Coverage. What am I up against?

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  • Coverage. What am I up against?

    I apologize in advance for the length of this post.

    I recently had a friend submit a TV script to a top exec at an important management firm. He does business with him on other matters. My friend was 99% sure the script would have to pass their reader's coverage before the exec would read it. I'm okay with that. I've had nothing but terrific feedback from the people who have read it so far. I don't have representation yet, and as a novice writer I'll take whatever help I can get. This was the first submit to a rep.

    A little background first. The script is structured as a mini-series. I've written parts 1&2 and outlined the other 5 parts. Anyway, my friend sends over Part One, along with the info about the other parts and outline.

    He calls me the other day and reads the email he received from the exec. It's written in the style of coverage. They love the characters, the dialogue, the setting, etc. But it's a pass...because this reader felt the story ended too abruptly, and there were too many subplots.

    I'm thinking to myself, doesn't the reader know what's on the title page? Mini Series PART ONE!! Should I have written on the last page, "To be continued?" If this isn't just their way of taking a pass (which is always possible), what must I do to ensure a reader uses his/her deductive reasoning? Because it sounds like that's the reason I got the pass. The reader thought this was the whole story.

    What to do in the future to prevent this, and what can I to do to salvage the pass?
    Again, for those who have read my venting, I say thanx.

  • #2
    Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

    Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
    This was the first submit to a rep.
    Don't be impatient. Patience and fortitude is your friend.

    Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
    The script is structured as a mini-series.
    How many miniseries aired last year? In the last five years? What was the last non-Spielberg-produced miniseries?

    Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
    They love the characters, the dialogue, the setting, etc. But it's a pass...because this reader felt the story ended too abruptly, and there were too many subplots.
    That's what we call a 'gentleman's pass' (sorry, ladies -- I presume it stems from 'gentleman's C's'). The manager didn't want to offend your friend, so he had the reader go easy on you.

    Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
    I'm thinking to myself, doesn't the reader know what's on the title page? Mini Series PART ONE!! Should I have written on the last page, "To be continued?"
    Don't condescend to the reader. They're smart enough to know what they're talking about.

    Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
    If this isn't just their way of taking a pass (which is always possible), what must I do to ensure a reader uses his/her deductive reasoning? Because it sounds like that's the reason I got the pass. The reader thought this was the whole story.
    Did they pass? Then it's their way of taking a pass. The reader didn't care this wasn't the whole story. You wrote a miniseries in a world where the miniseries is dead.

    Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
    What to do in the future to prevent this, and what can I to do to salvage the pass?
    Reconfigure the story as a feature or a television pilot. Write a spec of another show. Get a TV agent. Get a job as a writer's assistant on a show. Get promoted.

    You can't salvage the pass with this rep. Move on.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

      i agree to restructure it as a tv movie. they're in much higher demand. trim it and make it lean and mean. maybe get a couple of consultants give you notes so you know what they all see as snags and problems... like too many subplots, for example.

      it's unlikely that one would say, 'can you expand on this and make it a two-part mini series?' but if they do (well, they won't LOL!) then you'll already have that version.

      and start/keep working on your next project at the same time. never stop moving.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

        i third Jcgary.

        It was a pass. The only way to get better as a writer is to understand that 99% of your passes come from you not writing something that makes people say yes. It's not that your readers aren't "getting it". You have to be humble. Don't assume there's a trick or a tweak that will make someone understand that they actually liked what they didn't like. That's arrogant.

        This isn't a slam. I'm not saying your an overall arrogant person or a bad writer but you're perception of what happened is a bit skewed. When you were passed on you assumed that the material was strong enough to get a yes instead of thinking, "well, I'm a noob, lemme make it better."

        Although one pass doesn't mean anything.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

          I actually don't think writing "to be continued ..." on the last page is a bad idea if you end in the middle of things.

          But I agree with everyone else that a miniseries is a strange way to try to break in.

          You're not "up against" the coverage here. You're up against a pass.

