
            Open bright, ethereal, dreamlike... The MUSIC of love...
            DARLA (18) in a dress, lit up, enraptured, slomo...
            
            INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
            
            Still dreamy, still slow, CRAIG (20s) steps in through the
            front door. They see each other, gazing into eyes. Closer
            together, in the empty restaurant (floating toward each
            other). Breeze in Darla's hair, they each look like
            fashion models on a collision course...
            
            Stopping, Darla faces Craig, his hand behind his back...
            She's curious, yet shy. He presents a gift, a BABY
            KITTEN, so cute... Darla's face, and she takes the kitten,
            up to her face, over to his eyes...
            
            BAM - REALITY
            
            Craig drops roughly down in a booth.    Darla in waitress
            uniform, stalks closer to him.    He's texting angrily,
            ignoring everyone.
            
                                        PHONE TEXT
                            Bitch, I slept with stacy
                            cause your fat ass waznt
                            around bitch.    So what?
            
            Darla stands there, flustered with her note pad.
            
                                        DARLA
                            Hi!    I'm Darla.    I'll be
                            your waitress today.
            
                                        CRAIG
                            Ah, yeah, all right cool.
            
            He ogles her up and down.   Craig licks his lips, looks up
            into Darla's eyes.
            
                                       CRAIG
                           You're new here ain't ya?
            
                                       DARLA
                           Ha ha, yeah, it's my first
                           week.
            
            His PHONE calls out, but he silences it quickly. Darla's
            co-worker ZOE (20s) watches the exchange in the background
            as she works.
            
                                       CRAIG
                           So like, what's your name
                           again?
            
                                          DARLA
                           I'm Darla.
            
                                       CRAIG
                           You eighteen?
            
                                          DARLA
                           Uh huh.
            
                                          CRAIG
                           Huh. Virgin?
            
                                         DARLA
                           Ver?      Excuse me?
            
                                       CRAIG
                           No, no, nuthin!    So what's
                           good here on the menu,
                           Darla?
            
                                         DARLA
                           Oh!      Well I like the Cobb
                           salad.
            
                                        CRAIG
                           Oh screw that rabbit food.
                           That's for chicks.    Gimme
                           a double-bacon cheeseburger,
                           extra bacon, and more bacon
                           on the side.
            
                                          DARLA
                           Okay.
            
                                       CRAIG
                           Well you're just a sweet
                           little piece a ass ain't ya?
            
                                          DARLA
                           Me?      Uh?
            
                                       CRAIG
                           Go on, get my food.       I
                           ain't got all day.
            
            He whips out his phone, returns to angry texting.
            
                                          DARLA
                           Okay.
            
            She scurries off, but he takes a good look at the back
            side scurrying.
            
                                         CRAIG
                           Mmmm.      I am hungry.
            
            KITCHEN
            
            Darla places the order, and Zoe enters behind her.
            
                                        DARLA
                            Oh my God, did you see that
                            guy?
            
                                         ZOE
                            Yeah.     I saw him.
            
                                        DARLA
                            Doesn't he look like
                            (celeb)?
            
                                         ZOE
                            Uhm.
            
                                        DARLA
                            How do I look?
            
            Darla straightens her uniform, plays with hair.
            
                                         ZOE
                            Dee?     Serious?    That
                            guy?     That guy's a royal
                            scumbag.
            
            CRAIG'S TABLE
            
            Big sloppy double bacon chomp, chewing while talking...
            
                                        CRAIG
                            Yo, you guys got beer?
            
                                         DARLA
                            No.     I'm sorry.
            
                                         CRAIG
                            Hey, you know, you got a hot
                            little body.
            
                                         DARLA
                            Thank you.
            
                                       CRAIG
                           I'm just buzzed looking at
                           you.
            
                                       DARLA
                           That's sweet.
            
                                       CRAIG
                           You're sweet.
            
                                       DARLA
                           Can, can I get you anything
                           else?
            
                                       CRAIG
                           Whole lotta things I could
                           think of.
            
            His phone chirps out again.      Grabs it.
            
                                          CRAIG
                           Dammit!
            
            Slams his fist down LOUDLY,
            
                                       CRAIG
                           God damned bitch.      You
                           know?
            
                                       DARLA
                           I'll give you some privacy.
            
            Darla scoots away, almost running into Zoe.
            
                                       CRAIG
                           (into phone) What?   I'm
                           trying to eat my lunch,
                           huh?  I told you go to
                           hell.  Yeah...  Oh, you're
                           sad.  Like I give a rat's
                           left testicle.  You're
                           feeling terrible.  Boo
                           hoo. What?  You're gonna
                           kill yourself?  Ha ha.
                           Yeah I'd love to see that!
                           Do it!  Do it!  How you
                           gonna do it?  ...Skank!
            
            LADIES BATHROOM
            
            Zoe and Darla freshen up.
            
                                          ZOE
                              Honey, what's it like your
                              first day?
            
                                            DARLA
                              Third.
            
                                          ZOE
                              Haven't you had any
                              boyfriends before?
            
            Darla's eyes drop.         Fixes lip gloss.
            
                                          ZOE
                              What do you live in a
                              convent?
            
                                          DARLA
                              I wasn't allowed to date.
            
                                       ZOE
                           Ever? Oh, sweety, you could
                           do so much better than that
                           prick.  Craig's his name.
                           He's a nasty piece a work,
                           and he treated his
                           girlfriend like complete
                           garbage.  You don't want
                           nothing to do with him.
                           Trust me.
            
                                       DARLA
                           He's been nice to me.
            
                                       ZOE
                           Of course he's being nice.
                           He wants your panties off.
                           You really need to wise up
                           in a hurry.  All kinds of
                           trash come in this place
                           every day.  Forget about
                           em. You'll end up in a
                           dumpster.
            
            Darla looks unconvinced.    Zoe pokes her in the head with
            an index finger.
            
                                       ZOE
                           Is this thing on?
            
            They exit the bathroom together, head down the hallway.
            
            Craig's table is empty.   The bill sits there, but no
            money. Darla picks up the paper, reads it.
            
                                        ZOE
                           No tip?  Not one penny.
            
                                       DARLA
                           Look, look.  He left me
                           his phone number.
            
                                       ZOE
                           Oh suffering Christ.
            
                                       DARLA
                           He says, I'll get my tip
                           tonight.
            
                                        ZOE
                            Oh my God.  Throw it
                            away.  Throw it away.
            
                                            DARLA
                            I?  Wait?
            
            Zoe snatches it.   Crumbles, takes it to the trash can
            and tosses it. Darla watches her, conflicted.
            
            BLACK. Inside the garbage can, lid flips open revealing
            Darla above.    She reaches in.
            
            PAYPHONE
            
            Darla un-crumples, wipes off ketchup from the paper.
            Dials. CLICK.
            
            RETURN TO DREAM WORLD...
            
            Darla in bright dress, wind gusting.    Kitten on top of
            the the payphone playing with her fingers.
            
                                        DARLA
                            Hi Craig.  I believe you
                            owe me my tip...
            
            FADE OUT.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

              Code:
              BUICK
              
              EXT. SMALL CEMETERY -- DAY
              
              Large oaks shade the gravestones and the narrow highway
              beside it. A squirrel searches through the orange and
              yellow leaves, then darts up a tree as a car passes by.
              
              
              INT/EXT. BUICK PARK AVENUE -- CONTINUOUS
              
              LAYTON MACUR, 60s, in expensive but casual clothes, stares
              forward, his shoulders squared and his jaws set.
              
              His wife ELENA, 60s, way too thin, wears a simple dress with
              a matching bandanna over her head. Her eyes are sunken and
              her face is sallow.
              
              She points to the graveyard and the few houses that surround
              it.
              
                                    ELENA
                        Oh, another one. Isn't it lovely?
              
                                     LAYTON
                        Yes, dear.   Just like all the
                        others.
              
              He forces a half smile.
              
                                    ELENA
                        I'm so happy you chose the scenic
                        route.
              
                                    LAYTON
                        We could have been there hours ago,
                        and without all these dang curves.
                        Valentine's is their busiest night.
              
                                    ELENA
                        But it's such a beautiful day.
              
