Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

    Ever since I've become more committed to my writing this past year, I've been struck with an awful sense of anxiety: it seems like there's always 'something' dire that needs to be done, but I can't put my finger on what that 'something' is. It's a general sense of unease and restlessness, like I'm chasing 'something' at all times, and can never sit back and stop.

    Do you think this has anything to do with my writing? Have any of you ever felt this way? This feeling of being unable to relax, like there's an impending crisis at your doorstep and you always have to be alert and waiting for it

    I can't help but feel like this comes from being too focused on the logistical aspects of a writing career: legal, business, and marketing strategies rather than the creative writing itself. It almost feels like my right brain is shriveling up with so much constant worry.

    I was just curious if any of you other writers have felt this way, and if so, if you were able to identify why and resolve it accordingly. Is this just me, or do all creatives feel this way? It's gotten so bad for me, I now feel a general malaise everyday (headaches, fatigue, etc.)

  • #2
    Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

    Been experiencing this more lately. The last month or two I've been having trouble sleep and have been up late because I can't shut my brain off from thinking of all things writing related. Mostly it's projects I have going on in play and thinking of scenarios for each etc.

    The thing I have to remind myself is to not worry about things I cannot control -- like the business side of it.

    If you're brain is running in overdrive on the creative/story side then that's good. I call that drive

    Both is normal, too much of the first can hurt you. Just try to focus that energy into something productive if you can.
    Quack.

    Writer on a cable drama.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

      Originally posted by Liv96 View Post
      Ever since I've become more committed to my writing this past year, I've been struck with an awful sense of anxiety: it seems like there's always 'something' dire that needs to be done, but I can't put my finger on what that 'something' is. It's a general sense of unease and restlessness, like I'm chasing 'something' at all times, and can never sit back and stop.
      the "something" is "not writing." the natural state of your ego is to not be writing, and it is resistant to any attempt to alter that natural state, i.e., to write. anything you think about "writing" when you're not actually in the act of writing is just your ego trying to stay in its natural state ("Okay, I can't write until I do x, y, or z first"). Forget all the stuff that isn't actually writing and just write. As the saying goes, "you can't think your way to right action, you can only act your way to right thinking."

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

        Originally posted by JoeBanks View Post
        the "something" is "not writing." the natural state of your ego is to not be writing, and it is resistant to any attempt to alter that natural state, i.e., to write. anything you think about "writing" when you're not actually in the act of writing is just your ego trying to stay in its natural state ("Okay, I can't write until I do x, y, or z first"). Forget all the stuff that isn't actually writing and just write. As the saying goes, "you can't think your way to right action, you can only act your way to right thinking."
        But it's impossible to write at all hours of the day.

        I want to relax. I need to relax and let my mind go, distance myself from the writing world. It's just that I can't seem to do that.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

          I think one of the hardest things about writing - especially if you're unknown, cranking out spec pages at home, alone - is that there's nobody to tell you you're right. Or wrong. Or good or bad or whatever.

          A lot of my friends do well-paid stressful jobs and they always say how jealous they are that I can sit at home all day writing. But I counter that a) they all get paid every month; and b) more importantly, they're surrounded by people who tell them on a daily basis whether or not they're any good. Even if you work in Starbucks on minimum wage, if the day goes by without anyone saying your coffee sucks that means you did okay. If I spend a day writing, there's nobody to tell me that those 10 pages are okay.

          Following this kind of discussion with my wife (who does said important job), I did a little exercise. We went through her inbox for just one day and counting up all the times colleagues said 'Thanks' or 'This is great' or variations thereof. Pretty soon it proved my point - that although she'd never noticed, every day she got literally dozens of people telling her she was doing a good job. We don't get that.

          And this is just during writing. Once you're done and you start sending stuff out and getting that avalanche of rejection...

          So how do you deal with it?

          If you're obsessed with the idea of gaining audiences, entertaining people, having people watch your stuff then consider how to get work produced. Local theatre, shorts, web-series... There are plenty of options.

          If you're wanting to write specs in order to get a manager/agent/Hollywood career then keep writing but always be mindful that it's a long game, so having success is less about what you do today, or this week, but about where you are in five years.

          If you're writing just because you love writing and any money/career is a bonus, then maybe try writing something else for a few days just to give yourself a break from whatever's bumming you out. Write a review of the last thing you watched on TV - not to show anyone, but just to exercise different muscles.

