Re: Pilot Question on an Act Out
If the victim does die, then I agree it would be better to end the scene before the actual killing shot.
For the second question... having it shown later, through footage... seems to spoil the rhythm.
Why not just cut the scene as the roof comes crushing down on them?
The rest of the train doesn't have that security capsule, so you could have a EXT shot of the disaster, with the car in front being smashed and crushed as it hits the ground--from front to back, gradually.
As THEIR car begins to hit the ground and being crushed, you'd cut to INT. and see their roof caving in and END OF ACT.