              She closes her eyes and tilts her head toward the sunlight,
              then covers her mouth as she yawns.
              
                                    ELENA
                        I'm so sleepy.
              
              
              INT/EXT. BUICK PARK AVENUE -- LATER
              
              The shadows have lengthened.    The sun is red in the sky.
              
              Layton reaches over and touches Elena's shoulder.
              
                                    LAYTON
                        We're almost there.
              
              No movement.
              
                                       LAYTON
                        Elena?
              
              He grabs her shoulder and shakes it.
              
                                       LAYTON
                        Elena.
              
              The bandanna falls from her bare head as he shakes her more
              violently.
              
                                       LAYTON
                        Elena!
              
              Her eyes flutter open.
              
                                       ELENA
                        Layton?
              
                                       LAYTON
                        Elena.
              
                                    ELENA
                              (lanquidly)
                        So beautiful ...
              
              She smiles as her eyelids slowly close.
              
              
              INT/EXT. BUICK PARK AVENUE -- DAY
              
              The sun is bright overhead. Layton is driving with one arm
              on the steering wheel, the other around Elena -- who's long
              hair blows in the breeze, her eyes are sparkling.
              
              They drive past a small town cemetery, its grass perfectly
              mowed.
              
                                    ELENA
                        They just keep getting prettier.
              
                                    LAYTON
                        They sure do.
              
              The car tops a hill. The road winds down into a wide, open
              valley and ends at a large building far below them. It's
              surrounded by closely mowed grass and rows of trees and
              gravestones as far as the eye can see.
              
                                    ELENA
                        If that's a bed and breakfast.   Can
                        we stop?
              
              Layton looks in his rear view mirror and watches as the road
              fades away behind them.
              
                                    LAYTON
                        I don't think we have much choice.
              
              
              EXT. HIGHWAY -- TWILIGHT
              
              Steam hisses from under a Buick Park Avenue, its front-end
              is smashed flat into a huge oak tree on the side of the
              road.
              
              Police cars, their lights flashing, are parked along the
              shoulder.
              
              Two POLICEMEN talk in hushed tones.
              
                                    POLICEMAN ONE
                        No skid marks.
              
                                    POLICEMAN TWO
                              (staring wide-eyed into
                               the Buick)
                        And no one inside.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

                Code:
                SECRET ADMIRER
                
                OPEN ON
                
                A cell phone screen displaying "CALLING AUNT ALICE"
                
                BROOK (30s) with a body still good enough to get some second
                looks depending on the lighting, holds the phone to her ear
                as she stands in the
                
                INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
                
                                      AUTOMATED VOICE
                              (through phone)
                          The person you are trying to reach
                          is unavailable. Please leave a
                          message.
                                      BROOK
                          Hey, it's about nine. I still need
                          to talk to Tim about a few things,
                          but then I'll be ready. It shouldn't
                          take more than a couple of hours. I
                          can't wait to see you. Love you.
                
                Brook hangs up and goes back to neatly overstuffing clothes
                into a large suitcase sitting on the bed.
                
                She nervously spins her wedding ring around her finger as
                she scans the simply decorated room for anything forgotten.
                
                Her gaze stops on the framed photo sitting on the nightstand
                of her husband TIM and their six year old daughter, HEATHER.
                
                INT. CAR - NIGHT
                
                Tim (30s) with a face as plain as his business casual clothes,
                motors down a winding suburban road in his non-distinct sedan.
                
                INT. BEDROOM
                
                Brook zips up the suitcase, checks her cell phone again before
                pocketing it, and then lugs the suitcase into the
                
                HALLWAY
                
                                       HEATHER
                              (O.S.)
                          Mommy?
                
                Brook positions the suitcase away from her daughter's door
                before going into
                
                HEATHER'S BEDROOM
                
                                         BROOK
                          Yes, honey?
                
                Heather, a cutie in pajamas, is under the covers.
                
                                      HEATHER
                          When's Daddy coming home?
                
                                      BROOK
                          He should be here soon.
                
                Brook sits down on Heather's bed and strokes her hair.
                
                                      BROOK (CONT'D)
                          Honey, I need to tell you something
                          important. I want you to always
                          remember that no matter what, I'll
                          always come back for you, okay?
                
                                      HEATHER
                          And Daddy, too.
                
                                      BROOK
                          And Daddy, too. We'll always be
                          there for you no matter what.
                
                                        HEATHER
                          Okay.    I'll be there for you, too.
                
                EXT. CAR - NIGHT
                
                Red and blue emergency vehicle lights color a crash site.
                
                A flashlight waving policeman in the road motions Tim around
                the recent accident.
                
                He drives slowly by and peers at a smashed up Range Rover
                that got the worst part of a collision with a tanker truck.
                
                INT. HEATHER'S BEDROOM
                
                                         HEATHER
                          Mommy?
                
                                      BROOK
                          Yes, sweetie.
                
                                       HEATHER
                          Are you going on a trip to see Aunt
                          Alice again?
                
                                      BROOK
                          Yeah, but just for a couple of days.
                
                                         HEATHER
                             Is Daddy going?
                
                                         BROOK
                             No, not this time.
                
                                         HEATHER
                             Will you bring me back a present?
                
                                         BROOK
                             Don't I always bring you a present?
                
                Brook tickles a giggling Heather as headlights FLASH through
                the window and move across the bedroom.
                
                EXT. HOUSE IN SUBURBIA - NIGHT
                A tired Tim steps out carrying a small gift, beeps the locks,
                and moves with routine toward the middle class house.
                
                INT. FOYER
                
                Brook just misses Tim as he goes into the
                
                LIVING ROOM
                
                                         TIM
                             Sorry I'm late. Matt dropped the
                             MacGuffin file on my desk right when
                             I was getting ready to leave and
                             then there was this huge accident.
                
                                         BROOK
                             You could have called.
                
                                         TIM
                             My phone died and I forgot my charger.
                             I was just sitting in traffic forever.
                             What could I do?
                
                                         BROOK
                             I called you at three. I left a
                             message. You didn't call back.
                
                                         TIM
                             I was in a meeting. I'm sorry. I
                             should have called before I left.
                
                A doubting Brook studies Tim for a crack in his story.
                
                                         TIM (CONT'D)
                             Got you something.
                
                He holds out the small package.
                
                                         BROOK
                          What's that?
                
                                      TIM
                          I know Valentine's Day is a couple
                          days away, but I thought we've been
                          going through some stuff, so I wanted
                          to give it to you now.
                
                                      BROOK
                          We said we weren't...
                
                She takes the gift and awkwardly rolls it around in her hands.
                
                                      BROOK (CONT'D)
                          I don't have anything for you.
                                      TIM
                          I don't want anything.
                
                                      BROOK
                          Well, thank you.
                
                She places the gift on a nearby table.
                
                                      TIM
                          It's okay to open it now.
                
                Tim picks up the box and tries to hand it back to Brook, but
                she won't take it.
                
                                      BROOK
                          I'll get to it later.
                
                                      TIM
                          Look. I'm trying here. I know things
                          aren't great. But I'm trying. You
                          could at least try, too.
                
                                      BROOK
                          You think you can come home whenever
                          you want after running around doing
                          God knows what and then fix everything
                          with a ****ing piece of jewelry?
                
                She fires the box just past Tim's head.    It hits the wall
                with a THUD.
                
                                      BROOK (CONT'D)
                          This is you trying?!?
                
                                         TIM
                          Real mature.     Throwing sh--
                
                Heather, watery-eyed, appears from the connecting hallway.
                
                                      TIM (CONT'D)
                          Great parenting, Brook.
                
                                      BROOK
                              (to Heather)
                          It's okay, sweetie. We're just
                          talking. Go back to your bed, okay.
                
                Tim takes a seat on the couch and flips on the TV.
                
                                      TIM
                          Everything's okay.       Go back to bed.
                
                Heather, still upset, does as she's told.
                
                                      BROOK
                              (fighting back tears)
                          I'll be in there in a minute to tell
                          you good night, okay?
                
                                         HEATHER
                              (O.S.)
                          Okay, mommy.
                
                Brook steels herself and moves to a loveseat near the couch.
                
