Paying Homage... How to Format this Scene...

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  • #16
    Re: Paying Homage... How to Format this Scene...

    Originally posted by bioprofessor View Post
    Code:
                  
                   INT. MUSEUM EXHIBIT HALL - DAY
     
                   A string QUARTET fills the air with a Bach concerto.
     
                   Mesmerized by the hall's grandeur and beauty, Cassie pivots 
                   to take it all in...
    Bio, nice. I visualized everything but when they first enter the Hall.

    Is the huge room deserted except for the paintings and perhaps a string quartet?

    Does the music captivate them?

    I think it would be more effective it you show us what mesmerizes Cassie rather than tell us she is mesmerized by grandeur and beauty.

    Just some thoughts to kick up the introduction to the scene.

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    • #17
      Re: Paying Homage... How to Format this Scene...

      Wow, lots of great feedback here to mull over...

      Consider: Intercut Cassie moving around and Lizzy staying put.

      I know what you're going for with the POV of various paintings, but, in the film, how will we know who's POV it is?
      I thought if I had Cassie spinning, wide-eyed, and the next thing we saw were the shots of art work, it would be obvious, but maybe not. Maybe if the director had the camera panning past the pieces?
      The description of the peasant woman painting sounds more like movement rather than a "snapshot".
      Good point. I'll have to make that clearer.

      Nexus - I love your rewrite - clean, concise, looks much better on the page. I think I'll use it. Thank you!

      what if those art pieces aren't on show at the time the movie is shot?
      - are items in a museum in any way copywrited - the same way as songs or book quotes? (excuse ignorance here).
      Good questions, Steve. My hunch is no. Do museum usually prohibit video recording devices? It'd be interesting to find out if John Hughes had to do anything besides get permission to shoot in the Chicago Art Museum.
      Is the huge room deserted except for the paintings and perhaps a string quartet?

      Does the music captivate them?

      I think it would be more effective it you show us what mesmerizes Cassie rather than tell us she is mesmerized by grandeur and beauty.
      Thanks jp. You're right, I got a bit lazy there. I envision this scene being in the Crocker Museum in SF. Problem is, I've never stepped foot inside it, so I have no way of knowing what its exhibit hall looks like. Their website only shows the art pieces in their collection. I'll be in LA next Nov. for a conference, so I just might have to head north and do a little research.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Paying Homage... How to Format this Scene...

        My earlier suggestion (Lizzy grabs Cassie's hand and pulls her inside.) was a homage of my own. Maybe I should have written, "Lizzy grabs Cassie's hand and pulls her toward the door. At the last moment Cassie grabs the guard's hand and the three snake their way through the main entrance."

        If you ever make it to S.F., turn right to Sacramento.
        "I am the story itself; its source, its voice, its music."
        - Clive Barker, Galilee

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        • #19
          Re: Paying Homage... How to Format this Scene...

          Originally posted by TwoBrad Bradley View Post
          My earlier suggestion (Lizzy grabs Cassie's hand and pulls her inside.) was a homage of my own. Maybe I should have written, "Lizzy grabs Cassie's hand and pulls her toward the door. At the last moment Cassie grabs the guard's hand and the three snake their way through the main entrance."

          If you ever make it to S.F., turn right to Sacramento.
          Thanks TwoBrad. Good stuff. Your first, "... pulls her inside," was exactly what I intended. I wanted it to look like that old vaudeville gag where the hook suddenly appears and yanks the performer off the stage.

          Oops. The Crocker's in Sacramento, of course.

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Paying Homage... How to Format this Scene...

            Originally posted by Nexus9 View Post
            I think you can get away without the implied camera shots. Consider(?):

            Code:
                           
                           CASSIE'S P.O.V. - QUICK SHOTS OF CLASSIC EUROPEAN ART
             
                           A.  Millet's Sewing Lesson.
             
                           B.  Romanelli's Columbia bust.
             
                           C.  Wichmann's Madonna and Child.
             
                           D.  van Oosterwyck's Rose and Butterfly.
             
                           E.  Cagnacci's Allegory of Life.
             
                           BACK TO SCENE
             
                           Lizzy stands before Millet's famous oil painting, [I]The
                           Gleaners.[/I]  Entranced.  Eyes riveted, staring deeply into--
             
                           The Painting -- A dust-covered peasant women stoops
                           to gather stray grains in a barren field.
             
                           Lizzy's Eyes fill with tears, wide with astonishing wonder.
            Just a suggestion. Take or leave as you wish. I just don't think you need to break it up shot for shot like that here.
            Nice rewrite, Nexus. Nice scene, Bio.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Paying Homage... How to Format this Scene...

              Originally posted by altoption View Post
              Nice rewrite, Nexus. Nice scene, Bio.
              Thanks altoption. Nexus's rewrite is perfect for what I wanted to do.

              I'm nearing the homestretch. I'll take you up on your read offer - probably sometime in mid-Jan.

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