That movie with the kid and the four elements

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  • #16
    Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

    Here's an excerpt from THE HAPPENING script to prove my point:

    WOMAN ON CELL PHONE
    It's okay honey. It's okay.
    (to group)
    She's so scared.
    (to daughter)
    You just stay in that room. Don't open
    that door for nothing.
    (listens)
    ...It's okay there's a tree outside your
    window baby. It's not going to do
    nothing.
    (she listens and then tells the
    group)
    She keeps saying everyone's dead
    outside.

    Elliot and Alma exchange a look.

    WOMAN ON CELL PHONE
    (to daughter)
    You just stay in your room baby.
    (listens)
    ...What I can't understand what
    you're saying?
    (listens)
    What?
    (listens)
    ...I can't understand what you're
    saying.
    (listens)
    ...What baby?
    (to group)
    She's not making any sense.
    (listens)
    ...Baby I can't understand what
    you're saying.
    (beat)
    ...Stacy?
    (beat)
    ...Stacy?
    (to group)
    I can't hear anything.

    WOMAN ON CELL PHONE
    (yells into the phone)
    ...Stacy!
    (beat)
    ...Stacy Ann you answer me right now!

    Elliot walks away from the group as the woman continues to yell for her daughter. Elliot walks to a lone spot on the road and sits down.
    If any of us wrote that and posted it on the Script Pages forum we'd be eviscerated for it. That's over a page of high value real estate in a slim 106 page script. The fact that it comes from someone who gets paid to do this for a living is utterly shameful.

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    • #17
      Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

      Nikee, to answer your question, the powers that be should not be the powers that be if they read a script like THE HAPPENING and think it should be made at all. And yes, several studios passed on it before it did get made. But your argument is apologist nonsense in my opinion. Hollywood puts out what, 100-200 wide releases every year? If they actually took the industry's best 100-200 scripts available for every given year, assigned a director with proven artistic success under their belt (or at least proof of vision) and gave them creative control, cast actors and actresses that were right for their parts, employed skilled crews, and finally hired editors who can find the best story in the raw material, a good 95% of movies would be quality. Even if individual films were not every individual audience member's particular cup of tea. But you're saying growing numbers of awful movies being churned out by the studio system have value because they show the suits that they're wrong and show us screenwriters what doesn't work? That's an extraordinarily slim margin that "benefits", don't you think? Does McDonald's have value because it shows us what type of food gives us diahrea?

      Right now I would trust the average video store clerk to do a better job running a Hollywood studio than the monkeys in charge. If not from a commercial standpoint, then certainly for their ability to find quality product.

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      • #18
        Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

        Originally posted by NikeeGoddess View Post
        so true. i don't care how good or bad a flick is... if it got made then it must have something of value.
        Just because a TV show has fans does not automatically mean the script for a film based off that show will have any redeeming qualities in and of itself.

        That kind of backwards thinking is what is allowing all these remakes and sequels to be made in the first place, not because anyone had a good idea for a film.

        Every film should begin at the writing stage. Not the casting stage, not the directing stage, and sure as f*** not at the box office stage. At the WRITING STAGE, because if your intention is truly to make a quality film, story comes first.

        Nobody that lives outside of padded walls currently allows Manoj to direct because he has a good idea.

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        • #19
          Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

          I take that to mean that you believe his writing is subpar compared to peoples writing on this board and other paid professionals? I disagree. If I read those pages and it was from a complete unknown, I would find them weird and disjointed and I would also want to read further if that makes sense...? Most writers lack the ability to do that simple thing. It's not Shakespeare, obviously... But if you posted pages from The Godfather here people would probably piss on that too, seems kinda pissy round here anyway. I'm not familiar with the quality of pages written on this site as of yet. I'm sure there are some very good writers here. I'm a little curious as to why you think that, that page is written so horrible... is it the beats? Are you a fan of suspense?

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          • #20
            Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

            Originally posted by falcon18 View Post
            I take that to mean that you believe his writing is subpar compared to peoples writing on this board and other paid professionals?
            His writing would look sub-par on Zoetrope.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

              But wasn't THE HAPPENING that script that the "powers that be" over at Disney said was complete crap and wanted rewritten or they wouldn't make it, and when MNS refused they dumped him and the project...

              Only to have WB jump in and take it because they wanted to work with him? (Or was that LADY IN WATER or VILLAGE?)

              The problem is, MNS is a brand name... off two films. And everyone is buying the brand instead of looking at the scripts.

              I think the guy is a talented director, and hope LAST AIRBENDER works for him... but I also hope he comes away learning a lesson that his **** often stinks and maybe he should direct the work of others.

              And, I also think the film looks like some generic HARRY POTTER rip off - and we've had a hundred of them already. If kids know about this story, they need to focus the adverts on adults and give us a reason to go see it.

              - Bill
              Free Script Tips:
              http://www.scriptsecrets.net

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                That's the the thing, he is talented. I don't think he is commercial and I see that as his biggest problem. People really like him or really hate him, that's not because he sucks, or because he is a brand name. But I can't defend The Happening as if it was brilliant, was just making a point that when a studio buys his stuff they are buying something of quality... him as a writer/director with a distinct vision. He is not a talentless hack, hopefully he hasn't blown his wad because he was once an original voice...

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                  Originally posted by falcon18 View Post
                  I take that to mean that you believe his writing is subpar compared to peoples writing on this board and other paid professionals? I disagree. If I read those pages and it was from a complete unknown, I would find them weird and disjointed and I would also want to read further if that makes sense...? Most writers lack the ability to do that simple thing. It's not Shakespeare, obviously... But if you posted pages from The Godfather here people would probably piss on that too, seems kinda pissy round here anyway. I'm not familiar with the quality of pages written on this site as of yet. I'm sure there are some very good writers here. I'm a little curious as to why you think that, that page is written so horrible... is it the beats? Are you a fan of suspense?
                  I would cut an unknown a tiny bit more slack. But yes, THE HAPPENING script is subpar compared to total amateurs. Your average post on the Script Pages forum shows a lot more craft than the excerpt I posted. What's wrong with it?