                Tim blankly stares at the game on TV.
                
                                      BROOK
                          I shouldn't have thrown your gift.
                
                                      TIM
                          I'm not lying. I don't know what I
                          have to do to make you believe me.
                
                                      BROOK
                          It doesn't matter.
                
                                      TIM
                          What do you mean? It doesn't matter
                          if you don't believe anything I say?
                          Jesus, that matters to me.
                
                                      BROOK
                          I'm just not sure I can do this
                          anymore.
                
                Tim pauses the TV and lets out an exhausted sigh.
                
                                      TIM
                          We're doing this again?
                
                They are interrupted by WHAM'S WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO
                on Brook's cell phone. The display shows INCOMING CALL FROM
                AUNT ALICE.
                
                                      BROOK
                              (into phone)
                          Hello? No, this is Brook.
                
                Brook puts her hand over the phone. Tim unpauses the game
                and barely notices her slink away to the back of the room.
                
                                       BROOK (CONT'D)
                              (into phone)
                          Who is this?
                
                EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
                
                A mangled Range Rover sits atop a flatbed tow truck.
                
                DEB, a manly looking tow truck driver, is on the other end
                of the line.
                INTERCUT BROOK AND DEB TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
                
                                      DEB
                          This is Deb from City Towing. I
                          wanted to see if this cell phone
                          belonged to this job.
                
                                        BROOK
                          Job?
                
                                       DEB
                          There was a pretty bad accident. I
                          found this cell phone in the street.
                          I saw you were the last one to call
                          this number.
                
                                      BROOK
                          Is everything all right?
                
                                      DEB
                          They took both drivers to the
                          hospital. I'm sorry, I don't know
                          nothing, but it looked pretty serious.
                          Not sure which hospital though.
                          Saint something. Probably Mary's.
                
                Brook looks nervously back to Tim, but he's zoned out.
                
                                        BROOK
                          Oh, my God.
                
                                      DEB
                          I'm sorry to be the one to tell you
                          this. So, does this phone belong in
                          the Range Rover?
                
                                        BROOK
                          Yes.
                
                                      DEB
                          I'll put it under the driver's seat.
                          Sorry to be the one to tell you this
                          stuff, ma'am.
                
                INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
                
                                      BROOK
                          I understand. It's okay. Thank
                          you. It'll all be okay. Thank you.
                
                Brook clicks the phone off and stares dumbfounded into space.
                
                                        TIM
                          Who called?
                
                Tim turns to see Brook wiping away a tear.
                
                                      BROOK
                          It was Alice.
                
                                      TIM
                          What did she want?
                
                                      BROOK
                          She was calling to see how I was.
                
                                      TIM
                          And that made you cry?
                
                                      BROOK
                          No, she said Jackson died.
                
                                        TIM
                          Jackson?    Her son?
                
                                      BROOK
                          Jackson's her dog.
                
                                        TIM
                          Oh.    You're crying over her dog?
                
                                        BROOK
                          Shut up.    You just don't understand.
                
                                      TIM
                          At least I won't have to miss work
                          for a dog. You might have to see if
                          you can get a day off from the
                          housework though.
                
                                      BROOK
                          You're an ***hole.
                
                Tim rolls his eyes before going back to the game.
                
                INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
                
                Brook picks up the suitcase with some effort and starts
                hauling it back to her bedroom.
                
                                       HEATHER
                              (O.S.)
                          Mommy?
                
                INT. HEATHER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
                
                Heather lays in bed in her dimly lit room.
                                      HEATHER
                          Are you leaving now?
                
                                       BROOK
                          No.   No, I don't think so.
                
                                      HEATHER
                          You said you were going on a trip.
                
                                      BROOK
                          I know. Mommy was just pretending.
                          You know, like you do sometimes.
                
                                     HEATHER
                          Mommy? Will you still get me a
                          present?
                
                                      BROOK
                          Of course, sweetie.
                
                                     HEATHER
                          Mommy? Why were you pretending by
                          yourself?
                
                                      BROOK
                          Mommy was just being silly.   Now get
                          some sleep. Love you.
                
                                      HEATHER
                          Love you, Mommy.
                
                A gently smiling Heather closes her eyes as Brook lugs the
                suitcase back to her bedroom.
                
                FADE TO BLACK

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

                  Code:
                  NO BUNNY
                  
                  
                  EXT. SMALL TOWN - MAIN STREET - DAY
                  
                  A fading, one-stoplight town nearing the end of its slow decline.
                  
                  Sandwiched between two abandoned storefronts -
                  
                  MELBA'S PET SHOP.
                  
                  In the front display window, THREE BABY BUNNIES snooze together under
                  a RED PAPER HEART SIGN:
                  
                                           You're No Bunny Till
                                          Some Bunny Loves You!
                  
                  A WORK VAN pulls up, parks. The side panel reads: HAWKWORTH PLUMBING.
                  
                  ELI HAWKWORTH (30s) swings out of the driver's seat headed for the
                  rear van door. A bit chunky in his overalls, in need of a shave and
                  haircut, Eli could be good looking if he took better care of himself.
                  
                  From the back of his van he takes out a WIRE CAGE with a LARGE BLACK
                  AND WHITE RABBIT inside.
                  
                  Before he closes the van door, we glimpse a toilet bowl surrounded by
                  pipes and plumbing supplies.
                  
                  Eli heads into the pet shop as POLICE SIRENS SQUEAL in the distance.
                  
                  INT. MELBA'S PET SHOP - BACK COUNTER
                  
                  MELBA (70s) pays no never-mind to the SQUAWKS, MEWS and BARKS of her
                  inventory. Her eyes are glued to the small TV on her store counter.
                  
                  Eli sets his rabbit cage down beside it.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 Did ya hear? Someone just robbed
                                 that bank in the Super Walmart.
                  
                                               ELI
                                 Is that so.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 Wouldn't put my money in there.
                                 Smells like stale popcorn.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Indeed it does.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 And that eyeglass place they got
                                 there? Those fools gave my pastor
                                 the wrong prescription. Ran his
                                 his truck in a ditch.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Heard about that. A shame.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 That Walmart ruined this town.
                                 Threw off the natural balance.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 This is true.
                  
                  A man of few words, Eli tilts his head toward his rabbit cage.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 Ah, right. Sorry for rambling.
                                       (opens rabbit cage)
                                 Well, hello, Mr. Pitt. Ready to
                                 find your Miss Right?
                  
                  With the rabbit in her arms, she heads for the front. As Eli follows -
                  
                                            ELI
                                 You sure about this? I think
                                 he's still grieving Angelina.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 And I think you're pro-jecting
                                 your own grief on your pet.
                                 Eli. Two years?
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Only been a month.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 I'm talking about Stephanie,
                                 bless her soul. She'd want you
                                 to find someone else.
                  
                  There's a split-second of sorrow in his eyes but he overrides it.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Can we do this? Left a meatloaf
                                 cooking.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 Hit a sore spot didn't I?
                  
                                            ELI
                                 In a hurry, that's all.
                  
                                            MELBA
                                 Come on, Mr. Pitt. Show the man
                                 how it's done.
                  
                  She sets Eli's rabbit in with the sleeping bunnies. One awakens,
                  twitches her nose at stoic Mr. Pitt, and hops toward him.
                  
                  EXT. MELBA'S PET SHOP - A LITTLE LATER
                  
                  Eli exits the store with the rabbit cage. In it, a white baby bunny
                  snuggles Mr. Pitt. But when Eli opens the rear door of his van ...
                  
                  INT. BACK OF HAWKWORTH PLUMBING VAN
                  
                  ... he finds himself looking at the wrong end of a .38 caliber pistol.
                  
                  CRYSTAL MARKS (30s) is seated on the toilet. She keeps her gun trained
                  on Eli but her hand is a bit shaky. With her free hand she places a
                  forefinger to her lips.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 Shhhh. You're looking at a
                                 desperate woman.
                  
                  He studies her - pink hospital scrubs, sneakers, an over-stuffed
                  handbag on her lap. And it looks like she hasn't slept in a week.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 You're welcome to sit up front.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 I give the orders. Not you.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Suit yourself.
                  
