2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

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  • 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

    Hi guys.

    After getting some very helpful advice from many users here, I'm doing a quick restructuring of a certain scene and since I couldn't find a similar example of how to do it in any of the pro scripts I've looked into, I need your help. I have a few ideas on how to do it, but I want to pick the one that flows the best.

    As the title says, I have a scene which involves two conversations at two locations at the same time. Now, first thing I thought was - intercut. But, after analyzing the scene, I don't think it would be the way to go (maybe). I already have a different intercut scene in the script, but that one is an intercut phone conversation between two people at two different locations which is classic intercut since they are talking to one another, that's completely fine.

    But this other particular scene involves 2 conversations that are happening at 2 different locations, both between 2 people = 4 people in total. How I was thinking of doing it with an intercut is this: (it's just an example scene of how I want to do it)

    INT. KITCHEN - DAY

    Tony and Mike are sitting at the kitchen table, eating their lunch. Mike notices Tony is depressed.

    Mike
    Are you ok?

    Tony
    No. I actually wanted to talk to you about something, but promise me you won't tell anyone.

    Mike
    I promise.

    Tony
    Ok, here goes…

    INT. CLOTHING SHOP - DAY

    Janet and Barbara look around the clothing shop. Janet is excited, but Barbara kinda just follows her, uninterested. Janet notices.

    Janet
    You seem down. What happened?

    Barbara
    Do you really want to know?

    Janet
    I'm your best friend, of course I do.

    Barbara
    Fine...

    And now, I want to switch in between those two scenes, follow one conversation a bit, then switch to the other one, than back to the first one and so on because they are all talking about the same subject, so I don't want to follow one conversation and then after that switch to the other two characters and have the same conversation, but with some small alterations as they happen to be talking about the same thing at the same time. Do I just write ''Intercut between kitchen and clothing shop'' after Barbara's ''Fine'' and then just rack up dialogues on top of one another? I don't think that's a good idea as, even though it's established who is talking to who, I don't want it to seem like everyone is talking to each other when they're clearly not.

    I have an option of writing scene headings again and again to break between the two scenes, but that seems dumb to do after literally every 2-3 sentences that the characters exchange. But if I had to choose, I guess this one would be the way to go - have like Tony and Mike bit, then when I want to switch to Janet and Barbara just write ''CLOTHING SHOP - SAME TIME'' and continue their conversation, then when I want to go back to Tony's and Mike's convo, I just write ''KITCHEN - SAME TIME'' and continue their bit and so on after every few sentences.

    If anyone has any other ideas, please do tell.
    ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

  • #2
    Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

    Your approach sounds a bit gimmicky, like some way to make two talking-heads scenes more "exciting" or intense. How does it really help the story? Are you concerned that two long such scenes (on virtually the same topic, as you say) will be boring, so the pacing will be improved by this? Is mixing them up as an intercut going to improve things and make them clearer? If so, surely there's no actual repetition in the statements. That's a killer, especially if the comments are in close proximity within the script.

    And isn't this technique really something the director/editor might consider, only after everything's been shot?

    Well, if there's some genuine artistic value in what you propose, maybe try the dual-dialogue thingee - that's side-by-side dialogues. Some programs have menu-selected formatting for this. Or, if you do them by-hand, it's just a two column table with invisible borders, and the dialogue placed inside. Maybe there are some interesting parallels between what some of them say, virtually one after the other.

    The dual dialogue layout doesn't mean they're overlapping - far from it - only that the dialogues are meant to be juxtaposed in close quarters for some purpose, often to expedite (abbreviate) the scenes. (The only time I ever used this was for a brief recounting of a "please repeat after me" wedding scene. It kept the relatively stock scene as short as possible.)

    Personally, I'd just use the regular, separate, consecutive scene heading approach. The quality and content of the dialogue ought to be enough to carry the scenes through, or suggest to the director and his/her fine editing crew that there's some reason to show it "artistically" or to enhance the audience's understanding, somehow.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

      I wasn't clear enough.

      I don't want to overlap or anything similar, I want to make it like a staircase, meaning that I want to make it so the two conversations (which are about the same thing) come together as one. Imagine 4 people at a restaurant reading the same menu at two different tables. So I want to make it like - Person A - 1st thing on the menu, Person B - 2nd thing on the menu, then Person C - 3rd thing on the menu, Person D - 4th thing on the menu. Since both conversations are about the same thing (and I need to show that all four characters who are involved talked about the issue), I want to make it like a staircase. The whole scene will make sense as 4 characters are essentially telling the same story at the same time and filling each other's sentences sort of speak.

