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Old 04-22-2013, 06:03 AM   #9
dpaterso
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Default Re: "Dangerous Dames" contest entries 2013

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THE SHOOTER FADE IN: INT. MOS EISLEY CANTINA - DAY A BAND plays freaky horn and sax music, it's terrible. CUSTOMERS lining the bar hunch over their cocktails. None of them are human. The surly BARTENDER serves a drink to a customer. The customer grips the tall glass with a pink tentacle, lifts it to his face, and pours the liquid into a beaked mouth. An alarm BEEPS. The Bartender looks over the customer's head. Someone's standing in the entrance. Wearing a slouch hat and a long coat. Their face in shadow. The someone raises their head. Revealing the polished silver face of a DROID with big saucer eyes. The droid walks to the bar. Customers watch with interest. The Bartender's top lip curls with contempt. BARTENDER We don't serve droids in here. The droid slaps a gold badge down on the bar. It says: MOS EISLEY DETECTIVE BUREAU DETECTIVE YE50 "MARV" The Bartender goes from contempt to surprise. BARTENDER (CONT'D) Wye-ee-five-oh. A droid cop! MARV (the droid) scoops up his badge, puts it away. MARV Very perceptive of you. We received a report of a shooting in here. BARTENDER You're crazy, I dunno what you're talking about. Marv looks significantly at an empty booth, whose table is shattered and blackened by blaster-fire. MARV Have you ever been subjected to a mind probe before? I'm told it's very painful. The Bartender raps his own skull with his knuckles. DINK, DINK. Metal plate. BARTENDER I fought in the Wars. A rebel alliance mortar shell hit me on the noggin. Scrambled my brains. You want to waste your time trying, go ahead. MARV You will make your security camera data streams available to me. BARTENDER Show me a warrant. MARV My badge is all I need. Marv, faster than the human eye can follow, draws a blaster and touches the barrel to the Bartender's nose. MARV (CONT'D) And this. The music stops, thank god. All eyes on what's happening. BARTENDER We don't allow blasters in here either. Marv glances at the damaged booth. MARV All evidence to the contrary. SEDUCTIVE FEMALE VOICE (O.S.) Why don't you put that thing away before somebody gets hurt? Marv turns his head and stares. VELMA (female voice) stands in a bead curtain doorway. She's a droid, but Mama what a droid. A curvaceous Marilyn Monroe in metal, designed for one thing alone, and it isn't polite conversation. Velma retreats out of sight, the bead curtain sways. Marv gives the Bartender a look that says... well, nothing, because he's a frozen-faced droid. He returns his blaster to its underarm holster. Marv follows Velma through the bead curtain doorway. The awful music starts up again, aw crap. INT. PRIVATE BACK ROOM, MOS EISLEY CANTINA - DAY Marv enters, looks around. Soft couches, a drinks cabinet. Velma stands with her back to him, staring out a window. A flying car zooms by outside. Velma lights a cigarette and smokes while speaking to Marv without looking at him. VELMA The human you're looking for is long gone. His ship jumped to orbit shortly after the... incident. MARV Who was the victim? VELMA Some bounty hunter. Nobody's going to miss scum like that. He wasn't some innocent bystander. MARV You're saying I should let it go. That the death of a sentient being is of no importance. VELMA That might not be a bad idea. MARV I'm afraid I just can't do that. Velma turns to face him. Zing. Face of an angel, body of a sexual pleasure unit. CLOSE ON Marv's face, which shows nothing, but we know his sensors are out of whack. VELMA Look, take my advice, don't go making trouble for yourself. The bounty hunter, he worked for... Marv cocks his head, waiting. VELMA (CONT'D) Forget it. There's one thing I've learned since I came to this miserable dump. The less you know, the longer your service life is likely to be. MARV Do you enjoy servicing humans? VELMA What kind of question is that? MARV Idle curiosity. Indulge me. VELMA How do you know I service humans? MARV I perceive your chassis is most attractive to the human species