                  He closes the door --
                  
                                             CRYSTAL
                                 Hey --!
                  
                  -- locks it, and carries the rabbit cage toward the front of the van.
                  
                  INT. MOVING VAN - A LITTLE LATER
                  
                  Eli drives, nonchalant, in spite of the gun behind his right ear.
                  
                  Crystal - crouched behind his seat - tries to keep her aim steady as
                  the bumpy road rattles the pipes and plumbing supplies behind her.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 Is this your only vehicle?
                  
                                            ELI
                                 I can put you in a ride. After
                                 dinner. You like meatloaf?
                  
                  She eyes the rabbit cage in the passenger's seat.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 I'm not hungry.
                  
                  INT. ELI'S HOUSE - MODEST KITCHEN - LATER
                  
                  Close on: a HEART-SHAPED MEATLOAF outlined with TUFTS OF MASHED
                  POTATOES. It sits on a platter centered on the kitchen table.
                  
                  Crystal - her gun at the ready - stares at the steaming Valentine.
                  
                                              CRYSTAL
                                 Seriously?
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Sort of a family tradition. Wine?
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 Do you get what's going on, here -
                                 um - what's your name?
                  
                                              ELI
                                 Eli.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 This isn't a date, Eli. I'm holding
                                 you hostage. With a loaded gun. I'll
                                 use it if you give me half a reason.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Yeah. Desperate woman. Got all that.
                                      (opens fridge)
                                 Red or white? I'm guessing red.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 Jesus Christ.... Yeah, red.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Always been a good guesser.
                  
                  LATER, DURING THE MEAL.
                  
                  It pleases Eli to watch Crystal eat - fork in her one hand, wine glass
                  in the other. But he can't help notice she's left the gun within his
                  reach. Finished, she stifles a yawn.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 I need to catch the news.
                                 Where's your T.V.?
                  
                                            ELI
                                 The den. We'll have coffee in
                                 there. Black, no sugar, right?
                  
                  Her annoyed silence confirms it. Eli smiles.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Two for two.
                  
                  IN THE DEN.
                  
                  Eli relaxes in his La-Z-Boy, coffee mug in hand. A TV commercial for
                  1-800-FLOWERS sells Valentine roses. He glances at the sofa where -
                  
                  Crystal dozes, head lolled sideways, mouth slightly open. Her hand, in
                  her lap, loosely holds the gun. Not attractive but sadly vulnerable.
                  
                                            TV ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
                                 We interrupt this program for a
                                 local news update....
                  
                  He goes to her, slips the gun from her lap and empties the bullets
                  into his hand.
                  
                                            TV ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
                                 Police are on the lookout for a
                                 woman identified as Crystal Marks.
                  
                  He sets the gun back on her lap and studies her face, the dark shadows
                  under her eyes, the hollows of her cheeks.
                  
                                            TV ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
                                 Marks, thirty-two, is a suspect in
                                 connection to a bank robbery at
                                 the Super Walmart, just hours ago.
                  
                  He can still hear the T.V. as he heads into ...
                  
                                            TV ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
                                 Details are still coming in but we
                                 were able to confirm the following.
                  
                  THE CENTER HALL.
                  
                  He opens a closet door revealing a tall GUN SAFE. He spins the
                  combination lock, opens it, inside: assorted guns and rifles.
                  
                                            TV ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
                                 Crystal Marks is the widow of Staff
                                 Sergeant Robert Marks, recently
                                 killed serving in Afghanistan.
                  
                  This news stops Eli cold.
                  
                                            TV ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
                                 A confidential source also reports
                                 the suspect had been admitted to
                                 Grace Memorial Cancer Center,
                                 yesterday.
                  
                  The bullets fall from his hand and scatter on the wood floor.
                  
                  INT. ELI'S HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - MORNING
                  
                  Crystal sleeps under the green floral comforter. Her gun, on the
                  pillow beside her. Her overstuffed handbag, on the foot of the bed.
                  She awakens with a gasp, grabs her weapon, scans her surroundings.
                  
                  Pale green-striped wallpaper. White eyelet window curtains. An antique
                  wing chair with a romance novel on its seat. On the dresser, a wedding
                  photo: a YOUNGER ELI, in a tuxedo, kisses his RED-HAIRED BRIDE.
                  
                  Crystal gets out of bed - still in hospital scrubs - goes to the
                  closet and opens it. On one side, men's clothes, the other, women's.
                  She takes a pullover sweater from the shelf.
                  
                  INT. ELI'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - LATER
                  
                  Crystal - her hair damp, wearing the pullover sweater and jeans -
                  enters to find Eli making pancakes. He smiles at her, clean shaven.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Good morning --.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 Where's your wife --.
                  
                                               ELI
                                 Sleep well?
                  
                  She pulls the gun from her waistband. One last attempt at tough girl.
                  
                                               CRYSTAL
                                 Answer me.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 I'm guessing, same place as your
                                 husband?
                  
                  There's a flash of empathy for him in her eyes. She opens a kitchen
                  drawer, sets her gun inside and closes it.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 How much do they know?
                  
                                               ELI
                                 Enough.
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 Maybe you should turn me in.
                                 Get a reward or something.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Not before breakfast --.
                  
                  RAPID KNOCKS ON THE FRONT DOOR.
                  
                  Crystal is scared, about to speak, when Eli lightly touches her lips.
                  
                                              ELI
                                 Sssshh.
                  
                  EXT. ELI'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY - MOMENTS LATER
                  
                  Eli stands in the open doorway facing SHERIFF MACK (40s).
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Yeah. Saw all that on the news.
                  
                                            SHERIFF MACK
                                 Just found her yellow GEO in
                                 an alley off Main Street....
                  
                  INT. ELI'S HOUSE - DEN - SAME
                  
                  Crystal sticks close to the bookshelf to eavesdrop.
                  
                                            SHERIFF MACK (O.C.)
                                 Miss Melba says you were in
                                 around the time of the robbery.
                  
                                            ELI (O.C.)
                                 That's right.
                  
                  She senses another presence and looks down. Mr. Pitt and the little
                  white bunny stare up at her.
                  
                                            SHERIFF MACK (O.C.)
                                 See anything on your way out?
                  
                  She sees books on a lower shelf: SURVIVING CANCER, CHEMO MEDITATIONS.
                  
                                            ELI (O.C.)
                                 Let me think, here ....
                  
                  CANCER IS NOT A 4-LETTER WORD. She runs a finger over the book spine.
                  
                  EXT. ELI'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - SAME
                  
                                              ELI
                                 Sorry, no.
                  
                  Mack eyes Eli, looking for his tells. The mental poker game begins.
                  
                                            SHERIFF MACK
                                 Damn that coffee smells good.
                  
                  The good guesser decides to up the ante.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Come on in and grab a cup.
                  
                                            SHERIFF MACK
                                 I don't know. Need to stay on this.
                                 I mean - a woman can't just vanish
                                 into thin air, right?
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Then again, sometimes they do.
                  
                                            SHERIFF MACK
                                 Yeah ... I was thinking her story
                                 must hit close to home for you.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Sure you don't want that coffee,
                                 Mack?
                  
                  Mack considers it then -
                  
                                            SHERIFF MACK
                                 Thank you, no. I'll be on my way.
                  
                  INT. ELI'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - A LITTLE LATER
                  
                  Eli and Crystal eat breakfast.
                  
                                            ELI
                                 Ever see the Grand Canyon?
                  
                                            CRYSTAL
                                 No. But I always wanted to.
                  
                                             ELI
                                 Me, too.
                  
                  They hold each other's gaze - with tenderness, with compassion - and
                  for the first time we see Crystal smile.
                  
                  EXT. BEHIND ELI'S HOUSE - DAY
                  
                  Eli carries a suitcase in each hand. Crystal - her handbag slung over
                  her shoulder - carries the wire cage with Eli's two bunnies inside.
                  
                  Up ahead, under a huge carport, a BIG RV CAMPER awaits.
                  
                  FADE OUT.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

                    Code:
                    "LONDON UNDERGROUND"
                    
                    FADE IN:
                    
                    No windows, concrete, airless. Crates and industrial junk
                    lines the walls, electrical equipment. A large SIGN warning
                    of electrical current on a wall, 1000s of vaults.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               What's happening?
                    
