Words to Eliminate...

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  • Words to Eliminate...

    from your scripts.

    List them here:
    that
    just
    stand
    begins to
    starts to
    of the
    very
    both
    seems to


    do a search through your script for each word on the list and delete it. fix that sentence and make that line stronger. soon you will no longer put them in your first drafts and be one step closer.

    add more words to the list at will.

  • #2
    Re: Words to Eliminate...

    Originally posted by NikeeGoddess View Post
    from your scripts.

    List them here:
    that
    just
    stand
    begins to
    starts to
    of the
    very
    both
    seems to


    do a search through your script for each word on the list and delete it. fix that sentence and make that line stronger. soon you will no longer put them in your first drafts and be one step closer.

    add more words to the list at will.
    Good advice. Especially noticeable is "begins to," "starts to." These stand out like sore thumbs in scripts written by others, but show up all the time in my own scripts.
    STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Words to Eliminate...

      While I agree that certain phrases can be tightened, none of these elimination suggestions actually help you tell a stronger story.

      Read Craig Zahler's 150+ page scripts. The industry doesn't care how verbose he is because his stories are full of great characters, themes, and plot.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Words to Eliminate...

        Originally posted by NikeeGoddess View Post
        from your scripts.

        List them here:
        that
        just
        stand
        begins to
        starts to
        of the
        very
        both
        seems to

        do a search through your script for each word on the list and delete it. fix that sentence and make that line stronger. soon you will no longer put them in your first drafts and be one step closer.

        add more words to the list at will.
        Myth.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Words to Eliminate...

          Originally posted by Hamboogul View Post
          While I agree that certain phrases can be tightened, none of these elimination suggestions actually help you tell a stronger story.

          Read Craig Zahler's 150+ page scripts. The industry doesn't care how verbose he is because his stories are full of great characters, themes, and plot.
          +1.


          Or to be even more succinct: I learn from the pro scripts out there. And these words and phrases are used aplenty.


          Originally posted by Centos View Post
          Good advice. Especially noticeable is "begins to," "starts to."
          Not saying this is your rationale but one of the myths (alongside "we see" pulling people out of scripts) is that "begins" and "starts" are unnecessary because you either are doing something or not - ie: how can you "begin" to walk? However, as said, 'tis but a myth. A fallacy.

          Nothing in that list is wrong or bad. I just didn't want to comment first.
          Last edited by SundownInRetreat; 03-19-2012, 08:27 AM.
          M.A.G.A.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Words to Eliminate...

            ^To every rule there's an exception.

            "Hello, I'm an aspiring screenwriter; I'd like to interest you in my 150 page script about - "
            "Are you serious? 150 pages? Get the fvck out, n00b."

            Begins/starts are beginner errors but sometimes they work (some times).
            Cufk, Tish, Sips.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Words to Eliminate...

              here is an example with 2 applications:

              seems to -- many people use this when they want to say how someone looks or behaviors or whatever, but if used correctly it's how they're actually faking.

              iggy seems like he knows what he's talking about.
              or
              iggy talks with authority.

              referring to the first example, iggy would say, "why do i only seem like it when what she really meant to say was the 2nd line?"
              and
              which line is stronger?

              which would you prefer, iggy?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Words to Eliminate...

                Originally posted by NikeeGoddess View Post
                here is an example with 2 applications:

                seems to -- many people use this when they want to say how someone looks or behaviors or whatever, but if used correctly it's how they're actually faking.

                iggy seems like he knows what he's talking about.
                or
                iggy talks with authority.

                referring to the first example, iggy would say, "why do i only seem like it when what she really meant to say was the 2nd line?"
                and
                which line is stronger?
                Not necessarily. One particular situation is when you want to imply uncertainty or just how something appears to be, rather than is.
                M.A.G.A.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Words to Eliminate...

                  Michael Clayton:

                  that - found on 100 out of 128 pages
                  just - found on 80 pages
                  stand - found on 37 pages
                  begins to - found on 2 pages
                  starts to - found on 3 pages
                  of the - found on 48 pages
                  very - found on 65 pages
                  both - found on 5 pages
                  seems to - found on 1 page

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Words to Eliminate...

                    Originally posted by JeffLowell View Post
                    Michael Clayton:

                    that - found on 100 out of 128 pages
                    just - found on 80 pages
                    stand - found on 37 pages
                    begins to - found on 2 pages
                    starts to - found on 3 pages
                    of the - found on 48 pages
                    very - found on 65 pages
                    both - found on 5 pages
                    seems to - found on 1 page

                    Great! A pro has spoken. Now, can we end thread?




                    And can we also stop the noobie myth threads that have appeared of late? It's just regurgitating terrible advice.
                    M.A.G.A.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Words to Eliminate...

                      It's complete bullsh!t.

                      Okay, not 'complete' bullsh!t, because I do believe that stripping away these things 'CAN' help improve the read and flow or writing,

                      BUT

                      they can be used very effectively. Like any tool, you use the right tool for the right job.

                      To say not to use them is wrong. Use them in the right way at the right time.

                      Someone once told be to eliminate the word 'suddenly' from my scripts, because something either happens or it does.

                      This is just another bullsh!t myth.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Words to Eliminate...

                        Great tip, especially for writers making the transition from prose-heavy mediums like novels or short stories.

                        This isn't a myth or bad advice. Treat it for what it is, a writing tip. It's not a rule, and it may be modified as each writer gains experience and confidence. It won't help you tell a better story, but it will help you tell a story better.

                        I'd add "is/are" and adverbs to the list, particularly ones ending in "-ly". Both make for passive writing, while eliminating them forces you to be more creative, more efficient, and your action lines become more active with a higher impact.

                        Case in point: The street is lined with tall office buildings.
                        Modify to: Tall office buildings line the street.

                        A very simple example, and still eight words become six and the writing moves from passive (is lined with) to active (line).
                        Vancouver Screenwriters Meetup Group

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Words to Eliminate...

                          Originally posted by ReneC View Post
                          Great tip, especially for writers making the transition from prose-heavy mediums like novels or short stories.

                          This isn't a myth or bad advice. Treat it for what it is, a writing tip. It's not a rule, and it may be modified as each writer gains experience and confidence. It won't help you tell a better story, but it will help you tell a story better.

                          I'd add "is/are" and adverbs to the list, particularly ones ending in "-ly". Both make for passive writing, while eliminating them forces you to be more creative, more efficient, and your action lines become more active with a higher impact.

                          Case in point: The street is lined with tall office buildings.
                          Modify to: Tall office buildings line the street.

                          A very simple example, and still eight words become six and the writing moves from passive (is lined with) to active (line).
                          No. They are myth and bad advice. As is the bit in bold.

                          Anyway, as people insist on rumbling on with this BS, I'll leave them to it.
                          M.A.G.A.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Words to Eliminate...

                            Originally posted by SundownInRetreat View Post
                            No. They are myth and bad advice. As is the bit in bold.

                            Anyway, as people insist on rumbling on with this BS, I'll leave them to it.
                            I'm curious why you're so against these writing tips, especially since we haven't seen anything from you on these boards to suggest you speak with any authority on the subject.
                            Vancouver Screenwriters Meetup Group

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Words to Eliminate...

                              Avoiding passive voice isn't a "myth" or "bad advice" at all.

                              Baby/bath water.

                              Jeez.
                              ==========

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