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Old 02-15-2013, 03:15 AM   #4
dpaterso's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 6,976
Default Re: Entries - Voluptuous Valentines contest

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT FADE IN Cash. Lots of it. The machine counts and sorts. Feminine hands wrap the notes into packets and scribble on the wrappers. The packets are added to a growing stack. INT. FIRST NATIONAL BANK BRANCH - DAY CINDY BRODY, 24, cute, blows her auburn hair out of her eyes and positions the last of the packets. Taps the keys of her computer and turns to MRS. ANTONIO, 50, short, fat, grumpy and waiting at the teller window. Cindy hands her the receipt. CINDY Here, you are Mrs. Antonio. Anything else I can do for you today? The woman just looks at her. Takes her receipt and empty cash bag. Trundles to the exit. CINDY Have a nice day! The bank branch is empty. Cindy turns to her co-worker JANINE EVANS a 30-something black woman with a bad case of bank teller's butt. JANINE Aren't you just too happy. CINDY It's Thursday. He comes in on Thursday. JANINE Oh, we know. She shares a look with the branch manager RICK CERVANTES, 35, chubby, trying to fight his way up the bank's management ladder. He checks the wall clock. RICK He's late, isn't he? Cindy notices the silver BMW pull up. CINDY Nope. Right on time. Cindy fidgets. Rearranges the pens in the cup. Blows her hair out of her eyes. Again. BROOKS RICHARDSON crosses the parking lot. He looks all of his 27 years of privilege. Open collar under the expensive sportcoat. Italian shoes. Sunglasses that cost more than Cindy's car. Then he's there. Right in front of her. The whitest smile money can buy. BROOKS Hi. CINDY Hi. Eyes meet. Angels sing. Rick clears his throat. CINDY Uhm. How can I help you today? BROOKS I seem to have forgotten a deposit slip. RICK Right over there at the counter. CINDY I have some right here! Too excited. She slides a slip across the counter. Finger tips touch. Were those actual sparks? Brooks pulls a Mont Blanc and the fountain pen scrawls on the form. Slides it and a check across. CINDY How would you like the cash back? Twenties? BROOKS Fifties and your phone number? The smile goes to 1500 watts. Cindy glances at Rick. He's watching like a hawk. CINDY I'm sorry, sir. It's against bank policy... Rick smiles triumphantly. CINDY ...for me to tell you it's 714-555- 3720. Brooks smiles. Winks at Rick. BROOKS Got it. How about dinner next Thursday? CINDY That's Valentines. BROOKS Yeah. I know. Swoon. INT. BANK - VALENTINES DAY Cindy wears a pink blouse and an excited, hopeful grin. The bank displays a half-hearted attempt at Valentine's decorations, but Cindy's station is festooned with pink and red hearts, bunting and balloons. She slides the receipt and a heart shaped lollipop across the counter to Mrs. Antonio with a smile. CINDY Happy Valentines Day, Mrs. Antonio! The old woman looks at the sucker. MRS. ANTONIO I'm diabetic. She trundles off. Leaving the candy. The door is opened for her. It's Brooks. Again with the smile. Cindy frowns. Checks the wall clock. CINDY You're early... BROOKS Couldn't wait to see you. Rick walks through behind Cindy, rolling his eyes. CINDY How can I help -- The doors explode in. TWO MEN in black ski masks. Long dark coats come open. Shotguns. The police report will say that both are medium build. Caucasian. One with a slight limp. The other does all the yelling. ROBBER (yelling) EVERYBODY! Get down! Now. Hands go up instantly. The excited Robber moves to Brooks. ROBBER I said DOWN! Move it pretty boy. Brooks turns. Eyes go wide. He thinks a beat. If he could just -- THUNK! The butt of the gun in his gut. Brooks doubles over. Crumples to the floor. Cindy SCREAMS. ROBBER SHUT UP! The gun barrel levels to her wide eyes. She catches her breath. Rick takes a baby step toward the silent alarm switch. The BLAST of the gunshot freezes him. Everyone looks to the Limping Robber. He's blown