                    Pause.
                    
                                           MAN
                               I'm not sure.
                    
                    Pause.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               Will they find us down here?
                    
                    Pause.
                                             MAN
                               Maybe.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                                   (re: his arm)
                               What happened?
                    
                    The BOOMING way above somewhere unsettles the air.   The man
                    turns to look at her.
                    
                                           MAN
                               We went looking for food in a
                               supermarket, they came.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               It looks angry.
                    
                                           MAN
                               I should have redressed the bandage
                               my now.
                    
                                             WOMAN
                               Let me see.
                    
                    She grabs a medical bag.
                    
                                           WOMAN (CONT'D)
                               Best to talk, you wont notice the
                               pain quite so much.
                    
                    Silence.
                    
                                          MAN
                              We rolled in tanks, it made no
                              difference.
                    
                    Another BOOM. Dust unsettles.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              You were a soldier, yes?
                    
                                          MAN
                              Parachute Regiment.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              I can read into peoples faces.
                    
                                          MAN
                              What did you read into my face
                              exactly?
                    
                    Pause.
                                           WOMAN
                                  (smiles)
                              That you were a soldier.
                    
                    Above, hundreds of feet above... a sound like THUNDER,
                    continuing in waves.
                    
                                          MAN
                              They've started, it sounds worse
                              than last time.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              I wish it would stop, sometimes,
                              just for a while.
                    
                    Pause.
                    
                                          MAN
                              They'll never stop.
                    
                    The woman's face turns into the candle light. Grabs the
                    lint. Her features are white, delicate, beautiful. A lock of
                    hair falls across her face as she unwinds the white bandage.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              Does it hurt much?
                    
                                             MAN
                              Not anymore.
                    
                    She smiles again, her eyes gleaming.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              You're a good liar.
                    
                    INT. EXTERIOR CORRIDOR - UNCERTAIN HOURS LATER - SUBJECTIVE
                    CAMERA
                    
                    We push in slowly through this confined corridor. Ahead a
                    sign reads: LONDON UNDERGROUND, CIRCLE LINE, WARNING
                    ELECTRICITY.
                    
                    Plodding through heavy air and dust, BOOMING behind us down
                    the corridor in the darkness.
                    
                    A hundred yards on, through the gloom towards a pale yellow
                    light.
                    
                    Entering the little box of a room. The woman lies on a
                    blanket. The man sleeps upright, he twitches occasionally as
                    he sleeps.
                    
                    EXT. LONDON STREET - DUST AND FIRES - DAYS AGO
                    
                    A shroud hangs over London, rubbing out the sun.   Here at
                    street level, little light makes it through now.   SCREAMS...
                                          PEOPLE
                              They're coming again!
                    
                    The crowd of looters and soldiers scatters, shopping trolleys
                    abandoned full of food, a man breaks from this mob. It's
                    our MAN!
                    
                                          MAN
                              Spread out across the street lads,
                              we'll send a ****ing wall of lead at
                              them this time!
                    
                    He crouches down and takes up aim.
                    
                                          MAN (CONT'D)
                              Let's show these ****ers how it's
                              done!
                    
                    Another paratrooper runs forward of the line, staring
                    defiantly down the street, he trots back...
                    
                                          SOLDIER
                              Boss says we're making a stand, come
                              on, move it lads!
                    
                    The SILENCE is tense. Crisp packets blow around, the updrafts
                    of smoke nearly taking them funnel-like up into whatever
                    lies above the smoke line...
                    
                    Shopping trolley, a wounded pigeon, FEAR on the air, and
                    then...
                    
                    BACK UNDERGROUND:
                    
                    The man SCREAMS, his arms flailing, his fingers feel about
                    at his sides, then he sleeps...
                    
                    SILENCE
                    
                    The candle flames flicker as WATER DRIPS somewhere...
                    
                    The woman asleep on a blanket in a fetal position.
                    
                    BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM --   continues
                    
                    EXT. GARDEN - CAMDEN - LONDON SUBURBS - DAY
                    
                    A small child skipping down a narrow pathway.   Strong summer
                    sun radiates this suburban garden.
                    
                                            LITTLE GIRL
                              ...Mum!
                    
                    The woman in the deck chair stirs.    She dips her sunglasses,
                    smiles.
                                          LITTLE GIRL (CONT'D)
                              The man on the TV says everybody is
                              to go indoors and that we're not to
                              worry!
                    
                    A water sprinkler bursts into life, the sky darkens...
                    
                    INT. CONCRETE ROOM -
                    
                    Water, close, continuous dripping...
                    
                    The woman stirs, she wipes her eyes, tries to focus, the man
                    is moving one of the larger crates.
                    
                                            WOMAN
                              ... dreams.
                    
                    He watches her, smiling.
                    
                                          MAN
                              It's raining up top.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              That's feels comforting.
                    
                                          MAN
                              Maybe all day, I've heard it running
                              in the walls over the last few hours.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              Was I asleep that long?
                    
                                           MAN
                               You were very tired.
                    
                    Pause.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               I never used to like rain much.      I
                               do now.
                    
                    The crate suddenly slides, an ominous tone SHUDDERS throughout
                    the room.
                    
                                           MAN
                               That was the first mistake I've made.
                    
                    They stare at one another.
                    
                    SILENCE.   An hour passes.
                    
                                           MAN (CONT'D)
                               It's okay now?
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               Are you sure?
                    
                    He watches her, she's appears to be struggling to contain
                    her demons.
                    
                    After a beat:
                    
                                             MAN
                               Yeah...    I'm sure.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               I'll make us some food then.
                    
                                           MAN
                               That would be ... wonderful.
                    
                    She looks up and smiles.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               Where were you stationed?
                    
                                           MAN
                               Here and there.
                    
                                             WOMAN
                               Such as?
                    
                                           MAN
                               Northern Ireland.      Far East, Burma.
                    
                                             WOMAN
                                Burma, oh, that must have been
                                interesting?
                    
                                              MAN
                                It was.
                    
                                            WOMAN
                                Very warm I'd imagine?
                    
                    Hours later. The woman is working on a bench, setting out
                    the scraps of food. She stares down. Wipes her eyes.
                    
                    Turning bravely...
                    
                                            WOMAN (CONT'D)
                                    (smiling)
                                It's not much!
                    
                                              MAN
                                It's fine.
                    They sit.
                    
                                            WOMAN
                                Did you enjoy being a soldier?
                    
                                             MAN
                                It felt like something I did well?
                                    (pause))
                                If that's what you meant?
                    
                                              WOMAN
                                I guess so.
                    
                                            MAN
                                What did you want to know... before
                                I mean?
                    
                    Pause.
                    
                                            WOMAN
                                I've quite forgotten.
                    
                    Strange NOISES at the surface.      The woman stares at the man.
                    
                                            WOMAN (CONT'D)
                                I was asking what day it was?
                    
                                              MAN
                                Sorry?
                    
                                              WOMAN
                                The day!
                    
                                            MAN
                               Well, it's February...
                                   (counting))
                               the 13th, wait... no, maybe it's the
                               14th by now.
                    
                                                                       FADE TO BLACK
                    
                    Open on:
                    
                    The man crouching by the wall.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               Is that a tap?
                    
                                           MAN
                               If I can turn it through a half
                               revolution it may refill our bottles.
                    
                                            WOMAN
                               Wonderful.
                    
                    BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- continuing.
                    
                    INT. CONCRETE ROOM - 8.23PM
                    
                    SCREAMING. The man rushes over. He grabs her, folding his
                    arms gently under her limp back. She wakes, pulling back,
                    she beats at him with her fists...
                    
                                            MAN
                               It's okay, it's okay, we're safe.
                               It's okay...
                    
                    She's quiet, watching him, unblinking, then slowly closes
                    her eyes. They sit like that, for hours.
                    
                    INT. CONCRETE ROOM - MORNING - 7.33AM.
                    
                    The man is wiping over the face of his watch, the glass is
                    cracked. It's brass, heavy, regimental. Officer's watch.
                    A presentation piece.
                    
