Characters facial expressions

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  • Characters facial expressions

    Hi,
    I am looking for an alternative (shorter) way to write characters facial expressions in the action lines. As I found out through many screenplays I have read, other writers usually use:
    "Gives him sidelong glances / glares at him ferocious / she looks on wistfully / throws him a cautious glance / casts him a...-

    Would it also be okay to write:
    "Cautiously glances at him / gazes furiously at / gapes desperate at / gawks madly at her / sarcastically peers at / glimpses grumpy at / squints greedy at / cheerfully peeks at / enthralled squints at / alienated peers at her / alarmed stares at / eagerly peeks at...-

    This way I can cut 1-3 words from a line, which can be quite a lot if done through the whole screenplay.
    Thanks for any advice.

  • #2
    Re: Characters facial expressions

    Originally posted by slopnik View Post
    Hi,
    I am looking for an alternative (shorter) way to write characters facial expressions in the action lines. As I found out through many screenplays I have read, other writers usually use:
    "Gives him sidelong glances / glares at him ferocious / she looks on wistfully / throws him a cautious glance / casts him a...-

    Would it also be okay to write:
    "Cautiously glances at him / gazes furiously at / gapes desperate at / gawks madly at her / sarcastically peers at / glimpses grumpy at / squints greedy at / cheerfully peeks at / enthralled squints at / alienated peers at her / alarmed stares at / eagerly peeks at...-
    Some of the examples in your second paragraph are grammatically incorrect - you need to be using an adverb, which alarmed/alienated/grumpy/desparate are not.

    That being said, I would also say that while this sort of thing is essential, it's also something that inexperienced writers overdo. If you do too much of it, it feels like the characters are constantly mugging at each other, and begins to feel silly. There are times when the scene doesn't work without it, but otherwise, treat very sparingly.

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    • #3
      Re: Characters facial expressions

      My personal preference is to try to cut facial expressions back to a handful across the script - points where their absence might confuse the reader. (At least by the final draft.) I'd rather try to hone scenes until the reader knows what the character is feeling without all the winks-nods-glances-squints and what-have-you.

      One of the more difficult lessons in screenwriting (one I'm still learning, I'm sure) is to separate essential detail from extraneous detail, and facial expressions are a big part of that.
      Patrick Sweeney

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      • #4
        Re: Characters facial expressions

        I'm part of a writer's group where actors cold read material on stage and the thing I learned is you really don't need to use them at all, unless you're directing attention to something specific. Everything an actor needs should be in your dialogue. Trust your actors.

        A great script to see this in action is THE IMITATION GAME. Check out the scene where young Alan learns about what happened to Christopher. That scene as written is all dialogue, nothing else. Yet it's the most powerful scene in the movie.

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        • #5
          Re: Characters facial expressions

          Originally posted by docgonzo View Post
          A great script to see this in action is THE IMITATION GAME. Check out the scene where young Alan learns about what happened to Christopher. That scene as written is all dialogue, nothing else. Yet it's the most powerful scene in the movie.
          This is a great tip, by the way. Print out a script (or call it up on your laptop or pad) and read it while watching the film. It's kind of amazing the first time you try it - most of those facial expressions and other details you thought were so crucial aren't on the page at all. At least, not explicitly.
          Patrick Sweeney

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          • #6
            Re: Characters facial expressions

            I let actors decide what to do with their faces...

            I just decide what they do with their bodies (actions).

            Bill
            Free Script Tips:
            http://www.scriptsecrets.net

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Characters facial expressions

              Hi,
              I guess you all figure out I am not from the USA, therefore my a bit naive question. Would “alarmingly / alienating / grumpily/ desperately” be the correct form (not sure for alienating or alienatingly)?

              As I found through net, adverbs end with –ly and are mostly unwelcome in screenplays. Would then a simple furious gaze/glimpse/stare be more appropriate?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Characters facial expressions

                Originally posted by docgonzo View Post
                A great script to see this in action is THE IMITATION GAME. Check out the scene where young Alan learns about what happened to Christopher. That scene as written is all dialogue, nothing else. Yet it's the most powerful scene in the movie.
                No idea if I get this Quote thing right, so apologies for any mess I make here.

                You mean the page 115 one from this link: https://vk.com/doc15720578_234482572

                There are two pages of almost only dialogue, which goes against all known rules; and then again rules are made to be broken and this is a shooting screenplay as far I can tell.

