Questions about car scenes

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  • #16
    Re: Questions about car scenes

    Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
    Ok, I didn't put those three scenes in a single location. This is how I wrote it, you tell me if that's ok:

    EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

    Empty, small parking lot on a quiet morning. Person A and Person B are standing by their car, having a conversation.

    Dialogues between Persons A and B... (Not necessary to write it now)

    I/E. PERSON C'S CAR (PARKED) - DAY

    Person C is sitting in a car across the street from the parking lot, carefully observing what Person A and Person B are doing. He sees them getting into their car. Person C starts his car.

    EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

    Person A's car, with Person A and Person B clearly visible in it, gets out of the parking lot, pulls into traffic and heads back to the house.

    INT. PERSON A'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY

    On the way back to the house, Person A and Person B continue their conversation.

    Dialogues between Person A and Person B.

    Now, I put the I/E in the scene heading of the first scene because the scene takes place both in the interior of Person C's car and at the parking lot (Persons A and B getting into the car) which is an exterior. Is all that correct?
    Honestly, I found that to be a bit confusing, especially, the I.E. PERSON C's CAR (PARKED).

    That doesn't tell me where we are. Person C's car could be parked anywhere from Indonesia to the surface of the moon.

    The location, if you feel the need to create a separate location is E/I BOB'S CAR ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE PARKING LOT

    You don't have to tell us in the slug line that it's parked -- it's pretty obvious that a car that's across the street from somewhere isn't in motion.

    And while a lot of people feel the need to do that INT/EXT thing, I wouldn't normally do that with someone who's in a parked car.

    But then again, since he proceeds to drive away, and since I would do it when you're dealing with a scene with someone who's driving a car, I won't press the point.

    But again, it's the same deal. I wouldn't say EXT. BOB'S CAR (MOVING)

    I'd say where the car is. EXT/INT. BOB'S CAR ON THE HIGHWAY

    And the reason that I do the EXT/INT in a case like that is because one would usually establish the presence of the car through some ext shot, showing the car on the highway and then move in for a shot of Bob in the car, shots that might be done at the same time or place or might be done in totally different times and places.

    Also, I don't know how we're supposed to know that Persons A and B are heading back to their house.

    Also, I wouldn't say that Person A's car exits the parking lot and enters traffic. I would say that Person A drives out of the parking lot and enters traffic, unless he's in one of those self-driving cars.

    And since you've described Person A as driving out of the parking lot, you don't have to go on to say that Person A is clearly visible in the car, since the reader is going to imagine him visible in the car because he will imagine seeing him driving out of the parking lot and into traffic.

    That's the difference between saying that one sees a car driving out of a parking lot and a person driving out of a parking lot. With the former you then need to waste additional words specifying that you see the person who's doing the driving.

    NMS

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    • #17
      Re: Questions about car scenes

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      Honestly, I found that to be a bit confusing, especially, the I.E. PERSON C's CAR (PARKED).

      That doesn't tell me where we are. Person C's car could be parked anywhere from Indonesia to the surface of the moon.
      Well I explained where Person C is in the action line below the scene heading - Person C is sitting in a car across the street from the parking lot, carefully observing what Person A and Person B are doing. He sees them getting into their car. Person C starts his car. - Isn't that clear enought?

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      The location, if you feel the need to create a separate location is E/I BOB'S CAR ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE PARKING LOT
      Why though if I explained in the action line below what happens in the scene heading that is the parking lot?

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      You don't have to tell us in the slug line that it's parked -- it's pretty obvious that a car that's across the street from somewhere isn't in motion.
      I'm doing that simply because every script I've read has (Parked) and (Moving) in every car scene. Does it do any harm if I leave it like that?

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      But again, it's the same deal. I wouldn't say EXT. BOB'S CAR (MOVING)

      I'd say where the car is. EXT/INT. BOB'S CAR ON THE HIGHWAY
      I guess that's a matter of preference then? Because although I get the point that if you put where the car is in short in the scene heading, you don't have to explain where it is in the action line below, but I feel like it's better to explain it in the action line below simply because the circumstances might not be the same. For example, I have EXT. PERSON A'S CAR (MOVING) on multiple occasions, but he's driving on different locations. The way I mean it is that I can't write EXT. PERSON A'S CAR ON THE CITY STREET (MOVING) because I have him drive on different city street every time and saying city street in the scene heading every time is confusing because it implies it's on the same city street which isn't the case. Yeah, I could write EXT PERSON A'S CAR ON THE CITY STREET #1/CITY STREET #2 etc. but again, I guess it's a matter of preference. I find it to look nicer if I just write the normal scene heading (where the character is - in the car) and then describe where the car is located in the action line along with what the character is doing.

