Introduction - Advice Appreciated

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  • Introduction - Advice Appreciated

    Hey all. Great to be a part of this board. I'm certain I'm going to learn a lot here. I was hoping I can pick some of your minds.

    A bit about me. I'm 27. I'm from Detroit. I majored in English. For money, I write personal statements for people. Mostly med, law, phd students, and ppl going into residency and fellowships. It's a pretty cool job in that you get to ask strangers anything about their lives while interviewing them. No filters. No shields. It's all transparent, and has to be (if you want to get into somewhere elite). And you get to hear some crazy stories. I've been doing this for about 8 years now, and in that 8 years, I've also been writing screenplays.

    I've always been the type of guy who would get all A's. I have always been a good writer with a vivid imagination. And at the same time, I have always been directionless. I always struggle to make tough life decisions. Out of H.S., I chose to go to a local university in Detroit on a full ride instead of pursuing an Ivy League offer. I had a job for the CIA out of college and I rejected it. I always seem to make the wrong decisions.

    There's been so much pressure on me my whole life, and I feel like it's a curse. People laugh at me for what I do. I thought why work for a company when I can make double doing this. My dad is ashamed at my job -- he says I'm helping people cheat and it's unethical. He also disapproves of my writing career, and says I should have been a doctor or a lawyer. He's embarrassed by me, and I'm embarrassed by myself. I feel like I've lost my confidence. But I still believe in what I'm doing, for some reason. I want to get up and just move to L.A. and leave this negative world, and I can't seem to do it.

    I have written 4 scripts so far in 8 years. I know it's not a lot, but much of that time was dedicated to reading how to books like Save the Cat, Invisible Ink, and any good script I could get my hands on. Only 1 script I've written is good in my opinion. But it only received a 7 out of 10 on the blacklist. After that, I felt deflated and I went back into my shell of misery and failure. And could hear my dad's voice in my head. All these years later, I could have been a lawyer, or a doctor, and I just got a C- on my script... the worst grade I ever received in my life. It motivated me to want to come back stronger, but also led me to ask, was my dad right?

    They say a strong relationship can conquer anything. But we have climbed no mountains. We have mounted no flags. We have only attempted to sail uncharted waters only to sink or be shipwrecked with no food or water and only a flair gun, a trigger that tempted me so many times. But I keep drowning over and over again because the reality is I never wanted to be saved. The reality is you made me delusional. You've selfishly taken my mind and polluted it and filled it with lofty ideas and images and delusions of grandeur. Worst of all you've given me hope. And you do your best to make everything feel so real before you snatch it away. I have given you everything and you have abandoned me. And even through all that, I can't escape you. I can't stop writing. Why do I always come back here. Why. Am I throwing my life away?

    I want to submit my work to the Francis Ford Coppola contest. He is also from Detroit. What else should I be doing? I've heard of the tracking board, and just querying agents -- but I don't have any other work ready except one script. I don't even think I'm at a level to be querying anyone. All I have in 8 years is one piece of good material.

    I'm going to work on more.

    I want to leave this city. I want to leave this negative place. Why can't I just get up and do it like a normal person? What kind of person calls himself a writer and gets a C- on a piece he thought was good?

    I'm broken. That's what I am. And here I am trying to pick up the pieces. And when they crumble again, I'll still be here. The person I was at 20 is gone. I was the type of guy everyone wanted to meet and be around. I felt smarter when I was 20. I was grading papers for my English teacher's masters class. I was more social. I was making a difference in anything I was doing. I was a contributing member of society. And now I've taken so much rejection and verbal abuse... I'm lost. I lost myself along the way. I'm crying as I write this message.

    The only thing I haven't lost is my will to write. To write screenplays specifically.

    What do I need to do, and how can I overcome my trepidation and just do it?

  • #2
    Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated.

    While it is true that delusions of grandeur have little chance to be satisfied in the back room career of a screenwriter, please don't let a black list score steal your self-esteem. I'm living my dream and the best grade I got on blacklist was a 7. Also, I started writing scripts at 37. You still have plenty of time! Please cheer up.

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    • #3
      Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

      We all started that way. It was years before I wrote anything that gained real traction.

      Don't worry about your dad. We've all been through that too. I remember the "I'm quitting my job to be a screenwriter" conversation. He didn't sh*t on the idea, but there was little optimism either. And my mother had this annoying tendency to compliment me on my patience every chance she got. Hell, she still does it out of habit, even though I've been working for years.

      Keep writing, keep networking. And it sounds like you need a change of scene. But don't half-ass it, if you decide to move to LA, BE that guy you remember, shake things up and throw yourself in with both feet. Consider finding a job as an assistant or work in production to learn the biz while you hone your craft. It sounds daunting to jump in fully, but that's how it works. Dabbling in hopes of a miracle isn't the way to go. Good luck!
      https://twitter.com/DavidCoggeshall
      http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1548597/

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      • #4
        Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

        Originally posted by VinnyJay View Post
        What kind of person calls himself a writer and gets a C- on a piece he thought was good?
        I love that people are being so encouraging. I'll add in: REMEMBER - a Black List score is supposed to reflect how likely on a scale of 1-10 the reader would recommend the script to someone in his/her office/prod co. A 7 means it's somewhat likely. It's not a C-.

        Keep at it and know that Detroit is not only a great source of stories, but a relatively inexpensive place to live before you make the move to LA.

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        • #5
          Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

          Hi Vinny,

          It sounds like your question is as much a psychological one as a screenwriting one.

