Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

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  • Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

    Once in awhile, I like to check out services that I discuss here. With TV popping up on the Blacklist, I thought this might be a good time…

    Bottom line first: if I were breaking in, the Blacklist would be a no-brainer to try.

    But that doesn't mean I don't have thoughts.

    The script is an hour long dark cable show I wrote a few years ago. It's about the porn industry from 1970 to 1975, when for one brief moment it looked like porn might go mainstream, before the VCR drove it underground.

    Back when I went out with it, I found a few great producers who were passionate, and they targeted a few places that would make this kind of show - we almost got made at one place, got consideration from a few others, where it went up to the presidents of the networks… came close, no cigar. (Yet. I haven't given up on it.)

    So I set up a fake account and uploaded the script, buying two reviews.

    I put up a pretty generic logline - didn't want to attract attention to it and waste producers/reps times reading it when I already have reps. My logline almost discouraged all interest - one producer downloaded it. However, that one producer had a great reaction. Here are the emails:

    Hi xxxx,

    I found your script xxxx off of The Blacklist website and I wanted to write you and tell you that I enjoyed your writing. Would love to know a bit about yourself and what you're currently doing, and maybe arrange a time to speak.

    Best regards,

    xxxx
    I wrote back and told him that I'd found a rep since I posted it, so while I appreciated his offer, I couldn't proceed with him. He replied:

    Understood, but please don't discount my interest in you or your writing - always good to have fans around town. Would love to know who is repping the material and be kept in the loop as to its status.
    So script got read by legit producer who pursued it. Pretty much what one would hope for - and this is me trying to hide it.

    Next comes the two reviews...

  • #2
    Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

    I'll start with the second review I got first. It's the more flattering one, so obviously I have no problems with it.

    Scores:

    Script Rating
    9/10
    Premise
    9/10
    Plot
    9/10
    Character
    9/10
    Dialogue
    10/10
    Setting
    9/10
    Review:

    Era:

    1970s
    Locations:

    New York City, Long Island
    Genre:

    Dramatic Comedy,Drama,Crime Drama,Gangster,Period Drama
    Logline:

    In 1970s New York, two brothers produce pornography films with a ragtag crew, and they must deal with the personal consequences of their transgressive profession.
    Strengths:

    SHOOT is a thoroughly engrossing look at the underground porn industry in the irresistible setting of 1970s New York City. The loose attention to formatting isn't a fair indicator of the expert storytelling and tour de force emotional experience. The plot purposefully glides between drama and comedy with profound insight into the human experience. In one scene, the audience is laughing at ANGIE, the pornographers' leading lady, for her emotional outburst on a porn set about The Beatles breaking up. In later scenes, the audience is brought to the depths of Angie's struggles when her community dehumanizes her in a way that her profession hasn't. There's also a twist involving a seemingly minor character, DEREK, that's genius in execution and adds yet another layer to the multifaceted story. The dialogue is flawless with its pitch perfect voices for the characters, and it organically advances the plot while entertaining with distinct wit that's ready-made for production. There's a perceptive attention to every character, including Angie, Spencer, JEAN, Spencer's ex, and CORMAC, the Vietnam vet providing further period context. Overall, there are too many strengths to list, and the script is an easy recommend.
    Weaknesses:

    The shortcomings of the script are relatively minor. The long montage at the beginning of the script wins points for its cinematic style and purpose, but it takes up a significant chunk of the crucial opening pages in an already lean script (49 pages, not counting the afterword). One potential area to flesh out is Tom's story since Spencer's is so fully realized in comparison. While nearly all of the scenes are written with admirable nuance, the scene between Angie and OFFICER EDMONDS is the heavy-handed exception. A network would likely ask why the group keeps a loose cannon like Cormac around since he doesn't seem to serve any purpose other than the writer's, although there is some acknowledgment upon the character's introduction. Finally, more attention could be paid to the experience of the reader by denoting information like character descriptions, montages, and intercut scenes so as not to prematurely cast doubt on the level of storytelling.
    Prospects:

    SHOOT is very well poised for the current cable marketplace. It's difficult to disagree with anything presented by the afterword on page 50 that smartly differentiates the project from just a "BOOGIE NIGHTS on TV" while also drawing comparisons to MAD MEN. This script carries much more humor given the absurdity of the industry, but it balances its provocative subject matter with exceptional storytelling and social awareness. The intent to show a mirror to the country's prudish attitude toward sex is reminiscent of MASTERS OF SEX and would likely appeal to a similar demographic. However, the series has clearly found its own place, and its uncommon portrayal of life's mix of humor and tragedy, with plenty of watercooler moments along the way, could make SHOOT a breakout.
    Pages:

    49
    Like I said, this reviewer is a fucking genius. (Although I admit loving the "loose attention to formatting" comment, given the debates that rage around here. I'd just point out that it didn't seem to hurt the recommendation it got.)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

      And now the second review. It was a different beast - so different, that I got an offer for a 50% discount on another review...

      First, the scores:

      Script Rating
      6/10
      Premise
      7/10
      Plot
      5/10
      Character
      4/10
      Dialogue
      7/10
      Setting
      7/10
      Wowza! Quite a difference.

      Even more confusing when you look at the strengths as identified by the reader:

      Strengths:

      From beginning to end, this script is extremely compelling, a page-turner and a breeze to read. The bible that follows the script helps to allay any fears that same breeziness might create of the show being a shallow exercise in provocation; rather, it demonstrates that the series is genuinely interested in exploring the cultural moment in which pornography was, however briefly, acceptable. The plot turns in this pilot are surprising but believable, especially the final reveal in the Derek storyline, most of which hinges on the moment when he sees an undercover Fed who he believes might recognize him. Spencer's attempt to balance his unseemly work life with his home life is reminiscent, of course, of Don Draper, but Spencer is much more immediately penetrable and appealing, ensuring that the show won't just tread the same ground. And considering that a lot of the main characters are at best morally questionable--and sometimes downright horrible--the show manages to eke out a little sympathy for nearly everyone at some point. The thematic similarities to Mad Men are indisputable, but the world presented here feels often even further removed from now than the 60s, and that makes this an extremely compelling story to tell.
      And the prospects...

      Prospects:

      The prestige period piece doesn't seem to be going away any time soon, and this script certainly fits the mold set out by Mad Men and Masters of Sex, combining provocative ideas and images with serious rumination on cultural shifts. The script isn't yet where it could be in every aspect, but it's absolutely an appealing concept that would fit right in as a successor to those shows on either basic or premium cable.
      Sounds pretty good! How does that end up with a 6? And a 4 for characters?

      Read on...

      Weaknesses:

      The women in the script are seriously lacking, and while some of that can be excused by the sexism of the era, even Mad Men manages to make its oppressed women have real depth. Angie comes close, but she's still far less fleshed-out than the men; Spencer's ex-wife just comes off as the worst stereotype of the half-crazy nag. This is an industry that needs women to survive; there's a lot of unexplored potential in that idea alone. While ambiguous male leads are in vogue, the script goes a bit too far with some of them. The cafe scene is our first introduction to our main characters, and it centers on them harassing an attractive waitress. Regardless of the the social norms of the time, it starts them in such a negative place that it's hard to recover. Also, a lot of the sensibility and perspective of the script feels too modern. Even in the world outside the pornographers, one never gets a sense that things have changed that much--after all, what modern parents wouldn't be dismayed at learning their daughter starred in a porn flick? Since the show's premise hinges on how different things were then, the script should show those differences starkly.
      The biggest complaint seems to be that this reviewer really didn't like how the women characters were drawn.

      Now, I am a man, so maybe this reviewer is right... but to blow my own horn, I write pretty well for women. The three features I've had made all had female leads, and the pilot I'm shooting right now has gotten a lot of praise and interest from some pretty great actresses.

      This pilot is probably the most male-centric thing I've written in awhile... but it's a show about two brothers. In the porn industry. An industry which is definitely sexist and certainly can be degrading to women. So it's probably not surprising or wrong that the women in this are dealing with sexism and degradation.

      And even with that, I'm proud of the female characters in this. If this ever goes, I have great arcs planned that I've set up here. And the first reviewer didn't seem to bump on this.

      My take, which may be ego driven or wrong: I hit this reviewer in a sensitive spot - so sensitive, that he or she ignored all the positives and gave this script a "pass." And some pretty brutal numbers.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

        Jeff sorry, which review was first, the good one or the ok one?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

          In conclusion…

          I just pulled down the script, so I don't waste any reps or producers' time in reading it.