      Does that make it clearer? The scene is very important and I have it in my head how it would look, but I can't transcribe it onto the paper. Dual dialogues isn't what I'm looking for as they are used when two characters are saying the same thing or different things at the same time on screen, like yelling at each other etc. I don't want that. I just want to staircase the same conversation from two different points of view so they add onto each other.
      ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

        You can go back and forth by labeling one scene

        IN THE KITCHEN and tell what's going on there.

        then

        IN THE CLOTHING SHOP and tell what's going on there.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

          I assume there's something HAPPENING while all this talk is going on.

          I've often adapted Montages or Series of Shots for this purpose, and inserted dialogues within. It's sort of bending the rules of an intercut, within a SOS or Montage format. You just have to indicate the WHERE up front, then you abbreviate it at each indent to keep the audience/reader on board.

          (Someone's bound to sign on in the next few hours to have something more traditional for you. The goal is simply to make it CLEAR what's happening.)

          MONTAGE - THE GANGSTERS EXECUTE THE ROBBERY (or whatever is going on)

          Bob and June, at the security gate, and Steve and Betty, at the electrical station, do their thing:

          A) Bob takes out the Guard, as June spray paints the security cam.

          BOB
          Such and such dialogue.
          JUNE
          More such and such dialogue.

          B) Steve cuts alarm wires as Betty pulls the security tape drive.

          STEVE
          Such and such dialogue.
          BETTY
          More such and such dialogue.

          C) Back to the security gate, etc.

          More dialogue.

          D) Back to the electrical station, etc.

          More dialogue.

          etc. etc.

          This of course would work in a spec script; this sequence will all be rewritten for the shooting script in traditional slugline/scene heading format
          Last edited by catcon; 08-10-2018, 07:55 AM. Reason: just added stuff about the spec vs. shooting script

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          • #6
            Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

            @Joaneasley and @catcon - Ok, that confirms my choice of going with option no. 2 as well. Thank you very much, you've cleared my dilemma
            ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

              Try one of these two articles:

              http://screenreads.com/formatting/di..._multiple.html

              or

              http://screenreads.com/formatting/sp...it-screen.html

              Maybe one of those will do.
              http://www.screenreads.com/formatting - The free screenplay formatting guide.

              My book on formatting, Your CUT TO: Is Showing!, is now available on Amazon.com.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

                I would use subheadings to intercut those two scenes, like this:


                INT. KITCHEN - DAY

                Tony and Mike are sitting at the table, eating lunch. Mike notices Tony seems depressed.

                MIKE
                Are you okay?

                INT. CLOTHES SHOP - SAME TIME

                Janet and Barbara look around the shop. Janet is excited, but Barbara just follows her, uninterested. Janet notices.

                JANET
                You seem down. What's happened?

                INTERCUT KITCHEN

                TONY
                Well, I wanted to talk to you about something. But promise you won't tell anyone.

                MIKE
                I promise.

                TONY
                Okay, here goes...

                INTERCUT CLOTHES SHOP

                BARBARA
                Do you really want to know?

                JANET
                I'm your best friend, of course I do.

                BARBARA
                Fine...

                INTERCUT KITCHEN

                TONY
                My dick fell off.

                INTERCUT CLOTHES SHOP

                BARBARA
                Tony's dick fell off.



                In this case, I not sure if there should be two blank lines before the scene heading INT. CLOTHES SHOP - SAME TIME, or before each of the INTERCUT subheadings.
                Last edited by Crayon; 08-11-2018, 09:24 AM. Reason: blank line uncertainty
                Know this: I'm a lazy amateur, so trust not a word what I write.
                "The ugly can be beautiful. The pretty, never." ~ Oscar Wilde

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

                  @tjalex01 - I checked them out, but it wasn't what I was looking for. Thanks anyway.

                  @Crayon, you made it almost exactly like I did. I did it using the same scheme as you, except I put ''same time'' in every subheading just to be sure and I didn't use ''INTERCUT - KITCHEN'' and ''INTERCUT - CLOTHING SHOP'', but ''IN THE KITCHEN - SAME TIME'' and ''IN THE CLOTHING SHOP - SAME TIME''.
                  ''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.''

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: 2 conversations at 2 locations at the same time

                    There's a scene in Annie Hall when Annie and Alvie are each talking to their respective shrinks about their relationship and a split screen is used. The dialogue focuses on the contrast between their personal povs. It should be online somewhere.
                    Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

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