          I would encourage you, if you haven't already, to consider reaching out a mental health professional.

          When a person grows up with a parent/parents who repeatedly puts them down, it is a process to learn to reclaim your own narrative and filter out those negative voices.

          Screenwriting is a field ripe with rejection. Pros get told "No" most of the time. It can be challenging to develop coping mechanisms, even if you don't have toxic parental tapes playing in your head.

          You deserve to get to a place where you are happy and proud with your career decisions because you are are living your truth. Therapy can be a tool to help you get there.
          Last edited by Writerla; 02-18-2017, 01:21 PM.

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          • #6
            Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

            Don't forget that your '7' from The Black List was just from a single reader.

            The world's a tough place, and screenwriting is a particularly trying industry, but that certainly doesn't mean you won't survive and/or find success. (There are far too many stories of amazing films made from amazing screenplays that got overlooked by far too many people for far too long!) You will have to have more faith in yourself and your story than anyone else in the world. You also need to have a thick skin.

            Regardless of what field you get in or what job you do, NEVER let yourself be defined by others-- especially your family, well-intentioned as they may or may not be

            Hang in there and best of luck!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

              Originally posted by VinnyJay View Post
              What kind of person calls himself a writer and gets a C- on a piece he thought was good?
              Pretty much every writer that ever existed. Every single successful writer in every field has experienced setbacks and rejections. They are meaningless, you learn from them if you can but focus more on what you learn from any successes.

              I'm broken. That's what I am. And here I am trying to pick up the pieces. The only thing I haven't lost is my will to write. To write screenplays specifically.
              Most writers lead 'normal' lives, which means they all have personal issues to deal with to a greater or lesser degree and the insight they have from their personal lives often helps to inform the themes they deal with in their writing. If there are particular personal issues that you feel are impeding a normal life then of course seek the appropriate professional assistance to manage these. Just remember that setbacks and obstacles are normal for a writing career and don't make you less worthy as a person.
              "Friends make the worst enemies." Frank Underwood

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              • #8
                Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                Trying to get a career in the arts is tough and takes a psychological and mental toll. I would tell anyone who wants to get into to don't bother. Spend your life doing something else.

                Over the years I've met a lot of aspiring actors, writers, directors, singers, dancers etc. To all of these people (me included) they can't imagine themselves doing anything else. They really, really want it. The problem is not everyone will get to work in their industry. Some just aren't cut out for it. Some really do give up and do something else, only to return to it in their twilight years for that "one last shot".

                It is an industry rife with rejection and it doesn't stop when you break in. In fact you never really break in. You're a freelancer on borrowed time. And your current job might be your last. You gotta be in it for the long haul. Learn from every experience and rejection. Keep your ego in check, be humble, and keep writing.

                The key is to live a balanced life. Don't make this passion of yours be your whole life. Fill it with other things. Relationships, travel experiences, side hobbies etc. Otherwise, you're on the fast track to depression. And most of us already have frequent rail passes.

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                • #9
                  Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                  Don't give up. I started writing in my early 30s. Got my first staff job at around 34 and never looked back. Also, try your hand at TV. That's where the jobs are happening.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                    I think this thread should maybe be a sticky OR we should have some kind of "don't jump off the ledge" positive/encouragement thread.

                    A long time ago I started collecting encouraging stories about people who struggled. One of my favorites was Mel Blanc.

                    Mel Blanc, the voice of nearly all Warner Brothers' cartoons, went to Warner Brothers every two weeks for TWO YEARS asking for an audition. They always told him "Thanks, we already have all the voices we need." Fortunately, he was determined and finally bonded with another musician at the studio who listened to his voices and then got him an audition.

                    It's a TERRIBLE, UGLY blog - I think the Internet has changed since I first did it because the formatting is all off and a lot of the videos are gone.
                    But here it is, if anyone wants to check it out.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                      Go to any bookstore and go to the fiction aisle and just start turning over books until you see the dust jacket of a book where the author looks 27. You will be there a while. So you didn't move people with a script. What did you learn from that? Did you work as hard as you could on it? Was it a sound, well thought out concept?

                      When people do not respond to a script with the same passion with which you wrote it, most likely your structure is off.

                      Structure has endless possibilities to it, which makes it very hard to crack.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                        The pressure for instant success in this industry is not helpful and not realistic regardless of previous life success in school and is not dependent upon academic achievement (although it can help). Better to have hope and tempered expectations than rigid 1+1=2 so then because of this and that I should be successful type approach.
                        It's a lot of hard work and even then there's no guarantee that hard work = success in this industry. Keep trying. Keep learning. Keep refining and Keep evolving and don't give up.
                        You know Jill you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda and the finest woman that ever lived. Whoever my father was, for an hour or for a month, he must have been a happy man.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                          https://screencraft.org/2017/02/19/9...screenwriters/

                          VinnyJay, hang in there! Listen to your heart. Continue to follow your passion, get your screenplays read (great coverage readers on this board) and take what you resonate with from feedback. Keep writing! And writing. If it's meant to be, doors will open.

                          It's up to you.

                          Wishing you the best.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                            Thank you guys very much for all your comments. I read them all and I appreciate them. I am overwhelmed by the support. I'm not used to it and as one poster said, it has taken its toll on me mentally. Reading your comments is like a breath of fresh air.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Introduction - Advice Appreciated

                              My script won the Bronze in 2015 Page. Weeks later it got 2 from Black List.
                              I blacklisted Black List since then

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