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      Also, I don't know how we're supposed to know that Persons A and B are heading back to their house.
      Because they say so in the dialogues which I skipped writing because it's not necessary.

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      Also, I wouldn't say that Person A's car exits the parking lot and enters traffic. I would say that Person A drives out of the parking lot and enters traffic, unless he's in one of those self-driving cars.
      ComicBent told me he'd write it like that because if you write it like you said, you didn't note the presence of Person B in the car. That can be confusing because if you say that Person A drives out of the parking lot and enters traffic, it would imply he's alone in the car which isn't the case.

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      And since you've described Person A as driving out of the parking lot, you don't have to go on to say that Person A is clearly visible in the car, since the reader is going to imagine him visible in the car because he will imagine seeing him driving out of the parking lot and into traffic.
      Did that too because ComicBent wrote it like that because I feel like it's the only way to note that both Person A and B are in the car. It doesn't work if I write it like you wrote it above because there is no word about where Person B is.

      Originally posted by nmstevens View Post
      That's the difference between saying that one sees a car driving out of a parking lot and a person driving out of a parking lot. With the former you then need to waste additional words specifying that you see the person who's doing the driving.
      I understand and that's how I write it when there's only one person in the car, but when there are multiple people in the car, how do you note that? Saying Person A drives out of the parking lot doesn't say anything about other people in the car, you get my problem? I don't know how to write it (other than the way ComicBent wrote it) to clearly note all the people in the vehicle without making it confusing.
      ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Questions about car scenes

        Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
        Well I explained where Person C is in the action line below the scene heading - Person C is sitting in a car across the street from the parking lot, carefully observing what Person A and Person B are doing. He sees them getting into their car. Person C starts his car. - Isn't that clear enought?



        Why though if I explained in the action line below what happens in the scene heading that is the parking lot?



        I'm doing that simply because every script I've read has (Parked) and (Moving) in every car scene. Does it do any harm if I leave it like that?



        I guess that's a matter of preference then? Because although I get the point that if you put where the car is in short in the scene heading, you don't have to explain where it is in the action line below, but I feel like it's better to explain it in the action line below simply because the circumstances might not be the same. For example, I have EXT. PERSON A'S CAR (MOVING) on multiple occasions, but he's driving on different locations. The way I mean it is that I can't write EXT. PERSON A'S CAR ON THE CITY STREET (MOVING) because I have him drive on different city street every time and saying city street in the scene heading every time is confusing because it implies it's on the same city street which isn't the case. Yeah, I could write EXT PERSON A'S CAR ON THE CITY STREET #1/CITY STREET #2 etc. but again, I guess it's a matter of preference. I find it to look nicer if I just write the normal scene heading (where the character is - in the car) and then describe where the car is located in the action line along with what the character is doing.



        Because they say so in the dialogues which I skipped writing because it's not necessary.



        ComicBent told me he'd write it like that because if you write it like you said, you didn't note the presence of Person B in the car. That can be confusing because if you say that Person A drives out of the parking lot and enters traffic, it would imply he's alone in the car which isn't the case.



        Did that too because ComicBent wrote it like that because I feel like it's the only way to note that both Person A and B are in the car. It doesn't work if I write it like you wrote it above because there is no word about where Person B is.



        I understand and that's how I write it when there's only one person in the car, but when there are multiple people in the car, how do you note that? Saying Person A drives out of the parking lot doesn't say anything about other people in the car, you get my problem? I don't know how to write it (other than the way ComicBent wrote it) to clearly note all the people in the vehicle without making it confusing.

        Okay, there's a lot of stuff here, and obviously, for some of it, it's up to the writer. In general, it's all about what makes things clear to the reader.

        Also, in respect to slug lines, it's a matter of what makes things clear to production.

        INT/EXT. CAR (MOVING) DAY -- For me this is problematic because the purpose of the three parts of the slug line are as follows:

        --to establish either that the scene takes place either as an interior an exterior, because that relates to lighting issues and whether or not it's likely to be shot on a stage, whether it's night or day, which again relates to lighting issues, -- and the middle bit, which tells you where the scene takes place.

        "CAR" is not a location unless it's an interior process shot on a stage. It doesn't matter whether the car is parked or moving.

