Frustratingly unmarketable.

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  • #61
    Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

    Originally posted by AE35-Unit View Post
    "Saying you might need a plane crash to wake the audience up is moronic."

    Enough with the plane crash. The plane doesn't crash nor will it.

    Waking up the audience is probably more the key.

    This is a love story not a disaster film. I see the drama aspect and all, but no effing plane crashes. Please.
    Do you want this job or not?

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    • #62
      Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

      "Do you want this job or not?"

      Huh?
      We gain our innocence by taking yours.

      Comment


      • #63
        Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

        Originally posted by AE35-Unit View Post

        Enough with the plane crash. The plane doesn't crash nor will it.

        Waking up the audience is probably more the key.

        This is a love story not a disaster film. I see the drama aspect and all, but no effing plane crashes. Please. I could have cheaped out on that bullshit in the first draft.
        Yeah, I think Emily and Asjah nailed it. Perhaps the story needs some big character driven "plane crashes."

        Perhaps it's not a love story either and you need to rethink what your story is about. Maybe you should focus on your male protag's story and make some adjustments.

        Have you seen or read Five Easy Pieces? It may help you. It was about a man who needs to find himself, somewhat like your protag.

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        • #64
          Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

          Originally posted by jonpiper View Post
          Yeah, I think Emily and Asjah nailed it. Perhaps the story needs some big character driven "plane crashes."

          Perhaps it's not a love story either and you need to rethink what your story is about. Maybe you should focus on your male protag's story and make some adjustments.

          Have you seen or read Five Easy Pieces? It may help you. It was about a man who needs to find himself, somewhat like your protag.
          Perhaps it's a story about dinosaurs. That would be exciting.

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          • #65
            Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

            Sorry, I was going to leave this thread alone as I've hovered enough but I wanted to clarify.

            I'll be honest, I'm no more in tune than other voices on the forum who are new to storytelling. One thing I feel I'm somewhat good at is finessing information from short directives. Maybe it comes from working around busy executives for a long time, I dunno. Quite often I'm given a short direct point and it's up to me to figure out the subtext.

            It's.not.easy.

            But who knows, perhaps this helps... If I'm given a short note like you were given, I'd first ask myself: how is my drama? Is it engaging? What are the stakes? Are they high enough?

            Spoilers for Always--
            Example: in Always. Richard Dreyfuss has to face the fact that he won't ever again be with the love of his life. Not only that... but she's on the verge of moving on. Not only that... but the new guy is a pilot too. Not only that... but he's a hotshot who could be greater than he was. Not only that... but he's more sensitive, more charming, more engaging, more physically fit... And not only that... but moving on means letting go of life itself. So the personal romantic stakes and the tension of choosing his path are high every step of the way.
            life happens
            despite a few cracked pots-
            and random sunlight

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            • #66
              Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

              Originally posted by AE35-Unit View Post
              "Saying you might need a plane crash to wake the audience up is moronic."

              Enough with the plane crash. The plane doesn't crash nor will it.

              Waking up the audience is probably more the key.

              This is a love story not a disaster film. I see the drama aspect and all, but no effing plane crashes. Please. I could have cheaped out on that bullshit in the first draft.
              Ok. Why the flight lessons at all? Why does this guy want to learn how to fly?

              There's a carefully-considered reason you chose that, I'm guessing. Right?

              Comment


              • #67
                Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                [QUOTE=asjah8;834193]Sorry, I was going to leave this thread alone as I've hovered enough but I wanted to clarify.

                I’ll be honest, I’m no more in tune than other voices on the forum who are new to storytelling. One thing I feel I’m somewhat good at is finessing information from short directives. Maybe it comes from working around busy executives for a long time, I dunno. Quite often I’m given a short direct point and it’s up to me to figure out the subtext.

                It’s.not.easy.

                But who knows, perhaps this helps… If I’m given a short note like you were given, I’d first ask myself: how is my drama? Is it engaging? What are the stakes? Are they high enough?



