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Old 06-26-2019, 04:33 PM   #11
Julysses
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

I'm just having fun on here...

action lines should be easy to understand and contrive to the usual format

dialog and characterization is going to be where you can have a 'voice'

True, but you're more talking about scene building and conception of story

do you wanna break down the nuts and bolts of ...how you build tension in scene play? or sexual attraction? or fear?

(you should start with act 1 and the set up)
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:54 PM   #12
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julysses View Post
I'm just having fun on here...

action lines should be easy to understand and contrive to the usual format

dialog and characterization is going to be where you can have a 'voice'

True, but you're more talking about scene building and conception of story

do you wanna break down the nuts and bolts of ...how you build tension in scene play? or sexual attraction? or fear?

(you should start with act 1 and the set up)
I don't know what you mean by having fun.

And you can keep on saying the above and, sorry about this -- you can just plain keep being dead wrong.

A screenwriter has a voice in every word of the screenplay.

Yes, every word. Even slug lines -- because every word you write is a choice you make that informs the tone of your work.

I've written slug lines like these:

EXT. A REALM OF FIRE AND DARKNESS

EXT. NOWHERE - NIGHT

EXT. THE DEPTHS OF SPACE - LATE AFTERNOON

You read these slug lines and, before you read a single word of the action or a single word of dialogue and you've already been given a sense of the tone of what's going to follow.

I don't know what you mean by "contrive to the usual format."

Really, it just has nothing to do with how real screenwriters right real screenplays.

Formatting has to do with margins and what gets capitalized and scene headings and things like that.

There are more general rules that relate to readability and clarity but the broadest and most central "rule" is to engage the reader and write scenes that are memorable -- and that doesn't just mean writing dialogue that is memorable.

If you don't want to believe this -- that's up to you.

NMS
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Old 06-27-2019, 04:35 PM   #13
finalact4
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

Quote:
Originally Posted by nmstevens View Post
I don't know what you mean by having fun.

And you can keep on saying the above and, sorry about this -- you can just plain keep being dead wrong.

A screenwriter has a voice in every word of the screenplay.

Yes, every word. Even slug lines -- because every word you write is a choice you make that informs the tone of your work.

I've written slug lines like these:

EXT. A REALM OF FIRE AND DARKNESS

EXT. NOWHERE - NIGHT

EXT. THE DEPTHS OF SPACE - LATE AFTERNOON

You read these slug lines and, before you read a single word of the action or a single word of dialogue and you've already been given a sense of the tone of what's going to follow.

I don't know what you mean by "contrive to the usual format."

Really, it just has nothing to do with how real screenwriters right real screenplays.

Formatting has to do with margins and what gets capitalized and scene headings and things like that.

There are more general rules that relate to readability and clarity but the broadest and most central "rule" is to engage the reader and write scenes that are memorable -- and that doesn't just mean writing dialogue that is memorable.

If you don't want to believe this -- that's up to you.

NMS
100% agree
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Old 06-27-2019, 09:31 PM   #14
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julysses View Post
I'm just having fun on here...

action lines should be easy to understand and contrive to the usual format

dialog and characterization is going to be where you can have a 'voice'

True, but you're more talking about scene building and conception of story

do you wanna break down the nuts and bolts of ...how you build tension in scene play? or sexual attraction? or fear?

(you should start with act 1 and the set up)
Here's some more Poe -- no dialog. Do you notice any shifts of tone? Why do you suppose he does that?

Quote:
The Bells
Edgar Allan Poe - 1809-1849

I.

Hear the sledges with the bells—
Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.

II.

Hear the mellow wedding bells,
Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten-golden notes,
And all in tune,
What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gloats
On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells!
How it dwells
On the Future! how it tells
Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!

III.