        The location of the car is where the car is. On the street corner. Across from the parking lot. On the Expressway. On Main Street. In Traffic.

        If you're going to establish that the car is going to be driving on a number of different streets -- well, then that's a number of different locations, not the same location, all of which are "EXT/INT CAR (MOVING)"

        Let me put it to you a different way.

        That same car could be parked in literally twenty different places over the course of the story. In front of Bob's house, in front of Mary's house. Across from a crack den, in front of the F.B.I., in front of a trailer park, etc.,

        So how do you describe all of those different locations? EXT/INT CAR (PARKED) -- and then fill in where the car is in the text?

        Sorry, this isn't a matter of opinion. That's just dead wrong. The purpose of the slug line is to establish the location, and a car parked in front of a trailer park is a different location from a car parked in front of Bob's house.

        That belongs in the slug line.

        In exactly the same way that the car driving on the expressway is in a different location from the same car driving on the off-ramp headed toward the airport.

        That's not information for the action. The guy who's working out the location schedule shouldn't have to dig through the text to figure out that twenty-five slug lines that are identical are actually describing wildly different places.

        As far as Person A and Person B -- first of all, I'm not talking about Person A and B because it's just too awkward.

        So here's the deal.

        Jack's watching from across the street. Bill and Ted and standing next to a rust-stained lime green Chevy, talking.

        Then, as Jack watches, Bill and Ted get into the Chevy. Bill starts the car and they pull out of the parking lot. Jack puts his car into gear and follows.

        Seriously, I think we all understand that both Bill and Ted are in the Chevy and that Bill is driving.

        Taking a step back -- as a broad rule, I don't like generic locations in the same way that I dislike generic characters.

        I do my best to avoid First Cop, Second Cop, First Thug, Second Thug, First Soldier, Second Soldier, Third Soldier -- because they're completely indistinguishable in the reader's mind. Ideally, if you've go any kind of smart director, he's going to cast these people in a way that makes they identifiable. And you can do the same.

        And I feel the same way about locations -- First Street, Second Street, Third Street. First Suburban House, Second Suburban House, Typical Suburban House, Another Suburban House -- you read that stuff and it just goes right through your head without sticking.

        So if your characters are actually making progress through a real landscape consisting of real streets that take them from one place to another, then identify the landscape, even if it only takes a few words -- and it may mean that you take two or three words to identify the location change in the slug line and then go on to clarify how they've moved from a suburban street to a commercial street to a highway to an exit, to an interstate to -- wherever they're going.

        So in the same way it's not just Cop 1 and Cop 2 and Cop 3, it's not just Street 1 and Street 2 and Street 3.

        And if you're about to object by saying that your character are always just driving on city streets so how can you avoid just saying "city street 1, 2, 3" -- this is how you do it.

        Pick a real city that has real streets and use the real street names. Even if, ultimately, they use a different city, you'd be amazed how using the real names of streets will give your script a sense of identity and geography, especially since a lot of big city give their cross street numbers or letters.

        That way, they can be at Times Square heading downtown and a while later, they can be at fourteenth Street -- and most readers will have a sense of where they're going.

        Hope all of this makes some sense.

        NMS

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        • #19
          Re: Questions about car scenes

          Thank you very much, NMS. Everything you wrote is clear and it will definitely help me a lot. However, I have a few additional questions referring to something you said.

          For example, should I state what car (type, color...) the characters are using specifically? I would like to leave producers and directors space to choose whatever car they want because I don't want to say some specific car which could lead to potential budget problems or something. You know what I mean? Although I am the writer, I feel like I shouldn't impose my personal preferences about things that don't change anything in regards to the story (car type...).

          The same goes with characters. For example, if I write: ''A tall, slim guard is standing...)'', I'm afraid it would cause the same problem for the production and/or director. I don't really care if the guard is tall and slim. It's not an important thing for the plot, so I thought it would be easier for directors to choose any person who would by their estimation fit to act as a guard and not be narrowed by my description specifically. That's why I write Guard 1, Guard 2 etc... I feel that if I describe a character in detail, that would automatically rule out all actors that don't look like that.

          All in all, what I would like to ask you is - although I imagine everything in my head, some things are not actually important such as actors who appear in one or two scenes, car types/colors or even exact locations (because it can be set in any city or town as long as it has some key features) - to clarify this, I couldn't care less if a scene is shot in L.A or New York for example because both L.A and New York have alleyways, bridges, streets, parking lots etc. you know what I mean?

