Would you keep reading this?

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: Would you keep reading this?

    Originally posted by harbak View Post
    Any newbie writers out there who try to copy/mimic a Shane Black approach to screenwriting will likely fall very flat. That's all. Embrace your own way of telling stories and go from there.
    Chasing after writing styles of your favorite screenwriters is pretty much the same as chasing after the hot genre du jour screenplay.

    Article: 7 Hollywood Gatekeepers On What They Look For In A Script.

    (I was totally shocked and awed to discover that these gatekeepers were not dressed in cowls and holding crooked staffs)
    Last edited by Clint Hill; 05-17-2018, 05:58 PM.
    “Nothing is what rocks dream about” ― Aristotle

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Would you keep reading this?

      Originally posted by dpaterso View Post
      Yes, to see how many more glaring mistakes this amateur is going to make. If only he'd posted here first before embarrassing himself, we could have helped!

      EXT. CITY OF ANGELS - NIGHT

      Need I say more? I pity the fool.
      STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Would you keep reading this?

        The whole point of this excerpt is NOT Shane Black's particular writing style, it's how evocatively he communicates with his writing. You SEE, and you FEEL as you read his script. The reason he can do that is because he is honestly and confidently TELLING a story. He's not trying to make sure he gets the "inciting incident" on the correct page. He's not following some "guru's" "don't do this list" – he's TELLING a story and he pulls you in. However you do that – and definitely DON'T try to be a Shane Black clone – just be a story teller. That's the key.

        I think sc111 (in the Cadence thread) sums it up much better than I can ...

        When I worked on staff at ad agencies I was often tasked with training junior copywriters. Many would hang in my office and tell me stories about things that happened to them. Interesting stories with a natural cadence. Using a mix of long sentences and short sentences they created a rhythm infused with the emotion they wanted to elicit in me.

        Yet, when they handed me their work it was often one long drone. I found myself constantly advising, "Write the way you speak." Some got it immediately. Others didn't. That's when I told them to close their eyes and listen as I read their work aloud. It always drove the point home.

        The Lethal Weapon pages you posted in the other thread are a perfect example of spoken-word cadence in action lines. You can imagine Shane Black sitting at a table with friends telling this story over cocktails. He's writing the way he speaks.
        You're writing drama. Don't be afraid to be dramatic.
        STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Would you keep reading this?

          I'm still unclear on just where you stand regarding screenwriting “gurus” and their “don't do this” lists of “rules.”

          “Nay, allow the claim of the dead; stab not the fallen; what prowess is it to slay the slain anew?” — Tiresius' monologue, from Antigone, by Sophocles.

          Read more at http://www.monologuearchive.com/s/so...EayuX93OmDt.99
          Last edited by Clint Hill; 05-17-2018, 06:26 PM.
          “Nothing is what rocks dream about” ― Aristotle

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Would you keep reading this?

            Originally posted by TigerFang View Post
            I'm still unclear on just where you stand regarding screenwriting "gurus- and their "don't do this- lists of "rules.-
            Alas, the nag still lives.
            STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Would you keep reading this?

              Originally posted by Centos View Post
              Alas, the nag still lives.
              For example ...

              Michael asks:
              Is it ever okay to use the “ing” present tense to describe action? “The Complete Screenwriters Manual” says no, but I don’t buy it.

              Monica says:
              Thanks, Michael. Great question.

              Here’s the deal with what I refer to as active verbs vs. passive verbs and screenwriting. The standard for screenwriting is to use the most evocative verb choice and to write it in the simple present verb tense (“kicks”) as opposed to the present progressive tense (“is kicking”).

              The simple present is the more immediate and active form of the present tense. Writing in the simple present tense with active verbs does take some getting used to for new screenwriters because it’s not the way we would write literary prose were we writing a short story or a novel. There are many verb tenses, passive and active, and as writers, we are encouraged to use them all – except in screenwriting. I myself felt somewhat limited by this style when I first started writing screenplays, but now the simple present tense is more intuitive for me.
              ...
              Emphasis mine.

              http://www.screenwriter-to-screenwri...9D-verb-tense/

              My work is far from done.
              Last edited by Centos; 05-17-2018, 10:35 PM.
              STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Would you keep reading this?

                Originally posted by Centos View Post
                My work is far from done.
                Centos proselytizes to convert a group of rule-addled, would-be screenwriters: You Need a Real Sinner.
                Last edited by Clint Hill; 05-18-2018, 06:47 PM.
                “Nothing is what rocks dream about” ― Aristotle

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Would you keep reading this?

                  Originally posted by TigerFang View Post
                  Centos proselytizes to convert a group of rule-addled, would-be screenwriters: You Need a Real Sinner.
                  Brothers and sisters -- there are some, even among the elect -- who boast that they are beyond... yes beyond the very words they are obliged to obey. They flaunt the shriveled words and convoluted sentences we are commanded to use and in their place they use ghastly, ostentatious words... descriptive words... words that invoke images! Brothers and sisters -- they brazenly do this in plain site. One recently questioned -- yes -- questioned the very foundational placement of the inciting incident!

