Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

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  • #46
    Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

    But I've found that relationships that aren't part of it somehow, to some degree, just don't last. I've always found that some sort of "being on the same page" about it is somehow a more fulfilling experience.

    I know a lot of actors are attracted to other actors, but I've never been attracted to other writers. To be honest, I've found them to be too needy, or too depressing, or too complicated, or too intense, or maybe just too much like me.

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    • #47
      Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

      Originally posted by maralyn View Post
      But I've found that relationships that aren't part of it somehow, to some degree, just don't last. I've always found that some sort of "being on the same page" about it is somehow a more fulfilling experience.
      This is true for any activity or vocation that you care deeply about. A musician, for example, shouldn't be with someone who doesn't have a great appreciation for music. This is just my opinion, but I've seen it and been through it myself. I feel it's justified. Be with people who share common interests. It's not mandatory that you do, but I feel that it helps.

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      • #48
        Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

        Originally posted by hscope View Post
        Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United soccer coach, has a method of berating players who have not performed. He puts his face an inch from theirs and screams at them for a very long time. It's called "The Hairdryer."

        My wife uses the same method on me after reading my scripts. In a constructive way, of course.
        @TerranceMulloy

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        • #49
          Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

          Originally posted by maralyn View Post
          But I've found that relationships that aren't part of it somehow, to some degree, just don't last.
          My fiance owns his own collision repair body shop...so it's not even close to writing to say the least. He loves movies though. He has watched more movies than anyone I know. He's one of those that can watch like Sci-Fi flicks and rent "B" rated movies.

          I just told him about my writing probably a couple months ago. I'm not sure he really understood the extent of it but he's laid back so who knows...I'd like him to read mine some day but he doesn't like to read. Maybe I should trade him in for a new one? Oh that's only cars?

          Just kidding. This sounds corny but I'd probably give up writing before I gave him up. Or just build a secret underground writing room where he couldn't find me
          Quack.

          Writer on a cable drama.

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          • #50
            Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

            Originally posted by ducky1288 View Post
            ...I'd probably give up writing before I gave him up.
            If it ever came to that, you'd be making the wrong choice.

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            • #51
              Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

              Originally posted by maralyn View Post
              But I've found that relationships that aren't part of it somehow, to some degree, just don't last. I've always found that some sort of "being on the same page" about it is somehow a more fulfilling experience.
              My wife read a draft of my novel way back when we first started dating.

              Since then she's read nothing else I've written- says she'll read my other stuff after I sell it, for superstition purposes.

              She has not even a big toe dipped into the pool that I've created, and we are coming up on our 12th year together.... so relationships can last without that "same page experience".
              Words... they don't arrange themselves.

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              • #52
                Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

                I'm in awe of people who balance writing with day job with marriage with kids. Don't know if I could do it. Couldn't do the 4-6 am thing, that's for sure... I write mostly on weekeends since that is when I can really get into a groove, and I can't imagine having to stop when I'm on a roll just because it's time to eat or God forbid prepare a meal or whatever else community requires It is pure selfish time and it is when I get the most work done. However if I were writing professionally, it would be a piece of cake to have a life as well, naturally.

                I guess everybody sacrifices something to write, whether it's sleep, sanity, relationships, a tidy house, a social life... Time however is required in all scenarios and there are naturally domestic situations that allow for more time than others, in my opinion. Same with people with a lot of relatives nearby versus people with no relatives --some people are just always, always tied up with family events, and regardless of whether it's a joy or a burden or a bit of both, it certainly takes up major chunks of time.

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                • #53
                  Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

                  I've mentioned this here before, but the English novelist Margaret Drabble raised a lot of children as a single mother and managed to produce something close to a book every year. She was interviewed and asked about this, and she said something to the effect that you learn to work around your children; you write a paragraph, you make lunch, you write two more pages, you start dinner, you grab a sentence here, another there.

                  When we lived in England, my wife, newborn daughter and I essentially lived in one room for much of the time. I was able to write a book a year, simply by knowing that there were times I had to be a father and others when I could be a writer. I think this only works with any success if you can approach your work with modesty and with a realistic view of yourself.

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                  • #54
                    Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

                    Being married with child(ren) has forced me to grow a bigger heart, which has improved my writing. The problem is I'm just too tired to type.

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                    • #55
                      Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

                      I think it's sweet if the writing doesn't have to be part of it, I mean, obviously, I wouldn't get relationship counceling from ME. (seriously!)

                      But I've always taken my son to openings.

                      He loves it. We went to one of my plays not long ago, a comedy, it had been described as a "shocking comedy", and there was one sequence in it, where the laughs build, to the point of riotous, and then the audience stood up in excitement, and to look closer at what was happening, and my son did too, he was laughing along with the rest of the audience, and then he looked at me, in disbelief, and laughed even harder.

                      You know, laughing at the fact that I'd written it.

                      Those things are fun to share.

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                      • #56
                        Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

                        I prefer writing while single.
                        Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

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                        • #57
                          Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

                          Originally posted by Jake Schuster View Post
                          I've mentioned this here before, but the English novelist Margaret Drabble raised a lot of children as a single mother and managed to produce something close to a book every year. She was interviewed and asked about this, and she said something to the effect that you learn to work around your children; you write a paragraph, you make lunch, you write two more pages, you start dinner, you grab a sentence here, another there.
                          She also lives in a different house to her husband. Yep. Two different houses, two different spaces, two different lives. Sounds fabulous. One house is writing only - the other for living. (I'm writing a thesis on literary couples, and the ways they divide their intimate lives from their literary lives are truly fascinating.)

                          Room of one's own and all that... (Don't forget the 500 pounds a year.)
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                          • #58
                            Re: Single or Married: What's ideal for a screenwriter?

                            This was after her divorce from actor Clive Swift and before her marriage to Michael Holroyd, when she was living alone and raising the children from a young age, Nic.


                            My wife just reminded me that when my last novel came out a little over ten years ago, a Boston newspaper interviewed me and another stay-at-home father on how we juggled writing with child-raising. (At the time, my wife and I were in the midst of a twelve-year separation before getting back together five years ago; long story.)

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