          So, if I actually write ''Jack is entering his 67 Shelby Mustang'', does that create a ''burden'' for production and director? That's why I prefer not to specify something not really important for the story itself, but rather give as much freedom of choice to production and/or director as possible.

          Is my attitude towards it wrong?
          ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Questions about car scenes

            Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
            Thank you very much, NMS. Everything you wrote is clear and it will definitely help me a lot. However, I have a few additional questions referring to something you said.

            For example, should I state what car (type, color...) the characters are using specifically? I would like to leave producers and directors space to choose whatever car they want because I don't want to say some specific car which could lead to potential budget problems or something. You know what I mean? Although I am the writer, I feel like I shouldn't impose my personal preferences about things that don't change anything in regards to the story (car type...).

            The same goes with characters. For example, if I write: ''A tall, slim guard is standing...)'', I'm afraid it would cause the same problem for the production and/or director. I don't really care if the guard is tall and slim. It's not an important thing for the plot, so I thought it would be easier for directors to choose any person who would by their estimation fit to act as a guard and not be narrowed by my description specifically. That's why I write Guard 1, Guard 2 etc... I feel that if I describe a character in detail, that would automatically rule out all actors that don't look like that.

            All in all, what I would like to ask you is - although I imagine everything in my head, some things are not actually important such as actors who appear in one or two scenes, car types/colors or even exact locations (because it can be set in any city or town as long as it has some key features) - to clarify this, I couldn't care less if a scene is shot in L.A or New York for example because both L.A and New York have alleyways, bridges, streets, parking lots etc. you know what I mean?

            So, if I actually write ''Jack is entering his 67 Shelby Mustang'', does that create a ''burden'' for production and director? That's why I prefer not to specify something not really important for the story itself, but rather give as much freedom of choice to production and/or director as possible.

            Is my attitude towards it wrong?

            Rest assured, the fact that you specify a particular car or describe a character in a particular way doesn't in any way restrict the choices that the producers or the directors have in respect to completely changing not only the kind of car, the look of the character but even whether that car, that character, that location will even be in the script -- or whether you're even going to continue as the writer.

            They are completely and totally non-shy about changing any and everything about your script.

            Every word of dialogue, any and every sequence. All the characters, the whole idea of it. Everything.

            So seriously don't you worry about that for one teeny weeny little second.

            No. Your goal must always be to write the best possible version of your story that you can because ultimately that is going to be your best chance of getting your script sold, remaining involved with the project and your best defense in terms of seeing your vision, or some significant portion of it, survive to the screen.

            And one of the ways that you succeed in doing that is to help the reader to see the movie in his head as he's reading it.

            Obviously, you can't fill your pages with countless details, but it's important to choose those key details that allow you to create a vivid sense of time and place and character but also -- and this is very important -- to help your reader keep track of who people are and where they are.

            This is easy for beginning writers to forget. When you see a movie, a character comes on screen, you see him, you recognize and remember him, as you would a person in real life and presuming that casting is decent, the next time that person comes on screen, you're going to remember him (although sometimes bad casting or weak introductions can keep that from happening, even on screen).

            But on paper, you don't have the luxury of that sense of vision to help the reader distinguish Bob from Tom from Tim from Rob who are traveling in Car One and Car Two and Car Three and Car Four on City Street One and City Street Two and City Street Three and City Street Four.

            And if they become Cop One and Cop Two, etc., you end up making it that much worse, although that whole Tim and Tom thing can be pretty disastrous.

            And what's always been my rule regarding descriptions -- I always look upon external appearance as an expression of character.

            So I've said things like, "Thick-necked Thug" and "Nervous Thug" -- in some sense having a thick neck is a way someone looks, but it suggests a tough guy who works out a lot.

            Again, with minor characters you only have a few words to distinguish them, in much the same way that, in terms of casting and on-screen behavior, a director will only have a moment to give them identifying characteristics -- or to give them none and thus render them indistinguishable.

            And if you make the mistake, as some beginning writers do, of filling up a script with indistinguishable or generic characters and locations and sequences because you figure that the director's going to fill in the blanks, then I have to tell you that that's not going to happen, because it's by you filling in those blanks that's going to make the script into something that's exciting and involving and will elevate it and get people excited and that's how scripts get sold and reach the point where producers and directors and actors end up reading it and just maybe it will end up getting made.