                I can try to cut out most of my facial gestures (some because they are grammatically wrong as you have noticed and I had no idea about it.) If I do that, I somehow fear that the screenplay would read awkwardly. Just people talking, doing an occasional thing (drama, thriller). In action and comedies, there are many opportunities to fill the pages with dialogue with different stuff, but drama and thriller rely more on character and his state in a scene.

                Would that mean that dramas and thrillers have much more dialogue than action lines (I have been so busy with the rewritings that I have not read a decent screenplay in months.)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Characters facial expressions

                  Originally posted by wcmartell View Post
                  I let actors decide what to do with their faces...

                  I just decide what they do with their bodies (actions).

                  Bill
                  Hi,

                  I have tried to follow your advices on your page, but my stupid Firefox for some reason did not refresh the page each day (I thought you went on vacation). After checking your link from this site, I saw the new post. I guess I will have to manually search for new advices on your site... which are for beginners like me worth gold and always welcomed.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Characters facial expressions

                    Originally posted by slopnik View Post
                    You mean the page 115 one from this link: https://vk.com/doc15720578_234482572

                    There are two pages of almost only dialogue, which goes against all known rules; and then again rules are made to be broken and this is a shooting screenplay as far I can tell.
                    Uh ...

                    Look, those pages aren't violating ANY RULE AT ALL. In fact, that's pretty much the standard you'll see in a lot of screenplays: there is NO NEED to break it up with action, there it is not broken up with action.

                    That is not breaking a rule. That's the norm.

                    Whomever told you that there was a rule to break it up with action every so often was just wrong.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Characters facial expressions

                      Originally posted by Ronaldinho View Post
                      Whomever told you that there was a rule to break it up with action every so often was just wrong.
                      Okay, maybe the word "rule- was a wrong pick, because there are no official rules in this business, which is the biggest problem.

                      I am aware there are screenplays where dialog spreads page after page (there was a comedy about sex and the screenplay started with 8-10 pages of only dialogue while both characters were in bed).

                      What I am saying is that most of the pros (insiders, script consultants, gurus, old geeks in this business, call them what you want) advise strongly against writing only dialogue:

                      "Break now and then dialogue with an action line...-
                      "Do not write only dialogue. This is lazy writing and a big no-no in...-
                      "Only dialogue on a page screams AMATEUR...-

                      These are only a couple of quotes I remember from hundreds of pages I have surfed through (Inktip, Scriptmag...)

                      And that is the real problem; no official rules and dozens of them who try to burn their ideas into your head. If you listen to all of them, you end in a Nuthouse. Therefore, I am thankful for every advice I can get. Using them all in a correct way is the big MF in this business.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Characters facial expressions

                        Originally posted by slopnik View Post
                        These are only a couple of quotes I remember from hundreds of pages I have surfed through (Inktip, Scriptmag...)

                        And that is the real problem; no official rules and dozens of them who try to burn their ideas into your head. If you listen to all of them, you end in a Nuthouse. Therefore, I am thankful for every advice I can get. Using them all in a correct way is the big MF in this business.
                        The internet is a real mixed blessing. When I was at university the only scripts you could read were the handful of Faber and Faber ones, and often they were presented in stage-play format. Now everything's at the tip of your fingers and as you say, you risk following so much contradictory advice that you go insane.

                        I think you might get more from this forum if you post specific examples of your writing that you want to improve or are unsure about, then others can give specific advice as to whether they think it's working or not. It's also likely to be more instructive than all these titbits you've picked up about not using '-ly' words, or caps, or breaking up pages of dialogue.

                        JJ.
                        My stuff

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Characters facial expressions

                          Originally posted by Patrick Sweeney View Post
                          I'd rather try to hone scenes until the reader knows what the character is feeling without all the winks-nods-glances-squints and what-have-you.
                          I agree with this -- if it's in the scene then you don't need to write these reaction shots. They're extraneous and tedious to read.

                          On the other hand, sometimes when you're seeing the characters in your mind's-eye, some visualization of their behavior can seem vivid and adds to the scene on the page. The key I think is to write playable behavior.

                          I'm reading the published screenplay for The Palm Beach Story and loved this line Sturges wrote for "John D." (played by Rudy Vallee): "The laugh falls off his face like a hot towel." It helps visualize the character as you read the script, and if you've seen the film it's played perfectly in the scene by Rudy Vallee. And it's funny.

                          I suggest you try to get ahold of published screenplays that are the writer's original drafts, not scripts that are transcriptions of the films after they've been shot (where indeed the transcriber may feel compelled to insert a lot of reactions to describe what's happening in the scene, but those bits weren't originally written that way).