                  - The whole scene is unnecessary. There have been multiple instances so far in the script/movie of people acting weird and committing suicide. This scene is less dramatic than what's come before it. It's a woman talking into a phone.

                  - Using a "wryly" or "beat" every second line is a textbook beginner mistake, usually made by writers who are struggling to get their page count up. When you start taking your craft seriously you're always struggling to get your page count down.

                  - In a similar vein, sections like this:

                  ...What I can't understand what
                  you're saying?
                  (listens)
                  What?
                  (listens)
                  ...I can't understand what you're
                  saying.
                  (listens)
                  ...What baby?
                  (to group)
                  She's not making any sense.
                  (listens)
                  ...Baby I can't understand what
                  you're saying.
                  (beat)
                  ...Stacy?
                  (beat)
                  ...Stacy?
                  (to group)
                  Could be used in a dictionary definition of "redundant"

                  - Human beings don't say things like:

                  ...It's okay there's a tree outside your
                  window baby. It's not going to do
                  nothing.
                  Only people in terrible movies about killer trees and plants say things like that. Remember, at this point in the movie we're not supposed to know that the trees are the villains.

                  I do not feel that this scene is suspenseful in the slightest. I do not feel that we would sh!t on pages from THE GODFATHER if they were posted here. I do not feel that "it's not supposed to be Shakespeare" is ever a tenable position to take with a film or a piece of writing.

                  And I'm generally a pleasant, easy going person. But get me started on the topic of this summer or M. Night and I will turn ugly in a hurry.

                  Welcome to the boards though, we have a nice community here, I swear.

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                  • #24
                    Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                    Killer trees, that's funny...

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                    • #25
                      Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                      Originally posted by falcon18 View Post
                      That's the the thing, he is talented. I don't think he is commercial and I see that as his biggest problem. People really like him or really hate him, that's not because he sucks, or because he is a brand name. But I can't defend The Happening as if it was brilliant, was just making a point that when a studio buys his stuff they are buying something of quality... him as a writer/director with a distinct vision. He is not a talentless hack, hopefully he hasn't blown his wad because he was once an original voice...
                      Nobody is (or should be) calling him talentless. It's just that his films (save for one, possibly two) all appear to have been written by a person with a mental disorder. I actually like him quite a bit as a director, but someone had to take away his copy of Final Draft immediately.

                      The Village, Lady In The Water, The Happening...they are bad. Very bad. Embarrassingly bad. They make Signs look good.

                      I don't know what the problem is...The Sixth Sense is amazing. Truly a great script. What happened?

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                      • #26
                        Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                        Yeah, even I don't think he's talentless. As I said, his THE SIXTH SENSE script is a tight, polished piece of writing. It looks like it went through multiple drafts. It looks like someone took care to make sure every word in it was there for a reason. I was with him up to UNBREAKABLE, which was an interesting take on the superhero concept despite its muted tone. But then SIGNS came along and told us a tale of the worst alien invasion in history, where the master plan was to skitter around on barn rooftops, lurch into Mexican birthday parties, and spray puffs of gas at asthmatic children before finally succumbing to the horrors of water, the most abundant substance on our planet. I think M. Night just started drinking his own Koolaid at some point and forgot that writing takes more than putting the first words that come to mind to paper and declaring yourself the next Spielberg.

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                        • #27
                          Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                          Originally posted by Gwai Lo View Post
                          But then SIGNS came along and told us a tale of the worst alien invasion in history, where the master plan was to skitter around on barn rooftops, lurch into Mexican birthday parties, and spray puffs of gas at asthmatic children before finally succumbing to the horrors of water, the most abundant substance on our planet. I think M. Night just started drinking his own Koolaid at some point and forgot that writing takes more than putting the first words that come to mind to paper and declaring yourself the next Spielberg.
                          The alien part of Signs is so ridiculous, you almost can't make fun of it because it's already making fun of itself. However, I do like the human part of it.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                            Originally posted by Biohazard View Post
                            The alien part of Signs is so ridiculous, you almost can't make fun of it because it's already making fun of itself. However, I do like the human part of it.
                            Same here.

                            Unbreakable works better on the screen than it does on the page. On the page, ALL of its flaws are obvious. On the screen, it's a memorable character study, thanks mostly to the actors and Shyamalan's moody direction. (Comparing the two movies, I actually like Unbreakable better than The Sixth Sense. Comparing the two screenplays, The Sixth Sense is, for me, hands down the winner. Weird, huh?)

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                            • #29
                              Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                              Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards were great in "Signs".
                              TRIAL FORUMS


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                              • #30
                                Re: That movie with the kid and the four elements

                                Originally posted by wcmartell View Post
                                I think the guy is a talented director, and hope LAST AIRBENDER works for him... but I also hope he comes away learning a lesson that his **** often stinks and maybe he should direct the work of others.

                                - Bill
                                this is what i think. he got his best script (the 6th sense) made first and then went back at all the earlier crap he wrote... each one worse than the last... riding on the success of the first one.

                                however, my favorite is unbreakable b/c it gave me a better understanding of comic book heros which i knew nothing about.

                                and those pages you posted - so what! taken out of context like that might prove your point but i've seen tarantino scripts that look just as bad. he never uses spellcheck. we should never use script samples from writers who direct their own b/c they don't have to sell it as a spec and prove their worthy.

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