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Old 10-12-2017, 02:02 PM   #1
StoryWriter
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Default Tips For Writing A Screenplay

(According to "The Onion" -- 4-11-17)

Every great writer must start somewhere. Begin by pouring $156,000 into an undergraduate degree.

Your screenplay should address a central unifying question, such as “How do we as humans transcend the tragedy of loss?” or “What have those Smurfs been up to lately?”

Shatter the conventional expectations for female leads by developing a protagonist who is both intelligent and attractive—but who knows how to crack a joke, too.

Consider including at least one character named Big Jeff.

Anytime you use “FADE OUT” at the end of a scene, remember that the audience can’t see anything that’s happening until you fade back in.

Indicate clearly at the beginning of each scene how VFX will make it worth watching.

Take an occasional step back to review your script and double-check that a sense of artistic validation isn’t obstructing its commercial viability.

Once your first draft is finished, scan for spelling errors, then crack open a pack of brass fasteners.
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Old 10-12-2017, 09:51 PM   #2
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

Quote:
Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
(According to "The Onion" -- 4-11-17)


Once your first draft is finished, scan for spelling errors, then crack open a pack of brass fasteners.
And replace all facial piercings, nose especially, with the brass fasteners right before any meetings with studio execs for some extra credit.
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Old 12-04-2017, 08:45 PM   #3
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

When adhering to the hero's journey, try starting on "refuse of the call" and show your protagonist blubbering like an infant. Have your hero pull himself together after receiving a food reward.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:48 AM   #4
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

Learn the difference between "to" and "too." Use appropriately.
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:17 PM   #5
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

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Originally Posted by billmarq View Post
Learn the difference between "to" and "too." Use appropriately.
Quote:
Grammar is an artifice designed to fetter free expression. It is a tether that chains writers to the mundane and deprives them of the wings on which they could soar to new heights of creativity. It is the crutch the inadequate mind grasps in a vain attempt to totter through the fearful minefield of original thought. It's real purpose is to obfuscate, not elucidate.

And it's a word that should be spelt with an "a" and an "e" instead of two "a's."
If these forums don't "liven up" pretty quickly I'm fully prepared to write some really, really stupid stuff and post it here. And those who know me, know that I'm quite capable of backing up my threat. Stupidity is as natural as breathing for me!
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:18 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by billmarq View Post
Learn the difference between "to" and "too." Use appropriately.
Say what?
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Old 12-08-2017, 08:37 AM   #7
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

Sorry. I felt compelled to point out the most common mistake I see every day in screenplays and social media posts. Feel free to ignore.
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Old 12-08-2017, 11:14 AM   #8
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

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Originally Posted by billmarq View Post
Sorry. I felt compelled to point out the most common mistake I see every day in screenplays and social media posts. Feel free to ignore.
Care to point out the specific mistake in the actual post? (Or did you just mean that people make that mistake in screenplays and social media, in general?)

I'm not sure if you're aware, but the source of the post is "The Onion", a satirical magazine. I think the "tips" were intended as comedy and not as advice to be taken seriously.

I probably should have pointed that out.

Please, feel free to ignore.
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Old 12-08-2017, 01:55 PM   #9
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

Quote:
The Onion: Shatter the conventional expectations for female leads by developing a protagonist who is both intelligent and attractive—but who knows how to crack a joke, too.
Intelligent and attractive ...
No problem. Lots of hot babes out there who are smart.
Intelligent, attractive, and a good sense of humor ...
Oooh ... This is gonna be tough.
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Bill M: Sorry. I felt compelled to point out the most common mistake I see every day in screenplays and social media posts. Feel free to ignore.
Bill, I do not know if it is the most common, but it is certainly one that you will see very often, along with many others.

One of the golden oldies is the use of the apostrophe to form a plural:
He pulls several book's off the shelf
should be
He pulls several books off the shelf
Alas, as someone prominent once said, "Is our children learning?"
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Old 12-09-2017, 02:25 PM   #10
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Default Re: Tips For Writing A Screenplay

Quote:
Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
Care to point out the specific mistake in the actual post? (Or did you just mean that people make that mistake in screenplays and social media, in general?)
It was no jab at you, but a general comment. I have many intelligent friends who make that particular mistake on almost a daily basis.

Back when I frequently critiqued screenplays, I observed that mistake all too often. Or is it to often?
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