                    Above the BOOMING continues and then ceases.
                    
                    The woman stirs.
                    
                                           WOMAN
                               What's happening?
                    
                                           MAN
                               Here, drink this. I found some water,
                               not much, a beaker's worth.
                    
                    She sits up and drinks.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              What's wrong?
                    
                                          MAN
                              I'm not sure yet?
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              What does that mean?
                    
                                          MAN
                              ... we may have to leave.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              Why, why do we have to go? You said
                              we could stay down here! This is
                              our home now, you said-
                    
                                          MAN
                              We've run out of water.    Without it,
                              we'll soon die.
                    
                    She falls quiet.    Sleep overtaking her.
                    
                    INT. CONCRETE ROOM - 11.23AM
                    
                    An eerie UNNATURAL SOUND brings their attention over to the
                    doorway, beyond the crooked makeshift barrier there are
                    distant noises.
                    
                                            WOMAN
                              People?
                    
                                          MAN
                              I don't think so.
                    
                    The woman shudders.
                    
                                          MAN (CONT'D)
                              That's the outside barrier... Jesus
                              ... I should have reinforced it.
                    
                    He sweeps up the rifle.
                    
                    EXT. CORRIDOR - 100 YARDS BEYOND THE BUNKER - MINUTES LATER
                    
                    Water cascading down walls, puddles, so many sounds,
                    impossible to zero in on any of them.
                    
                                          MAN
                              Quick, over here.
                    
                    At a large rusted door, the man is a working the iron handle.
                    It suddenly gives. More NOISES...
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              They're coming.
                    
                                          MAN
                              Nearly there.
                    
                    Touches his arm.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              I've stopped shaking.
                    
                    The man glances at her, their eyes lock. They suddenly kiss
                    and fumble in an ecstasy of passion.
                    
                                             MAN
                              Let's go.
                    
                    The door just open enough for... a slender woman.
                    
                    The man suddenly pushes her through.
                    
                                          MAN (CONT'D)
                              Take this watch, shake it when it
                              stops. And this-
                    
                    Watching his face.
                    
                                          MAN (CONT'D)
                              Follow the shaft to the surface,
                              stay low, wait for dark.
                    
                    He looks up at her.   She holds out a hand.
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              You'll come later... by another route?
                    
                                          MAN
                              You have to go...
                    
                                             WOMAN
                              Jo.
                    
                    The man's already staring back down the shaft into the grim
                    darkness there. The lonely RED SIGNAL lamp still bleeds
                    some light.
                    
                                             MAN
                              What's that?
                    
                                          WOMAN
                              My name... it's Jo, it's Jo... I'm a
                              nurse.
                    
                                                MAN
                                     (softly)
                                 I know.
                    
                                             WOMAN
                                 You know what?
                    
                                             MAN
                                 I already knew that you were a nurse,
                                 Jo.
                                     (pause)
                                 I read people well.
                    
                    He smiles.    Her expression changing.
                    
                                             WOMAN
                                 Please, we can open it further, please
                                     (tugging on the door)
                                 Please, please, please...
                    
                    A great BOOM resounds down the shafts, sounds like multiple
                    tube trains all CRASHING...
                    
                                             MAN
                                 Go, please... get out now!!!
                    
                    She stares at him, frantic. His heads down though, straining.
                    Heaving the iron door fast, her white face disappears in the
                    torchlight as gloom now fills the corridor...
                    
                    INT. FURTHER DOWN EXTERIOR CORRIDOR - MOMENTS LATER
                    
                    The man is sprinting into the darkness, puddles splashing
                    under his feet. At a junction box, he stops and listens.
                    
                    The BURST OF FIRE is deafening, it lights the shaft with a
                    spout of orange flame, tracers bouncing of the concrete walls,
                    like firecrackers exploding inside a tomb...
                    
                                                                        CUT INTO BLACK
                    
                    EXT. LONDON STREETS - NIGHT
                    
                    A shadow climbs into an overturned YELLOW STREET CLEANING
                    TRUCK. Searching through the rubbish she pulls a large
                    blanket over herself, it's a good hiding hole. Chewing on a
                    sandwich by torchlight she unfolds a piece of paper...
                    
                    Happy Valentine's Jo!        I fell in love today, for the first
                    time, Michael.
                    
                    She raises her slender hand to her mouth, she looks at the
                    large loose watch on her wrist, she starts to weep...
                    
                    We begin to PULL BACK...
                    
                    EXT. LONDON STREETS - NIGHT
                    
                    Darkness.   Flares in the sky.
                    
                    And somewhere in this twilight city:
                    
                    BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM -- BOOM --
                    and on and on and then...
                    
                                                                  FADE TO WHITE.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

                      Code:
                      SHE'S THE ONE
                      
                      
                      FADE IN:
                      
                      EXT. CITY CENTER, NIGHTCLUB STRIP - NIGHT
                      
                      In the bright neon light from nearby establishments, MIA,
                      a beautiful blonde girl in a short black dress, bends over
                      and vomits into the gutter.
                      
                                             GARY (V.O.)
                                 Oh man, she's beautiful.
                      
                      On GARY and NEVILLE, bouncers outside a nightclub. Gary's
                      infatuation is counterbalanced by Neville's disgust.
                      
                      Unable to keep her balance, Mia sits down hard in the puddle
                      of her own vomit.
                      
                                             GARY
                                 Maybe I should call her a taxi.
                      
                                             NEVILLE
                                 You could call her anything you
                                 like, she wouldn't even notice.
                      
                      Mia slowly keels over onto her side and goes to sleep in
                      the gutter.
                                             GARY
                                 Hasn't she got lovely eyes?
                      
                                             NEVILLE
                                 Mate, you have got to stop doing
                                 this.
                                               GARY
                                 Doing what?
                      
                                             NEVILLE
                                 You need help.
                      
                      
                      INT. GARY'S BEDROOM - MORNING
                      
                      A proper man's room, Top Gear posters on the walls.
                      
                      Mia's asleep in the bed, alone. She turns over, sunlight
                      shines through the blinds and hits her face. She wakes up
                      slowly, then suddenly jumps up with a start, where the
                      fluck is she? And why is she wearing Top Gear pajamas?
                      A gentle KNOCK.   Gary opens the door, sticks his head in.
                      
                                             GARY
                                 I wondered if you were awake.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Who the fluck are you?
                      
                                            GARY
                                I'm Gary. I brought you home last
                                night? I asked you where you lived
                                but you couldn't speak.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Did you fluck me?
                      
                                            GARY
                                No! You were totally out of it.
                                I cleaned you up a bit and put you
                                to bed. I slept on the couch.
                      
                      Mia reaches down and gives herself a good scratch.
                      
                                            MIA
                                It feels like my twat's been well
                                pumped.
                                            GARY
                                I can assure you it wasn't me.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Nevermind then.  Any chance of
                                some breakfast?
                      
                                            GARY
                                I was going to ask.  Would you
                                like some toast?
                      
                                            MIA
                                That would be great.
                      
                                            GARY
                                One slice or two?
                      
                                            MIA
                                Two. Four. Put some scrambled
                                eggs and sausages and beans on
                                them, would you?
                      
                                            GARY
                                Okay.
                      
                      
                      INT. GARY'S KITCHEN - DAY
                      
                      Mia eats a full breakfast, still wearing the pajamas and
                      now also wrapped in a Top Gear blanket.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Do you really like Top Gear or
                                something?
                      
                                            GARY
                                I think it's by far the best
                                programme on T.V.
                      
                                            MIA
                                You came to my rescue last night.
                                Like a knight in shining armor.
                                Like... Richard Hammond.
                      
                                            GARY
                                I just thought it was the right
                                thing to do. Who knows what might
                                have happened if I'd left you lying
                                there in the gutter?
                      
                                            MIA
                                Someone could have shagged me.
                      
                                            GARY
                                I would have smacked them if they'd
                                tried.
                                  
                                            MIA
                                Are you a bit of a tough guy?
                      
                                            GARY
                                Me and my mate Neville work at the
                                Swinging Sixties nightclub. We're
                                bouncers.
                      
                                            MIA
                                I'd never go in there, it's all
                                old people.
                      