          Finally, you always have to remind yourself that you do this through choice. You are choosing to be a writer. You are choosing what you write about. You are choosing the form of that writing. If it's making you feel shitty every day then do something else. Do the things that made you want to be a writer in the first place - watch your favourite films, read novels, visit a place that inspires you.

          It's hard to believe but assuming you're an unrepped, unproduced writer, now is probably the most freedom you'll ever have in terms of your writing. Don't waste that by banging your head against the wall.

          JJ.
          My stuff

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

            Originally posted by Liv96 View Post
            Ever since I've become more committed to my writing this past year, I've been struck with an awful sense of anxiety: it seems like there's always 'something' dire that needs to be done, but I can't put my finger on what that 'something' is. It's a general sense of unease and restlessness, like I'm chasing 'something' at all times, and can never sit back and stop.

            Do you think this has anything to do with my writing? Have any of you ever felt this way? This feeling of being unable to relax, like there's an impending crisis at your doorstep and you always have to be alert and waiting for it

            I can't help but feel like this comes from being too focused on the logistical aspects of a writing career: legal, business, and marketing strategies rather than the creative writing itself. It almost feels like my right brain is shriveling up with so much constant worry.

            I was just curious if any of you other writers have felt this way, and if so, if you were able to identify why and resolve it accordingly. Is this just me, or do all creatives feel this way? It's gotten so bad for me, I now feel a general malaise everyday (headaches, fatigue, etc.)
            This is not common to writing, nor is it common in a normal life situation. Constant stress (even low-level) eventually builds up and backlashes, which it sounds like it's starting to do, since you're manifesting physical symptoms.

            If you have the means, see a therapist. This anxiety may be related to your writing somehow, but not in ways you realize. A good professional can help you suss out the cause in confidence, and then give you coping tools. (I'm not thinking chemicals, but ways to manage the causes of the anxiety.)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

              I get this all the time. If I'm not working I feel guilty. But lately I've managed to relax a little more because I've still got time on my side. It's good that I'm not forcing anything but on the flipside not much gets done.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                I'm pretty sure you know this, but experiencing daily headaches and fatigue is not normal -- creative personality or not -- and you should see a doctor about it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                  Originally posted by Liv96 View Post

                  I can't help but feel like this comes from being too focused on the logistical aspects of a writing career: legal, business, and marketing strategies rather than the creative writing itself. It almost feels like my right brain is shriveling up with so much constant worry.
                  I've found that pretty much the only way to get over writing-related anxiety or depression is to actually write. Forget that other stuff. Just write. Carve out an hour or two if you can to just sit down and work. Don't worry if it's good or bad, if it's bad you can fix it. But you can't fix what isn't there.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                    For me it's the battle between reality and my idealism -- I would love to be in a position where my only worry is to write a great script, but then you got sh1t like reality that keeps getting in the way -- bills, rent, cost of living, no-one understanding you, holding down a job to survive, etc.

                    That sh1t can pull you apart.

                    To deal with it, give yourself patience and the belief that it will all work out in the end. Even if it doesn't at least you enjoyed it. And besides, how do you know it won't work out if you haven't got to that point. So, like a warrior, go into battle with the belief that you're going to win.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                      All the time, times two.

                      I feel like I always need to be thinking about projects at work.

                      And that I should always be doing my own writing.

                      The only positive is there's never a time that lacks meaning. Either I'm relaxing or I'm working. Being bored is out of the equation. I haven't experienced that feeling since high school.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                        Jon Jay, it's like you were in my head and wrote exactly what I am going through right now.

                        I also have this feeling, anxiety that what I am writing is crap. I'm setting here at Starbucks and every sentence I write seems like it's lacking -- everything. No one is telling me that it's good or if it's bad. It's all on me. Or until I send it off to get read, but only after I have a draft ready.

                        You are right, in my day job I have people saying "thank you", "that's great", or just an approving "nod". Out of all the years I have been an Engineer, no one has every told me I have done, or am doing a bad job.

                        But with this writing thing (and directing) a day does not go by without anxiety about my writing. I have been lucky to have a feature script I directed being in edit. And, while that sounds cool, it has been also stressful. Having my editor and DP warring with each other. Seeing that the cut is not coming together in a quick way. Realizing if I had just written that extra little scene, or directed differently then the scene would come together better.

                        I know this is all normal, but in this creative field, there are no lack of people who will, in a polite way, say that your writing is not good, or your directing is lacking. All normal for the course, I'm sure.

