How can I say this - need line description help

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  • How can I say this - need line description help

    The specific line of description I'm having trouble with involves this mysterious character, who we know to be somewhat ill spirited, who then shows up unexpectedly with another character who hasn't met her.

    I want to describe how the character gives off an uneasy feeling and how her overly friendly speech is inconsistent with her previous character traits.

    What I was working with when something like this, "Crystal's response feels overly friendly, a detour from her usual..." Yeah, I'm struggling with this one.

    Any ideas?

  • #2
    Re: how can I say this - need line description help

    You could try describing exactly what she does --perhaps her smile seems a little too big, her voice a little too loud? Does she do something creepy? Does the other person have a reaction to her? Are they buying the friendliness or doing something in reaction to the creepiness?

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