          If I left it up, my 9 would have gotten it highlighted in the next email. Would it have led to offers of representation? Obviously, I can't prove that it would have, but I'm going to say it would have gotten some reads, and based on the positive review and the reaction of the one producer who read it, I think it would have gotten me a good run.

          If I were trying to break in with this script, this would have been the best 125 bucks I could imagine spending. Instead of getting query letters ignored, I would have had people downloading and seeking it out.

          I'm someone who started out very skeptical about the Blacklist - I think my initial reaction was "great, another service making money off writers." But Franklin's product and customer service had won me over even before this experiment… and this experiment cemented it for me.

          For what my opinion's worth, the Blacklist is a wonderful thing for writers. Wish it had been around when I was starting out.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

            Originally posted by madworld View Post
            Jeff sorry, which review was first, the good one or the ok one?
            They both came in within 24 hours - the 6 was first, the 9 was second.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

              EDIT: This thread has gone haywire...but Jeff Lowell is still a boss.
              Last edited by IGetsBuckets; 02-09-2014, 03:01 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                Originally posted by JeffLowell View Post
                They both came in within 24 hours - the 6 was first, the 9 was second.
                Thanks, that's interesting. Sometimes I find myself curious about how my stuff would measure up against what's circulating. I've got reps, but would have LOVED if this had been around while I was looking. I was a horrible at queries, never had a reply to a query. This seems to streamline that process. Very cool.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                  Jeff, I think you're right about the "soft spot."

                  Regardless of the the social norms of the time, it starts them in such a negative place that it's hard to recover.
                  If that's the reviewers gut reaction to your first scene, then yeah, uphill battle. Which is what it is, the subjectivity/personal taste to the material will always be in play.

                  But your first reviewer is pretty comprehensive in his or her analysis of the script. Very impressed by that.

                  Originally posted by madworld View Post
                  Thanks, that's interesting. Sometimes I find myself curious about how my stuff would measure up against what's circulating. I've got reps, but would have LOVED if this had been around while I was looking. I was a horrible at queries, never had a reply to a query. This seems to streamline that process. Very cool.
                  I actually used the BL when I was looking for reps, and I had the opposite experience. I could only really get traction from queries. Nothing off the BL.

                  But even so, I still fully recommend the BL 3.0 and I'm glad that it exists. It clearly does A LOT for new writers looking to break into the industry (both with and without reps).

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                    Originally posted by IGetsBuckets View Post
                    If that's the reviewers gut reaction to your first scene, then yeah, uphill battle.
                    I agree, after my negative reviewer's take on that first scene, I was going to be in trouble. Opening with a group of pornographers talking a waitress into having anal sex on film is going to be polarizing, I guess.

                    But in the Blacklist's defense - I got an offer of a discount on a second read to make up for that.

                    And even ignoring the good review I got, I would have gone for another read - the bad review still had a lot of praise in it, and it was clear to me that I'd hit a personal issue with this reviewer.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                      I am really glad that Jeff ran this little test.

                      It confirms what I have always believed about the Black List (which I have not used).

                      My belief is that real talent will shine through. In my opinion, even the "bad" review here had a lot of good things to say. And the good review was about as good as any review will ever be, I suspect. The "bad" review probably came from the reviewer's dislike of the subject matter.

                      "The fact that you have seen professionals write poorly is no reason for you to imitate them." - ComicBent.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                        Pretty baller, Jeff.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                          Talked to Franklin, to make sure he didn't want to kill me. He didn't. Phew.

                          And after our conversation... the experiment will continue. I'm going to re-upload with my real name and rep info, and we'll see what kind of interest that 9 gets.

                          Stay tuned.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                            If JeffLowell left the script up, would he qualify for the highlighted email?

                            I thought you needed at least 2 reviews with an average of 8 or higher. Is it an average of 8+ on the overall script rating? Or an 8+ average on any premise/plot/character/dialogue/setting rating? Wouldn't the first review have cancelled out the glowing second review, and not qualifying for the highlighted email?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Blacklist Secret Shopping Experience

                              My understanding is that one overall review of 8+ gets you in the email, no matter what the other ratings are. I think there's a secondary email where an 8+ in categories that pros have expressed interest in (like premise) get the script highlighted to those pros.

                              Comment

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