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Old 11-01-2011, 04:38 AM   #6
dpaterso
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Location: Caledonia
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Default Re: Halloween entries - 2011 challenge

HARD CIDER

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT

Pint-sized ghosts, zombies and superheroes sprint from house
to house, dodging "For Sale" signs, as they hunt for their
next sugar fix.

Larry (37), model suburbanite sporting a Detroit Lions
jersey, huddles in a misty rain on a street corner with his
neighbor, STAN (40), a jittery, Brooklyn transplant.

STAN
It's tough right now, but things'll
get better. Give it time.

He raises a pint of schnapps.

STAN (CONT'D)
To a new beginning.

Stan takes a swig, passes the bottle. Larry toasts.

LARRY
To bankruptcy.

Stan glances at his watch.

STAN
Where the hell is he?

LARRY
He's always late, been that way
since we were young.

Stan's wife, FAYE (36), strolls up to the men, peeks from
under an umbrella, points a flashlight.

FAYE
We're taking the kids 'round the
block.

Stan shields his eyes from the blinding light.

STAN
Okay, dear. Uh, we're just waiting
for Tony. We'll catch up.

Faye rolls her eyes.

FAYE
Bunch of kids. We got Uncle Abe's
shiva in the morning, so don't be
too late.

She ducks under the umbrella, walks away.

Stan nudges Larry.

STAN
Now there's some bad luck, poor
sonofabitch died right on
Halloween.

TONY (32), crewcut, goatee, tall and handsome, jogs up to
Larry and Stan.

TONY
Hey guys.

STAN
Where the hell ya been?

TONY
Sorry, I had to give a friend a
ride home from work.

STAN
Don't you mean she rode you home
from work? When you gonna get
married, settle down?

Tony smiles.

TONY
I see your daughter's home from
college.

Stan shoves Tony.

STAN
**** you, you pervert bastard.

Tony snatches the liquor bottle from Larry, pats him on the
back.

TONY
Hey man, how ya been.

LARRY
I'm good.

TONY
Damn, not gonna be the same without
you. When you leavin'?

LARRY
Not sure, maybe tomorrow night if I
can get a flight.

Larry checks his watch.

LARRY (CONT'D)
Let's go, we got two minutes.

The trio joins a group of men lurking outside a tricked out
bungalow - skeletons, bloody zombies and ghosts dancing in
the light of a flickering strobe.

Tony whispers to his buddies.

TONY
Remember last year?

LARRY
Marilyn Monroe.

TONY
Yeah, best one yet. I still can't
figure out how that dude got outta
there.

STAN
Just remember to say "treat."

LARRY
Shhh, here she comes!

Tony's eyes widen, his mouth agape.

TONY
Whoa, definitely tops last year.

EXT. BUNGALOW - NIGHT

SADIE HACKETT (32), slips through the doorway, a dead ringer
for Goldie Hawn's Private Benjamin character. Her golden
tresses flow from a military cap, onto breasts barely
restrained by a skimpy camouflage halter top.

Stan and Tony squeeze their way to the front of the crowd.

She descends the porch stairs.

SADIE
Fall in line, soldiers.

Her long legs scissor from under a leather miniskirt.

The men scramble into position like a bunch of schoolboys.

Stan whispers to Tony.

STAN
Reminds me of my ex.

TONY
No, that would be a blood-sucking
vampire.

Sadie unsheathes a leather horsewhip, seductively slides her
hand along its length. She walks the line, inspecting her
recruits.

SNAP. Stan flinches when the horsewhip smacks against his
shoulder.

SADIE
Trick or treat, soldier?

STAN
Uh, treat.

She glares at Stan.

SADIE
You sure soldier?

STAN
Uh, yes sir, uh, I mean, yes ma'am.

Sadie pulls a cigar from under her halter top, slips it into
Stan's pants pocket.

SADIE
At ease.

Stan exhales deeply. Sadie peers up at Tony.

SADIE (CONT'D)
What about you stretch?

Tony smiles, turns to Stan, winks.

TONY
That'll be a trick, Ma'am.

Sadie snaps the whip toward the ground.

SADIE
Very well, drop down and give me
twenty, soldier.

Tony drops to his knees and pounds out twenty pushups with
ease, jumps to his feet and salutes.

She flicks the whip toward the house.

SADIE (CONT'D)
Wait for me on the porch, Private.

TONY
Yes ma'am!

Larry sprints toward the house.

SADIE
The rest of you, fall out.

She flings open a cooler, tosses a beer can at Larry.

SADIE (CONT'D)
Happy Halloween, boys. Help
yourselves.

INT. BUNGALOW - NIGHT

Sadie leads Tony into the foyer. She tosses the whip onto a
table, removes her cap, gestures into the living room.

SADIE
Have a seat. Would you like some
spiced cider?

TONY
Sure, thanks.


LIVING ROOM

Tony takes a seat on the only piece of furniture in the room -
a Victorian sofa covered in clear plastic. Under the sofa, a
blue plastic drop cloth. He scans the barren walls.

TONY (CONT'D)
Getting ready to redecorate?

Sadie enters with two steaming cups. She hands one to Tony,
then takes a seat next to him on the sofa. Tony gulps the
cider.

SADIE
Actually, I keep it this way. Works
best for my clients.

She takes a sip from her cup. Tony leans over, slides his
hand over Sadie's breast.

TONY
Works for me, too.

Sadie places her hand on Tony's thigh.

SADIE
Just a minute.

She rises, strolls to the window, pulls the blinds closed.

SADIE (CONT'D)
How's it going with Liz?

Tony swallows hard.

TONY
Liz?

Sadie returns to the sofa.

SADIE
I heard it's been quite a romance.

TONY
Nah, we're just friends. Damn shame
between her and Larry.

Flushed, beads of sweat forming on his brow, Tony unzips his
jacket.

TONY (CONT'D)
Hot in here.

Sadie strides to the middle of the room.

SADIE
That's normal.

TONY
What? What's normal?

He blinks, tries to clear his head.

SADIE
It's a bit uncomfortable at first.

Frothy saliva forms at the corners of Tony's mouth. The cup
slips from his hand, crashes to the floor. A wave a nausea
hits Tony.

TONY
(slurred)
You ****in' bitch.

He staggers from the sofa, lunges at Sadie, but his legs turn
to jelly. He collapses on the plastic tarp, vomiting and
convulsing.

INT. GARAGE - NIGHT

Larry loads a heavy rolled blue tarp into the back of rented
moving van, then slides the door closed.

SADIE (O.S.)
Tony's just booked a midnight
flight to Oregon.

She flicks on a flashlight.

SADIE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Let me see.

Larry turns. Sadie holds the light to his face....

Larry in makeup, transformed into TONY.

Sadie dabs a cottonball to blend makeup across Larry's
prosthetic nose.

SADIE (CONT'D)
Perfect.

Larry opens the van's driver door, slides behind the wheel,
then ducks his head out the window.

LARRY
Thanks for everything. Tell Liz
goodbye for me.

Sadie smiles.

SADIE
From Larry or Tony?

LARRY
Larry who?

He slams the door. The van rumbles to life, rolls out of the
garage.
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.



Last edited by dpaterso : 11-01-2011 at 11:43 AM. Reason: my bad!
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