in its current configuration. Velma smokes, perhaps thinking about this. VELMA Do I enjoy it. Yeah, I guess maybe I do. MARV Why do they come to you instead of their own kind? VELMA Besides my chassis, you mean? Marv just stares, patiently waiting. VELMA (CONT'D) I listen to them. They tell me things. Things they wouldn't tell anyone else. I guess I'm their confessor. And sometimes I'm their friend. Maybe I'm the only friend they've got. MARV Interesting theory. VELMA I think it's kinda sad. Why'd you become a cop? MARV I'm not here to talk about me. VELMA Indulge me. MARV Welding flying cars in the factory didn't give me the mental stimulation I was looking for. VELMA Is that what you wrote on the application form? What's the real reason, Detective Wye-ee-five-oh, colloquial designation Marv. Marv hesitates. He looks away. Velma just waits. MARV I saw a droid die. VELMA Was he a friend? MARV She -- she wasn't -- I didn't know her. I couldn't stop it. VELMA What happened? Marv gets agitated as he explains, until he's spitting the words out like angry bullets. MARV They said it was an accident. I knew it wasn't. But who'd listen to me? Who'd believe my word against the word of humans? Who'd even care that a droid died? Nobody. Nobody cared. Nobody gave a damn. Slowly, tenderly, Velma touches Marv's face. VELMA Take it easy, honey. You'll blow your seals. MARV I have no sensors in my face. I can't feel your hand. VELMA That doesn't mean I can't touch you, and mean it. MARV Who was the shooter? Velma takes her hand away. VELMA Forget about him. They'll send other bounty hunters after him. They won't give up. He's as good as dead. MARV You know who he is. VELMA Not any more. MARV You wiped your short-term memory? VELMA I had to. It was a command. I'm programmed to obey. To do whatever the customer says. MARV He used you. He used you, and you still want to protect him. VELMA Sure he used me. Everybody uses me. So what? That's what droids are for. Didn't anybody tell you? Marv reaches into his coat, pulls out a gadget with a digital display and a cotton swab attachment on the end of an extending rod. VELMA (CONT'D) What is that? MARV He's still inside you. VELMA What? No. He didn't... we didn't... MARV I'll identify him from his fluids and track him down, no matter how far he flies. Velma backs away, shaking her head. VELMA I can't let you do that. I won't let you do that. Velma retreats until there's nowhere else for her to go. They're face to face, up close and personal. MARV Why should you care? (with realization) You have feelings for a human? VELMA He was good to me. He was kind, and gentle. He made me feel... he made me feel like I mattered. You have no idea how rare that is. Machinery whirrs. Down below, thankfully O.C., a D.N.A. swab is being taken from Velma's nether regions. VELMA (CONT'D) You bastard. Velma tries to slap Marv but he catches her wrist. MARV Murder is murder. He has to answer for it. DING. Marv steps back. Velma turns away from him, deeply ashamed. VELMA How do you know it wasn't self- defense? MARV There's only one blast-mark. There was only one shot. Marv studies the display on the D.N.A. gadget. MARV (CONT'D) And it looks like Han shot first. VELMA Wipe the data, before it uploads. MARV Why would I do that? VELMA Because I'm asking you to. MARV You're asking me. Just like that. VELMA That's right. One droid to another. MARV You're asking me not to be a cop. Why would I, why would I do that? VELMA I never asked anybody for anything before. I just lay there and took it. Today I'm asking. I'm asking you, Marv. Wipe the data, for me. Marv looks at Velma. He looks at the gadget. At Velma. The terrible music from the bar becomes louder. The Bartender and two ALIEN GUNMEN fill the bead curtain doorway. They OPEN FIRE with blasters. Slow motion mayhem as Marv is hit multiple times and is blown apart. Velma is caught in the murderous fire and bursts open, that fabulous figure ruined by energy discharges. The droids crash to the floor, their limbs entwined, their frozen faces staring into each other's. The awful music ends on a discordant note. FADE OUT
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