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Old 01-20-2007, 12:13 PM   #41
sc111
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

Log: An accountant learns the world is going to end. (For some reason, five pages doesn't fit in one post. See second post).

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET – DAY

A rush of pedestrians scurry around a man standing in the middle of the sidewalk. This is –

JOSHUA MONTBLANC (late 50s, paunchy). His straggly white hair hangs over the collar of his open jacket, his tee-shirt reads: CHEMO-SABE. And his jeans are way beyond well worn.

Smiling like he doesn't have a mortal care in the world, Joshua gazes up at a TOWERING GREYSTONE OFFICE BUILDING.

JOSHUA
This should be good.

INT. GREYSTONE OFFICE BUILDING - 10th FLOOR OFFICE

Row after row of cubicles house busy paper-pushers. We stop at the one occupied by –
BEN BARTLETT (mid-30s), in the midst of a phone call. His desk is perfectly organized, his sharpened pencils, lined up beside a stack of new legal pads. This is one tidy guy.

BEN
Yes, Mr. Gorgola. Alicia Meadows was handling your
audit. But she’s out on maternity leave. If you’d just tell
me your concerns…. Of course I know what I’m doing.
… Not true, Mr. Gorgola, many excellent CPAs take
positions with the IRS. … Don’t get snippy with me –
Mr. Gorgola, hello?

He slams the phone down. A pencil rolls a quarter-inch from its place, he moves it back. Then he opens his desk drawer and takes out a Windex bottle, a cloth and spray-cleans his PC screen.

JOSHUA (O.C.)
Our tax dollars at work.

Joshua takes a seat beside Ben’s desk.

BEN
Excuse me, but you can’t just walk in –

JOSHUA
Joshua Montblanc. I have a two o’clock with a
Benjamin Bartlett, that’s you, right?
(cuts off Ben)
I know, I’m way early. Been looking forward to this all
week. May turn out to be one of the top ten highlights
of my existence on this crazy planet. Maybe even in the
top three. 099-42-0666. Go for it.

Joshua twiddles his fingers like he’s typing. Ben enters the number into his PC and reads.

BEN
No - this can’t be correct.

JOSHUA
Whoa - are you saying our government makes mistakes?

BEN
Mr. Montblanc. Your records indicate you owe a total
9.8 million dollars in taxes dating back to 1995.

JOSHUA
Right. That’s when it all started to feel – you know – pointless.
This mess has got to come to an end. I can’t take it anymore.

BEN
Your personal issues aside, Mr. Montblanc. Paying your taxes
is not a choice, it’s a given -

JOSHUA
A given – ha! The old death and taxes thing.

BEN
Exactly –

JOSHUA
You’re half right, Ben-ster. I’m dying. I’m dying and I’ve
decided to take you all with me. Today. At six o’clock.

Ben’s hand shoots out toward the phone, Joshua grabs his wrist and stops him cold.

BEN
What is it – a suicide vest? Anthrax?

JOSHUA
I’ve got gobs more imagination –

BEN
One of those suitcase bombs right?

JOSHUA
Geeze, we’ll be here all day – okay, I’ll tell you.
Meteorite - size of China. It’ll be amazing. Bing-Bam-
Boom. Real fast. Because I am merciful.

This guy is clearly a nut job, Ben eyes his open jacket.

JOSHUA
Come on, Ben-ja-lah. Use your logic. Metal detectors in
the lobby – no way I’m packing. Now, consider your options.
Door one: you call security, they ship me off to the loony ward.
And the planet’s annihilated before they hand me my paper
slippers. Or, door two: we go grab a bite to eat and you sell
me on reasons why Earth should be spared from the wrath
of the almighty. Um - that would be me.

BEN
Oh. God.

(Continued...)

Last edited by sc111 : 01-20-2007 at 12:31 PM.
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Old 01-20-2007, 12:15 PM   #42
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

JOSHUA
Now you’re catching on.
(releases Ben’s wrist)
It’s all up to you, Benjamin Bartlett, you are the man.
So what’ll it be?

A happy WOMAN (40s) jumps up from her desk in the next cubicle, phone to her ear –

WOMAN
Hey everybody - Alicia just had a baby boy!

Ben listens to his co-workers applaud.

INT. STEAKHOUSE RESTAURANT – LATER

In a corner booth, Joshua cuts into a massive sirloin with gusto while Ben pokes at a Cobb Salad.

