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Old 07-06-2019, 07:24 PM   #51
Centos
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julysses View Post
you empathize with a character and a situation, not a choice of words in an action line...
And you use the right words in the action line to get the reader to empathize with your character. That's the whole point of dramatic writing. And it's completely different than the mechanical process of writing a step-by-step guide on how to program a robot.

And speaking of Poe ... note how in The Raven, the tone remains the same even when the mood shifts from unaware, to fear, to amusement, to realization, to dread, to doom. If Poe had ever written screenplays I seriously doubt you would have been reading this dry, mechanical, boring prose that some screenplay writers think equals the "correct" method.

~~~~
The Raven


Edgar Allan Poe - 1809-1849

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door—
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"—here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"—
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never—nevermore.'"

But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting—
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!
~~~~

Now write the mechanical version and see which readers will like more.
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Old 07-06-2019, 08:27 PM   #52
finalact4
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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I was just setting you up, because I do think you and few people around here don't care about the craft of screenwriting, you just to be right and hope some professional writer will take you under their wing and fly you into hollywood stardom...

I left it ambiguous because you're desperate to be right and would draw the conclusion to attack me.

...just write a good script and be yourself

I'm not sure a literary agent(woman) getting emotional is about the prose of your action lines and I'm sure it more to do with the overall story and empathy for these characters

She's talking about having a voice and someone championing her voice... this is what having a voice is all about, having your own perspective on people and events
oh, this is so precious, i'm going to print it and save it.
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Old 07-06-2019, 09:51 PM   #53
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

All you have to do is read Julysses posts in this thread to understand tone and voice. His personality is coming out very clearly.
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Old 07-06-2019, 10:37 PM   #54
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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I was just setting you up, because I do think you and few people around here don't care about the craft of screenwriting, you just to be right and hope some professional writer will take you under their wing and fly you into hollywood stardom...
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!

Anybody else's troll alarm going off?
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Old 07-08-2019, 08:13 PM   #55
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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Originally Posted by Julysses View Post
I was just setting you up, because I do think you and few people around here don't care about the craft of screenwriting, you just to be right and hope some professional writer will take you under their wing and fly you into hollywood stardom...
Good cover-up! -- and so poetic. You sure got me fooled.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sc111 View Post
I realized that, if an industry person reading your work feels a genuine emotion -- as you said, wonder, dread, anxiety and horror (and any other number of emotional reactions including positive emotions) -- it creates a connection not only with the work but also with the writer.
Me likey.

Now with regard to all this Poe you guys uploaded, I saved it to my computer. I practically know "The Raven" by heart.
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Old 07-14-2019, 11:57 AM   #56
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

seems like the same people who never want to discuss screenwriting and only share links to 'screenwriting gurus' are the one getting upset... go figure

you don't know me personally, you just feel like an idiot because someone points out that your wrong about point you're trying to make

any scribe would give examples of oscar winning screenplays that use dramatic action lines to create drama on the page and that would be great... I'm sure there are examples...

but, my point is that the tone in voice is primary about dialog and characterization, the problem is there is no link to some crap website with a pretentious wannabe screenwriter who's telling you to think that's a correct opinion... it's this hug box for adult children, what the internet has become and they hate anyone that's not one of them
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Old 07-14-2019, 12:04 PM   #57
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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Originally Posted by R.D. Wright View Post
Good cover-up! -- and so poetic. You sure got me fooled.
I don't know who you are RD, why would I care at all...



Quote:
Originally Posted by R.D. Wright View Post
Now with regard to all this Poe you guys uploaded, I saved it to my computer. I practically know "The Raven" by heart.
you saved it to your computer, BUT, you know it by heart?

it's like an oxymoron in spacial form or something
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Old 07-14-2019, 12:18 PM   #58
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

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Originally Posted by Centos View Post
And you use the right words in the action line to get the reader to empathize with your character. That's the whole point of dramatic writing.
couldn't hurt... you're talking about the reader who passes on your script to a producer?

do you think the Director and department heads are going to read your drama prose in the action lines and be inspired to have a better camera move or use certain props ... the art director is going to create this amazing color pallet based on the emotion from the description?

could happen... idk

I think I would use the room on the page for important details are are easy to read and understand
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Old 09-15-2019, 02:57 AM   #59
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Default Re: How Tone and Voice = Writer's Style (attitude and personality)

A writer must value words.

It does not matter if one is a poet, a novelist, a screenwriter, or a songwriter. Each word contributes to tone, to mood, to feeling.

I cannot speak to how everyone in the industry reads or reacts to scripts, but for me personally, I do not care. I love reading a script from a writer who I know can easily write a poem, a screenplay, or a novel. I know I am in good hands. I won't just be in for a movie treat, but this might very well be a streamlined literary masterpiece as well, if there is such a thing.

For me, every script I put out there, I want it to be stamped with my blood. We create the mood. And we set the tone. Descriptive lines are a large part of that. Perhaps I am alone in that thinking, and that's ok.

As a side note, we can examine The Brigands of Rattleborge. Zahler. I could be wrong, but I'm not sure if anyone knew who he was as a screenwriter before that script. The characters are good, the structure and conflict and all that is good. Very solid. Professional. But the thing that stands out to me, the thing which I believe launched his career, and got that project sold, got it all the attention it received, was the descriptive writing.

It wasn't stage direction. It wasn't a blueprint. It was real writing. And I personally found it incredibly refreshing.

I knew after that, everytime I read a Zahler script, this is him. I would like to leave that same imprint, although I am far from it.

In the end, there is no right or wrong. This is art. And to each his/her own.
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