Hear the loud alarum bells—
Brazen bells!
What tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells!
In the startled ear of night
How they scream out their affright!
Too much horrified to speak,
They can only shriek, shriek,
Out of tune,
In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire,
Leaping higher, higher, higher,
With a desperate desire,
And a resolute endeavor
Now—now to sit or never,
By the side of the pale-faced moon.
Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
What a tale their terror tells
Of Despair!
How they clang, and clash, and roar!
What a horror they outpour
On the bosom of the palpitating air!
Yet the ear it fully knows,
By the twanging,
And the clanging,
How the danger ebbs and flows;
Yet the ear distinctly tells,
In the jangling,
And the wrangling.
How the danger sinks and swells,
By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells—
Of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells—
In the clamor and the clangor of the bells!

IV.

Hear the tolling of the bells—
Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people—ah, the people—
They that dwell up in the steeple,
All alone,
And who tolling, tolling, tolling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone—
They are neither man nor woman—
They are neither brute nor human—
They are Ghouls:
And their king it is who tolls;
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls
A pćan from the bells!
And his merry bosom swells
With the pćan of the bells!
And he dances, and he yells;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the pćan of the bells—
Of the bells:
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the throbbing of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the sobbing of the bells;
Keeping time, time, time,
As he knells, knells, knells,
In a happy Runic rhyme,
To the rolling of the bells—
Of the bells, bells, bells—
To the tolling of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells—
Bells, bells, bells—
To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.
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Old 06-27-2019, 10:23 PM   #15
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

Of course Poe didn't just write morbid stuff. He wrote funny stuff too.

Quote:
The Businessman

...I turned my attention, therefore, to Mud-Dabbling, and continued it for some years.

The worst of this occupation is, that too many people take a fancy to it, and the competition is in consequence excessive. Every ignoramus of a fellow who finds that he hasn’t brains in sufficient quantity to make his way as a walking advertiser, or an eye-sore prig, or a salt-and-batter man, thinks, of course, that he’ll answer very well as a dabbler of mud. But there never was entertained a more erroneous idea than that it requires no brains to mud-dabble. Especially, there is nothing to be made in this way without method. I did only a retail business myself, but my old habits of system carried me swimmingly along. I selected my street-crossing, in the first place, with great deliberation, and I never put down a broom in any part of the town but that. I took care, too, to have a nice little puddle at hand, which I could get at in a minute. By these means I got to be well known as a man to be trusted; and this is one-half the battle, let me tell you, in trade. Nobody ever failed to pitch me a copper, and got over my crossing with a clean pair of pantaloons. And, as my business habits, in this respect, were sufficiently understood, I never met with any attempt at imposition. I wouldn’t have put up with it, if I had. Never imposing upon any one myself, I suffered no one to play the possum with me. The frauds of the banks of course I couldn’t help. Their suspension put me to ruinous inconvenience. These, however, are not individuals, but corporations; and corporations, it is very well known, have neither bodies to be kicked nor souls to be damned.

I was making money at this business when, in an evil moment, I was induced to merge it in the Cur-Spattering — a somewhat analogous, but, by no means, so respectable a profession. My location, to be sure, was an excellent one, being central, and I had capital blacking and brushes. My little dog, too, was quite fat and up to all varieties of snuff. He had been in the trade a long time, and, I may say, understood it. Our general routine was this:— Pompey, having rolled himself well in the mud, sat upon end at the shop door, until he observed a dandy approaching in bright boots. He then proceeded to meet him, and gave the Wellingtons a rub or two with his wool. Then the dandy swore very much, and looked about for a boot-black. There I was, full in his view, with blacking and brushes. It was only a minute’s work, and then came a sixpence. This did moderately well for a time; — in fact, I was not avaricious, but my dog was. I allowed him a third of the profit, but he was advised to insist upon half. This I couldn’t stand — so we quarrelled and parted.

I next tried my hand at the Organ-Grinding for a while, and may say that I made out pretty well. It is a plain, straightforward business, and requires no particular abilities. You can get a music-mill for a mere song, and to put it in order, you have but to open the works, and give them three or four smart raps with a hammer. It improves the tone of the thing, for business purposes, more than you can imagine. This done, you have only to stroll along, with the mill on your back, until you see tanbark in the street, and a knocker wrapped up in buckskin. Then you stop and grind; looking as if you meant to stop and grind till doomsday. Presently a window opens, and somebody pitches you a sixpence, with a request to “Hush up and go on,” etc. I am aware that some grinders have actually afforded to “go on” for this sum; but for my part, I found the necessary outlay of capital too great to permit of my “going on” under a shilling.