                        To the OP's question, you just have to keep swimming until you reach the promise land. At least this is what I tell myself. All my choice.

                        But, I will tell you... If I could do this full time, I would do it in a heart beat... Agent/manager rejections, fighting with crew, dealign with producers. It keeps you on your toes. And forces you to keep your game at the highest level.

                        I'm beginning to realize that the journey is more satisfying than the finish line. But, if my movie takes off, I will enjoy the finish line also.

                        As to finding other things that are more important to writing, I have found i can be a master laundry guy. Normally I can find a reason not to do laundry, but when I know I need to write, I find a reason to start looking for clothes that needs to be washed. Of course, I need to wait to write until the washer is done with it's cycle... Jeez. Freak.

                        Engineering is cool and all, steady paycheck, but at times your creative soul is just taking to many hits. Thank God I love to write.

                        Good luck and keep swimming.

                        cmmora

                        Originally posted by Jon Jay View Post
                        I think one of the hardest things about writing - especially if you're unknown, cranking out spec pages at home, alone - is that there's nobody to tell you you're right. Or wrong. Or good or bad or whatever.

                        A lot of my friends do well-paid stressful jobs and they always say how jealous they are that I can sit at home all day writing. But I counter that a) they all get paid every month; and b) more importantly, they're surrounded by people who tell them on a daily basis whether or not they're any good. Even if you work in Starbucks on minimum wage, if the day goes by without anyone saying your coffee sucks that means you did okay. If I spend a day writing, there's nobody to tell me that those 10 pages are okay.

                        Following this kind of discussion with my wife (who does said important job), I did a little exercise. We went through her inbox for just one day and counting up all the times colleagues said 'Thanks' or 'This is great' or variations thereof. Pretty soon it proved my point - that although she'd never noticed, every day she got literally dozens of people telling her she was doing a good job. We don't get that.

                        And this is just during writing. Once you're done and you start sending stuff out and getting that avalanche of rejection...

                        So how do you deal with it?

                        If you're obsessed with the idea of gaining audiences, entertaining people, having people watch your stuff then consider how to get work produced. Local theatre, shorts, web-series... There are plenty of options.

                        If you're wanting to write specs in order to get a manager/agent/Hollywood career then keep writing but always be mindful that it's a long game, so having success is less about what you do today, or this week, but about where you are in five years.

                        If you're writing just because you love writing and any money/career is a bonus, then maybe try writing something else for a few days just to give yourself a break from whatever's bumming you out. Write a review of the last thing you watched on TV - not to show anyone, but just to exercise different muscles.

                        Finally, you always have to remind yourself that you do this through choice. You are choosing to be a writer. You are choosing what you write about. You are choosing the form of that writing. If it's making you feel shitty every day then do something else. Do the things that made you want to be a writer in the first place - watch your favourite films, read novels, visit a place that inspires you.

                        It's hard to believe but assuming you're an unrepped, unproduced writer, now is probably the most freedom you'll ever have in terms of your writing. Don't waste that by banging your head against the wall.

                        JJ.
                        Never let the competition know what you're thinking... and never tell the unseen masses your story idea.

                        -- Rule 85, Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (updated by cmmora)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                          Hi Liv:

                          I think Joe Banks has a good point. I look at some of the threads you start and it seems to me you're distracting yourself from the actual writing by worrying about the biz side too early in your learning curve. It's likely an avoidance technique. We all do it at one time or another in various aspects of our lives. The thing is -- when we do, we have to take a closer look at what we're avoiding.

                          Rejection? Fear we're not good enough? Avoiding the possibility we may have committed a lot of time and energy, and invested our identity, into one thing only to realize it's something else were truly passionate about?

                          The one great thing you have going for you is that you're young. You have the luxury of time to explore different creative impulses without burdening yourself with the pressure, "I have to sell this writing."

                          Maybe set the script aside and write a short story. Or an autobiographical essay. Or a profile on someone you know. With no intention of publishing any of it. Give yourself a chance to "breathe" creatively and fall in love with writing again.
                          Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                            I saw a great quote recently, but I can't remember who its from. "Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life."

                            I tend to take vacations places with very spotty cell phone coverage and limited internet for just this reason.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Is this a feeling all screenwriters experience?

                              Originally posted by Ronaldinho View Post
                              I saw a great quote recently, but I can't remember who its from. "Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life."
                              (Lawrence) Kasdan, I believe

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X