Re: Another "we see" question - seriously
No, it's great. I think I'm going to use it to list everything that isn't on camera in a scene.
"Dale walks into the room. We don't see that he's got twenty three dollars in his pocket. We don't see his heart beating. We don't see that he wants to move to California someday. We don't see that he's got a gun, even though we will see it forty pages from now."
No, it's great. I think I'm going to use it to list everything that isn't on camera in a scene.
"Dale walks into the room. We don't see that he's got twenty three dollars in his pocket. We don't see his heart beating. We don't see that he wants to move to California someday. We don't see that he's got a gun, even though we will see it forty pages from now."
Are you suggesting there's a better way to write that scene?
I don't care if somebody else uses "we see" or not.
Here's my point:
To suggest that it's okay to use "we see" because pros do it, nobody cares, without over-thinking is dangerous advice.
People will do that without considering the most important reason: because it's the best and clearest way to communicate what the screenwriter has to say. And you can't do that without taking the time and energy to consider the alternatives.
Show us alternatives and explain why one is better than the others. Then we can learn.
"I am the story itself; its source, its voice, its music."
- Clive Barker, Galilee
Re: Another "we see" question - seriously
IMO, the only important thing is clarity. The reader gets what's happening in the scene. The writing is clear, understandable, and plays like a movie -- with or without "we see".
The only real problem with "we see" is people making it a problem.
IMO, the only important thing is clarity. The reader gets what's happening in the scene. The writing is clear, understandable, and plays like a movie -- with or without "we see".
The only real problem with "we see" is people making it a problem.
Dolly hits Soupy in the face with a cream pie.
We see Dolly hit Soupy in the face with a cream pie.
Both are clear, understandable, and play like a movie.
Are you suggesting that one may be better than the other shouldn't matter to the screenwriter?
"I am the story itself; its source, its voice, its music."
- Clive Barker, Galilee
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