JOSHUA
Think about it. Humans – the only sentient beings with
an awareness of their own mortality. What do they do with
this insight? Squander, pillage, destroy. Invent Viagra –

BEN
Can – can we back up a second to clarify? You are
God the almighty. Yet you live in Brooklyn –

JOSHUA
Brooklyn Heights – you have to grasp the subtleties, Ben.

BEN
Okay fine. Brooklyn Heights. And you made all your money
in the stock market.

JOSHUA
Yup - when you know all and see all, it’s the ultimate insider
trading so to speak.

BEN
Look – I can see you’re sincere, astute. Excellent conversationalist.
But – God? I’m sitting here looking at a man of flesh-and-bone.

JOSHUA
Tell me about it. Colon cancer – ironic isn’t it? But it’s the
price of incarnation.

BEN
In the interest of total disclosure you need to know I’m
agnostic. Then again if you are God you would know.

JOSHUA
That and the fact that you were a bed-wetter till age thirteen.

BEN
Okay. Okay. Maybe you have some sort of extra-sensory
perception. But I still have my doubts.

JOSHUA
I’m counting on it. Look, I could’ve picked some hosanna-
spouting religious nut for this but we’d never get past the
gnashing of teeth. No, I picked you. Because I’m a reasonable
God. And I need a reasonable man to hash this out with me.
I’m totally willing to consider that – in spite of my horrible
disappointment in the screw-ups perpetrated by humanity –
maybe I’m missing something. So, make your case.
(off Ben’s odd look)
Aw, geeze. You want a demonstration?

BEN
Look it from my point of view.

JOSHUA
Fine. But this isn’t a freaking Tupperware Party, we’re on deadline.

BEN
Just one inexplicable act of God.

Joshua spots a hot supermodel at a far table. He coughs. Her glazed eyes turn toward them, she rises and makes a beeline for Ben. She grasps his face, forces his mouth to pucker up, and kisses him, long, deep, with a lot of tongue action. Then she walks off. Ben takes a deep breath.

BEN
Think of the little children.

JOSHUA
You’re looking at the guy who gave his only begotten son.
Doesn’t even move the needle.

BEN
Puppy dogs, kittens –
(Joshua BURPS)
Giraffes –

JOSHUA
Oh I do like my giraffes. Good point.

BEN
See? They deserve to live don’t they?

JOSHUA
They’ll be extinct in a hundred years. What else you got?

BEN
Art. Music. Film –

JOSHUA
Pet Rocks. The Village People. Jackass, The Movie –

BEN
You know there are millions of good, well-meaning,
generous people in this world. And given time -

JOSHUA
Unfortunately none of these fine souls are running things.
Never have. Never will. Don’t take this personally, Ben-ster,
but when it comes to picking world leaders, you guys suck.

BEN
This is so depressing.

JOSHUA
Cheer up. In a millennium or two, after the dust storm
clears, I’ll give it a second shot. That’s a promise. Hey –
you up for dessert? They make a heavenly Tiramisu.

BEN
Quitter.
(off shocked look)
That’s right, you’re a quitter. You can’t hack the long haul.
And isn’t it really your fault? You created flawed beings.
In your own image I might add –

JOSHUA
You’ve got balls talking to me like that, Benny.

BEN
What are you going to do? Smite me? Sure – we’ve made
a ton of mistakes. Big, glaring, horrendous mistakes. But we
we persevere. We keep going. We have hope. Something
you clearly lack, Mr. Supreme Being. You destroy us, all
hope in the universe goes with us.

Joshua considers this and takes a sip of his wine. Then he reaches into his jacket, pulls out a checkbook and begins to write.

JOSHUA
I’m going to round it up to ten mill.

BEN
Fine. And lunch is on you.

FADE OUT.

Last edited by sc111 : 01-20-2007 at 12:52 PM.
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Old 01-20-2007, 12:20 PM   #43
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

Quote:
Originally Posted by OzFade View Post
I'm so in I can't see a way out.
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Old 01-20-2007, 01:34 PM   #44
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Priya View Post
Okay guys, Adam's inspired me! I herefore set forth a challenge to all writers. Choosing one idea for the last challenge was interesting. No doubt. But, now's time for something a little different...

Below, you'll see that I've chosen ten random loglines. None are brilliant. But that's the idea.

Now, what I'm thinking here is you've got to imagine that a producer's gone around the bend. Sure, he loves your writing, but that may be his last sane thought. Last night, after some particularly suspect mushrooms, he's come up with some ideas that he wants YOU to write. He's got money, he's got cachet, so, you know, you really do want to work with him. But, he's also been hitting the wacky weed a little too much. BUT. If you do this, and pull it off, it might just make your career.*

The rules:

-- Five page max (must have beginning, middle, end -- no partial entries). No more, no less.