            NMS

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            • #21
              Re: Questions about car scenes

              Thanks for a detailed answer, man. What you said definitely makes things easier for me when it comes to freedom of writing the script's key features. Ok then, time to give 'color' to the script.
              ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Questions about car scenes

                Sorry for double posting, but I have trouble with slug lines when it comes to the car scenes. I don't know how to write it correctly, so someone please read the sequence description below and correct me if the way I wrote it is wrong or if you have a better way to write it, please do, I'd really appreciate it.

                Basically, what the sequence is about is this - Two guys are in an SUV, chasing another guy in a car on a city street. Guy in the car turns into the construction site without any workmen at it currently and the driver of the SUV follows him. Now, they maneuver around all kinds of stuff on the construction site as they're driving. At one point, the guy in the car sees some major obstacle coming up in front of him and the only way to not crash into it is to jump over it using a ramp near it which he also spots and uses it to jump over the obstacle. At the same time, guys in the SUV see the guy in the car jumping over the obstacle using the ramp because obviously they're behind him. They stop the SUV before the ramp. That's the sequence.

                This is how I wrote the following car sequence.

                EXT. (CITY) STREET - DAY

                Harry hauls ass through traffic in his Shelby. Zack and Patrick stick close to him in their SUV. Harry turns into the construction site, Zack follows him.

                EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

                Construction vehicles, concrete blocks, wires and planks all over the construction site, but no workmen around, it's probably their day off. Harry maneuvers around all these obstacles, Zack barely keeps up.

                - From this point on, I don't know how to present the rest of the sequence because I don't know whether it's considered an EXT, INT or I/E when a character driving the car sees something in front of him that's outside the car. The way I imagined it to look like on screen would be - a shot of a guy in the car who appears to be shocked by the obstacle he sees in front of him, then a shot of the obstacle in a close distance from outside the car, then again a shot of a guy inside the car, nervously looking through the windshield, then a shot of a ramp (shot outside the car as if he saw it) and then the shot of a car jumping over the ramp. It's back and forth inside-outside the vehicle shots and I don't know how to present that. It's 99,9% wrong, but I wrote it like this:

                INT. HARRY'S CAR - DAY

                Harry sees a CONCRETE WALL coming up in front of him. (100% incorrect as I want the reader to know that the character in the car has spotted the obstacle in front of him (outside the car), but that the shot in that moment is showing the obstacle from outside the car, not the obstacle through the windshield, you know what I mean?) The only way across the wall is to jump over it. He spots a RAMP nearby, speeds up and uses it to JUMPS OVER the wall.

                INT. ZACK'S SUV - DAY

                Zack and Patrick see Will's car jumping over the wall (but they see it through their windshield). Zack doesn't follow. He SLAMS on the brakes and stops in front of the wall.

                I'm really having trouble with this as this isn't the only sequence where there are supposed to be back and forth inside-outside shots of the sequence happening. Does all that go under the EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY slug line, where i just write a couple of paragraphs of action or what?
                ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

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                • #23
                  Re: Questions about car scenes

                  Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
                  This is how I wrote the following car sequence.

                  EXT. (CITY) STREET - DAY

                  Harry hauls ass through traffic in his Shelby. Zack and Patrick stick close to him in their SUV. Harry turns into the construction site, Zack follows him.

                  EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

                  Construction vehicles, concrete blocks, wires and planks all over the construction site, but no workmen around, it's probably their day off. Harry maneuvers around all these obstacles, Zack barely keeps up.

                  - From this point on, I don't know how to present the rest of the sequence because I don't know whether it's considered an EXT, INT or I/E when a character driving the car sees something in front of him that's outside the car.
                  In the EXT. CITY STREET scene you established the two vehicles and the occupants.
                  I would treat all the action at the construction site as happening in one scene.

                  You could use mini slugs to focus on each of the vehicles and each of the characters to describe the action.

                  ON THE MUSTANG- a sharp left onto a narrow path.
                  HARRY'S POV - A concrete wall appears

                  Then continue however you see the action unfolding, using mini slugs for example.

                  ON THE SUV
                  INSIDE THE SUV
                  ON ZACK

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Questions about car scenes

                    Originally posted by jonpiper View Post
                    In the EXT. CITY STREET scene you established the two vehicles and the occupants.
                    I would treat all the action at the construction site as happening in one scene.

                    You could use mini slugs to focus on each of the vehicles and each of the characters to describe the action.