At this occupation I did a good deal; but, somehow, I was not quite satisfied, and so finally abandoned it. The truth is, I labored under the disadvantage of having no monkey — and American streets are so muddy, and a Democratic rabble is so obstrusive, and so full of demnition mischievous little boys.

I was now out of employment for some months, but at length succeeded, by dint of great interest, in procuring a situation in the Sham-Post. The duties, here, are simple, and not altogether unprofitable. For example:— very early in the morning I had to make up my packet of sham letters. Upon the inside of each of these I had to scrawl a few lines on any subject which occurred to me as sufficiently mysterious — signing all the epistles Tom Dobson, or Bobby Tompkins, or anything in that way. Having folded and sealed all, and stamped them with sham postmarks — New Orleans, Bengal, Botany Bay, or any other place a great way off — I set out, forthwith, upon my daily route, as if in a very great hurry. I always called at the big houses to deliver the letters, and receive the postage. Nobody hesitates at paying for a letter — especially for a double one — people are such fools — and it was no trouble to get round a corner before there was time to open the epistles. The worst of this profession was, that I had to walk so much and so fast; and so frequently to vary my route. Besides, I had serious scruples of conscience. I can’t bear to hear innocent individuals abused — and the way the whole town took to cursing Tom Dobson and Bobby Tompkins was really awful to hear. I washed my hands of the matter in disgust.
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Old 06-29-2019, 11:02 PM   #16
Julysses
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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Originally Posted by nmstevens View Post
you can just plain keep being dead wrong.
this is not even english,

I'm saying you seem like a you are acting crazy and I don't get in arguments, just have fun and respect others on here


Quote:
Originally Posted by nmstevens View Post
A screenwriter has a voice in every word of the screenplay.
that's incredibly poetic, you've enlightened me


Quote:
Originally Posted by nmstevens View Post
I don't know what you mean by "contrive to the usual format."

Really, it just has nothing to do with how real screenwriters right real screenplays.
wow... just ****ing wow!

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Originally Posted by nmstevens View Post
Formatting has to do with margins and what gets capitalized and scene headings and things like that.
It's a lot more complicated and there are nuances within the format
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Old 06-29-2019, 11:23 PM   #17
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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Here's some more Poe -- no dialog. Do you notice any shifts of tone? Why do you suppose he does that?
EAE wrote a novel, not a screenplay nor a play

you copy and pasted a bunch of **** and didn't even think about what's actually being discussed, either you can't comprehend simple ideas or just have no basis to reference this knowledge

you read the book and then you use critical thinking to evolve why it works or understand deeper themes, then we discuss. You just asked a question and copy and pasted the whole webpage? WTF?

there are writer's like akiva goldsman, that just take a novel and interpret it into a screenplay, if what you are saying is true, why wouldn't a producer save millions of dollars and just shoot the novel?


Quote:
Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
Of course Poe didn't just write morbid stuff. He wrote funny stuff too.
okay. Was someone debating that he only wrote horror stories?

I honestly think you found another webpage with a short story, didn't even read it and posted it on here
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Old 06-30-2019, 12:48 AM   #18
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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Originally Posted by Julysses View Post
EAE wrote a novel, not a screenplay nor a play

Actually, the first example was something people call "poems". Look it up in the dictionary. Also you might want to take another gander at the title of this thread. See the word "tone"? Now go off and see if you can puzzle it out, young pup. Fiction is fiction. Good writing is good writing.

you copy and pasted a bunch of **** and didn't even think about what's actually being discussed, either you can't comprehend simple ideas or just have no basis to reference this knowledge

Once again. See the word "tone"? (Included in the title of this thread.) When and if you ever understand what it means in writing -- try reading that "bunch of ****" again and see what you can tell me about the shifting tones, and the changing words used to convey those shifting tones.

you read the book and then you use critical thinking to evolve why it works or understand deeper themes, then we discuss. You just asked a question and copy and pasted the whole webpage? WTF?

