Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

    Show don't tell. Don't tell me that a character is hard on the surface but soft on the inside. Show me.

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

      The thing I always feel about character intros is that the things you tell me have to be both things that I can see and things that the character has some control over.

      e.g., telling me a character has brown hair tells me nothing about them. Telling me that they have neon blue hair does.

      This is where the hair-makeup-wardrobe advice comes from. I have no control over my height. My height tells you NOTHING about me (and also, they're not going to not cast Tom Cruise because he's shorter than the 6'2 you listed in your character intro). I do have control over what I'm wearing.

      Now, if somebody clearly spends a ton of time in the gym, well, that's telling me something about them. If I haven't shaved in four days, that's something I have control over, it's telling you about me.

      I strongly dislike "people remember him as larger than he is" because it's an abstract concept that I can't picture. A guy can't walk into frame and have me think, "oh, yeah, I'll remember him as bigger than he is." I don't know what it looks like. (In fact, telling me that I'll remember someone as bigger than he is does the exactly opposite of telling me what someone looks like: it tells me what I WON'T notice - how small he is.)

      There are other ways at getting at similar ideas that, I think, are more obviously visible. e.g., "Spends more time lifting weights than he needs to," right? It's not exactly the same idea but it's similar.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

        e.g., telling me a character has brown hair tells me nothing about them. Telling me that they have neon blue hair does.
        I like that, well put.
        @hairingtons

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

          I wonder if it's not so much a matter of the character description sentence, as it is what your character does once he's introduced. You can write a great, compelling description of the character, but if his actual actions don't resonate then it doesn't matter much.

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

            I always liked the way Shane Black introduced Harry in "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang".

            "AN ALMOST HANDSOME MAN enters, dressed a tad shabby, sports the only tie he owns; welcome HARRY, our narrator."

            I know you can't see that it's the only tie he owns, but it's great shorthand and that one sentence capsulizes the character Shane Black created.
            "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

              I wonder if it's not so much a matter of the character description sentence, as it is what your character does once he's introduced. You can write a great, compelling description of the character, but if his actual actions don't resonate then it doesn't matter much.
              Quite possible. (And I've tweaked both)

              I reckon you can have the worst character description in the world, but if their introduction is amazing, all will be well in the world.

              I always liked the way Shane Black introduced Harry in "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang".

              "AN ALMOST HANDSOME MAN enters, dressed a tad shabby, sports the only tie he owns; welcome HARRY, our narrator."

              I know you can't see that it's the only tie he owns, but it's great shorthand and that one sentence capsulizes the character Shane Black created.
              Yeah that's cool, that tie can give you a whole back story.
              @hairingtons

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

                Originally posted by StoryWriter View Post
                If you made him archetypal someone else would have said he should play against archetype.

                I liked the description of the protagonist. I could see him.
                Originally posted by StoryWriter View Post
                It's a movie. When he's first introduced, all I can do is see him. I'll learn more about him through his actions and his words as the story progresses.

                I guess I've read too many scripts that give me no visuals whatsoever. Like one I read recently that had three boys and introduced them this way: "John (15), Bob (15) and Mark (15) are..." (True fictional names hidden to protect the fictional characters identities.)
                There's a balance, and a finesses to this approach. I write for the readers on the first pass. They're the first audience. I won't get to the screen if I don't get through to the execs. Ronaldinho has it spot-on. There are many ways to describe "buff" that also give a motivating sense of the character. It works for the mind's eye, and the screen.

                Stereotypes and archetypes are a writer's tool, not something to be feared and avoided at all costs.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Notes - Thoughts on Some Notes Please

                  Originally posted by MoviePen View Post
                  There's a balance, and a finesses to this approach. I write for the readers on the first pass. They're the first audience. I won't get to the screen if I don't get through to the execs. Ronaldinho has it spot-on. There are many ways to describe "buff" that also give a motivating sense of the character. It works for the mind's eye, and the screen.

                  Stereotypes and archetypes are a writer's tool, not something to be feared and avoided at all costs.
                  I agree -- it's always a balancing act and I've always respected what Ronaldinho had to say about writing screenplays. (I even met him before he won his Nicholl Fellowship.)

                  What I don't respect so much are a lot of the notes from Blacklist, that can often be interpreted as positive or negative. A lot of them are cliches from a bullsh## spreader, and are usually just positive enough to get the sucker (er, writer) to cough up the money for at least one more review.
                  "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X