                    ON THE MUSTANG- a sharp left onto a narrow path.
                    HARRY'S POV - A concrete wall appears

                    Then continue however you see the action unfolding, using mini slugs for example.

                    ON THE SUV
                    INSIDE THE SUV
                    ON ZACK
                    I had a hunch something like this might do it. Thanks!
                    ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Questions about car scenes

                      Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
                      I had a hunch something like this might do it. Thanks!
                      My post and the previous discussion in this thread made me think about when a master scene heading is necessary and when a mini slug could be used.

                      To be clear, I think you should keep the master scene heading for the construction site and use mini slugs for the action:

                      EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

                      Enter description and action, using mini slugs to focus on locations and characters and vehicles within the scene.

                      But that raises a question. When is a vehicle similar to a character within a scene and when is a vehicle the location of a master scene?

                      I guess we as the screenwriter must decide when an object is the location of the scene and when it is an object within a scene. This thread referred to both cases. As a general rule, how should we decide?

                      That goes for a human character. For example, say a device enters a character's bloodstream and we follow the device as it travels through the system, does the interior of the character become the location for the scene?
                      Last edited by jonpiper; 08-09-2017, 02:50 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Questions about car scenes

                        Originally posted by jonpiper View Post
                        My post and the previous discussion in this thread made me think about when a master scene heading is necessary and when a mini slug could be used.

                        To be clear, I think you should keep the master scene heading for the construction site and use mini slugs for the action:

                        EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

                        Enter description and action, using mini slugs to focus on locations and characters and vehicles within the scene.

                        But that raises a question. When is a vehicle similar to a character within a scene and when is a vehicle the location of a master scene?

                        I guess we as the screenwriter must decide when an object is the location of the scene and when it is an object within a scene. This thread referred to both cases. As a general rule, how should we decide?

                        That goes for a human character. For example, say a device enters a character's bloodstream and we follow the device as it travels through the system, does the interior of the character become the location for the scene?
                        That is exactly what bothers me.

                        By answers I got from NMS, a car isn't a location, location is where the car is. I somewhat get the point because it makes sense to not make the job harder for whoever is choosing the potential shooting locations and that it could lead to confusion if that person sees the same master slug line like 'INT. JOHN'S CAR - DAY' multiple times during the script, but in them, the car is at different locations. That does make sense 100%

                        However, for example, what about the situation where I have a scene in which a character is seen driving down some suburban street looking through the window, searching for a specific house in that street. Now, again, I have the same problem because the way I pictured the scene in my mind would be - A shot of a car going slowly down the street, then an interior shot of the car, showing the guy looking through the window, then a shot of the guy's POV looking down the street in front of him, finally spotting the house he's been looking for - but that POV shot isn't from inside the vehicle, but outside like in front of the moving car, you know what I mean? So again, I have outside-inside-outside scene and I figured I'd use your advice on mini slug lines, but since I've never done that before, I have no idea if it's good or not. I wrote it like this:

                        EXT. FRANKLIN STREET - DAY

                        John's Camaro is slowly cruising down the empty, suburban street.

                        (After establishing that scene - I didn't know whether to put a new slug line INT. JOHN'S CAMARO - DAY or just use mini slug line because again, both make sense to me, but I went with mini slug lines)

                        JOHN'S CAMARO

                        John is nervously looking through the car window, trying to find Marie's house.

                        JOHN'S POV - OUTSIDE THE CAR

                        John spots Marie in one of the houses' driveways in a close distance, throwing a big bag into the trash can.

                        EXT. MARIE'S DRIVEWAY - DAY

                        Marie closes the trash can and looks down the street. She recognizes John's car approaching. She is shocked.

                        That's the ending of the whole sequence. Now, I don't know if all that is ok. Apart from the upper master/mini slug lines concern, my other concern is whether putting the ''EXT. MARIE'S DRIVEWAY - DAY'' master slug line after John's POV shot is correct or if I should've put another mini slug and put her scene in the driveway under the EXT. FRANKLIN SCENE too? By the way, is it common to use ''POV'' term in a spec script? I realize that's used in camera shot descriptions for shooting scripts?
                        ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

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                        • #27
                          Re: Questions about car scenes

                          Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
                          That is exactly what bothers me.

                          By answers I got from NMS, a car isn't a location, location is where the car is. I somewhat get the point because it makes sense to not make the job harder for whoever is choosing the potential shooting locations and that it could lead to confusion if that person sees the same master slug line like 'INT. JOHN'S CAR - DAY' multiple times during the script, but in them, the car is at different locations. That does make sense 100%
                          A car, like a truck or other vehicle, could be a shooting location, if significant action takes place inside the vehicle. The key, I think, is significant action inside the vehicle. Otherwise use mini-slugs or just treat the vehicle as a character in the action lines.