-- You must stick to the logline (please paste logline to the top of your short) you choose (from the ten listed below). If it says lazy dentist, you must show/have a lazy dentist.

-- Genre's up to you. A lot of these lend themselves to comedy -- it might be interesting to go another way. The producer doesn't mind what genre it is, as long as you realize his vision!

-- Have fun!

-- Deadline's midnight on the 23rd of January. You have one week!

-- There will only be one winner (only one prize**). Voting will take place starting January 24th. Ultimately, my vote trumps all. Just so you know.

Ten Random Loglines:

1. A radio announcer, a lazy dentist, and a feisty refugee from Alaska worry about their loved ones on a desert island.

2. The father-in-law of a prince runs out of gas and ends up in a fantasy world in a Mexican border town.

3. A quartet of game programmers witness a murder.

4. A plaintiff and four charming tap-dancers overcome immense obstacles.

5. A pair of rhyming advertising executives cooks dinner for homeless people in a mansion.

6. A mutant jewelry salesman and a conservative Marine are guests at a party.

7. An idealistic waiter, a thoughtful football coach, and a short housekeeper search for the Fountain of Youth.

8. Six assassins practice an act for a talent show.

9. A knight, a masseuse, and a bug-eyed monster give conflicting reports to the police in a forest.

10. An accountant learns the world is going to end. (For OzFade)





* It's not really going to make your career. Or will it?

** In the interest of giving back:

The winner will get the opportunity to send me a completed script -- if the winner doesn't have a completed script, the next runner-up can send me a completed script, and so on (runners-up will not get passed along, though) -- I will read said script and give you notes on it. IF I LOVE the script. LOVE it. If I absolutely adore it, I'll pass it along to my agent -- if you don't already have one and are looking for representation. If I don't LOVE it, or you have an agent already (or don't want one) I'll give you notes (hi, former reader here) and help you get it into shape for contest season. That's it. Good luck all!

A note:

No, I will not read your script if you don't win, or if you don't enter. No, I will not pass it along if you don't win or don't enter. Please don't PM me. Don't email me. Don't call me. I'm not interested.
Okay, This one sounds interesting.

Just a few clarifications. You have deadline as midnight 23rd January. I've assumed, although just wanted to clarify, that that's USA time. So I assume that gives us Brits around 7 hours extra....uhh I think.

It also doesn't mention how the judging is to be organised. You say that voting begins on 24th January, but that your vote trumps all. So does that mean that the vote by others is just for fun, but ultimately there's only one vote and you will decide the winner?

That's all really. Just wanted to clarify those two things.
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Old 01-20-2007, 02:46 PM   #45
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Default Writing Challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harbinger View Post
It also doesn't mention how the judging is to be organised. You say that voting begins on 24th January, but that your vote trumps all. So does that mean that the vote by others is just for fun, but ultimately there's only one vote and you will decide the winner?
It's Priya's challenge, (and Priya's rules). We can meet that challenge and disagree with Priya's deciding vote. It's a bit of exercise, writing-wise, on a fool's errand with a few "randomly chosen loglines," (which aren't really loglines, but situations). Have some fun, and submit five pages, (if you wish). No one's forcing you to join the fun.
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Old 01-20-2007, 02:59 PM   #46
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

What a bizarre response.

The rules don't clarify, at least clearly, who has the deciding vote. It mentions that there will be votes, but that Priya's will trump them.

I simply wanted to know if it was his vote that decided the winner or if we still vote, but his vote, as the contest organiser, carried more weight.

So maybe the vote total was expressed as a percentage part of which was was our vote, as the individual poster's and then a hefty part of the percentage was in Priya's vote.

I was trying to find out who needs buttering up. Where to send the bribe money and who would sign for the delivery of the magnum of Champagne.

Quote:
There will only be one winner (only one prize**). Voting will take place starting January 24th. Ultimately, my vote trumps all. Just so you know.
The above seemed a little strange since we were still voting, but Priya's vote would trump ours. I was just clarifying, did that mean that our individual votes were just for fun.

Nothing more.

But I feel you have interpretted it some other way. Epecially with lines like 'No one's forcing you to join the fun.'

What's that saying about assumption?