the security camera off the wall. Wires dangle from the smoking hole. The Yelling Robber points his weapon at Rick. ROBBER That's you if you aren't on the ground right ****ING NOW! Rick hits the floor faster than the camera. The gun levels on Cindy. A canvas laundry bag is shoved across to counter. ROBBER Fill that. Now. She scrapes Mrs Antonio's stack of cash into the bag. Hesitates a second. ROBBER Don't even think about the dye pack. He looks around the empty lobby. Points to the door at the end of the teller cage. ROBBER Open it. He shadows Cindy to the door. She steps over Janine. Opens the door. He grabs her arm. ROBBER Give me hers - Hurry. Cindy opens the cash drawer. Fills the bag. She's shaking like a leaf. IN THE LOBBY the Limping Robber approaches Brooks. Nudges him with the shotgun. LIMPING ROBBER Get up. Brooks stands uneasily. LIMPING ROBBER You're driving. BROOKS Look, there's no need for -- The shotgun argues otherwise. It moves to his midsection. LIMPING ROBBER You. Are. Driving. Cindy is marched into the lobby. Hands on her head. Fighting tears. The other shotgun in her back. ROBBER She's coming with us. Brooks glares at the robber. BROOKS You've got me. You don't need her. The shotgun waves his direction. The robber admires Cindy. ROBBER I like her. Brooks' eyes are daggers. ROBBER Move it. The Limping Robber herds them to the door. BEHIND THE COUNTER Janine and Rick are on the ground. A shout from the lobby. ROBBER ANYBODY moves in the next five minutes, I will blow her head clean off. Janine looks to Rick. A wordless debate. She motions him to the silent alarm. Rick shakes his head "NO." She's adamant. Finally she gives up on him. Gets to her knees. Starts for the alarm button. ROBBER I said five minutes. He's at the end of the counter. Janine's eyes go wide. The Robber points his finger at her as a pistol. ROBBER Boom. Janine lowers herself back to the floor. The robber is gone. Rick's expression says he told her so. INT. BMW - DAY The robbers sit in the back seats, hidden from traffic by the dark window tint. Brooks drives. Cindy is stoic but scared in the passenger seat. BROOKS OK, you're out. Let her go. You don't need her. Behind him the Yelling Robber nudges the seat back with the gun. ROBBER You need to remember the only thing between her and this 12 gauge is a little Corinthian leather. Brooks glares into the mirror. Cindy gives him a worried glance. ROBBER Blindfold her. Do her hands. Now she's really scared. She holds her hands up. The Limping Robber wraps a ziptie around them. Then produces a black hood. CINDY'S POV - The hood comes down and the world goes black. OVER BLACK. The brakes squeal. A turn signal clicks. The car accelerates. Brakes squeal again. He should fix that. ROBBER (V.O.) Over there. Brakes. The engine is shut off. BROOKS Let her go. She is just -- ROBBER Shut the hell up. THE LIMPING ROBBER Get out of the car. TIGHT ON THE BLACK HOOD. The Robber leans in and whispers. ROBBER I'm putting a web cam on the dash. It goes to my cellphone. Count backwards from one hundred. You move before zero and pretty boy here won't be quite so pretty anymore. BLACKNESS again. Three doors open and close. ROBBER I can just do her here and be done with it. BROOKS If you hurt her... ROBBER What? You'll shoot me in the foot? Nearby, three doors open and close. Another engine starts and the other car pulls away. Blackness. CINDY Ninety nine... Ninety eight... Ninety seven... INT. BMW - DAY Cindy sits in the car. Hooded. CINDY ... four, three, two... one. Her ziptied hands slowly move from her lap to the hood. She lifts it. Tentatively. Peeks out. The far edge of a supermarket parking lot. There is no web cam on the dash. ON THE DRIVER'S SEAT - a red envelope. She opens the Valentine. Across the red heart, a fountain pen has scrawled - "Sorry about this. It would have been great!" FADE OUT
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.

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