                          If the vehicle is in different places throughout the scrip and that would be confusing for production scheduling, you could add that info to the master scene heading:

                          INT. JOHN'S CAR (LIQUOR STORE)- DAY

                          INT. JOHN'S CAR (BANK) - DAY

                          As far as a reader is concerned, the scene leading up to the car scene should alleviate any confusion.


                          Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
                          However, for example, what about the situation where I have a scene in which a character is seen driving down some suburban street looking through the window, searching for a specific house in that street. Now, again, I have the same problem because the way I pictured the scene in my mind would be - A shot of a car going slowly down the street, then an interior shot of the car, showing the guy looking through the window, then a shot of the guy's POV looking down the street in front of him, finally spotting the house he's been looking for - but that POV shot isn't from inside the vehicle, but outside like in front of the moving car, you know what I mean? So again, I have outside-inside-outside scene and I figured I'd use your advice on mini slug lines, but since I've never done that before, I have no idea if it's good or not. I wrote it like this:

                          EXT. FRANKLIN STREET - DAY

                          John's Camaro is slowly cruising down the empty, suburban street.

                          (After establishing that scene - I didn't know whether to put a new slug line INT. JOHN'S CAMARO - DAY or just use mini slug line because again, both make sense to me, but I went with mini slug lines)

                          JOHN'S CAMARO

                          John is nervously looking through the car window, trying to find Marie's house.

                          JOHN'S POV - OUTSIDE THE CAR

                          John spots Marie in one of the houses' driveways in a close distance, throwing a big bag into the trash can.

                          EXT. MARIE'S DRIVEWAY - DAY

                          Marie closes the trash can and looks down the street. She recognizes John's car approaching. She is shocked.

                          By the way, is it common to use ''POV'' term in a spec script? I realize that's used in camera shot descriptions for shooting scripts?
                          Is it necessary to call out shots like you did? I think mini - slugs are most effective when there is a lot of action in the scene, like your Construction Site scene, or when you want to generate a surprise. I think one master scene heading would suffice and no slug lines are needed.

                          EXT. FRANKLIN STREET - DAY

                          John's Camaro is slowly cruising down the empty, suburban street.

                          John nervously scans the street, searching for Marie's house.

                          John accelerates when he notices Marie up ahead, throwing a big bag into a trash can.

                          As Marie closes the trash can, she sees John's car speeding toward her. She screams.


                          I don't know if POV is common, but I think when it enhances the read, use it.

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                          • #28
                            Re: Questions about car scenes

                            Originally posted by jonpiper View Post
                            [B]A car, like a truck or other vehicle, could be a shooting location, if significant action takes place inside the vehicle. The key, I think, is significant action inside the vehicle. Otherwise use mini-slugs or just treat the vehicle as a character in the action lines.
                            Yeah, that makes the most sense to me too.

                            Originally posted by jonpiper View Post
                            Is it necessary to call out shots like you did? I think mini - slugs are most effective when there is a lot of action in the scene, like your Construction Site scene, or when you want to generate a surprise. I think one master scene heading would suffice and no slug lines are needed.

                            EXT. FRANKLIN STREET - DAY

                            John's Camaro is slowly cruising down the empty, suburban street.

                            John nervously scans the street, searching for Marie's house.

                            John accelerates when he notices Marie up ahead, throwing a big bag into a trash can.

                            As Marie closes the trash can, she sees John's car speeding toward her. She screams.
                            Well, I just recently found out that I can actually use those mini slug lines, so that's new to me. Good thing about them is that they save space. However, the confusing problem I have in using the mini slug lines is that I'm having trouble determining what can be put into the same scene heading (guided with mini slug lines within it) and when it's needed to note a new master scene heading, you know what I mean?

                            I've been reading a lot of scripts lately and many, if not most use a master scene heading when describing a scene that takes place in front of a house, whether it's EXT. HOUSE or EXT. HOUSE'S DRIVEWAY or something similar. In my case (or your example), you put the master scene heading as EXT. FRANKLIN STREET and you put the scene that happens in front of a house in that street within that same scene heading. What you did makes perfect sense and writing it like that would make my writing a lot easier, but at the same time, I'm seeing the master scene headings referring to the house within a street in other scripts. Maybe they use the EXT. HOUSE and similar stuff when a scene starts at that place only, not within a sequence of shots. I guess you can understand my confusion.