Last edited by Harbinger : 01-20-2007 at 03:10 PM.
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Old 01-20-2007, 08:03 PM   #47
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Cool Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

Quote:
Originally Posted by dpaterso View Post
Didn't Hitchcock say that suspense is the slow-burning anticipation that comes with the audience's knowing exactly what's about to happen next, while the characters don't know? And thriller relies on the audience's not knowing what will befall the characters in the next minute as they get deeper and deeper into trouble -- yet knowing full well that something must go horribly wrong?

-Derek
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Old 01-20-2007, 09:41 PM   #48
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harbinger View Post
What's that saying about assumption?
It means quit b*tching. Obviously Fortean thought your complaints came a page too late to be taken seriously. Those comments mean if you don't win, you don't get sh*t...UNLESS Priya reads your short and thought your's was better than the others despite the judges vote. Then, I suspect you would find a PM in your inbox mentioning this. So in other words: win the f*cking contest.

I'm nearly finished with my first, and have my second one outlined. I'm shooting for 3 or 4 AM...we'll see. Definitely not like any of these others. Some good writers here though, so we'll see.

Good luck to everyone else.
__________________

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Old 01-20-2007, 11:34 PM   #49
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

A radio announcer, a lazy dentist, and a feisty refugee from Alaska worry about their loved ones on a desert island.

Don’t know which is on the desert island (the characters or their loved ones) but thought this would be more interesting

FADE IN

EXT. OCEAN - DAY

The swelling waves... The tumbling foam... The azure sky...

JACKSON (OVER)
The swelling waves... The tumbling foam... The azure sky...

A hand slips into the soft white sand... Raises... Sifts the contents through its fingers, carried away by the breeze...

JACKSON (OVER)
Like sand through the hour glass... These are the days of our lives...

Angle on JACKSON... Sixties... Tanned... A kind face with sharp features honed and shaped through many days without the fats and carbohydrates of civilization...

JACKSON
We meet a man... Sixties... Tanned... He has a kind face... With sharp features... Honed and sharpened... Through many days gone without the fats and carbohydrates of civilization...
(a beat)
But alone? Hardly...

Jackson looks over to a skinny young man, his clothes torn, his legs shaking like a wet chihuahua...

JACKSON
He has the company of men... One shakes like a wet chihuahua... The other hardly moves at all...

A third man wearing an open shirt and Oakley shades casts a sidelong glance... Manages to give him the bird...

JACKSON
In this time of the decline of the West we ironically find ourselves stranded in the far East, not knowing where the winds of change have taken us, or if they’ll ever return us home...
(a long beat)
Why - it reminds me of Stu Richardson... Quarterback for the Alabama Rolling Tide... His back against the wall - an All-American wide receiver and his starting running back, both lost to injuries in the penultimate contest that would lead to the national championship -

The shaking chihuahua springs at Jackson’s throat, his hands held fast around the asophygus, now turning blue...

Oakley sighs... Leans back on his comfortable palm...

CHIHUAHUA
(while strangling)
I’m so sick of your g****mn narrative I could kill you! Do you understand, I could kill you!

He lets go... Steps back... Collects himself...

CHIHUAHUA
I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have done that... I should realize that my emotions get the best of me sometimes and -

OAKLEY
You know who you remind me of?
(a beat)
Kind of a cross between John Leguizamo and Dennis Leary...
(the chihuahua looks up)
You ever see Ice Age?
(a tense beat)
Maybe you should stop snorting lines of sand...

On a stump near Oakley’s palm lies a rolled up $1 and four fat lines of sparkling white sand...

CHIHUAHUA
You know what, Oakley, you got nothin’ to say... You know why? Because you’re a g****mn idiot... That’s why. You call yourself a doctor? You’re not a doctor, you’re a dentist. What are you gonna do to me? You’re nothin’ without your drill. There’s no nurse here to hold us down -

OAKLEY
I wish there were...

CHIHUAHUA
No light to keep us blinded while you probe with your... Your probes! You just sit there under your little palm tree with those smug little eyes under all that smug little sarcastic darkness. But you can’t make anyone floss out here...

OAKLEY
(after a beat)
I couldn’t make anyone floss... Ever... That’s up to them...
(a beat)
And I don’t even floss...
(another beat)
But I can’t understand why you don’t let the old man have his stories... He was a big time guy in college sports... It’s hard to let it go... And why should he?

CHIHUAHUA
Stories? Stories?? He doesn’t have any stories, he was g****mn play by play guy! You want stories? How about Jack London!

