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Old 08-22-2019, 02:57 AM   #1
GucciGhostXXX
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Default Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

Lemme be real as fukk for a sec about this biz... fukk it, why not?

I've done so much sh!t in different mediums where I got CLOSE, but nope, never broke wide. Not because I'm desperate to be famous and trying anything and everything, NAH!, I don't give a fukk about fame, I'm an artist to the core. I've never had a real job... EVER.

I've done...

MODELING: Booked sh!t. LA Fashion Week. National commercial. Nike international show. etc. Modeled internationally, but never broke wide.

BANDS: Last band the guitarist left to go on tour with FEAR. Then The Breeders. Bassist left to tour with Mr. Big (if you're a little kid you've never heard of these bands)

SOLO MUCISIAN: Michael Jackson's manager was interested in me for a half a second.

MUSIC PRODUCER/ENGINEER: Did my rounds at many of the go to studios. NRG. Chello. Record Plant. Westlake. Ocean Way.

FILM COMPOSER: Did ghosting for for certain composers. Finally got an multi-million dollar indie gig. Got fired.

BECAME A SCREENWRITER: Signed with big agency. Sold. Developed with fancy people. Etc. Far as I've made it in screenwriting.

ART: Designed my own sh!t. Half the art in my home is my design. I've been asked to design sh!t for others. Offered a job by an interior designer. Turned it down to write.

MANAGER: Sold a hit film.

But...

Nothing's really clicked in a BIG WAY. Idk, maybe I'm just not talented "ENOUGH." Not false modesty, dead serious. Possible. Yet, the fukkin weird thing is I'm positive I fukk up some writers above me. No offense to them, not saying they ain't good, just, that they ain't fukkin better than me.

ORRRRR... I kinda wonder if I have a fukk ton of experience in a lot of things that are all traits a director must possess, and maybe I should just figure out how to direct this FUKKIN SH!T MYSELF and stop waiting around for these idiots to say "Yes."

Feel me?

POINT: I just wonder if a lot of us are making the same dumb mistakes I've made of getting close, but never a firm "YES!".


(Hope I don't have to delete this post too...)
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:07 AM   #2
Hernan Giaggio
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

I feel you

Last edited by Hernan Giaggio : 08-22-2019 at 12:51 PM.
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Old 08-22-2019, 10:08 AM   #3
catcon
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

There are a lot of these navel-gazing exercises going on here on DDPro these days, which are of no interest to me whatsoever.

But it is easy to get sucked in, so let me bring out the old sports metaphor. I'll use hockey, but it can be anything:

Quote:
The fastest player on the ice is the one who just made a mistake
This might also apply to the person who has wasted a lot of time in their life, or made a lot of poor choices, or even has had a lot of bad luck (but don't let that be your excuse, ie. that it was everybody else's fault).

That is, this person could very well be the one with the greatest personal incentive to get over their problem(s) and reach their goal(s). Meanwhile, others watching might wonder what in the 'ell their motivation is, and what keeps them going. (Secretly? Yeah, a little fear or desperation can do wonders!)

It can be hard, but you have to parlay the sense of helplessness, or sense of unfairness of it all, or general lack of hope, to focus on what you need to do -- and to stick with it! Your competition is counting on your conceding defeat!

In my view, persistence is a proactive element of optimism. It takes a goal out of the realm of dream (passive) and moves it to the possible.

And we may think foolishly that we have unlimited time to accomplish this. As a matter of fact, most of us do have decades or at least many years ahead of us, barring unforeseen wars, accidents or illness. But we want to spend as little of it as possible on the outside and as much as possible on the inside, right?

Hey, our loved ones already love us, no matter what stinkers or failures we are, or that we think we are. (It's why I've never shown my scripts to my 'loved ones')

But strangers (the public at large) will judge us by what we are or have done by the end, not so much for we did for the decades leading up to that point. This sounds cruel, but maybe it's what we need to think about to focus on our goal versus all that we've have to do to try to reach it. I'm sure that none of us here are looking to have stupid statues put up, or schools named after us, but instead will feel totally complete in our graves if there're one or more little films in circulation for future generations to see.

So, hopefully, let's take all the tough lessons from our past and "bring it home" as they say, or "get it across the goal line", or "clear the fence", or whatever metaphor you want to employ.
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Old 08-22-2019, 10:55 PM   #4
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

Quote:
Originally Posted by catcon View Post
There are a lot of these navel-gazing exercises going on here on DDPro these days, which are of no interest to me whatsoever.
Swear, man... I pulled outta your post exactly right there. That line told me "anything beyond this is BULLSH!T." Swear to fukkin Gosh, I didn't read the remainder of your post. Unnecessary after that line.

What the hell is ***SCREENWRITING*** if it's not an exercise in navel-gazing? Perhaps everyone on this board GETS your POV on this, but I definitely do not. I'ma go so far as to say your POV against navel-gazing is absolutely fukking COUNTER to what screenwriting (and more specifically:STORY) IS.

Meaning: HUH??? WHAT???

You realize Charlie Kaufman's navel-gaze (ADAPTATION) is considered one of the best scripts EVER WRITTEN, yeah? It's number 77 on the WGA's list of 101 ALL TIME BEST SCREENPLAYS. It was up for Oscars/Globes etc. You ever been up for those accolades among your peers of world class folks? You ever sold anything to a studio? Honestly... have you? Ever been repped by someone legit? If not, why talk sh!t on me?

Fukk you think this (writing sh!t) is about? It is precisely the practice of navel-gazing in the most brutally honest of ways. You seem to think it's about... I have no fukkin clue?