                  The good book... Amen!, leaves no room for doubt on this matter. STC, page 41, paragraph 6: "The inciting incident shall be placed on page twelve, near the top. It shall not be placed on page twelve near the bottom, nor shall it be placed on page twelve in the middle. It shall never be placed on page eleven, neither shall it be placed on page thirteen -- for those would be abominations!"

                  But brothers and sisters -- brothers and sisters... this is not the lowest depravity that they have fallen into! NO! The chasm is much deeper -- some, in their filth and depravity have questioned even more than the inciting incident. Some have welcomed into their very bosoms, defilement itself -- some have -- mothers, you may want to cover the ears of your children -- some have said their is nothing wrong with the filth of ING!!! They ING their words and think nothing of it! Over and over again they do this, without remorse. Brothers and sisters there is no salvation for these fallen -- how could there be! For as the good book says -- brothers and sisters: "They will be cast into the lake of fire and there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth!"

                  Uh... I mean. "The people wail! The people's teeth gnash!"

                  Amen!
                  "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Would you keep reading this?

                    The simple present is the more immediate and active form of the present tense. Writing in the simple present tense with active verbs does take some getting used to for new screenwriters because it’s not the way we would write literary prose were we writing a short story or a novel. There are many verb tenses, passive and active, and as writers, we are encouraged to use them all – except in screenwriting. I myself felt somewhat limited by this style when I first started writing screenplays, but now the simple present tense is more intuitive for me.
                    Eeeeeeeek!

                    "I myself felt somewhat limited by this style when I first started writing screenplays, but now the simple present tense is more intuitive for me."

                    Right, just after the lobotomy kicked in?

                    So to recap: Everything we write should be the best we can do -- EXCEPT screenplays. With screenplays we should tie our literary hands behind our backs and try to scribble words by holding a pencil with our toes. If the result isn't stilted, bland, repetitive, pigeon-Englishy and boring we didn't do something right.
                    "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Would you keep reading this?

                      Originally posted by StoryWriter View Post
                      Brothers and sisters -- there are some, even among the elect -- who boast that they are beyond... yes beyond the very words they are obliged to obey. They flaunt the shriveled words and convoluted sentences we are commanded to use and in their place they use ghastly, ostentatious words... descriptive words... words that invoke images! Brothers and sisters -- they brazenly do this in plain site. One recently questioned -- yes -- questioned the very foundational placement of the inciting incident!

                      The good book... Amen!, leaves no room for doubt on this matter. STC, page 41, paragraph 6: "The inciting incident shall be placed on page twelve, near the top. It shall not be placed on page twelve near the bottom, nor shall it be placed on page twelve in the middle. It shall never be placed on page eleven, neither shall it be placed on page thirteen -- for those would be abominations!"

                      But brothers and sisters -- brothers and sisters... this is not the lowest depravity that they have fallen into! NO! The chasm is much deeper -- some, in their filth and depravity have questioned even more than the inciting incident. Some have welcomed into their very bosoms, defilement itself -- some have -- mothers, you may want to cover the ears of your children -- some have said their is nothing wrong with the filth of ING!!! They ING their words and think nothing of it! Over and over again they do this, without remorse. Brothers and sisters there is no salvation for these fallen -- how could there be! For as the good book says -- brothers and sisters: "They will be cast into the lake of fire and there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth!"

                      Uh... I mean. "The people wail! The people's teeth gnash!"

                      Amen!
                      Write on, brother!
                      “Nothing is what rocks dream about” ― Aristotle

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Would you keep reading this?

                        Originally posted by StoryWriter View Post
                        Uh... I mean. "The people wail! The people's teeth gnash!"
                        Amen!
                        "I saw the light, I saw the light ...

                        (Ah crap!)

                        "I SEE the light, I SEE the light ...

                        (Past tense creeping up on me.)
                        STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Would you keep reading this?

                          Originally posted by Centos View Post
                          (Past tense creeping up on me.)
                          Uh ... crap ...

                          Past tense creeps ...
                          STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Would you keep reading this?

                            Yes!
                            1. Because at first glance it's Shane Black's Lethal Weapon.
                            2. Because I specifically remember reading that for the first time. I read, I flipped the page, "Robots live here?" ... "This is where you'd live when you sell your screenplay?" Who are you, you giant egomaniacal weirdo! Then I kept reading (see?) and read through the whole thing and understand why people were so eager to hand him a million or more for a screenplay. There's voice. You notice it. You're slightly irritated, but after a while it grows on you and he wins you over by the end by telling a great story.

                            So. Yes. I would keep reading. I did.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Would you keep reading this?

                              Originally posted by TigerFang View Post
                              Write on, brother!
                              Can I get an Amen?

                              And now for something gospely from brother Hank.

                              Howlin' at the Moon
                              "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Would you keep reading this?

                                Well, yes, maybe I would keep reading it -- but only out of perverse curiosity, and despite the insufferably overbearing presence of the writer.

                                A red Chevy ... Green Dodge ... blue BMW ... Yellow car
                                And that rather convenient array of colours bugs me too.
                                Know this: I'm a lazy amateur, so trust not a word what I write.
                                "The ugly can be beautiful. The pretty, never." ~ Oscar Wilde

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X