So I started reading a friend's script today and where to begin, oy vey. I was cringing.
1. It's his first script. And I know all about first scripts.
2. I read a draft two years ago and gave him feedback and it seems like he didn't use any of it.
3. A pretty well-known screenwriting teacher/adviser who gave him ONE ON ONE FEEDBACK! on this script over a year ago. So I assumed - major improvements were in the works. (Yes, I know it's his first script, but still...)
4. We're part of this erstwhile production concern (a longer story) and this version that I'm reading was sent to a production company before I had a chance to read it.
5. I don't know who signed off on it, if they did before it was sent, but that's the least of my concerns.
A. What honest feedback can I give him? I was at page 12 and I had to stop. Aside from grammatical errors and cringeworthy exposition, the dialogue is cringeworthy. All in the first twelve pages. I'm not expecting it to get better.
B. I'm fine with giving feedback on drafts of scripts before they go somewhere, to Nicholl etc., but this is too late. It's out there and now he's expecting feedback from me.
C. He was defensive about and sensitive to the feedback I gave him on the earlier draft.
D. Has anyone else had this kind of situation with a friend? And what did you do?
Any advice, thoughts, help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks...
1. It's his first script. And I know all about first scripts.
2. I read a draft two years ago and gave him feedback and it seems like he didn't use any of it.
3. A pretty well-known screenwriting teacher/adviser who gave him ONE ON ONE FEEDBACK! on this script over a year ago. So I assumed - major improvements were in the works. (Yes, I know it's his first script, but still...)
4. We're part of this erstwhile production concern (a longer story) and this version that I'm reading was sent to a production company before I had a chance to read it.
5. I don't know who signed off on it, if they did before it was sent, but that's the least of my concerns.
A. What honest feedback can I give him? I was at page 12 and I had to stop. Aside from grammatical errors and cringeworthy exposition, the dialogue is cringeworthy. All in the first twelve pages. I'm not expecting it to get better.
B. I'm fine with giving feedback on drafts of scripts before they go somewhere, to Nicholl etc., but this is too late. It's out there and now he's expecting feedback from me.
C. He was defensive about and sensitive to the feedback I gave him on the earlier draft.
D. Has anyone else had this kind of situation with a friend? And what did you do?
Any advice, thoughts, help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks...
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