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                          • #14
                            Re: Characters facial expressions

                            Originally posted by slopnik View Post
                            Okay, maybe the word "rule- was a wrong pick, because there are no official rules in this business, which is the biggest problem.

                            I am aware there are screenplays where dialog spreads page after page (there was a comedy about sex and the screenplay started with 8-10 pages of only dialogue while both characters were in bed).

                            What I am saying is that most of the pros (insiders, script consultants, gurus, old geeks in this business, call them what you want) advise strongly against writing only dialogue:

                            "Break now and then dialogue with an action line...-
                            "Do not write only dialogue. This is lazy writing and a big no-no in...-
                            "Only dialogue on a page screams AMATEUR...-

                            These are only a couple of quotes I remember from hundreds of pages I have surfed through (Inktip, Scriptmag...)

                            And that is the real problem; no official rules and dozens of them who try to burn their ideas into your head. If you listen to all of them, you end in a Nuthouse. Therefore, I am thankful for every advice I can get. Using them all in a correct way is the big MF in this business.
                            You will hear/read these things -- in the same way that you'll see the opposite -- that you shouldn't have page after page of "just description" without dialogue -- but then what do you make of a movie like "All Is Lost" which has virtually no dialogue.

                            And there are lots of other movies that have long action sequences with no dialogue.

                            Neither of them are doing anything wrong -- so what do make of this advice to beginners not to do either of these things? Is it just flat wrong?

                            Well -- yes and no.

                            These are "rules of thumb" for beginners and, like all rules of thumb, they are not really rules. They are like the things that adults tell children to avoid because we want to keep them from making mistakes.

                            Things like "don't cross the street" and "stay away from that hot stove."

                            When you're all grown up and you understand all about cars and crosswalks and how to avoid getting burned, you get to cross the street and you no longer have to stay away from the stove.

                            The "rules of thumb" are for beginners and people tend to say things to beginners like "avoid page after page of "just dialogue" or "just description" because -- in scripts written by beginners, those things tend to indicate mistakes.

                            And so when a reader is paging through a script and they see page after page of dialogue without anything breaking it up or page after page of description with nothing breaking it up, there's a little alarm that goes off -- maybe this isn't going to be too good.

                            But that's because it almost always means that the beginning writer is simply writing too much dialogue -- or too much description.

                            The trouble is -- if you're written too much dialogue or too much description, just breaking it with with a random line of description or a random line of dialogue isn't really going to fix it.

                            There's never a problem writing anything, so long as what you're writing draws the reader in and keeps making him want to read more.

                            Multiple pages of dialogue only -- perfectly fine. Same with just action. Perfectly fine.

                            And just to make a broader point -- in a story sense -- dialogue is "action," in the sense that it's moving the story forward, advancing the needs of the Protagonist.

                            Some movies are pretty much all dialogue - The Maltese Falcon, Twelve Angry Men, All the President's Men -- nothing happens in those movies, pretty much, except people talking to other people.

                            It's just that the action of the story is advanced through that dialogue.

                            NMS

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                            • #15
                              Re: Characters facial expressions

                              Originally posted by slopnik View Post
                              rted with 8-10 pages of only dialogue while both characters were in bed).

                              What I am saying is that most of the pros (insiders, script consultants, gurus, old geeks in this business, call them what you want) advise strongly against writing only dialogue:

                              "Break now and then dialogue with an action line...-
                              "Do not write only dialogue. This is lazy writing and a big no-no in...-
                              "Only dialogue on a page screams AMATEUR...-
                              In addition to seconding everything NMS wrote (particularly about how that's advice for beginners which is sort of short-cutting around the actual problem) - I just want to add that there's a ton of bad advice out there.

                              You have to always consider the source. Which is, um, you know a weird thing to say coming from a pseudonymous guy on the internet, but this pseudonyms guy is a pro, and NMS is another pro (a more successful one that me).

                              There's a lot of advice that makes sense when you read it in the context of screenplays that are far worse than what the average DPPer is writing, that maybe doesn't once you've achieved a certain level of competence.

                              And the thing is, a lot of writers do, occasionally, break up long chunks of dialog with a random bit of action just because they prefer the flow on the page that way. Which is totally fine. I've done it myself. But it's also fine if you don't - which I've also done myself.

                              That being said, the second and third quote above - I'm skeptical that those were written by somebody who actually knew what they were talking about.

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