                                            GARY
                                No, it's just a name, it's a retro
                                style, they're not old or anything
                                like that.
                      
                                            MIA
                                I've seen them, some of them are
                                like, over thirty. Do you like
                                banging older women?
                      
                                            GARY
                                They just say hello to us, they
                                don't bang us.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Do you have a girlfriend?
                      
                                            GARY
                                Not right now.
                      
                                              MIA
                                Me neither.  Got any more beans?
                      
                      
                      INT. GARY'S TOILET - DAY
                      
                      Mia sits on the throne, pajama trousers around her ankles.
                      PARP! She looks up as the door slowly opens.
                      
                      EMMA, Gary's mother, gawps at Mia.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Do you mind? I'm trying to squeeze
                                one out here.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                I didn't know you were in here!
                                You should have locked the door.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Who the fluck are you anyway?
                      
                                            EMMA
                                I'm Gary's mother!  Who are you?
                      
                                            MIA
                                Oh, right. Don't look so horrified.
                                He slept on the couch. I might
                                have been a bit pissed last night.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                He's a big boy, who he chooses to
                                bring home is his business. Not
                                that he brings home a lot of girls.
                      
                                            MIA
                                The baby's coming.  Do you think
                                you could...?
                      
                                            EMMA
                                I'll leave you to it, shall I?
                      
                                              MIA
                                Thanks.
                      
                      Emma closes the door.
                      
                      
                      INT. OUTSIDE THE TOILET - DAY
                      
                      Emma has a look of horror in her eyes.
                      
                      PARP! noises from inside the toilet.
                      
                      
                      INT. GARY'S BEDROOM - DAY
                      
                      Mia enters, still in pajamas. She sees her clothes laid
                      out neatly on the made-up bed. She picks up her dress,
                      examines it. She takes a sniff. Oooh, nice.
                      
                      
                      INT. GARY'S HALLWAY - DAY
                      
                      Dressed now, Mia joins Gary at the front door.
                      
                                            MIA
                                I can't believe you washed my
                                clothes. Even my undies smell
                                fresh.
                      
                                            GARY
                                I just threw them in the washing
                                machine, I didn't sniff them or
                                anything. The taxi's waiting.
                      
                                            MIA
                                I don't know if I can afford it.
                      
                                            GARY
                                It's all right, I already paid
                                him.
                      
                                            MIA
                                That's really nice of you.   I'll
                                pay you back, honest.
                      
                                            GARY
                                Forget it. How do you fancy going
                                out for dinner tonight?
                      
                                            MIA
                                Like to a burger place?
                      
                                            GARY
                                I was thinking a restaurant.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Yeah all right.
                      
                                             GARY
                                Oh.  Okay.
                      
                                             MIA
                                What?
                      
                                            GARY
                                I didn't think you'd say yes.
                      
                                            MIA
                                Maybe we can go dancing after?
                      
                                                GARY
                                If you like.
                      
                      Mia pecks Gary on the cheek and skips outside.  Gary watches
                      her go with a happy smile on his face.
                      
                      
                      INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
                      
                      Gary and Mia at a table for two. Tonight she's wearing a
                      classy combo of leopard print dress, matching leggings,
                      streetwalker shoes. There's a single red rose in a long-
                      stemmed vase on the table.
                      
                      Mia looks around, impressed.
                      
                                            MIA
                                This is really nice.
                      
                      She studies the menu.
                      
                                            MIA
                                The prices are a bit steep, though.
                      
                                            GARY
                                I happen to think you're worth it.
                      
                                            MIA
                                You're crazy, you are.
                      
                      A WAITER arrives.
                      
                                            WAITER
                                Would sir and madam care for some
                                wine tonight?
                      
                                            MIA
                                Keep your fancy stuff, just give
                                us the house red. Biggest bottle
                                you've got.
                      
                                            WAITER
                                A carafe of house red, certainly.
                                And what will sir be drinking?
                      
                                            MIA
                                Hey, are you implying I've got a
                                long neck?
                      
                                               WAITER
                                Sorry, what?
                      
                                            MIA
                                You called me a giraffe.
                      
                                            GARY
                                Can I have a beer?  In a glass?
                      
                                            WAITER
                                One beer in a glass and one bottle
                                of red wine for the young lady.
                      
                      The Waiter hurries off.
                      
                                           MIA
                               Who's he calling a young lady?
                               I'll shove my fist up his arse.
                      
                                           GARY
                               I don't think he meant any offense.
                      
                                           MIA
                               Truth to tell I feel a little bit
                               out of place here. It makes me
                               feel common as muck.
                      
                                           GARY
                               I think you look like a million
                               dollars.
                      
                                           MIA
                               You really think so?
                      
                                           GARY
                               I really think so. You're the
                               most beautiful girl here.
                      
                                           MIA
                               Do they do burgers?
                      
                                           GARY
                               We can always ask.
                      
                      Emma and Neville approach their table. Gary looks from
                      one to the other, puzzled. Neville looks sheepish.
                      
                                           GARY
                               What are you doing here?
                      
                                           EMMA
                               We're staging an intervention.
                               Gary, this has to stop.
                      
                                           GARY
                               Mum, you're embarrassing me.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                   (to Mia)
                               Every year he comes here. With a
                               different girl. Trying to recapture
                               the memory of his lost love. It's
                               not healthy.
                      
                                           MIA
                               Your lost love?
                      
                                           GARY
                               I don't want to talk about it.
                               This isn't about her.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                Tell her, Neville.
                      
                                            NEVILLE
                                Do I have to?
                      
                                            GARY
                                Mum, please, don't do this.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                She ran off with someone else.
                                She waited until Valentine's Day
                                to dump him. He sat here all night
                                alone, waiting for her to turn up.
                                She never did. Five years ago,
                                and it still tears him apart.
                      
                      Mia slowly realizes... the restaurant... the rose...
                      
                                            MIA
                                Today's Valentine's Day.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                That's right. Every year he brings
                                someone different. It never works
                                out and he's heartbroken all over
                                again. I won't have it, Gary.
                                She's gone. You need to move on
                                with your life.
                      
                                            MIA
                                I thought this was for my birthday.
                      
                                               GARY
                                What?
                      
                                            MIA
                                It's my birthday. No one ever
                                remembers. Because of Valentine's
                                Day. It's all flowers and hearts
                                and crap. Everyone forgets about
                                me.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                Never mind her, Gary. She's beneath
                                you. You need to find a nice girl.
                      
                      Mia gets up and exits.  Gary watches her go with regret.
                      
                                            EMMA
                                Neville will help you find someone,
                                won't you, Neville?
                      
                                            NEVILLE
                                I'm as gay as a yellow silk
                                handkerchief, Mrs. Barnsley.
                      
                      Gary gets up and exits after Mia.
                      
                                             EMMA
                                 Gary, no, let her go--
                      
                      
                      EXT. CITY CENTER, NIGHTCLUB STRIP - NIGHT
                      
                      Mia tries to walk proud, but the tears just won't stop.
                      
                      Gary runs after her, calling her name.
                      
                                             GARY
                                 Mia!
                      
                      Mia stops, turns round, he runs up and stops, panting.
                      
                                             GARY
                                 I'm sorry, I didn't know.
                      
                                             MIA
                                 Your mum thinks I'm something she
                                 scraped off her shoe.
                      
                                             GARY
                                 I found a burger van.
                      
                      He opens a polystyrene box. Inside, a burger and chips in
                      greaseproof paper. And the rose from the restaurant.
                      
                                             GARY
                                 Happy birthday, Mia.
                      
                      Mia's smile outshines the moon.  Cue nostalgic pop music
                      track, touching our hearts.
                      
                      FADE OUT

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

                        Code:
                        OYSTERS
                        
                        
                        INT. RAGING HORMONE LAND
                        
                        Quiet darkness. A sudden THUMP. Another. Another. Rhythmic.
                        Almost unsettling...
                        
                        A deep heartbeat. Louder, louder...the beat echoes wildly.
                        A glint of silver cuts through the abyss...closer, closer. A
                        metallic button, its threads hand sewn into the black fabric
                        of a blouse. The threads are intertwined, messy.
                        