You want me to tell about the "deeper themes" of that "bunch of ****"? Maybe I'll worry about doing that when you can tell the difference between a poem and a novel. (By the way -- have you ever heard of Edgar Allan Poe? Just wondering.)

there are writer's like akiva goldsman, that just take a novel and interpret it into a screenplay, if what you are saying is true, why wouldn't a producer save millions of dollars and just shoot the novel?

I'll bet Akiva Goldsman has heard of Edgar Allan Poe and has probably even read that "bunch of ****" "The Bells". I have no clue what you're claiming I said. I do understand the differences between a poem and novel and a screenplay. You got two out of three so maybe that ain't bad, but it ain't good either.

You were the one who claimed "action lines should be easy to understand and contrive to the usual format" -- whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. Which gets us back to the point you obviously missed. Action lines clearly need to be entertaining -- whether they are in a screenplay that's an adaption from a novel, or if it's original. (Or even if it's adapted from a poem.)

Boring action lines = boring (unread) screenplay. Pretty simple really.


okay. Was someone debating that he only wrote horror stories?

No. Did there have to be a "debate" to post something that showed Poe ALSO wrote comedy? Chill, dude, everything isn't YOU world.

I honestly think you found another webpage with a short story, didn't even read it and posted it on here

I've worn out my Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe. Want a vocabulary -- read Poe. Want to learn how to use words to create tone -- read Poe. Want to know who invented the murder mystery -- read Poe.

Hell, I even read "The Businessman" as a bedtime story to my kids.

Anything else you want to tell me about me?
End.
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Last edited by StoryWriter : 06-30-2019 at 01:09 AM.
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Old 06-30-2019, 02:24 PM   #19
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
End.
you seem upset. I did not write most of what you quoted me as saying...


Quote:
Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
Actually, the first example was something people call "poems". Look it up in the dictionary.
umm, idk... is that any different? ...not sure how this changes the need to adapt the novel, poem or other literary device to a screenplay format. And in doing so you would use traditional action lines and description for said screenplay

Quote:
Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
I'll bet Akiva Goldsman has heard of Edgar Allan Poe
Goldsman has screenplays he has written, you can read the scripts. Why does that it matter if he's heard of EAP or anything like that... do you think he learned how to write screenplays from reading EAP?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
Action lines clearly need to be entertaining -- whether they are in a screenplay that's an adaption from a novel, or if it's original. (Or even if it's adapted from a poem.)

Boring action lines = boring (unread) screenplay. Pretty simple really.
why do you believe that to be true, what screenplay or screenwriter is giving you this idea?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StoryWriter View Post
No. Did there have to be a "debate" to post something that showed Poe ALSO wrote comedy? Chill, dude, everything isn't YOU world.
who were you talking to then?

what does it have to do with anything we are discussing, if you read to your kids or anything at all? You're not making a point or even have a quick annotate, you just randomly say things without any point or reason to them


I was going to discuss what elements screenwriters use to raise tension in a screenplay, then it became all about you and how you read EAP stories (and poems!!!! )

there's overwhelming amount of amazing screenplays to reference and using EAP work as reference to discuss commonality of tension/fear between the two would be in an interesting conversation, so why can't we do that?
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Old 06-30-2019, 02:53 PM   #20
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

So there is a screenplay that plays around with prose in a very comical was... BALLS OUT

I'm sure ComicBent remembers the writers malcolm spellman and tim talbott

...together they formed The Robotard 8000

the script is irreverent in a lot of ways and uses the all the elements of formatting for comical effect, it's a very entertaining read and had a huge buzz in HW, everyone loved the script, but no one ever thought it would make a good movie, it lived in the screenplay format and I would imagine that the writers knew that. It was written for other writers to read and poked fun at cliche action films.

Balls Out has it's place on the blacklist and in screenplay history

https://docplayer.net/168403-Balls-o...tard-8000.html
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