I've seen script notes/complaints about notes that a script starts out with "too many characters".
The premise seems to be that it's just too much for a reader when s/he is trying to get a simple handle on what your script is about. Or, if you're going to start with lots of characters, at least give them intros that help a reader distinguish them. Since I have trouble remembering names, I can appreciate that.
And yet, what if your first scene requires lots of characters and you don't want to slow things down (on page 1) with a 1-2 line intro for each character?
I took a look at The Town and, whether by design or by chance, it seems to me that they provide some help.
Here are the verbatim character intros on page 1:
As I read page 1, my sense - without stopping to think about it as I read - was that I need not worry about the names at this point. My brain latched on to the generic description, with the exception of Gloansey because he was only given a lower-case generic and it was provided after his name - which made his name stand out.
Another thing that helps (or, helped as I read more) is that each of the Bandits has a distinctive name, but that assessment came to me only in retrospect.
The script I have is "Current Revisions by / Ben Affleck & Aaron Stockard 1.5.09", i.e., so yes, Affleck was writing somewhat for himself.
Does anyone else see/agree with my assessment of this "help"? Is this an established method and I'm just late to the party? Any other tricks for making a page-1 character-dump work well for the reader?
The premise seems to be that it's just too much for a reader when s/he is trying to get a simple handle on what your script is about. Or, if you're going to start with lots of characters, at least give them intros that help a reader distinguish them. Since I have trouble remembering names, I can appreciate that.
And yet, what if your first scene requires lots of characters and you don't want to slow things down (on page 1) with a 1-2 line intro for each character?
I took a look at The Town and, whether by design or by chance, it seems to me that they provide some help.
Here are the verbatim character intros on page 1:
INT. KENMORE SQUARE SOVEREIGN BANK - EARLY MORNING
...
A WOMAN, CLAIRE (30) the bank manager and A MAN,
DAVID,(37) the assistant manager...
The BANDITS move with JARRING SPEED AND VIOLENCE.
They wear BLACK JUMPSUITS, hold ASSAULT RIFLES and wear
Halloween masks.
The FIRST BANDIT, DOUG (35)...
The SECOND, JEM (34)...
... GLOANSEY (32) another thief...
... the FOURTH, (DEZ, 28)...
A standard sort of intro for Claire isn't offered until page 5:...
A WOMAN, CLAIRE (30) the bank manager and A MAN,
DAVID,(37) the assistant manager...
The BANDITS move with JARRING SPEED AND VIOLENCE.
They wear BLACK JUMPSUITS, hold ASSAULT RIFLES and wear
Halloween masks.
The FIRST BANDIT, DOUG (35)...
The SECOND, JEM (34)...
... GLOANSEY (32) another thief...
... the FOURTH, (DEZ, 28)...
EXT. KENMORE SQUARE SOVEREIGN BANK - FLASHBACK
Claire gets off, sunset. She is quite beautiful but it
isn't that, there is something endearing in her dignity,
her poise. Doug watches from a Cadillac STS.
Here's why I say they provide "help". These characters are introduced first with a generic term - A MAN, A WOMAN, BANDITS, FIRST BANDIT... - and with a name only after that.Claire gets off, sunset. She is quite beautiful but it
isn't that, there is something endearing in her dignity,
her poise. Doug watches from a Cadillac STS.
As I read page 1, my sense - without stopping to think about it as I read - was that I need not worry about the names at this point. My brain latched on to the generic description, with the exception of Gloansey because he was only given a lower-case generic and it was provided after his name - which made his name stand out.
Another thing that helps (or, helped as I read more) is that each of the Bandits has a distinctive name, but that assessment came to me only in retrospect.
The script I have is "Current Revisions by / Ben Affleck & Aaron Stockard 1.5.09", i.e., so yes, Affleck was writing somewhat for himself.
Does anyone else see/agree with my assessment of this "help"? Is this an established method and I'm just late to the party? Any other tricks for making a page-1 character-dump work well for the reader?
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