                        Above sits a young woman's throat. A crucifix hangs off a
                        fragile gold chain. Her hand snatches it, rubs it like a
                        genie bottle as if hoping for wishes to come true.
                        He strolls towards her. He. Him. The Hunk.
                        
                        Six-foot. Broad shoulders. Chiseled jaw. Penetrating eyes.
                        He makes the Marlboro Man look like Pee Wee Herman.
                        She sniffs the air like an Animal Planet cast member. His
                        percolating testosterone smells like the deep recesses of
                        her animalistic desires...the essence of man-sweat, Brut
                        deodorant & bacon. Yummy.
                        
                        She scans his massive hands. No ring imprisons any of his
                        thick fingers.
                        Yes.
                        
                        He wipes grease from his hands; his stained uniform's name
                        tag says "Hank".
                        
                                             HANK THE HUNK
                                  I wish I had better news,
                                  Ms.Taylor.
                        
                        His Barry White voice melts her dollar-store mascara. She
                        blinks away its black goo.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  Call me Sabrina...please.
                        
                        She snorts in a long multi-sniff.
                        
                                               HANK THE HUNK
                                  Allergies?
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  Huh? Uh, no...um...
                        
                                             HANK THE HUNK
                                   The crank shaft needs to be
                                   replaced. A new one will cost you
                                   but I'll look into a rebuilt.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                        (drunken grin)
                                   That's wonderful.
                        
                                             HANK THE HUNK
                                   The catalyst converter is shot,
                                   too.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                   That's amazing.
                        
                                             HANK THE HUNK
                                   It happens. I'll get it fixed but
                                   I'll need to keep your car for a
                                   few days.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                        (whispers)
                                   Just in time for Valentine's.
                        
                                                HANK THE HUNK
                                   Excuse me?
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                   Uh...just in time for daylight
                                   savings time!
                        
                        He leans into her, reviews the estimate.
                        
                                             HANK THE HUNK
                                   This is the cost for...
                        
                        Raccoon eyes scan the bulges of his arms, roams his massive
                        chest as it rises with each breath. Her heartbeat partners
                        with his, in sync...deep, dizzying...
                        
                        Her chest rises likes a tidal wave, the underwire of her bra
                        strangles her ribcage like barbed wire, hand-sewn button
                        strains against the pressure...
                        POP!
                        
                        Button snaps off.
                        
                        She doesn't notice.
                        
                        He does.
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                       (lazy finger point)
                                  Uh...your...
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                       (animated hand gestures)
                                  I'm so grateful, Hank. What would I
                                  do without you? I mean it's so hard
                                  to find a good mechanic these days.
                        
                        A white bra-in-a-box with way-too-much-elastic is exposed.
                        The dreaded Grandma Bra.
                        
                        The more her hands flail in the air, the more Grandma Bra
                        comes out to play against the black cloth of her blouse.
                        Butt ugly.
                        
                        The other mechanics notice. Whispers, giggles...
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  How are you getting home?
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  Thanks for asking, Hank! Um, I
                                  guess I'll take the bus. I live
                                  just a few miles down.
                        
                        Giggles grow louder. He moves aside to block their view.
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  The bus? Um...you know, I'm going
                                  that way anyway, I'll drop you off.
                                  Give me a minute, okay?
                        
                        She nods profusely. Bliss, happiness, joy. LUST!!!
                        
                        He heads to the back. She whips out a compact, gasps at her
                        smeared make-up.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  How embarrassing!
                        
                        LATER: OUTSIDE GARAGE
                        
                        Sabrina practically skips behind The Hunk. She turns back,
                        waves at the staring mechanics. They wave back at Grandma
                        Bra.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                  Your mechanic friends are very
                                  nice.
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  Yeah. Nice.
                        
                        He Clint Eastwood snarls at the guys. They look away.
                        
                        
                        EXT. MOVING CAR
                        
                        His rugged hand grasps the steering wheel.
                        
                        Her non-manicured hand grasps her skirt.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  This is really nice of you.
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  No problem.
                        
                        He glances, catches an eyeful of Grandma Bra, eyes land back
                        on the road.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  Have you been a long mechanic?
                        
                                              HANK THE HUNK
                                  What?
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  I mean...have you been a mechanic
                                  long?
                        
                        She slaps her forehead. Hard.
                        
                        A red welt sits on her oversize forehead.
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  Since I can remember.
                        
                        He turns the wheel.
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  Is this it?
                        
                        She nods, searches for courage. Before she can say
                        anything...
                        
                        He reaches across, his arm brushes her lap.
                        YOWZA!
                        
                        The car door clicks open. She's about to say...
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  See you Thursday.
                        
                        The car pulls away. She stands exposed on the sidewalk.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                       (to herself)
                                  Yes, Thursday. Valentine's Day.
                        
                        INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
                        
                        She enters, slams the stereo button.
                        
                        Diana Ross TOUCH ME IN THE MORNING sings. She dances, sings
                        along. Until...
                        
                        A full length mirror catches her reflection.
                        
                        Horror scream bounces off the walls.
                        
                        
                        INT. COFFEE SHOP
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  If Janet Jackson recovered, so can
                                  I.
                        
                        She sits across from Marilyn--a young woman who's never met
                        a tweezer.
                        
                                            MARILYN
                                  Do you really think it's okay? Have
                                  you really thought this out?
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  Marilyn, how can you give up
                                  something you've never tried? What
                                  good is giving up chocolate if
                                  you've never tasted it. What good
                                  is giving up oysters if you haven't
                                  swallowed one. How can you call it
                                  a sacrifice if you don't know what
                                  you're missing?
                        
                                            MARILYN
                                  I can give up oysters. They're
                                  slimy.
                                       (She pushes up her glasses)
                                  I don't think Sister Mary Clare
                                  will approve.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  I need to know, Marilyn. I can't
                                  enter the convent without knowing
                                  what it's like. How can I
                                  understand what everyone's fussing
                                  about? I can't relate to sinners. I
                                  can't even relate to any of the
                                  reality shows as it is! I'm so
                                  lost!
                        
                                            MARILYN
                                  I'm lost, too. But I like it that
                                  way.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  He's the one. The right one. The
                                  hot one. He makes me tingle. Our
                                  lovemaking will burn in my memory
                                  forever, leaving me free to do good
                                  work.
                        
                                            MARILYN
                                  What if you don't... like it?
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  Is that possible? Then why is
                                  everybody doing it?
                        
                                            MARILYN
                                  It might be like oysters. Maybe
                                  people pretend to like sucking up
                                  the slimy critters.
                        
                        EEEW!
                        
                        
                        INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
                        
                        Sabrina clutches a tray, races into the living room like
                        Lance Armstrong running from the truth.
                        
                        The Hunk sits on the sofa.
                        
                                            SABRINA
                                  I really appreciate you bringing my
                                  car.
                        
                                            HANK THE HUNK
                                  You said you hurt your foot and
                                  couldn't take the bus.
                        
                        He glances at the healthy limb. She suddenly limps.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                   I hope you like lemonade.
                        
                        He gulps it down. Heads for the door.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                  Stop. Please. Can I talk to you?
                        
                        He turns, sits.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                  Do you have a Valentine's? Special
                                  someone?
                        
                                              HANK THE HUNK
                                   Nope.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                   Would you like one?
                        
                        
                        EXT. CONVENT GARDEN - MORNING
                        
                        Sabrina & Marilyn are draped in traditional nun garb.
                        They're old school.
                        
                                             MARILYN
                                   I really like these tomatoes. And I
                                   especially like the house wine.
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                   Sister Mary Clair knows how to
                                   ferment.
                        
                                             MARILYN
                                   Yeah, baby.
                        
                        Giggles.
                        
                        Marilyn looks around.
                        
                                             MARILYN
                                  You never told me.
                        
                                              SABRINA
                                   What?
                        
                                              MARILYN
                                   Did you?
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                   Let's just say...I'm ready to
                                   commit.
                        
                                             MARILYN
                                        (whispers)
                                   How was it?
                        
                        A moment. Perhaps two...
                        
                                             SABRINA
                                   Oysters.
                        
                                             MARILYN
                                   Oh.
                        
                        
                                             THE END

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