          It's important to remember that a certain percentage of your reads are going to be unfair, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. The reader was in a bad mood, his dog just died, or it's the sixth script he's had to read in the last 4 hours, or heck your protagonist has the same name as his mother in law.

          It's not fair, and there's nothing you can do about it.

          I once got leaked coverage on a script which was scathing in a way that made no sense. Now, bear in mind that this is the script that got me representation and my first paid gig, but this one coverage, it was bizzare: the cover-er lambasted us for not explaining things that we EXPLICITLY spelled out, very early in the script.

          Now, what happened was probably that we got the guy on a bad day, he didn't engage with the script and it's a pretty dense script, so he started skimming. And since he was skimming he missed a lot of key information and then thought our writing was worse than it was. Totally unfair, totally unreasonable ...

          But guess what, it happens! And the script still did its job (getting us rep and work). This is (yet another reason) why you never count on just one roll of the dice.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

            Well, this is a reality check for me. I guess I thought because so many peeps read it and felt the script was so good, that I had something. That led me to the conclusion it was the reader's lack of...whatever. But from these posts there seems to be another level operating here.
            I can easily take the four hours and break them into a pilot and three episodes + a story outline for the remaining episodes.
            If I do that, what do I submit? Pilot + outline for the other episodes?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

              Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
              what do I submit? Pilot + outline for the other episodes?
              Submit the pilot as a writing sample along with a spec of a current show. Get staffed on a series. Get promoted. Learn. Here are two lists of suggested shows to spec: drama and comedy.

              You won't sell the pilot as a pilot at this point in your career unless it is literally the finest piece of television ever written. Spoiler alert: it isn't.

              Your peeps liked what you showed them because they're your peeps. Friends who'll read your material and give you brutal, honest, constructive notes are few and far between. When you find them, ply them with cake and booze and keep them happy so they'll continue to be your friend.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

                Originally posted by NikeeGoddess View Post
                i agree to restructure it as a tv movie. they're in much higher demand. trim it and make it lean and mean. maybe get a couple of consultants give you notes so you know what they all see as snags and problems... like too many subplots, for example.

                it's unlikely that one would say, 'can you expand on this and make it a two-part mini series?' but if they do (well, they won't LOL!) then you'll already have that version.

                and start/keep working on your next project at the same time. never stop moving.
                Where do I find a good consultant and what's the going price on that? Thanx.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

                  Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
                  Well, this is a reality check for me. I guess I thought because so many peeps read it and felt the script was so good, that I had something. That led me to the conclusion it was the reader's lack of...whatever. But from these posts there seems to be another level operating here.
                  I can easily take the four hours and break them into a pilot and three episodes + a story outline for the remaining episodes.
                  If I do that, what do I submit? Pilot + outline for the other episodes?
                  Just concentrate on the pilot. That's the piece that would potentially open any doors. And for the love of God, don't write "To be Continued" unless you want the person reading it to roll their eyes.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

                    Originally posted by 5townsguy View Post
                    Where do I find a good consultant and what's the going price on that? Thanx.
                    I'd definitely go with Ext on this one since he's a veteran of Jerry Bruckheimer TV among others.

                    http://messageboard.donedealpro.com/...ead.php?t=9901

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

                      Thank you. He does seem to have an impressive resume. I've taken the first 66 pages from my two hour part one mini-series and that would serve as the pilot. Now all I have to do is cut it to what? 63 pages?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

                        keep in mind too, that your 'peeps' may not be giving you the upfront, so as not to hurt feelings, burn a bridge etc.

                        i usually try and get feedback from a few readers who are not friends or business acquaintances just so i have more of an objective POV.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

                          Re: consultants, I'm a repeat customer of The Screenplay Mechanic. Unmatched service at a fraction of the cost of the other consultants.

                          http://www.screenplaymechanic.com/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Coverage. What am I up against?

                            Thanx again to all of you for the suggestions.

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