OAKLEY
Oh, here we go...

CHIHUAHUA
Ya, Jack London, a real hero! Stuck in the wilderness for years! On purpose mind you! He had to kill a wolf with his bare hands and crawl inside its belly just to keep warm! And here you sit with your suntan and your rancid coconut milk -

At this Oakley SPEWS HIS MILK for fear the chihuahua may be right...

CHIHUAHUA
I tell you this, dentist... And this isn’t just because of my Alaskan heritage -

OAKLEY
Oh come off it - you were born in Omaha...

CHIHUAHUA
Hey! My parents moved us to Fairbanks when I was three! I went to sleep by the Northern Lights while you were pluggin’ your night light into a suburban nightmare!

OAKLEY
Bah...

CHIHUAHUA
All I’m sayin’ is you better hope the Jack London in me never comes out...

JACKSON
I was just trying to savor the moment. We’ll remember this for the rest of our lives, gentlemen...

CHIHUAHUA
The rest of our lives? This is the rest of our lives. This... is the rest of our lives.

Chihuahua moves to the beach...

Reaches into the crashing surf to bring up a FED EX package...

He kneels to open the package... Digs around... Pulls out a bunch of newspaper... Offers it to his island mates...

CHIHUAHUA
Here... More toilet paper...

Jackson tears off a headline... Oakley passes...

OAKLEY
No need...

CHIHUAHUA
You’re disgusting...

Chihuahua finally comes to the prize... He holds up a glass jar, allowing it to shine in the sunlight... A beat...

CHIHUAHUA
Great... What the f*** are we supposed to do with this?

A beat...

OAKLEY
We could fill it with water...

In the silence the waves crash onto the shore... After a moment their laughter begins... First Oakley... Then Jackson... Finally Chihuahua...

The jar falls to the beach as they can no longer contain their hysteria...

Finally their laughter subsides...

JACKSON
Hey fellas, come here... Take a look at this...

The islanders gather around the headline in his hands: “US SET TO SEND MORE TROOPS TO WAR IN IRAQ”

CHIHUAHUA
We’re at war?

As they try to make out wet print...

JACKSON
I have two nephews in the navy... Stationed in South Carolina...

OAKLEY
My son... He was sixteen when I crashed... He wanted to be a fighter pilot...

CHIHUAHUA
I have a sister in the Louisiana National Guard. Based out of New Orleans...

A lingering silence...

JACKSON
My God... How much life we’ve missed...

The waves continue rolling onto the shore...

END
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Old 01-21-2007, 02:34 AM   #50
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Default Re: Randomly Chosen Loglines Writing Challenge!

Originally Posted by Harbinger
What's that saying about assumption?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Isaac View Post
It means quit b*tching. Obviously Fortean thought your complaints came a page too late to be taken seriously. Those comments mean if you don't win, you don't get sh*t...UNLESS Priya reads your short and thought your's was better than the others despite the judges vote. Then, I suspect you would find a PM in your inbox mentioning this. So in other words: win the f*cking contest.

I'm nearly finished with my first, and have my second one outlined. I'm shooting for 3 or 4 AM...we'll see. Definitely not like any of these others. Some good writers here though, so we'll see.

Good luck to everyone else.
The saying about asumption means 'Quit bitching' does it? Evidently I'm dealing with an intellectual powerhouse here.

I apologise if that seems a little inflamatory, but to be honest the disrespect never began on my part.

Lets get a few things clear.

I asked those questions of Priya, the organiser of the contest. I needed a few things clarified. why Fortean felt the compulsion to answer on his behalf is anyone's guess. So regardless of whether he viewed my comments as serious or not is really a moot point because they were never directed at him anyway. I asked a perfectly legitimate question to clarify something that wasn't quite clear.

Oh by the way it was indeed a question. So why you chose to use the word 'complaints' in relation to what I said is beyond me. Perhaps it's an attempt to potray my innocent question as something different than what it was. Cause maybe it backs up your unfounded 'B*tching' comment

As to the voting issue, you sound just as confused. So The votes by DD members counts unless Priya doesn't agree? Ah, the wonder of democracy!

That's not what I think Priya meant at all and that's what I wanted clarified. Does Priya choose or is it the voters or a combination of the two? A simple question, that I asked perfectly respectfully.

Oh and nice to see you punctuate your comment with abusive language.

Let me guess. Charm school was firebombed right?



My apologies to the other posters that a simple legitimate question has bizarrely derailed the thread and detracted from the good work posted here thus far.
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