Sorry, but this is THE oddest statement I've ever read about story telling in my entire life.
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:52 PM   #5
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hernan Giaggio View Post
I have a similar origin (definitely no modeling, though).

Started out in bands. Toured. Opened for some biggish bands. Couldn't keep it together.

Moved onto comics. Published some. Ran an indie studio. But never really broke through.

Did some fine art and other stuff.

And now screenwriting.

But I've finally learned my lesson this time. Looking at the bands that opened for us that would go on to be pretty huge (before flaming out), and other comic writers I started with who are now doing Spider-Man, the lesson is clear.

DON'T. GO. HOME.

When **** gets hard, and it feels so close and yet so far, when you're beaten down by rejections, and pushed calls, and low scores (or whatever), it can seem really tasty to quit. Get a divorce. Find someone else, younger.

But for me I know that this time I cannot quit no matter what.
Probably true!

And glad to see that someone else gets what I'm talking about.

Most of the writers I know do other sh!t as well. And are GOOD at pretty much everything they do.
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:48 AM   #6
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

Well, it's one thing to have multiple interests, but being a "jack of all trades but master of none" is a tough thing. Kinda feels like you've done everything possible to chase success in entertainment in any way you can by throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall hoping something, anything sticks. As opposed to chasing a focused passion. Maybe the solution is taking some 'me time' and doing a deep dive to figure out where your real calling lies (i.e. what gets you the most excited, what you're best at, etc) and focusing entirely on that, and honing your skills within it... diving in fully and living 100% in that zone until you reach the level you aspire to be at.

Last edited by Lahlowen : 08-22-2019 at 11:57 AM.
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:00 PM   #7
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

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Originally Posted by Lahlowen View Post
Well, it's one thing to have multiple interests, but being a "jack of all trades but master of none" is a tough thing. Kinda feels like you've done everything possible to chase success in entertainment in any way you can by throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall hoping something, anything sticks. As opposed to chasing a focused passion. Maybe the solution is taking some 'me time' and doing a deep dive to figure out where your real calling lies (i.e. what gets you the most excited, what you're best at, etc) and focusing entirely on that, and honing your skills within it... diving in fully and living 100% in that zone until you reach the level you aspire to be at.
Jeez...NO!... I just said that is NOT the case. This story spans 20 years not all at the same time. I pass Malcom Gladwell's litmus test of 10,000 hours for each.

Sometimes along the way you realize something isn't working so you shift gears.

I fell into screenwriting. I didn't grow up wanting to be a screenwriter and that's okay.

LET ME BE CLEAR: I DIDN'T DO ALL THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Again, 20 years.
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:18 PM   #8
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GucciGhostXXX View Post
Jeez...NO!... I just said that is NOT the case. This story spans 20 years not all at the same time. I pass Malcom Gladwell's litmus test of 10,000 hours for each.

Sometimes along the way you realize something isn't working so you shift gears.

I fell into screenwriting. I didn't grow up wanting to be a screenwriter and that's okay.

LET ME BE CLEAR: I DIDN'T DO ALL THESE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Again, 20 years.
I saw what you wrote, but even still I was still just thinking that's a lot of different avenues to pursue... even for 20 years. If you break it down it seems like every couple years you'd pivot to an entirely different career or focus, which there's nothing wrong with unless you never figure out your role in business, life, etc. If you have by now, that's great. All good though either way, keep doing you. Hope things work out for ya!
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:48 PM   #9
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lahlowen View Post
I saw what you wrote, but even still I was still just thinking that's a lot of different avenues to pursue... even for 20 years. If you break it down it seems like every couple years you'd pivot to an entirely different career or focus, which there's nothing wrong with unless you never figure out your role in business, life, etc. If you have by now, that's great. All good though either way, keep doing you. Hope things work out for ya!
No worries.

Some of it overlapped, for example: modeling/bands was simultaneous.

It would be more true to say I pivoted about every 7 years. The art I created while being repped as a writer.

But, I suppose I can understand why when presented the way I presented it APPEARS like I was constantly career hopping. Nope. Just one thing led to another. Like falling into screenwriting. I was at ICM for a film composer meeting. Epiphany DURING that meeting. 16 days later I had a script. That script got me signed by their competitor. Sh!t like that. If you would have told me before that meeting "You're gonna walk outta of your meeting wanting to write a script... and that script will get you signed at CAA." I would have told you you're FRIGGIN INSANE!

But, that's how some of my transitions have been. Life throws curve balls you never saw coming. And couldn't have prepared for. Although, I was unknowingly preparing for it by spending 10 years reading my ex's clients scripts (those kind of realizations after the fact).
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:19 PM   #10
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Default Re: Maybe I'm Just Not Talented Enough...

I think most creatives face some sort of self doubt at some point in their life. I know I do. Ok, maybe, not Dan Fogelman....he was hot stuff from the second he picked up the pen, but I'm speaking for the rest of us mortal people. I kind of beat myself all the time. I will reach a rung that I had put down as a goal that 6 months ago I said I would be happy with, but then when I get there, I obsess about not reaching that higher rung that was within reach. That 10 feet seems like a mile because I see those people that reached that rung getting the dreams that I wanted for myself.



Creatives are a special breed because they have to put themselves out there ("this is me") and face endless doors being slammed in their face or being told they're not good enough. But, they are also the people who can turn nothing into something. I think it's too late now. If you're a frequent member on this board, you've already gone too far....there's really no turning back.
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