                            Like, I have a similar scene that happens in a hotel, in front of a hotel (parking lot) and in a car at that parking lot in a sequence - two guys are standing in the lobby and as they look through the window, they see another guy entering his car at the hotel parking lot. Then there's a shot of that guy inside his car, starting it, then a shot of him looking through his car's windshield and seeing the two guys run out of the hotel and then a shot of the guy's car speeding out of the parking lot. Using the method you wrote above for the FRANKLIN STREET sequence, I guess it's good to write this scene like this:

                            INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

                            Michael and Jerry walk down the stairs to the main lobby. As they approach the front desk, Michael glances outside and spots John entering his car at the hotel parking lot.

                            EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT

                            John enters his car and starts it. He looks towards the hotel's main door, which at that moment SWING OPEN, and Michael and Jerry run outside.

                            John quickly puts the car in reverse and speeds out of the parking lot before Michael and Jerry get to him.


                            Is that right? As of now, I have it written like this:

                            I/E. HOTEL LOBBY / HOTEL'S PARKING LOT - DAY

                            Michael and Jerry walk down the stairs to the main lobby. As they approach the front desk, Michael glances outside and spots John entering his car at the hotel parking lot.

                            INT. JOHN'S CAR - DAY

                            John enters his car and starts it. He looks towards the hotel's main door, which at that moment SWING OPEN, and Michael and Jerry run outside.

                            EXT. HOTEL'S PARKING LOT

                            Michael and Jerry rush towards John's car, but he speeds out of the parking lot before they get close to his car.


                            I guess I should re-write the sequence using the first form with putting everything under one master slug line like you suggested, right?
                            ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

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                            • #29
                              Re: Questions about car scenes

                              Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
                              However, the confusing problem I have in using the mini slug lines is that I'm having trouble determining what can be put into the same scene heading (guided with mini slug lines within it) and when it's needed to note a new master scene heading, you know what I mean?

                              In my case (or your example), you put the master scene heading as EXT. FRANKLIN STREET and you put the scene that happens in front of a house in that street within that same scene heading. What you did makes perfect sense and writing it like that would make my writing a lot easier, but at the same time, I'm seeing the master scene headings referring to the house within a street in other scripts. Maybe they use the EXT. HOUSE and similar stuff when a scene starts at that place only, not within a sequence of shots. I guess you can understand my confusion.
                              Whether you use mini-slugs or just action lines that imply shots as Tiger Fang and I suggested for your example, you are asking how much area, how many characters and vehicles, and how much action you can include in a scene or under one master scene heading.

                              For a spec script, I think a scene can be as large and with as much in it as you think is required to create an enjoyable read. You decide. There are many good ways to write a scene.

                              I included the outside of the house within the EXT. FRANKLIN STREET scene because it worked. A separate scene was unnecessary and wouldn't work as well.

                              Originally posted by JasonRaven View Post
                              Like, I have a similar scene that happens in a hotel, in front of a hotel (parking lot) and in a car at that parking lot in a sequence - two guys are standing in the lobby and as they look through the window, they see another guy entering his car at the hotel parking lot. Then there's a shot of that guy inside his car, starting it, then a shot of him looking through his car's windshield and seeing the two guys run out of the hotel and then a shot of the guy's car speeding out of the parking lot. Using the method you wrote above for the FRANKLIN STREET sequence, I guess it's good to write this scene like this:

                              INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

                              Michael and Jerry walk down the stairs to the main lobby. As they approach the front desk, Michael glances outside and spots John entering his car at the hotel parking lot.

                              EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT

                              John enters his car and starts it. He looks towards the hotel's main door, which at that moment SWING OPEN, and Michael and Jerry run outside.

                              John quickly puts the car in reverse and speeds out of the parking lot before Michael and Jerry get to him.
                              Your rewrite definitely reads better than the way you had written it. Just to be clear your rewrite contains two master scene headings, and should because it does not lend itself to one, unless you want to delete what happens in the hotel lobby, which you may.

                              Your original draft is confusing. It seems like you are trying to intercut two scenes.

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                              • #30
                                Re: Questions about car scenes

                                @TigerFang and @jonpiper

                                Thank you guys very much! Your advices have been very helpful and I will definitely keep them in mind for the future.
                                ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

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