                You know where writers directives come from primarily?

                Inside their skulls. See they're being paid for narrative acumen not to simply stitch together the directives of CEs and producers.

                Or are they?

                Hard to tell these days. Maybe screenwriters are just seamstresses stitching together the patchwork of others.

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                • #68
                  Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                  Originally posted by halloweenjak View Post
                  Perhaps it's a story about dinosaurs. That would be exciting.
                  OK, I'll bite, what are you really trying to say? I was trying to be helpful.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                    Originally posted by jonpiper View Post
                    OK, I'll bite, what are you really trying to say? I was trying to be helpful.
                    Suggesting he change it from a love story isn't like saying use a different font.

                    You're saying change the DNA of your story, and if he's worth his salt he would see that suggestion as tacking another year or two onto the rewrite process.

                    Maybe that's helpful, but he's not getting any younger.

                    Of course all this is pointless as no ones read the script and can't make any accurate assessment of it's strengths or weaknesses.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                      Halloweenjack, I think you misunderstand all of the given advice. Nobody is suggesting the OP change this from a love story. People are simply suggesting that perhaps given the notes he's received, he find a way to make this love story more interesting and dramatic. That's what writers do.
                      Chicks Who Script podcast

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                      • #71
                        Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                        What Emily said, plus keep the love element in the story but change the focus.

                        We all give notes and feedback, hoping our input will help the op. Let him evaluate everything, see if anything hits home, makes sense, helps.

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                        • #72
                          Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                          One word, for anyone here, if you want to make your script marketable: RELATABILITY.

                          Your lead character could be of any age, race, gender, etc, but you have to make him/her/it relatable to the audience. Else, the script falls flat.
                          "A screenwriter is much like being a fire hydrant with a bunch of dogs lined up around it.- -Frank Miller

                          "A real writer doesn't just want to write; a real writer has to write." -Alan Moore

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                          • #73
                            Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                            What Emily said. The note behind the note. You're the writer, you're the guy who finds the solution to the problem.

                            Sometimes when you're getting notes you've gotta look around a suggested solution to figure out what problem your reader thinks that it solves.

                            So what problem would a plane crash potentially solve? Dramatic tension? Wake up the audience/reader? Give you a "trailer moment"?

                            Whatever the solution, good or bad, it's offered up to solve a problem. Find that problem and then come up with your own solution.

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                            • #74
                              Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                              Originally posted by AE35-Unit View Post
                              "If you go with an old geezer, can the woman be younger"

                              The girl is 34. She was adopted at 12 by a loving black man and his wife who have known her since she was born. Her biological father and he flew tankers in Vietnam and her real father left it in his will should anything happen, that she go to him. Her parents were killed in a car crash when she was twelve. She doesn't have father issues as she loves him very much.Her problem is people she loves leaving her which she fears with the protag.

                              You'd have to read it to understand. Sorry for my shitty grammar. I'm at my day job.
                              The question is, why are these choices the best choices for your story? Is being adopted by a black man interesting? Is it interesting enough? Are the stakes high enough if the gal's main deal is that she has a problem with people leaving her?

                              Yes, I'd have to read it to be certain, but it sounds like it's a lot of two people talking about their pasts and where they came from and not enough of what they are actually doing in the moment. And probably a few back and forths dealing with her fear of loss which could get repetitively boring. And in that sense, and as others have said, it seems like you might need that figurative "plane crash."
                              On Twitter @DeadManSkipping

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                              • #75
                                Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

                                Originally posted by emily blake View Post
                                Halloweenjack, I think you misunderstand all of the given advice. Nobody is suggesting the OP change this from a love story. People are simply suggesting that perhaps given the notes he's received, he find a way to make this love story more interesting and dramatic. That's what writers do.
                                Jon Piper said perhaps it's not a love story a few posts back.

                                Are you calling him a "nobody"?

                                How rude.

                                ( he amended it above of course, but I was addressing the aforementioned post)

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